Canadian Processing

[Dualie 185]

Yes the doctor has already told her that he wants her to have a c-section.

She had one for her first and he said that they were doing one this time for sure as well.

She does have a brother and sister but they can't be there all the time. And she has her daughter to take care of as well. It is going to be really hard at the beginning.

I know they are not easy and we are ok with the long distance for now. Just stressful at times. I can visit, hopefully...unless I have issues at the border but I think I have that all handled (proof of ties, etc). The expensive part is the issue. She does not make much money right now (her brother is going to co-sponsor) because the job she works at does not pay well but it gives her the time to take care of her daughter without having to hire help etc (she works in a school). But yeah they don't pay well, especially for what she does. But we think it is best for now and she does want to go back to school to get her teaching certificate. So being already in the school system where she wants to be is good long run. But it means that I am paying for most things. She divorced officially in May of 2014 and they were supposed to sell the house but we decided we want to try and keep it because other living options would be just as much. But right now it is still under her name and her ex since we are not sure if she can refinance with how much she is making and they won't take me into account since I don't have a green card yet...so we might lose the house. And with the Canadian dollar going the way it is, things are only getting more expensive for me when I pay the bills. I have a good job here in Canada and it will continue when I move (they are transferring me to a US office and letting me work from home since we are not near one). But until then I am paying two mortgages, etc. And even with that, might still not keep the house if when she does call they deny here. And honest her ex does the bare minimum. He pays his child support (which is not that much) and doesn't really do more then that, barely sees the daughter, just wants to be on his own. We are fine with that in some sense since we would rather have the daughter anyways...but it sucks sometimes since he has the attitude of he pays what the court says and that is it...doesn't think that if the daughter wants to do more things etc, all that costs money...but anyways...little bit of a rant there...sorry.

Thank you for all the support guys.

Brentos - rant away!

You just sound frustrated, yet really level-headed and humble;) Excellent Canadian traits;)

I think it's just hard. I usually don't share this stuff in public, but if it helps, I will let you know that we DO understand as most of us also have life things that make this experience extra hard. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma a couple of years ago, and although he's in remission every lump and bump makes my heart ache and wonder if I will be trapped here while he gets sick again. He now needs to get a surgery for another issue (minor) but it needs to be expedited because of the cancer history so he will have to take a couple of weeks off work, which is hard. And I can't be there, because our lawyer insists I should not try to visit. We pay two mortgages, and we are both financially tight. My career may go off-kilter entirely if this drags on too long, and I am giving up a LOT work wise here in Canada to move (including an approximately 40% cut in my pay when I move). So I definitely understand, and I can't say that I haven't had the same thoughts - why can't this go faster for us? (and then I immediately chastise myself for having thoughts like that while other people wait for years).

But we love our partners and you have to hold on when you find that love. So we do. Hang in there and never apologize for being frustrated. And if there is anything you can do to make this go faster, feel free to do it! I personally have seen mostly pregnancy and health related issues for expedite on this board, but I won't comment on this as I would be talking out of my butt if I did.

M

My heart goes out to both of you. It does feel like Canada's close proximity to the US makes the wait even harder sometimes, and when you are faced with difficult life situations such as yours...well, I just don't know what to say. Both of you show classic Canadian traits (to borrow from you, mag2929 ). We are all in this together, and I guess I just needed to tell you both that I admire your courage and perseverance.

[brentos 53]

Brentos - rant away!

You just sound frustrated, yet really level-headed and humble;) Excellent Canadian traits;)

I think it's just hard. I usually don't share this stuff in public, but if it helps, I will let you know that we DO understand as most of us also have life things that make this experience extra hard. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma a couple of years ago, and although he's in remission every lump and bump makes my heart ache and wonder if I will be trapped here while he gets sick again. He now needs to get a surgery for another issue (minor) but it needs to be expedited because of the cancer history so he will have to take a couple of weeks off work, which is hard. And I can't be there, because our lawyer insists I should not try to visit. We pay two mortgages, and we are both financially tight. My career may go off-kilter entirely if this drags on too long, and I am giving up a LOT work wise here in Canada to move (including an approximately 40% cut in my pay when I move). So I definitely understand, and I can't say that I haven't had the same thoughts - why can't this go faster for us? (and then I immediately chastise myself for having thoughts like that while other people wait for years).

But we love our partners and you have to hold on when you find that love. So we do. Hang in there and never apologize for being frustrated. And if there is anything you can do to make this go faster, feel free to do it! I personally have seen mostly pregnancy and health related issues for expedite on this board, but I won't comment on this as I would be talking out of my butt if I did.

M

Thank you for the support, it is very much appreciated. And it sounds like you are going through a lot too. I really wish you both the very best and I hope everything goes well with the surgery.

If you don't mind me asking, why does your lawyer insist you not visit? I going to be going to visit in a little less then a month for the first time since we submitted. From what I have read on here it should be fine as long as I bring proof of ties etc. So just curious why your lawyer doesn't want you to. We are not using a lawyer...hopefully we do everything right haha. We did meet with one in Texas but she didn't seem to know much about Canada so that had me concerned. And she was also fairly pricy. So we decided to push forward on our own.

[mag2929 68]

Thank you for the support, it is very much appreciated. And it sounds like you are going through a lot too. I really wish you both the very best and I hope everything goes well with the surgery.

If you don't mind me asking, why does your lawyer insist you not visit? I going to be going to visit in a little less then a month for the first time since we submitted. From what I have read on here it should be fine as long as I bring proof of ties etc. So just curious why your lawyer doesn't want you to. We are not using a lawyer...hopefully we do everything right haha. We did meet with one in Texas but she didn't seem to know much about Canada so that had me concerned. And she was also fairly pricy. So we decided to push forward on our own.

No problem and thank you.

I have no idea why he insists on what he insists. He has already cost us two months at USCIS (we got an RFE for a certificate of divorce that I ASKED him about and he said the copy that I had should be fine and it wasn't, and I figured an immigration lawyer should know this right?). We are keeping him for now because we are at the end of the process and we paid so much money that I will get whatever work I can from him. Overall, lots of people here visit, but our lawyer has kind of made my husband worried about the border thing, so now he doesn't want me to cross either - he's been visiting instead. And I don't want to worry my husband anymore than he already does. So if it was entirely up to me, I'd try anyways with lots of proof of ties and intent to come back and that's that. Don't worry about it.

[mag2929 68]

My heart goes out to both of you. It does feel like Canada's close proximity to the US makes the wait even harder sometimes, and when you are faced with difficult life situations such as yours...well, I just don't know what to say. Both of you show classic Canadian traits (to borrow from you, mag2929 ). We are all in this together, and I guess I just needed to tell you both that I admire your courage and perseverance.

Thanks Dualie;) Not sure about my courage and perseverance with all my bitching and complaining on this board, but I really appreciate your words!! I am also so so glad for you finally being done with this process.

Best

m

[brentos 53]

No problem and thank you.

I have no idea why he insists on what he insists. He has already cost us two months at USCIS (we got an RFE for a certificate of divorce that I ASKED him about and he said the copy that I had should be fine and it wasn't, and I figured an immigration lawyer should know this right?). We are keeping him for now because we are at the end of the process and we paid so much money that I will get whatever work I can from him. Overall, lots of people here visit, but our lawyer has kind of made my husband worried about the border thing, so now he doesn't want me to cross either - he's been visiting instead. And I don't want to worry my husband anymore than he already does. So if it was entirely up to me, I'd try anyways with lots of proof of ties and intent to come back and that's that. Don't worry about it.

What was wrong with the copy of the divorce certificate? We sent in a copy of my wives divorce certificate. I hope that is okay. Have me worried now haha.

I'm a little worried about crossing but I'm hoping it goes okay. I applied for a nexus card and had my interview and got approved. So just waiting for the card which I hopefully have before my trip. So hopefully that speeds it up a little bit.

[brentos 53]

My heart goes out to both of you. It does feel like Canada's close proximity to the US makes the wait even harder sometimes, and when you are faced with difficult life situations such as yours...well, I just don't know what to say. Both of you show classic Canadian traits (to borrow from you, mag2929 ). We are all in this together, and I guess I just needed to tell you both that I admire your courage and perseverance.

Thank you for the kind words. I hope I have the perciverence. I'm only at the beginning. I'm more worried about my wife as she is going through a lot more then me and sacrificing a lot right now.

[mag2929 68]

What was wrong with the copy of the divorce certificate? We sent in a copy of my wives divorce certificate. I hope that is okay. Have me worried now haha.

I'm a little worried about crossing but I'm hoping it goes okay. I applied for a nexus card and had my interview and got approved. So just waiting for the card which I hopefully have before my trip. So hopefully that speeds it up a little bit.

I dont want to worry you more! it was missing the seal. M

[Shanelle 21]

WOW, M!!, you too are going through an agonizing time with this process, I'm sorry I will pray for you that the rest of this journey goes quickly and all things fall in to place, that your husband's surgery is successful, and that cancer stays in remission. I know don't feel so sorry for myself..........I worry when my husband is slain for 3 days with mirgraines and I want to be there to care for him, but, I will take this vs what you are going through, and, Brent too. Sorry peeps for my kvetching :S

[brentos 53]

I dont want to worry you more! it was missing the seal. M

Haha, don't worry...worry tons already. I think ours had the seal...it was a copy from the court. Mind you she has to go get a new one for me. We had a scan of the original certified copy, but she can't find the original now. But it had the stamp on every page from the County clerk and a page at the end from them certifying it.

Just tough when I can't always be of use because I am not there. I want to help but can't. And she is who I tell everything to...so when we are having issues, I don't have anyone to talk to haha. Not that we have issues, just the stress and everything gets to both of us. Like tonight she is kinda not in a good mood...anyways long story...enough bitching from me!!

I hope your husband is feeling great and that the surgery goes really well!

[mag2929 68]

WOW, M!!, you too are going through an agonizing time with this process, I'm sorry I will pray for you that the rest of this journey goes quickly and all things fall in to place, that your husband's surgery is successful, and that cancer stays in remission. I know don't feel so sorry for myself..........I worry when my husband is slain for 3 days with mirgraines and I want to be there to care for him, but, I will take this vs what you are going through, and, Brent too. Sorry peeps for my kvetching :S

Thank you Shanelle, that's really kind of you. Kvetching lol. Love that expression. Our own worries and stresses always feel like real worries and stresses, and you can't really compare;) They are ours, and they feel stressful to us in that moment and thus they are totally legit. Just knowing that there are people out there that care is good enough for me!! Thanks again for the kind post.

[mag2929 68]

Haha, don't worry...worry tons already. I think ours had the seal...it was a copy from the court. Mind you she has to go get a new one for me. We had a scan of the original certified copy, but she can't find the original now. But it had the stamp on every page from the County clerk and a page at the end from them certifying it.

Just tough when I can't always be of use because I am not there. I want to help but can't. And she is who I tell everything to...so when we are having issues, I don't have anyone to talk to haha. Not that we have issues, just the stress and everything gets to both of us. Like tonight she is kinda not in a good mood...anyways long story...enough bitching from me!!

I hope your husband is feeling great and that the surgery goes really well!

Thank you:) From both of us. My only advice is, don't over think it. When you feel overwhelmed, take a walk or go out with friends or something. Distract yourself. Don't make this your entire life, because it gets overwhelming. And I totally understand you saying "we are having issues" but "not that we have issues" lol. When my husband starts worrying about his own health and he's stressed at work and in his real life, and so am I, it's really hard to have long heart to heart talks, it's just not possible. So you need an outlet for those worries and thoughts and we are part of that outlet. Glad to help! Best, m