CR1 spouse left the US, don't want him to come back

[bitterbeans 0]

Hi- my husband has a conditional green card. He recently left to visit his home country for a month and I have discovered he has been seriously dishonest with me about several significant matters as well as possibly unfaithful and/or has behaved highly inappropriately at best. Not at all like who I believed he was.. whole standard trope you read about on here all the time. Anyway, I'd like to cut this loose before he tries to re-enter and I end up on the hook for 10 years on the affidavit of support. Can I withdraw the I 864 since he's out of the country right now? Do I have to file for divorce first? We have no joint assets and only married for a year.

[Hypnos 6,576]

That's not possible since he already has a green card. All you can do is divorce him and move on; the affidavit of support will remain in effect.

Edited September 22, 2014 by Hypnos

[bitterbeans 0]

That's not possible since he already has a green card. All you can do is divorce him and move on; the affidavit of support will remain in effect.

He left the US.. he is outside of the country. And it is a conditional green card. What praytell then are the conditions?

Edited September 22, 2014 by bitterbeans

[Hypnos 6,576]

Presuming you mean under what conditions the affidavit of support will end at, not until one of the following occurs:

(i) He dies.

(ii) You die.

(iii) He becomes a US citizen.

(iv) He ceases to be an LPR (i.e. his green card is invalidated by an immigration judge or he voluntarily surrenders it).

(v) He can be credited with forty quarters of work by the Social Security Administration (i.e. if he works full time then he would reach this in ten years).

If you mean what is the "conditional" part of his conditional green card, he can file for Removal of Conditions at the designated time without you, provided he can establish that he entered the marriage in good faith, even if it ended in divorce.

Edited September 22, 2014 by Hypnos

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

He has to file removal of conditions at the end of 2 years and show either that you still have a bonafide marriage or that you 2 married in good faith and he is divorced. Unless you have hard proof that he deceived you to get a green card he will follow the second path and you are still on the hook. If he stays out more than a year and doesn't have a prior permission then he has abandoned his card

[bitterbeans 0]

So then if he returns to the US and, at the appropriate time,files for removal of conditions by himself on a divorce waiver, the burden of proof is upon him to establish that he entered the marriage in good faith, correct? I assume that requires at least some evidence of a shared life or co-mingling of assets, of which we have absolutely none. It turns out that even his own family does not know he's married (as I also discovered... little awkward!)

I think he'd be hard-pressed to establish proof, I mean all this taken together. In which case, would not his LPR status cease if he cannot prove good faith?

[NancyNguyen 1,657]

It's a lengthy process, it takes years at immigration court. And it is his problem. You don't have to worry about it. Move on with your life is all you can do.

[Husakovic 31]

I'm sorry you are going through this ! But karma is a bi*ch and it will bite him in the a$$! So don't worry! The right man will come along....and one that you won't have to Skype with for a year....

[bitterbeans 0]

I'm sorry you are going through this ! But karma is a bi*ch and it will bite him in the a$$! So don't worry! The right man will come along....and one that you won't have to Skype with for a year....

Oh, yeah.. it's not the outcome anyone ever hopes for in this journey, but it's not the end of the world. As I calm down a bit now, I feel less panicked about the affidavit the more I read up on it (better late than never) I know the obligations are real and are enforced when necessary, but if there's one good thing I can say about the guy it's that he was exceptionally hardworking and managed his money well. He never asked me for anything ever in all this time we've known each other. The divorce I foresee as imminent, then I'll just get on with it in the rest of life. He was splendid company while it lasted, and I don't regret having known him (only marrying him)

Edited September 22, 2014 by bitterbeans

[Ian H. 207]

In order to get divorced you have to have him served. Is he still out of the US? It's harder to serve someone outside of the US, at least depending on the state.

The good thing is that many states now a days offer no fault divorce and if he decides not to sign you can still get divorced fairly easily as long as he doesn't contest it.

Unfortunately, as previously mentioned divorce doesn't end the affidavit of support, if only it were so. I have seen many people on here in the same situation.

The best that you can hope for is that he stays outside of the US for more than a year without a reentry permit so that he is considered to have abandoned his LPR status. Or that he is denied ROC for lack of bona fide marital evidence.

[Jawaree 717]

I say don't be bitter, file for a divorce

(if all U believe or have found out is true)

and move on hoping he will file for naturalization

as soon as he qualifies

[zinger143 3]

I was able to file for an annulment based on the fact that I believed he deceived me and only married me to get the visa. He also traveled outside the country and they posted it in the newspaper and that served as his notice since I didn’t have any idea where he was in his home country. Then after being posted (for 60 or 90 days) they could proceed (provided he doesn’t respond, which he can’t do if he’s not in the country). Now if you know an address for him, you would have to internationally serve him papers with a receipt confirmation. If you don’t know an address, and if as you say he’s lied to you and been deceitful, you should be able to post notice in the newspaper and have that serve as your notice. I had a lawyer who was very supportive and while it took awhile because we had to wait for it to be posted for the right amount of days, I got the marriage annulled. Now, I don’t know your state’s laws about annulment and how many days you have, but when I was looking the divorce route the process was the same, we would have posted in the newspaper and waited before filing as well. You can’t do abandonment because that requires showing he left you much longer, so you just do a simple divorce.

Is he planning on coming back in the US? My situation was a little different because he traveled before his green card and the situation was extremely complicated so he couldn’t get back into the US without a ton of extra paperwork, and I was lied to and felt very deceived as well, and with a lot of financial and emotional troubles I was just done. 9 years down the road, we ended up reuniting, but that was after a very long journey and lessons learned on both sides. He never wanted the annulment, but I was able to move forward by posting it in the newspaper and moving on. I don’t regret taking the break and moving on with my life. So if you don’t know when he plans on returning and just want to be done, get a lawyer, look at your state’s laws about posting notification (normally it’s just for your area or the US) and see what you can do. One piece of advice, go with a reputable lawyer, get a detailed list of what their retainer fee will cover and a list of what situations could increase that retainer and by how much. I went the divorce route first because my first lawyer said I couldn’t do the annulment (divorce costs more). I paid the retainer, she swindled me, and I ended up with nothing after waiting the 90 days to post and spending all that money. I then got the second lawyer who was much better and helped me with the annulment, but I had to wait AGAIN to post the new notification and pay that retainer. When you’re already emotionally distressed dealing with lawyer drama is the last thing you want to deal with. So do your research, get a good lawyer, make sure you have a written document of what their retainer will cover and what they will charge for. For example, the first lawyer charged me for listening to a voice mail, transcribing her notes of the voicemail, writing me the letter in response to my voicemail, and doing a follow up call to make sure I got the letter. Ridiculous right?! But legally ok to do. She also charged me at the courthouse the second she walked in the door, from the time she was waiting in the lobby to go through security to the time she left. My second lawyer I was much clearer and she only charged if we talked more than 15 minutes and only charged me the actual time she was in the courtroom for my case presenting, not the downtime in the lobby and waiting. Those things make a big difference when you pay them by the hour, so learn from my mistake and do your homework on how your lawyer charges!

If I haven’t said this already, sorry this happened to you, hopefully something I said will help your situation!

Edited September 23, 2014 by zinger143