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Slightly Confused/ marital issues since CR1

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Country: Mexico
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My husband came into the US last August with a CR1 visa and everything was fine and dandy until a month into him being here. I had always told my husband that it would take awhile for us to get everything into order so that he may find a job in the state in which we live. So a month in half into him being here he decided that he would move to another states in which his brother and sister in law live, which we both agreed to and that I would join him when he had us a place to live. Well in October I got our phone bill which is just under my name and I started seeing this certain number keep popping up as text messages so I questioned him and he said it was a work number. I took it upon myself to call that number and sure enough a woman answered and yes she admitted that they did have a relationship. I entered this marriage because I love him and wanted to build a life togather but now I'm really left wondering if he did. So of course I was PISSED OFF!!! Anyway guys my question is what or how does all this affect the visa process since we basically just lived togather 1 1/12 mths and he has never sent money to help out except once for a car battery, AND yes I have proof that he is seeing someone else although he DENIES everything and that they are JUST friends also the only thing that we have togather is that I added him to my account ( bad move I guess) and that we filed taxes togather??

Thanks guys! and sorry that I'm airing out my dirty laundry :cry::cry:

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: India
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I would say that if they are 'just friends' now, then he wouldn't have kept that a secret from you until you found out on your own. I don't want to say, but I think he's cheating on you.

But before making any decision make sure that the reason of your suspicion is correct. Sometimes our eyes also get cheated.

So sorry for the loss of your time for a person who didn't turn out the way you expected.

I hope you are able to find out the truth quickly.

Edited by ritbiv
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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There seems to be no visa process, he is here?

You signed up for the I 864. Assuming he has a 2 year GC then he would need to file to remove conditions after I presume divorce.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Sweden
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Sorry to hear about what you're going through. After all that time and effort you put into having your husband join you in your country and he does this... :(

From your post, I understand it that you are considering divorce and wondering what that will do to your husband's green card and chances of staying in the US?! If you get divorced before adjusting status, your husband needs to prove to US immigrations that he entered into the marriage in good faith and that it ended due to natural circumstances. In my opinion, moving away from you and cheating on you just one month after entering the US on a spousal visa is NOT gonna look good to US immigrations. Hopefully someone with more knowledge about this topic can give you some more specific information.

Met online October 2010


Engaged December 31st 2011


heart.gifMarried May 14th 2013 heart.gif



USCIS Stage


September 8th 2014 - Filed I-130 with Nebraska Service Center


September 16th 2014 - NOA1 received


March 2nd 2015 - NOA2 received :dancing:



NVC Stage


March 28th 2015 - Choice of agent complete & AOS fee paid


April 17th 2015 - IV fee paid


May 1st 2015 - Sent in IV application


May 12th 2015 - Sent in AOS and IV documents


May 18th 2015 - Scan Date


June 18th 2015 - Checklist received


June 22nd 2015 - Checklist response sent to NVC


June 25th 2015 - Put for Supervisor Review


Sept 15th 2015 - Request help from Texas US Senator Cornyn and his team


Sept 23rd 2015 - Our case is moved from supervisor review to NVC's team for dealing with Senator requests


Nov 4th 2015 - CASE COMPLETE!!!! :dancing:



Embassy Stage


Dec 16th 2015 - Medical exam


Dec 21st 2015 - Interview


Dec 21st 2015 - 221(g) issued at interview for updated forms


Jan 13th 2016 - Mailed our reply to the 221(g) to the US Embassy, received and CEAC updated the next morning


Jan 20th 2016 - Embassy require more in-depth info on asset for i-864


Feb 1st 2016 - Sent more in-depth info on assets as requested. Received the next morning


Feb 16th 2016 - Visa has been issued :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:



In the US


April 5th 2016 - POE Newark. No questions asked.


April 14th 2016 - SSN received


May 10th 2016 - First day at my new job :dancing:


May 27th 2016 - Green Card received


June 7th 2016 - Got my Texas driver's license

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Country: Mexico
Timeline

I would say that if they are 'just friends' now, then he wouldn't have kept that a secret from you until you found out on your own. I don't want to say, but I think he's cheating on you.

But before making any decision make sure that the reason of your suspicion is correct. Sometimes our eyes also get cheated.

So sorry for the loss of your time for a person who didn't turn out the way you expected.

I hope you are able to find out the truth quickly.

Sad part is that I have pictures of them togather being a very nice big happy family

There seems to be no visa process, he is here?

You signed up for the I 864. Assuming he has a 2 year GC then he would need to file to remove conditions after I presume divorce.

I meant removal of conditons sorry for not clarifying that.

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Country: Mexico
Timeline

Sorry to hear about what you're going through. After all that time and effort you put into having your husband join you in your country and he does this... :(

From your post, I understand it that you are considering divorce and wondering what that will do to your husband's green card and chances of staying in the US?! If you get divorced before adjusting status, your husband needs to prove to US immigrations that he entered into the marriage in good faith and that it ended due to natural circumstances. In my opinion, moving away from you and cheating on you just one month after entering the US on a spousal visa is NOT gonna look good to US immigrations. Hopefully someone with more knowledge about this topic can give you some more specific information.

I really don't want to consider divorce because I wasn't brought up that way. But I also don't feel like he should be doing that. I mean we both entered into this marriage in good faith, but on his part its showing me something totally different (sigh)

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Sweden
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You sure he enters marriage in good faith?

If so, he would not have move to his brother's state to work and chatting up another woman so fast.

Entered in August, new affair occurred in Oct, barely 3 months in US.

Normal people would want to spend time together with their spouses after entering US, instead of living separately.

Probably his brother or sister in law knows about it too, only you don't know.

Sorry "Missing-my-amor" but I was also thinking the same. Are you sure your husband entered the marriage in good faith? How long has he been seeing this other woman? Whether you believe in divorce or not, the fact remains that your husband wasn't honest and faithful to you. I mean just the fact that he moved away from you just a month after you were finally able to be apart. I hate to say it but it does kind of sound like he only used you to get a green card. :( I would divorce him and do everything I could to make sure his green card got revoked. Once the divorce is final, make sure to report it to US immigrations so they know that he is no longer married to a USC. Good luck!

Met online October 2010


Engaged December 31st 2011


heart.gifMarried May 14th 2013 heart.gif



USCIS Stage


September 8th 2014 - Filed I-130 with Nebraska Service Center


September 16th 2014 - NOA1 received


March 2nd 2015 - NOA2 received :dancing:



NVC Stage


March 28th 2015 - Choice of agent complete & AOS fee paid


April 17th 2015 - IV fee paid


May 1st 2015 - Sent in IV application


May 12th 2015 - Sent in AOS and IV documents


May 18th 2015 - Scan Date


June 18th 2015 - Checklist received


June 22nd 2015 - Checklist response sent to NVC


June 25th 2015 - Put for Supervisor Review


Sept 15th 2015 - Request help from Texas US Senator Cornyn and his team


Sept 23rd 2015 - Our case is moved from supervisor review to NVC's team for dealing with Senator requests


Nov 4th 2015 - CASE COMPLETE!!!! :dancing:



Embassy Stage


Dec 16th 2015 - Medical exam


Dec 21st 2015 - Interview


Dec 21st 2015 - 221(g) issued at interview for updated forms


Jan 13th 2016 - Mailed our reply to the 221(g) to the US Embassy, received and CEAC updated the next morning


Jan 20th 2016 - Embassy require more in-depth info on asset for i-864


Feb 1st 2016 - Sent more in-depth info on assets as requested. Received the next morning


Feb 16th 2016 - Visa has been issued :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:



In the US


April 5th 2016 - POE Newark. No questions asked.


April 14th 2016 - SSN received


May 10th 2016 - First day at my new job :dancing:


May 27th 2016 - Green Card received


June 7th 2016 - Got my Texas driver's license

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Country: Mexico
Timeline

Sorry "Missing-my-amor" but I was also thinking the same. Are you sure your husband entered the marriage in good faith? How long has he been seeing this other woman? Whether you believe in divorce or not, the fact remains that your husband wasn't honest and faithful to you. I mean just the fact that he moved away from you just a month after you were finally able to be apart. I hate to say it but it does kind of sound like he only used you to get a green card. :( I would divorce him and do everything I could to make sure his green card got revoked. Once the divorce is final, make sure to report it to US immigrations so they know that he is no longer married to a USC. Good luck!

Thanks guys! I wanted to think differently and like I said we both agreed for him to move states so that he could find a job (he couldn't find one here), and like I told him from the beginning I don't want to be lied to, cheated on or used and he has done all 3 so yes I'm still fuming. Oh but get this he still says he wants to build a life togather and what not. :ranting::ranting:

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~~moved to effects of major family changes where it is more appropriate from IR1/CR1 process and procedures~~

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

I really respect your beliefs on marriage, and not wanting to give up, I admire you!

But, this is the USA, and divorce is as common as filing your taxes every year. Very, very common.

From what I have read from you, and him leaving you, "the writing is on the wall" this guy is cheating on you!

This will not stop, and wishful thinking, and giving 2nd chances will never change his ways!

Run, and run fast to a very good attorney, please for your own good, ALL the BAD signs are ""there"", please do not ignore them, or think they will just go away!

"""RUN"""

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Philippines
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You have couple of options:

1.) Accept the fact your husband dates other woman, and accept it.

2.) Close you eyes and pretend all is good.

3.) Divorce

Good Luck in your decision.......

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Filed: Timeline

while I agree with most of what was said above nothing so far has been mentioned about the aspect which was the crux of the question.


Anyway guys my question is what or how does all this affect the visa process since we basically just lived togather 1 1/12 mths and he has never sent money to help out except once for a car battery, AND yes I have proof that he is seeing someone else although he DENIES everything and that they are JUST friends also the only thing that we have togather is that I added him to my account ( bad move I guess) and that we filed taxes togather??

Ok so you clarified- how does this affect the removal of conditions (ROC) not visa, and you also stated -you dont want to consider divorce because of your upbringing. (not sure if its something you will consider in the future or if its totally off the table?) And you are acknowledging his behavior is currently not showing he entered in good faith. " I mean we both entered into this marriage in good faith, but on his part its showing me something totally different (sigh)"

This is honestly one of the most unique questions posed on here because most people when they discover a situation like this automatically separate/file for divorce. Which in this case Mr seems to have arrived in the US in Aug 2014, lived jointly for 1.5 months and is now living elsewhere where you have proof he is in another relationship.

He has no proof of a joint life with you so far except for joint taxes and a joint account. But the joint account would show 1 you are in two different locations if you are both using it, or 2 he is just on it but only you are using it. So it really means nothing in a co-mingling funds kind of way.( A joint account is only good (long distance wise) if you are both depositing and withdrawing money for- well it doesnt have to be equal but Mrs check goes in and Mrs pays some of her bills at her location and then Mrs deposits money and Mr uses some of it at his location etc etc.) I dont think you are in either one of those situations so Im going to say the joint account is pretty worthless as proof.

So whats going to happen? Well like I said most people file for divorce/separate and it leaves the alien in the position of having to file for ROC on their own with whatever evidence they have. He obviously has very little. He would have a very hard time getting approved. Your choices at that point would be 1 to do nothing- not get involved at all. 2 submit evidence against him to USCIS showing his cheating, perhaps a statement of his behavior, a timeline of the relationship breaking down, basically work against him getting his conditions lifted, or 3 attempt to help him get his conditions lifted even though you are separated/divorced/divorcing by writing him a positive letter to include in his packet and providing him with your cell phone bills showing calls made to and from your numbers, explain why you lived apart and why the marriage just didnt work out.

Its a personal choice everyone who is divorcing and their partner is ROC'ing has to make. No one should judge you for the route you choose.

Since you are not choosing to divorce or separate- well my dear time is going tick by on his ROC clock. If he got his card in AUG of 14 He should be ROC'ing in AUG of 16. You can submit your forms 90 days prior- so if Im calculating right thats June of 16.

Somethings gotta give by then.- Possible scenarios if you stay married. First you will have to file a joint petition. No way around it if you are still married (unless he claims you are abusive to him and wont sign off on it- or HE files for divorce from you?) But if the joint petition is filed:

-You will need evidence to submit. You can look through the ROC forum/threads to see whats common evidence used- but I think you already have an idea. Sending in poor evidence will result in an interview you both will have to attend. If you are still living apart in June or dont start living together soon- youll probably get selected for an interview. Youll have to be honest in your interview. You already stated here you have doubts about his behavior. You believed at the time he entered in good faith but now hes making you doubt that.

Honestly, telling something like that to the officer interviewing you... I just dont know. They will look at everything you have, speak with him, and make their own determination. It is quite odd for someone to have doubts and remain but explainable by the fact that they have strong religious beliefs. Its also explainable that they are possibly committing fraud to help the person keep their GC but odd that they would admit to the doubts so easily.

-You could work hard to create more evidence as currently there is very little. But really this is not YOUR problem. This is HIS problem and honestly he does not seem to be too concerned about it as HE IS NOT POSTING HERE, but you are. He is more concerned about the new girl in his life and gallivanting around town with his brother living it up then his marital responsibilities and his GC.

So again, I repeat you do not want to file for divorce but he may. You should prepare for that. I find it highly unlikely (and Im really sorry to say this) but if he set himself up in his brothers area as 'available' or made friends and forged relationships with people with out you- people that dont know you, dont even know you exist. That hes with a girl there. He really has no interest in getting a place for the two of you there. How awkward would that be? Oh by the way this is my wife (?!?!) Really? Since when? Werent you dating so and so? Ive known you for months never knew you had a wife! You say you have pictures so Im assuming you mean of him, her and the brother/wife. So they all know and nobody is stopping it. Its completely disrespectful and I dont know how you could even consider moving there and looking the brother or the wife in the eye knowing they supported your husbands infidelity.

Of course your husband is going to say he still wants to build a life with you. What do you expect him to say? Cheaters are cowards and liars. It takes a lot of guts to say to someone that its over, that you want to move on with out them, that you just dont love them anymore. Actions are more important then words. You obviously knew something was wrong because you were looking through your bill and called a strange number on it. So you had a suspicion. If your husband meant what he said about rebuilding a life with you he would be driving back as we speak and begging forgiveness and applying at any and every job from janitor to burger flipper to car wash attendant to make some cash to be close to you.

Best of luck to you moving forward.

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while I agree with most of what was said above nothing so far has been mentioned about the aspect which was the crux of the question.

Anyway guys my question is what or how does all this affect the visa process since we basically just lived togather 1 1/12 mths and he has never sent money to help out except once for a car battery, AND yes I have proof that he is seeing someone else although he DENIES everything and that they are JUST friends also the only thing that we have togather is that I added him to my account ( bad move I guess) and that we filed taxes togather??

Ok so you clarified- how does this affect the removal of conditions (ROC) not visa, and you also stated -you dont want to consider divorce because of your upbringing. (not sure if its something you will consider in the future or if its totally off the table?) And you are acknowledging his behavior is currently not showing he entered in good faith. " I mean we both entered into this marriage in good faith, but on his part its showing me something totally different (sigh)"

This is honestly one of the most unique questions posed on here because most people when they discover a situation like this automatically separate/file for divorce. Which in this case Mr seems to have arrived in the US in Aug 2014, lived jointly for 1.5 months and is now living elsewhere where you have proof he is in another relationship.

He has no proof of a joint life with you so far except for joint taxes and a joint account. But the joint account would show 1 you are in two different locations if you are both using it, or 2 he is just on it but only you are using it. So it really means nothing in a co-mingling funds kind of way.( A joint account is only good (long distance wise) if you are both depositing and withdrawing money for- well it doesnt have to be equal but Mrs check goes in and Mrs pays some of her bills at her location and then Mrs deposits money and Mr uses some of it at his location etc etc.) I dont think you are in either one of those situations so Im going to say the joint account is pretty worthless as proof.

So whats going to happen? Well like I said most people file for divorce/separate and it leaves the alien in the position of having to file for ROC on their own with whatever evidence they have. He obviously has very little. He would have a very hard time getting approved. Your choices at that point would be 1 to do nothing- not get involved at all. 2 submit evidence against him to USCIS showing his cheating, perhaps a statement of his behavior, a timeline of the relationship breaking down, basically work against him getting his conditions lifted, or 3 attempt to help him get his conditions lifted even though you are separated/divorced/divorcing by writing him a positive letter to include in his packet and providing him with your cell phone bills showing calls made to and from your numbers, explain why you lived apart and why the marriage just didnt work out.

Its a personal choice everyone who is divorcing and their partner is ROC'ing has to make. No one should judge you for the route you choose.

Since you are not choosing to divorce or separate- well my dear time is going tick by on his ROC clock. If he got his card in AUG of 14 He should be ROC'ing in AUG of 16. You can submit your forms 90 days prior- so if Im calculating right thats June of 16.

Somethings gotta give by then.- Possible scenarios if you stay married. First you will have to file a joint petition. No way around it if you are still married (unless he claims you are abusive to him and wont sign off on it- or HE files for divorce from you?) But if the joint petition is filed:

-You will need evidence to submit. You can look through the ROC forum/threads to see whats common evidence used- but I think you already have an idea. Sending in poor evidence will result in an interview you both will have to attend. If you are still living apart in June or dont start living together soon- youll probably get selected for an interview. Youll have to be honest in your interview. You already stated here you have doubts about his behavior. You believed at the time he entered in good faith but now hes making you doubt that.

Honestly, telling something like that to the officer interviewing you... I just dont know. They will look at everything you have, speak with him, and make their own determination. It is quite odd for someone to have doubts and remain but explainable by the fact that they have strong religious beliefs. Its also explainable that they are possibly committing fraud to help the person keep their GC but odd that they would admit to the doubts so easily.

-You could work hard to create more evidence as currently there is very little. But really this is not YOUR problem. This is HIS problem and honestly he does not seem to be too concerned about it as HE IS NOT POSTING HERE, but you are. He is more concerned about the new girl in his life and gallivanting around town with his brother living it up then his marital responsibilities and his GC.

So again, I repeat you do not want to file for divorce but he may. You should prepare for that. I find it highly unlikely (and Im really sorry to say this) but if he set himself up in his brothers area as 'available' or made friends and forged relationships with people with out you- people that dont know you, dont even know you exist. That hes with a girl there. He really has no interest in getting a place for the two of you there. How awkward would that be? Oh by the way this is my wife (?!?!) Really? Since when? Werent you dating so and so? Ive known you for months never knew you had a wife! You say you have pictures so Im assuming you mean of him, her and the brother/wife. So they all know and nobody is stopping it. Its completely disrespectful and I dont know how you could even consider moving there and looking the brother or the wife in the eye knowing they supported your husbands infidelity.

Of course your husband is going to say he still wants to build a life with you. What do you expect him to say? Cheaters are cowards and liars. It takes a lot of guts to say to someone that its over, that you want to move on with out them, that you just dont love them anymore. Actions are more important then words. You obviously knew something was wrong because you were looking through your bill and called a strange number on it. So you had a suspicion. If your husband meant what he said about rebuilding a life with you he would be driving back as we speak and begging forgiveness and applying at any and every job from janitor to burger flipper to car wash attendant to make some cash to be close to you.

Best of luck to you moving forward.

Perfect post.

Edit: Especially the 2nd to last paragraph. He's been carefully crafting a life away from you. He's been quite dubiously busy in his absence.

Edited by Marco&Bettina

ROC Timeline!

Service Center : California Service Center

NOA2017-09-01

Biometrics : 2017-09-28

ROC Approved 2019-01-17

 

AOS Timeline!

Marriage : 2015-01-10

AOS/EAD/AP NOA : 2015-01-20

Biometrics : 2015-02-17

EAD/AP Approved : 2015-03-17

NPIW : 2015-06-11

AOS Approved : 2015-11-24

 

K-1 Visa Timeline!

Service Center : Texas Service Center

Transferred? No

Consulate : Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F NOA1 : 2014-03-11

I-129F NOA2 : 2014-08-12

Consulate Received : 2014-09-15

Interview Date : 2014-11-13

Interview Result : Approved

Visa Received : 2014-11-15

US Entry : 2014-12-31

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline

DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH THIS MAN.. Call ICE as soon as possible and tell them what you are saying here.....www.ICE.gov 1-866-347-2423 Good luck !!

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