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40 years later, story of a same-sex marriage in Colo. remains remarkable

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So it turns out that same sex marriage and immigration have been before the courts a lot longer than even I knew. [source]

“I’ve got the license and the faggot letter if you want to look at them,” Anthony Sullivan said cheerfully.

It’s a glorious California day, sunny and breezy, and a wind chime clangs relentlessly outside the vine-covered apartment building where dancer Ann Miller once scuffed the hardwood floors and the Hollywood Ten met in the basement.

Sullivan, 73, who manages the place, always has the documents handy.

The license shows that Anthony Corbett Sullivan and Richard Frank Adams were married April 21, 1975, in Boulder, Colo., years before others thought two men should be allowed to wed and decades before a majority of Americans would say it was okay with them, too.

The letter is the official response from the U.S. government after Adams informed officials of his nuptials and asked that his new husband, an Australian citizen facing deportation, be extended a spouse’s visa.

Denied, the immigration service said, for the following reason: “You have failed to establish that a bona fide marital relationship can exist between two faggots.”

The denial sparked a first-of-its-kind lawsuit, and the eventual “exile” of the two men.

All of this — the groundbreaking marriage, the profane government response, the first case asking a federal court to recognize a same-sex marriage — would be enough to make the 41-year romance of Sullivan and Adams, who died in 2012, remarkable.



The censored word is a nasty word for gay that starts with an f and rhymes with maggots. The whole story is amazing and the last two paragraphs of the whole story rang with me eerily. I feel like my wife and I could have written them.

Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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That was an ugly letter, but very compelling read. Interesting how their paths crossed with Kennedy back then.

Not bad at 70 when you can look back at your life and realize it would make a heck of a movie.

I'll bet they wished that their lives weren't movie-worthy and were just boring and happy.


Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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It sounds like they were happy. That's the most important part. I'm sure like most people, they just wanted to live their lives.

They were happy, it sounds like. And that is important. But they were happy while having to live in exile and then live illegally in the United States and that's a big deal, too, and unfair.


Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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Hopefully this type of nonsense will be in our rear view window. Looking forward to a scotus ruling on equal marriage rights for all humans.

Looking forward to when I can legally marry more than one female at a time.

It all needs to be equal.............

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Looking forward to when I can legally marry more than one female at a time.

It all needs to be equal.............

Then you should fight really hard against the handful of fundamentalist religious polygamists who ruin the idea for everyone by marrying children and having forced marriages. There are many triads and more living in harmony who would be happy to have plural marriages and whose plural marriages would hurt absolutely no one. Unfortunately, a handful of jerks have ruined it for everyone and it's become difficult for people to separate forced underage marriage from plural marriage.


Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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Unfortunately civil rights never came easy or naturally to the US. Every group that is perceived as different from the norm has had to pretty much make waves and noises to get to be heard. It is true of women, jews, blacks and gays as well.

Until the repeal of DOMA we helped my brother's spouse stay in the country through proper dual-intent visas but it was an expensive and paper-intensive proposition. We were all beyond happy when they were able to apply for his greencard just like any other married couple.

Churchill (?) said something to the effect that eventually America always does the right thing...

They were happy, it sounds like. And that is important. But they were happy while having to live in exile and then live illegally in the United States and that's a big deal, too, and unfair.


No doubt your wife must feel the same about her being able to marry another male...

Looking forward to when I can legally marry more than one female at a time.

It all needs to be equal.............

Edited by JohnR!

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They were happy, it sounds like. And that is important. But they were happy while having to live in exile and then live illegally in the United States and that's a big deal, too, and unfair.

Of course it's unfair. What impressed me is he holds no grudges, he's not bitter. He has every reason to be an angry at everything and he's doesn't seem to be at all.

There's a lesson for a lot of people there. Life is seldom fair. It's what you make of it. I don't think I could have let things go the way they seemed to have. I'm not sure I would have gotten past the letter.


QCjgyJZ.jpg

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Of course it's unfair. What impressed me is he holds no grudges, he's not bitter. He has every reason to be an angry at everything and he's doesn't seem to be at all.

There's a lesson for a lot of people there. Life is seldom fair. It's what you make of it. I don't think I could have let things go the way they seemed to have. I'm not sure I would have gotten past the letter.

We don't know that he's not bitter. We don't know how many years he spent bitter. We just know he puts on a good face in public.


Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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True as it may be, that he puts on a good face in public says something about his attitude.

We don't know that he's not bitter. We don't know how many years he spent bitter. We just know he puts on a good face in public.


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www.ffrf.org




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Looking forward to when I can legally marry more than one female at a time.

It all needs to be equal.............

I'm sorry, what does this have to do with that?

As for the OP, it's a shame that hurtful word was printed on an official document :angry:


“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” – Coretta Scott King

"Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge." -Toni Morrison

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

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