Dilemma - I need a solution, Please

[degbele 0]

I feel your pain.. and these stories are common with some ghanaian women who turn into something else upon arriving here in the US. If you really feel she's not someone who will change. then i'll advice you save your energy, talk to a divorce attorney and find a peaceful way to walk out of her life. Her deeds will will surely folllow her.

[TBoneTX 43,019]

Five off-topic posts have been removed. Please stick to the OP's issues.

[marymon 15]

Check your state 's divorce law. If your State is community properties state, she can have portion of your 401k,saving, and other properties. If worse, you have to give half of all you have.

[Fan_Dancer 171]

I want her and me to take a trip to Ghana, destroy her green card upon arrival and contact the US consulate not to grant her a visa to return to the U.S. Is this possible?

Lol, yes, do that I am sure you will enjoy jail.

Edited April 29, 2015 by Fan_Dancer

[UnaMexicana 153]

Talk about being mature. You don't "come across" her searches. Seek and you shall find, is what I have found from my own experience.

If you no longer wish to be married to this person, get a divorce.

Any time invested in trying to get back at her is precious time and energy wasted that you could otherwise use in healing and moving on.

To answer your question, you can't control what she does or she does not do, as you clearly have not been able to control her desire to send her money to her family or the fact that she will not sign the beneficiary change.

You can either get a divorce asap or try and have an adult conversation with her and decide as a couple what you want to do.

I wish you the best in whatever decision you make!

UnaMexicana

[toribae1031 3]

I totally understand how you feel.

but don't worry too much... she has conditional green card. and...

hers conditional green card expires in 10 months.

it will be lil bit difficult to file 10 years green card(permanent gc) after you divorce with her.

but don't try to destroy hers life.. i understand it but you don't need to waste your time.

just calm down and find a lawyer to divorce with her before gc expires. and leave her.

and even joint stuff you can make it yours without her....

she will have hard time again once she files 10 yrs greencard without you.

and she will get soo nervous and feel so desperate until she receive 10 yrs green card

it takes around 6 or 12 months.

then she may look back what she has done

sooo.. don't worry too much and don't waste your emotional feeling to her if you already realized that your spouse were cheating on you. or married her. at least you both were loving eachother thats why you decided to marry her.

if you are really worried about spending money for hers family. you don't need to give money to her and close joint bank account.... you don't need to make more and more drama for it.

then fine..

just... don't make more and more drama and don't talk bad stuff about your wife. Because she is still your wife. but if she act so foolish and selfish to spend money like that. you can close it and don't give money to her. she has green card she can make her own money to send it to hers family.

if she figure it out that what you did about money issue. she may be freaked out and you guys will argue.

then record it lol

I filed i-130 and sponsored my spouse to the United States from Ghana. Ever since she arrived 14 months ago, we have had about two months of good time with no quarrels. 12 of the 14 months have been hell. I have over $170K in my 401K and decided to change my beneficiary because I do not want her to get the money in case anything happens to me; but she refused to sign the change of beneficiary form.

When I send money to my family in Ghana, she is not too happy about it; but she works and send her money to her family without consulting with me. She does not support me in anyway. I invested about $40K for our wedding and to get her to the U.S. Now I am regretting I ever brought her here.

Recently, I came across some searches she made on her phone. Just to name a few of those searches, she was googling the following: how do i know my boss is in love with me? how do i know when it's right to get a divorce?...

I am beginning to feel she married me just to come to the U.S, use and dump me. Why would she refuse to sign the 401K change in beneficiary and do all the negative things she does?

Her conditional green card expires in 10 months. I know I will nott assist her in removing the conditions. I want her to go back to Ghana before her card expires, without any possibility of coming back to the U.S. My question is how do I do that?

If she is in Ghana at the time her card expires, she will not be able to remove the conditions by herself from there; but if she is here even after the card expires, she can still remove the condition.

I want her and me to take a trip to Ghana, destroy her green card upon arrival and contact the US consulate not to grant her a visa to return to the U.S. Is this possible?

I wish I had stayed single; better still married someone from the U.S.

Thanks for your help.

Edited April 29, 2015 by toribae1031

[Teddy B 17,251]

[Boiler 43,393]

Wow. Did that say what I think it said?

[Beverrlly 7]

Do you have any tangible proof that she married you just to make it here other than mere sentiments? From your own story it did seem like a real marriage that's failing... you stated that you argued for two months and for whatever the argument, the marriage has just been impacted. marriage is tough bro and take it easy less you hurt yourself worse than it already is.

This.

You're mad at her for not signing a piece of paper that says that you'll leave her penniless if you die? And SHE'S to blame?

[Jawaree 717]

I filed i-130 and sponsored my spouse to the United States from Ghana. Ever since she arrived 14 months ago, we have had about two months of good time with no quarrels. 12 of the 14 months have been hell. I have over $170K in my 401K and decided to change my beneficiary because I do not want her to get the money in case anything happens to me; but she refused to sign the change of beneficiary form.

When I send money to my family in Ghana, she is not too happy about it; but she works and send her money to her family without consulting with me. She does not support me in anyway. I invested about $40K for our wedding and to get her to the U.S. Now I am regretting I ever brought her here.

Recently, I came across some searches she made on her phone. Just to name a few of those searches, she was googling the following: how do i know my boss is in love with me? how do i know when it's right to get a divorce?...

I am beginning to feel she married me just to come to the U.S, use and dump me. Why would she refuse to sign the 401K change in beneficiary and do all the negative things she does?

Her conditional green card expires in 10 months. I know I will nott assist her in removing the conditions. I want her to go back to Ghana before her card expires, without any possibility of coming back to the U.S. My question is how do I do that?

If she is in Ghana at the time her card expires, she will not be able to remove the conditions by herself from there; but if she is here even after the card expires, she can still remove the condition.

I want her and me to take a trip to Ghana, destroy her green card upon arrival and contact the US consulate not to grant her a visa to return to the U.S. Is this possible?

I wish I had stayed single; better still married someone from the U.S.

Thanks for your help.

Dude if U are done with the marriage, get a law firm that can file a divorce,

and can prepare an iron-clad will with your thoughts of why she marry you

and her treatment and choose a beneficiary....she is already savvy to the ways

here, don't be hateful move on, I would move out, then have her served

please forget about her going back home focus on you assets now because she

is your responsibility (i864) I would not reveal to no one I made a will

except atty & executor, amicably move out split stuff ,let her take what she wants

no arguments, & have a witness when U move out, if you are both on a lease , go

break it.sign yourself off. pay what u Have to just be rid of her

Edited April 29, 2015 by Jawaree

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You lost me at wanting to deceive her into going out of the country and destroying her GC. Man get a divorce, protect your accounts

and assets and MOVE ON.