Frustration and constant feeling of dread at every turn

[lucy85 0]

So I have been in the US for over 10 years, single woman, studied here as F1, got my degree, switched to EAD, found a job, then switched to H1B with my company, did pretty well and now we are beginning the PERM process after maxing out the 6 years extension. Within these 10 years I have built a life here, I'm seeing someone, have many American friends, bought a car and house and a dog, the whole shebang.

Last week the HR of my company had a meeting with me.. just an update on my PERM process. My employers will interview some people with the same qualifications as I do, and determine whether or not I am the best person for the job blablablah, and they will then submit that to the government. And the gov will either say yep, she's good and she can have the American dream, or nope, not good enough, we don't want you, sayonara, sell the house and dog, and get out.

And here's the catch, HR said to me. I'm not part of STEM, I am a graphic designer and the arts is not super important when it comes to this sort of thing, and there is the possibility that the application will be denied. And my HR guy said that if that is happens, and he says it as if it's gonna happen, then there is nothing else the company can do and that's that and I should 'be ready for a major life change.'

Now I know that they don't owe me anything and there's no reason to panic before anything has happened. And I also know that my field of work isn't exactly as important as a doctor saving lives. But I can't help feeling as if I am easily discarded just because I am not part of STEM. And that I am routinely tested at work because of the interview process with potential replacements. I am quite accomplished yet art is so subjective and I am placing my life in the hands of people who seemingly only see me as a piece of paper. I have a lot to offer and work day and night but I feel as if it is all not important.

I have looked into obtaining an O1 visa but it seems an even worse visa than a H1B, and much harder to get. In fact I feel very diminished looking at the requirements, I can meet some of the conditions but as a new hopeful immigrant who has only graduated barely 5 years ago, there simply wasn't enough time to accumulate a vast resume that would impress the O1 judges. Plus it is not as secure as a green card.

How do people do it? It is so hard to immigrate without either having family connections, or marrying someone, winning the lottery or being some kind of instant international celebrity.

And yes, many MANY have suggested I marry my boyfriend. He is unfortunately not a citizen, but a green card holder. Which means that if he gets naturalized and I marry him, we would have to do the whole 'proving you're in a relationship' thing. I find it very dehumanizing! Either way I turn it is scrutiny. And I would have to wait years anyway for that process, and to be honest I wouldn't want to get married just because of this. I want him to ask me because he wants to without this process tainting our relationship. And I really want to be able to immigrate to the US with my own abilities and skill.

But however way I turn I feel there are so many hurdles to jump through, all of them painful and difficult. I find it hard to sleep at night, because who knows a few months from now I will get the thumbs down and will have to start packing or leaving. I can't relax or do anything because the whole 'doomsday is coming' mentality is constantly over me. I feel envy for my friends here who have job security and peace of mind that their life won't be turned upside down in a matter of months. I love this place and want to stay, and have immersed myself in the community and learned and love American culture. I want to sink my roots in and start a family here. I am trying to do this legally and properly and by the book, but it is so difficult that many times I just end up in tears from all the frustration. It is so hard to do this on my own as a single woman. I wish it was still back in the days of 'give me your poor, tired and muddled masses.' I know this is an advice forum for immigrants, but I can't find anyone else who understands how and what I feel and I hope maybe some here understands the constant feeling of dread. Thanks for reading.

[jay babe 4]

Hello Lucy, I just read ur story. Although I am not going through what you are going through, I empathize with you.

I can only imagine ur frustration and fear about what the next move will be.

Moving back after all these years here and after everything you have achieved will definitely be a major life change. HOWEVER, stay positive. Pray if you believe in it. And pls never think that your job or skill is not important: every skill is!

I pray and wish that you get to stay on your job after your interview in the next few months. All the best. I look forward to hear some good news.

Cheer up! All hope is not lost.

[lucy85 0]

Thanks Jay Babe. Your kind words means a lot to me.

[jay babe 4]

U welcome

[rlogan 2,036]

'give me your poor, tired and muddled masses.'

You are of equal value to society as anyone else. Unfortunately our government does not operate on that principle.

Right now the government is humanizing all these illegal aliens, Boo Hoo everybody cry for them and put them at the head of the line while everyone trying to do it legally like yourself is spat upon.

Yes, it has to be hard - your feelings are understandable and I am sorry you are going through this. Hope you have an understanding boyfriend, regardless of whether you are marrying him.

[sandraPro 3]

So I have been in the US for over 10 years, single woman, studied here as F1, got my degree, switched to EAD, found a job, then switched to H1B with my company, did pretty well and now we are beginning the PERM process after maxing out the 6 years extension. Within these 10 years I have built a life here, I'm seeing someone, have many American friends, bought a car and house and a dog, the whole shebang.

Last week the HR of my company had a meeting with me.. just an update on my PERM process. My employers will interview some people with the same qualifications as I do, and determine whether or not I am the best person for the job blablablah, and they will then submit that to the government. And the gov will either say yep, she's good and she can have the American dream, or nope, not good enough, we don't want you, sayonara, sell the house and dog, and get out.

And here's the catch, HR said to me. I'm not part of STEM, I am a graphic designer and the arts is not super important when it comes to this sort of thing, and there is the possibility that the application will be denied. And my HR guy said that if that is happens, and he says it as if it's gonna happen, then there is nothing else the company can do and that's that and I should 'be ready for a major life change.'

Now I know that they don't owe me anything and there's no reason to panic before anything has happened. And I also know that my field of work isn't exactly as important as a doctor saving lives. But I can't help feeling as if I am easily discarded just because I am not part of STEM. And that I am routinely tested at work because of the interview process with potential replacements. I am quite accomplished yet art is so subjective and I am placing my life in the hands of people who seemingly only see me as a piece of paper. I have a lot to offer and work day and night but I feel as if it is all not important.

I have looked into obtaining an O1 visa but it seems an even worse visa than a H1B, and much harder to get. In fact I feel very diminished looking at the requirements, I can meet some of the conditions but as a new hopeful immigrant who has only graduated barely 5 years ago, there simply wasn't enough time to accumulate a vast resume that would impress the O1 judges. Plus it is not as secure as a green card.

How do people do it? It is so hard to immigrate without either having family connections, or marrying someone, winning the lottery or being some kind of instant international celebrity.

And yes, many MANY have suggested I marry my boyfriend. He is unfortunately not a citizen, but a green card holder. Which means that if he gets naturalized and I marry him, we would have to do the whole 'proving you're in a relationship' thing. I find it very dehumanizing! Either way I turn it is scrutiny. And I would have to wait years anyway for that process, and to be honest I wouldn't want to get married just because of this. I want him to ask me because he wants to without this process tainting our relationship. And I really want to be able to immigrate to the US with my own abilities and skill.

But however way I turn I feel there are so many hurdles to jump through, all of them painful and difficult. I find it hard to sleep at night, because who knows a few months from now I will get the thumbs down and will have to start packing or leaving. I can't relax or do anything because the whole 'doomsday is coming' mentality is constantly over me. I feel envy for my friends here who have job security and peace of mind that their life won't be turned upside down in a matter of months. I love this place and want to stay, and have immersed myself in the community and learned and love American culture. I want to sink my roots in and start a family here. I am trying to do this legally and properly and by the book, but it is so difficult that many times I just end up in tears from all the frustration. It is so hard to do this on my own as a single woman. I wish it was still back in the days of 'give me your poor, tired and muddled masses.' I know this is an advice forum for immigrants, but I can't find anyone else who understands how and what I feel and I hope maybe some here understands the constant feeling of dread. Thanks for reading.

Dear lucy85:

The situation is very familiar to me.

Go ahead and find a proper attorney. On your own.

HR already told you to prepare for a major change. Therefore, you yourself should look for other solutions to stay in the US.

So sorry!

Edited April 19, 2015 by sandraPro

[sandraPro 3]

lucy85:

You should find a lawyer and go for EB2 NIW green card.

Argument with your art relevance for STEM. Use the example of a UK born artist who was known as 'Johnny' at Apple and became Steve Jobs right hand and the only respected colleague in late 90s and later in Cupertino, CA. Reference Jobs' biography for this.

This case is to be won.

[sandraPro 3]

So I have been in the US for over 10 years, single woman, studied here as F1, got my degree, switched to EAD, found a job, then switched to H1B with my company, did pretty well and now we are beginning the PERM process after maxing out the 6 years extension. Within these 10 years I have built a life here, I'm seeing someone, have many American friends, bought a car and house and a dog, the whole shebang.

Last week the HR of my company had a meeting with me.. just an update on my PERM process. My employers will interview some people with the same qualifications as I do, and determine whether or not I am the best person for the job blablablah, and they will then submit that to the government. And the gov will either say yep, she's good and she can have the American dream, or nope, not good enough, we don't want you, sayonara, sell the house and dog, and get out.

And here's the catch, HR said to me. I'm not part of STEM, I am a graphic designer and the arts is not super important when it comes to this sort of thing, and there is the possibility that the application will be denied. And my HR guy said that if that is happens, and he says it as if it's gonna happen, then there is nothing else the company can do and that's that and I should 'be ready for a major life change.'

Now I know that they don't owe me anything and there's no reason to panic before anything has happened. And I also know that my field of work isn't exactly as important as a doctor saving lives. But I can't help feeling as if I am easily discarded just because I am not part of STEM. And that I am routinely tested at work because of the interview process with potential replacements. I am quite accomplished yet art is so subjective and I am placing my life in the hands of people who seemingly only see me as a piece of paper. I have a lot to offer and work day and night but I feel as if it is all not important.

I have looked into obtaining an O1 visa but it seems an even worse visa than a H1B, and much harder to get. In fact I feel very diminished looking at the requirements, I can meet some of the conditions but as a new hopeful immigrant who has only graduated barely 5 years ago, there simply wasn't enough time to accumulate a vast resume that would impress the O1 judges. Plus it is not as secure as a green card.

How do people do it? It is so hard to immigrate without either having family connections, or marrying someone, winning the lottery or being some kind of instant international celebrity.

And yes, many MANY have suggested I marry my boyfriend. He is unfortunately not a citizen, but a green card holder. Which means that if he gets naturalized and I marry him, we would have to do the whole 'proving you're in a relationship' thing. I find it very dehumanizing! Either way I turn it is scrutiny. And I would have to wait years anyway for that process, and to be honest I wouldn't want to get married just because of this. I want him to ask me because he wants to without this process tainting our relationship. And I really want to be able to immigrate to the US with my own abilities and skill.

But however way I turn I feel there are so many hurdles to jump through, all of them painful and difficult. I find it hard to sleep at night, because who knows a few months from now I will get the thumbs down and will have to start packing or leaving. I can't relax or do anything because the whole 'doomsday is coming' mentality is constantly over me. I feel envy for my friends here who have job security and peace of mind that their life won't be turned upside down in a matter of months. I love this place and want to stay, and have immersed myself in the community and learned and love American culture. I want to sink my roots in and start a family here. I am trying to do this legally and properly and by the book, but it is so difficult that many times I just end up in tears from all the frustration. It is so hard to do this on my own as a single woman. I wish it was still back in the days of 'give me your poor, tired and muddled masses.' I know this is an advice forum for immigrants, but I can't find anyone else who understands how and what I feel and I hope maybe some here understands the constant feeling of dread. Thanks for reading.

Also, lucy85, USCIS changed the rules. Since 2013 you can get your green card through a green card holder, not only through Americans.

http://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-through-family/green-card-family-member-permanent-resident

Good luck. Let us know.

[BaronB 42]

And yes, many MANY have suggested I marry my boyfriend. He is unfortunately not a citizen, but a green card holder. Which means that if he gets naturalized and I marry him, we would have to do the whole 'proving you're in a relationship' thing. I find it very dehumanizing! Either way I turn it is scrutiny. And I would have to wait years anyway for that process.

Sorry to burst your bubble but all of us here have to go through that scrutiny. A working visa is exactly that, a working visa, not a guarantee to remain in the US forever.

[sandraPro 3]

Even though we all go through this, it does not make it right.

Edited April 19, 2015 by sandraPro

[NikLR 13,220]

Even though we all go through this, it does not make it right.

So they're just supposed to say, yeah sure you can move here because you're married? Please show me a 1st world country that doesn't require you to prove a relationship with your spouse?

H1B is a dual intent visa. Why can the OP not adjust their status?

[NikLR 13,220]

Meh she hasn't been active since Mar 23rd.