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Lilay

Feeling extremely homesick and lonely...

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Dear VJ friends, you've always been very helpful and great at giving advice. And now I'm not asking advice for anything about the visa process, but about how to deal with getting adjusted to my new life.

When I was in my country, I was waiting impatiently to come be with my love. I thought I would be happy forever and ever without any problems. But now I find myself crying and getting really emotional, only with the thought of my mom's hugs or the days I used to spend with my friends. I'd never lived away from my parents until now, and it seems so hard to think that I will someday get used to being without them. I feel so lonely here, my husband's family is very supportive and I never regret marrying my husband, I'm very happy with my marriage (married for 2 weeks now). But one side of me, which is always homesick, makes me want to cry all the time because I can't fully enjoy the happiness my marriage has brought to me.

I've read some people talking about the homesickness that you will feel for the first few months and that it's normal. That's what I'd like to think. I'm trying to be patient and give some time to myself, and my husband is extremely supportive. But sitting at home all day while he's at work, without a job and a car, is making me depressed. And he has work trips every month for two weeks. I know that this is only temporary, and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm not patient enough, but I just need some advice or experience from those of you who have been through this.

Thank you!


K1 Journey: AOS Journey:

March 25, 2014: I-129f sent. April 16, 2015: Date filed.

April 1, 2014: NOA1 received & check cashed. April 22, 2015: NOA received.
April 2, 2014: Alien Registration Number changed.
Sep 16, 2014: NOA2 - Petition approved!
Sep 23, 2014: Case shipped to NVC.

Oct 01, 2014: Case arrived at NVC.

Oct 03, 2014: Got our case number!

Oct 06, 2014: Left NVC.

Oct 17, 2014: At the Embassy.

Oct 22, 2014: Packet 3 received.

Nov 03, 2014: Packet 3 sent.

Nov 11, 2014: Medical examination.

Dec 2, 2014: Packet 4 received.

Dec 8, 2014: Interview! (Approved!!!)

Dec 10, 2014: Visa received!!!

Jan 22, 2015: US Entry!

Feb 22, 2015: Happily ever after! :-)

April 16, 2015: Filed Adjustment of STatus.

April 22, 2015: AOS NOA received.

May 14, 2015: Biometrics appointment.

October 09, 2015: AOS approved!

September 05, 2017: Lifting conditions filed.

 

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Hi Lilay,

I can understand how you feel though I've never lived that far away from my family. My fiance is gettting ready to move here from Istanbul and I wonder to how he will adjust. We are both super excited and so happy to finally have this Visa process almost over, but we have talked about how he will miss his family and his country. Maybe things will get easier for you once you can work. Having so much time to sit around alone has to be the worst, you have all that time to miss your family and friends. I feel for you. I would miss my mom so much.

Good luck. I hope you can adjust and enjoy your new life.

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People come to America for various reasons, Some want to have a better life. Think why did you come to America. Your goals, your dreams, ask yourself this question. Your hasband went though so much to bring you here in Untied States, He must love you very much and you are so lucky to marry him.

When you got married, you took this oath that, you will faithful and he is your top of anything in your life. You must learn to stay strong for him, he is your everything. I am sure you have seperation from your parents and homesickness. Trust me you will get use to it pretty soon. United States is ideal place to live, work and grow.

Eventually you will get your driving licence, start working and make some new friends. So do not panic. Keep good envoriment at home learn about united states or make a goals for next coming years what you going to do? Maybe study, Work? or something you dreamed of.

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Are you going to start work or something similar to fill your time? The stress of moving to the US initially by myself was palpable. Much of this will dissipate over months, but it could take years before the US truly feels like your "home". Hopefully you can start work soon because sitting at home in a new environment is particularly troublesome to one's health after moving, I think.


Good luck!

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Are you going to start work or something similar to fill your time? The stress of moving to the US initially by myself was palpable. Much of this will dissipate over months, but it could take years before the US truly feels like your "home". Hopefully you can start work soon because sitting at home in a new environment is particularly troublesome to one's health after moving, I think.

Thank you everyone for your replies. It means a lot..

Yes, I'm planning on working as soon as I get my work permit. We are planning on applying for AOS in a week or two.


K1 Journey: AOS Journey:

March 25, 2014: I-129f sent. April 16, 2015: Date filed.

April 1, 2014: NOA1 received & check cashed. April 22, 2015: NOA received.
April 2, 2014: Alien Registration Number changed.
Sep 16, 2014: NOA2 - Petition approved!
Sep 23, 2014: Case shipped to NVC.

Oct 01, 2014: Case arrived at NVC.

Oct 03, 2014: Got our case number!

Oct 06, 2014: Left NVC.

Oct 17, 2014: At the Embassy.

Oct 22, 2014: Packet 3 received.

Nov 03, 2014: Packet 3 sent.

Nov 11, 2014: Medical examination.

Dec 2, 2014: Packet 4 received.

Dec 8, 2014: Interview! (Approved!!!)

Dec 10, 2014: Visa received!!!

Jan 22, 2015: US Entry!

Feb 22, 2015: Happily ever after! :-)

April 16, 2015: Filed Adjustment of STatus.

April 22, 2015: AOS NOA received.

May 14, 2015: Biometrics appointment.

October 09, 2015: AOS approved!

September 05, 2017: Lifting conditions filed.

 

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I find that when I feel really homesick buying a few sweets and foods from home that I can't get here on amazon or having my family send them over can really cheer me up.


K-1 Met:2002 Dating :2003 I-129F Sent : 2013-06-01 I-129F NOA2 : 2013-08-20 Medical: 2013-12-20 Interview Date : 2014-01-22 POE: 2014-02-19 Wedding: 2014-03-18

AOS/EAD Date Filed : 2014-04-04 BioAppt: 2014-05-13 EAD in Production: 2014-07-08 Interview date: 2014-07-14 Green Card received: 2014-07-19

ROC Date Filed: 2016-04-26 Cheque Cashed: 2016-05-10 NOA1: 2016-04-28 Biometrics: 2016-06-30 Approved: 11-08-2016 Green Card Received: 11-18-2016

 

Citizenship Date Filed: 2017-04-18 Cheque Cashed: 2017-04-24- NOA1:2017-04-21  Biometrics: 2017-05-19 Inline: 2017-07-12 Interview Date: 2018-02-13 Oath: 2018-03-15

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Give it some time and try to stay in contact with your family. Once you start to work you will have things of your own going and it will start to feel like you're building your life with your husband in your new home.

Maybe you can find some volunteer work with someone in your husband's family until that point. This way, maybe, you would meet a few new girl friends and you would have people to go have coffee with and they can visit while your husband is away.

It's wonderful that he and his family is supportive, but you need to maintain things that are important to you.

I moved to Turkey to be with my husband while we wait his visa approval. After a year, I still feel homesick sometimes, but I feel like I have built my life here and it's where I'm suppose to be. It took time and many tears, but you will get there!

Are there any people from Turkey in your area? or restaurants that feature ameri-turk food? Speaking a little turkish to someone in person or eating something from home may help. (Although turkish food is not nearly as good in America!)

Tebrikler. Dünyadaki tüm mutluluklar üzerinizde olsun.

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I find that when I feel really homesick buying a few sweets and foods from home that I can't get here on amazon or having my family send them over can really cheer me up.

what an awesome idea! be sure to save some for the hubby and his family the next time you are all together. what a fantastic way of bridging your (former) life with your new!!! :thumbs:




USCIS
30 Jan 2014 - Sent I-130
03 Feb 2014- NOA1

10 months of bologna, we cannot believe this, nor will you if you knew
02 Dec 2014- NOA2

NVC
30-Dec 2014 case received
10-Feb 2015 case and iin # assigned
10-Feb 2015 completed ds 261
11-Feb 2015 paid AOS fee
11-Feb 2015 welcome letter rec'd
15-Feb 2015 emailed AOS & IV package info
19-Feb 2015 paid IV fee
23-Feb 2015 submitted ds260
07-Apr 2015 CC :dancing:
26-May 2015. interview--approval

28-May 2015 noon visa in hand!!

POE-??

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You need to give it time, it does take a longer time to adjust and get used to everything. When I first moved to America to be an au pair I never felt homesick but I had friends who really did struggle and all I can say is that you need to keep busy and try not to think about "home", try see this new life as your home and try make plans for the future. And remember it is okay to feel homesick, and it is okay to be sad and miss the "old" life but try remember why you "left" it :)

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Hi Lilay

I had very similar circumstances! The Visa process excitement is over. The wedding plans are over. Time to settle in your new life............... It takes a lot of effort to make contact with people and allow them to befriend you. Accept any invitations to coffee or lunch. Ask if you can ride along with someone to go places. It took me a long time but it is worth the effort. I retired from a job I loved to come here, so I had to cope with that change too. You need to see your changes as positive ones, and look to the future. Being at home with no job and no car, I also turned to the internet! (What else?) I encouraged my family and friends to Skype, e-mail and use facebook. This way I could keep up with all the news from 'home" They loved seeing photos of my life here too and hearing about all the 'differences' and my projects.

I crochet and knit and ravelry.com has groups of women who are eager to chat (not just about knitting) I found myself talking about Scotland, and people loved to hear the stories (as well as enjoying my accent).

Some days I do still get homesick for the homeland, and want to see my family and friends, so then I plan a trip to see them, or encourage them to visit me for a vacation.

Enjoy Nashville with all the delights it holds!

Good luck!

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Sounds normal for newcomers.

Things will improve when you drive and work.

My wife was in same situation for first several months,

but now she copes with it by working to improve her graphic design skills

and by learning new 3D graphic design program.

She is very focused in getting a job in this field,

so it keeps her quite occupied now.

You might want to look into how best to utilize your time at home..

perhaps you can work on things to improve your job skills???


10-04-2013 We met online
11-21-2013 We met in person in Shanghai for 2 weeks

12-13-2013 I-129F packet sent via express

12-19-2013 USCIS NOA #1 (text and email) received

12-24-2013 USCIS assigns Alien Registration Number
12-31-2013 USCIS NOA #1 hard copy received
06-02-2014 USCIS web site shows NOA #2 approval
06-06-2014 USCIS web site shows case sent to NVC

06-xx-2014 Fiancee acquired birth, marriage, and police certificates from local police station (wrong)

06-16-2014 NVC creates case with GUZ### number

06-19-2014 NVC sends case sent to Guangzhou, China
06-24-2014 Received packet 3 express mail from embassy
06-25-2014 Completed DS-160 and paid K1 visa fee

06-26-2014 Mailed packet 3 response back to Embassy

06-26-2014 Requested police certificate from Russian embassy

07-08-2014 Received packet 4 email from Embassy

07-17-2014 Picked up Russian police certificate

07-25-2014 Fiancee medical exam (received MMR & Varicella, but they missed required TD shot)

07-31-2014 Picked up medical exam reports

08-01-2014 Request (correct) birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service (GongZhengChu)

08-06-2014 Picked up birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service

08-14-2014 Passed Interview Guangzhou embassy

09-01-2014 Received passport, visa, & sealed envelope

09-13-2014 POE

09-17-2014 Went to CBP office to get (US entry) I-94 updated correctly

09-18-2014 Applied for Social Security Card
09-19-2014 Applied for Marriage License (via online)
09-25-2014 Received Social Security Card
09-30-2014 Picked up Marriage License
10-09-2014 Marriage by Justice of Peace
10-09-2014 Got Certified Marriage Certificate Copies
10-17-2014 Received a letter from SS office that they need the marriage license
10-09-2014 Applied to change the social security card name
10-24-2014 Went back to SS office to provide the marriage certificate documents again!!!
12-09-2014 Submitted AOS, EAD, and AP
12-16-2014 Received 16 emails and 16 text NOA messages
01-05-2015 Received Biometrics appointment letter for (01-12-2015)
01-12-2015 Had Biometrics (fingerprint & picture) - Required Marriage Certificate!!!
02-17-2015 EAD and AP is approved
02-23-2015 Received AP is approval letter
02-25-2015 Received EAD/AP combo card (expires 02/16/2016)
02-27-2015 Applied for SS card name change (they took her SS card)
02-27-2015 Driver's learner permit test was denied since the SS card was given to SS office for name change
03-17-2015 Received SS card with married name
03-17-2015 Started to change all her accounts to married name
03-23-2015 Received potential interview waiver letter
03-27-2015 DMV rejects learner's permit due to "legal status=pending" and vision test failure
04-05-2015 Vision test for learner's permit
04-06-2015 DPS sent us letter that DHS cleared my wife's status to acquire driver's license.
04-10-2015 Passed Driver Learner's Permit
04-22-2015 Received Driver Learner's Permit ID card (expires 02/16/2016)
08-27-2015 Green Card approved
08-31-2015 Received Green Card "Welcome Notice Was Mailed" letter
09-05-2015 Received Green card
10-26-2015 Passed Driver's License Road Test (on 3rd attempt)
11-03-2015 Received Driver's License (expires 02/16/2022)
11-06-2015 Applied to remove conditional work remark on SS card
11-23-2015 Received updated Social Security Card.
- - - - - - - - - - Pending Future Processing - - - - - - - - - -
05-27-2017 File 10 Year Green Card
08-27-2017 2 Year Green Card Expires
05-27-2018 File USC

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I went through this too and came close to coming home twice. I've been here a little over a year and it's starting to feel like home. I know you really miss your family. The only thing that kept me strong was my love for my husband. It is normal for us to find comfort in the familiar. Just keep reminding yourself that you love him and would do anything for him. Find things to do. In my case, I learned how to cook, I learned how to fish, and I learned how to shoot guns (lol)... Do you have any relatives or friends in the US? Visit them. It will make you feel loads better. You will eventually get over the depression, just stay strong.


My K1 timeline (4 months/NO expedites): http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/profile.php?cfl=0&id=163489

My AOS timeline (10 months):

08/16/2014 - Sent in AOS package

08/18/2014 - Delivered per USPS website

08/22/2014 - Text of receipt numbers received

08/27/2014 - NOA hard copies received (dated 08/19 and 08/21)

08/29/2014 - Notice date of Biometrics letter

09/11/2014 - Received Biometrics appointment letter

09/18/2014 - Biometrics completed at USCIS Raleigh, North Carolina

11/08/2014 - EAD / Travel Document approved and went to card production

11/19/2014 - Received EAD/AP combo card (dated 11/14/2014)

12/16/2014 - Received Notice of Potential Interview Waiver letter dated 12/11/14

06/24/2015 - AOS approved! Card picked up by USPS KY for delivery

06/26/2015 - Received green card by mail (Yay I can rest for 2 years!)

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My dear Lilay, u r not alone. I also moved to the USA about 2 1/2months ago.

It has not been easy my dear. I have to stay home esp because it's winter ( almost over now) and also because I did not have a Driver's license.

My husband has been very supportive but he doesn't seem to fully understand my home sickness and loneliness. Currently, I have obtained my driver's license and plan on going back to school to further my career.

I feel better now than when I moved initially.

I also try to keep in touch with my family and friends back home.

It will get better my dear; it's just a matter of time.

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I'm experiencing the same thing. My wife is always working and traveling. In fact, right now she's in Belize for her job. Next month she'll be gone again on another trip. It's really tough. I feel very isolated and lonely but I'm a writer so I've been trying to keep busy writing and just making the most of any minute I do get with my wife. At least for me, I do drive and have access to a vehicle most days so I go out to coffee shops or thrift shopping or the movies ...but it just sucks that it's by myself. I discovered that a college aquaintance lives pretty close so we've been hanging out a little but she was never really a close friend plus she has a kid so it's a little different hanging out with them together all the time. I just can't wait to start working , I feel like I'll make friends that way and get to be social again! But, for me that will be another couple of months away so I just have to be patient. Hang in there!


I'm the Beneficiarydancin5hr.gif

Sept 7th, 2013 = K1 Visa Application Submitted

Sept 18th, 2013 = NOA 1 via e-mail - Case Accepted and Routed to Texas Service Center

Sept 27th 2013= Received NOA1 hard copy

Oct 5th-12th 2013 = Had an AMAZING week together and now back to waiting...ClockWatch2.gif

February 12th 2014 = Five month mark passed. Service request ordered. They said in 27days we should have an answer.

March 15th 2014 = ALIEN REGISTRATION NUMBER CHANGED! FINALLY! dancin5hr.gif

May 31st-June 11th 2014 -Spent a Beautiful week and a half together and got a huge surprise on the day before she left. :D

June 10th 2014 = PETITION APPROVED!!! Hallelujah! :dance:

August 8th 2014 = Medical. Results: Passed

September 23rd 2014= INTERVIEW: APPROVED! so happy!!!!!!!

September 25-28th 2014 = System Error prevents VISA from being issued. :cry:

September 29th 2014= VISA in hand :dancing:

September30th 2014= Entered the USA :thumbs:
December 22nd 2014=MARRIED :)

March 18th 2015 = Filed AOS

April 3rd 2015 = Received NOA1 hard copies

June 20th 2015 = Received EAD/AP card in mail :)

July 28th 2015 = Received Notice of Potential Interview waiver :mellow:

Feb 29th 2016= FINALLY! RECEIVED MY GREENCARD! :dancing:

January 26th, 2018: Filed I-751 Removal of Conditions 

Feb 2nd 2018: Received NOA1

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