Adjusting to life in the states.

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

I have not had time to properly read all the replies, just skim and scan, so forgive me if I am repeating the same stuff others have written.

I think there is a difference between becoming settled here and assimilating here. I have been in America for 17 months now and would say I am pretty settled here but I still stick out like a sore thumb in pretty much every way. I had to just throw myself into everything, immerse myself in American life. I actually had no choice as my husband was working out of state within days of the kids and I arriving in the US so I had to be able to drive us all around, go shopping, know how to do things. Getting thrown in at the deep end was probably the best thing to do in retrospect. I would have learned more slowly had I been coddled. So that's my first tip: just dive in and get on with it.

It helps that there is no language barrier here generally but I still have the odd problem because I am Scottish. Not everyone can deal with my accent. That is especially true on the phone. Phone conversations can be painful. I have made a conscious effort to slow my speech down and that helps. My vocabulary, however, has not adjusted at all. I am just too hard-wired to the British-English words to be able to reach for the American word right away. For the most part it is fine as most Americans have watched enough British TV to know what I am on about when I ask where trousers are in the store and that sort of thing. My kids have adapted their vocabulary right away so I use them as a crutch when I am doing something more specialist. They keep me right. And I just laugh off the blank stares and "what the heck did you say?" when I get them. It's fine. Diversity is good. I have the added problem of sometimes even having to reach for the English-English word because I think of the Scots words first.

I was panicked about the whole driving thing but I passed my theory test first thing without having studied for it (I thought I was just getting the paperwork for taking the test and they made me take the test on the spot!) and the practical test was laughably easy so I passed that first time too and with no difficulty. As it was just me and a bunch of 16 year olds, that was just as well as it could have been quite embarrassing to fail after decades of experience driving.

We bought a house last summer and that process is very different from in the UK but the real estate agent led us through it and I have generally found that people have been very happy to help and are understanding even more than tolerant that things don't click into place right away. There's a lot of assumed knowledge here but you just have to speak up and explain that you don't understand something and people happily explain. I deal with that a lot with the school system. I am always firing off emails or chatting to the secretary to figure things out. Oh and the medical and tax systems here take a whole lot of wrapping your head around if you have grown up and lived your adult life in the UK. I still have not sussed the whole healthcare thing.

So, in a nutshell, I advise just getting stuck in and immersed in everyday life with as little hand-holding as possible and be prepared to ask questions or ask for guidance.

Best wishes

Laura

Ahh yeah I have a couple of Scottish friends and I'm good at understanding people and I still sometimes am like uhhh say what now? lol But it's nice that people help and I generally think most people do, just depending on the person of course. I'm glad you are finding help and adjusting well. We have been recently talking about the driving test as well cause we want to go ahead and get a driver's license first thing even though it will be temporary just so he will have it for ID purposes, etc... lol

[cdneh 3,112]

Well, I am actually a Canadian, who lived for 5 years in the UK, then back to Canada for 4, then to NZ for nearly twenty years. I really don't sound like I am from anywhere identifiable. People from Canada however, think I have quite a noticeable accent.

I found, and still do, when I go to Canada, that I feel the most out of place. I remember getting change in a cafe, and seeing for the first time the two dollar coin. I had to ask what the heck that was. The person said..."it's a toonie! Where are you from!?" I had to say...ummm...here!

I suppose if I had to say I feel most at home anywhere, it would be NZ. I lived right on the beach, in Blockhouse Bay. Here, I live in a very small town, totally flat landscape, not a drop of water to be found. It was a huge change.

I guess because I have done it before, the change might have seemed a bit less traumatic. I am probably older than a lot of people who arrive here on a K1, maybe that helped as well. I am also essentially retired. But, it is still footpath, not sidewalk, petrol, not gas, I figure let them puzzle me out

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I frequently have to repeat myself at work and it drives me mad, but there is at least one girl in the office who swoons every time I say bloody hell.

I've found people are generally pretty understanding, when I started my job here everyone wanted to explain the 401K and insurance stuff that was new to me. I've had the occasional experience where my wife has to translate for me because people don't understand me.

I feel really strange at the moment, like I still don't belong after 8 months. Does anyone else feel the same?

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

I frequently have to repeat myself at work and it drives me mad, but there is at least one girl in the office who swoons every time I say bloody hell.

I've found people are generally pretty understanding, when I started my job here everyone wanted to explain the 401K and insurance stuff that was new to me. I've had the occasional experience where my wife has to translate for me because people don't understand me.

I feel really strange at the moment, like I still don't belong after 8 months. Does anyone else feel the same?

Finally got NOA2 last night ! Yay! Anyways Otter, I wanted to say I've recently started reading your blog and I really enjoy it and we can so relate to so many things innit. Keep writing, it's really good.

[-Shana- 152]

Finally got NOA2 last night ! Yay! Anyways Otter, I wanted to say I've recently started reading your blog and I really enjoy it and we can so relate to so many things innit. Keep writing, it's really good.

Huge congrats on receiving your NOA2!! It'll all be go, go, go from here

Edited March 20, 2015 by -Shana-

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

Thank you! I am very excited but also quite nervous and scared. haha Just because I know it will go quick and we want it done as quick as possible so I hope that I do everything correctly and understand it all. lol

[-Shana- 152]

Thank you! I am very excited but also quite nervous and scared. haha Just because I know it will go quick and we want it done as quick as possible so I hope that I do everything correctly and understand it all. lol

I bet! It's a lot of faff more than anything getting all the documents together for the interview. I'm taking it you've got everything sorted already and good to go? Feel free to triple check anything with us in the progress update thread! I'm sure you'll do great.

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

Thank you! And yes for the most part. Waiting on a couple of pieces in the mail then just send everything to him and we should be good to go by the time it gets over there!

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

Tell him to get his shots sorted NOW.

Back to adjusting to life in the US--

My husband arrived in England yesterday, a trip he has planned for a few months. I noticed he never once called it going "home". So he had a pre-arranged appointment to go meet his first grandchild today and take his Mum to meet her great grandson. He is loaded with pricy gifts for baby and each parent. But wait...the baby's mother decided to go out today. Husband's Mum doesn't want to go early evening because she is going to have tea down the road with his sister. Then to top that off, Mum decided to leave town tomorrow for a week, but my husband is welcome to stay there with Marmite, the cat. Geez. No wonder he feels like his home is Texas.

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

We can totally relate to this!!!

[ExPatty 502]

The English is really no concern whatsoever. I grew up in Canada and spelled words incorrectly all my life as other Canadians do; e.g. I would put a u in honor or color. Now that I live in the US I know better. I dropped my u's. When I moved to Canada from England years prior to that I quickly stopped calling flashlights torches as well. You'll get used to it very quickly. The official language in the US is, after all, English, not "American". The changes are really few and far between.

There are of course some extremely stupid ways people speak/write, but they do that elsewhere as well, e.g. "I could care less".

If there is one word you need to practice it would be aluminum. Don't make that yum sound!

My parents are stubborn and continue to mispronounce words now 30 years after leaving England. Example: Controversy from my dad is irritatingly pronounced "Controv-ersy" instead of "Contro-versy". I think he does it just to annoy.

[CoTL 2]

The English is really no concern whatsoever. I grew up in Canada and spelled words incorrectly all my life as other Canadians do; e.g. I would put a u in honor or color. Now that I live in the US I know better. I dropped my u's. When I moved to Canada from England years prior to that I quickly stopped calling flashlights torches as well. You'll get used to it very quickly. The official language in the US is, after all, English, not "American". The changes are really few and far between.

There are of course some extremely stupid ways people speak/write, but they do that elsewhere as well, e.g. "I could care less".

If there is one word you need to practice it would be aluminum. Don't make that yum sound!

My parents are stubborn and continue to mispronounce words now 30 years after leaving England. Example: Controversy from my dad is irritatingly pronounced "Controv-ersy" instead of "Contro-versy". I think he does it just to annoy.

I lived in the UK for 19 years. I've been in the US for 7 years, I think I am destined to stay stubborn with some words. Like basil, I just can't say bay-zil. It sounds wrong.

I say flashlight not torch, but also boot and not trunk. And alu-minyum. Lol.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Finally got NOA2 last night ! Yay! Anyways Otter, I wanted to say I've recently started reading your blog and I really enjoy it and we can so relate to so many things innit. Keep writing, it's really good.

Thank you, I'm glad you like it!

Congrats on your NOA2!!

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

Thank you! Now if I don't go bonkers. haha Trying to refinance my house, plan a wedding, and do this all at the same time. You may find me in the loony bin!

[nobbie 105]

I frequently have to repeat myself at work and it drives me mad, but there is at least one girl in the office who swoons every time I say bloody hell.

I've found people are generally pretty understanding, when I started my job here everyone wanted to explain the 401K and insurance stuff that was new to me. I've had the occasional experience where my wife has to translate for me because people don't understand me.

I feel really strange at the moment, like I still don't belong after 8 months. Does anyone else feel the same?

I definately feel the same, been here about 18 months and it's not home, UK is still home and i think it always will be.

Wife and I have had a big discussion about moving back as I am just not settling here