Moving to the U.S. : How was it for you?

[deleteddd 35]

I was just wondering, how did was the moving to the U.S. for you?

How long after your arrival did you get married?

What kind of wedding/ceremony did you have?

How long did/does it take you for the AOS?

Do you work, go to school, ... ?

... .... ...

What are the things you wished one had told you before or helped you with?

The days before you left for the U.S., your flight/trip, your first weeks, months, ...

I just want to know about other people's experiences. Thank you !!

[Tracey&Greg 33]

I'll type for my hubby

He sent all that he owned (clothes, comic books, video games ect) through a shipping company before his interview so he didn't have to pack much when he traveled.

He arrived September 26th 2013 and soon after his parents arrived a couple days later and we got married on October 3rd. We wanted to get married closest to our engagement date. We had a court house wedding because we are both not religious. It was a great day and a wonderful night because we had a reception with my closest friends.

AOS took a while but the EAD came quickly so he started applying as soon as he got it. It didn't feel like the AOS took so long because during that time we took a lot of trips on the weekends and always tried to keep ourselves busy.

He does work now and happily doing so. Even got promoted recently (woohoo)

In all honesty I met great people from this site who helped me with my stress moments but what got me through it was knowing with great patients, love and dedication we can overcome anything. Because of our journey to get his visa we have a strong, loving marriage. I took for granted the feel of a hug and holding hands with him being away so long and now I do it every chance I get heehee.

But this is just bits of our journey. Hang in there and feel free to ask anything if you need help or a pick me up.

Edited August 1, 2014 by Tracey&Greg

[NikLR 13,220]

~~moved to moving here and your new life in the USA from AOS family based progress reports as topic can relate to mulitple visa types and isn't a progress report~~

[nobbie 105]

Got married 3 weeks after arrival

Did two weddings, first one in a park with a few of her family, did that for the AoS process, then did bigger family and friends one 6 months later.

AoS has taken 9 months.

I work abroad mostly in Europe so getting EAD/AP was important to me.

I wish people had told me how expensive stuff was in the US compared to UK, housing, medical, bread, cheese, beer.

[Lights 56]

Got married 3 weeks after arrival

Did two weddings, first one in a park with a few of her family, did that for the AoS process, then did bigger family and friends one 6 months later.

AoS has taken 9 months.

I work abroad mostly in Europe so getting EAD/AP was important to me.

I wish people had told me how expensive stuff was in the US compared to UK, housing, medical, bread, cheese, beer.

Similar experience here.

We're having 2 weddings. First one was a day after my arrival... we had our immediate family and best friends to sign as witnesses. It was perfect.

Started our AOS process within a week... We are july filers (POE in late June) and still waiting on EAD/AP and GC.

In terms of cost... it's much cheaper here then in Canada in terms of some food, housing and liquor. But medical is slightly different but my husband has a good job and the company has great benefits.

[deleteddd 35]

I'll type for my hubby

He sent all that he owned (clothes, comic books, video games ect) through a shipping company before his interview so he didn't have to pack much when he traveled.

He arrived September 26th 2013 and soon after his parents arrived a couple days later and we got married on October 3rd. We wanted to get married closest to our engagement date. We had a court house wedding because we are both not religious. It was a great day and a wonderful night because we had a reception with my closest friends.

AOS took a while but the EAD came quickly so he started applying as soon as he got it. It didn't feel like the AOS took so long because during that time we took a lot of trips on the weekends and always tried to keep ourselves busy.

He does work now and happily doing so. Even got promoted recently (woohoo)

In all honesty I met great people from this site who helped me with my stress moments but what got me through it was knowing with great patients, love and dedication we can overcome anything. Because of our journey to get his visa we have a strong, loving marriage. I took for granted the feel of a hug and holding hands with him being away so long and now I do it every chance I get heehee.

But this is just bits of our journey. Hang in there and feel free to ask anything if you need help or a pick me up.

It's nice to read about couple who are happy and succeeded from long distance relationship to close one

I totally looove your storyyy :D

I have been looking into shipping my bags before too but I haven't found anything cheaper than with the plane lol

[deleteddd 35]

Got married 3 weeks after arrival

Did two weddings, first one in a park with a few of her family, did that for the AoS process, then did bigger family and friends one 6 months later.

AoS has taken 9 months.

I work abroad mostly in Europe so getting EAD/AP was important to me.

I wish people had told me how expensive stuff was in the US compared to UK, housing, medical, bread, cheese, beer.

You are a lot between both continents I like that !

[Tina and Johan 206]

Johan arrived July 25th and we got married the following Monday. Our AOS process began within a week. We're also having a wedding/reception in October with family and friends from here and abroad. He's already been approached by a potential employer, so he's anxious to get his EAD. We're planning to try for an expedite after they formally meet next week.

He also brought his 10-year old son, so school starting soon will be a very good thing for him.

As far as shipping stuff, he used basic mailing. He sold and gave away a bunch of stuff first. We're still very new to living together, and there's been some adjustment, but it's going pretty well.

[landr 126]

I got here about two weeks ago. Not married yet. We're planning a courthouse wedding for a couple of weeks' time. It'll be just the two of us. I've already started filling in the paperwork for AOS/EAD/AP. Unfortunately, the estimated wait is 6-8 weeks for the marriage certificate in our wedding location. I don't know if I have the energy to have a separate wedding reception for family in the UK. Already applied for an SSN, which should be here in the next week or so. Had set up a US bank account while I was in the UK but have had so many problems with them that I'm probably going to close it and open an account in-person with a different institution over here.

I've stayed with my fiance for up to 5 weeks at a time during previous visits, so living together hasn't been a massive adjustment. What has been a big adjustment is dealing with his family, who now view our relationship in a different light. With a few people, the gloves have come off a bit. I'm also missing my family in the UK. Even though I didn't visit them that much, it would have been very easy to buy an affordable ticket and get to them the same day or next day. Now that's going to be much harder.

It's also weird getting used to the fact that we never have to leave each other again. We don't get a "hump" day where it's the middle of the visit and we're counting down to the day one of us has to leave.

My fiance has been very accommodating in sharing his space with me, including a home office and closet space - we're currently living with his mom while we look/save for a place of our own, so there's not a lot of space to being with. That said, I haven't unpacked completely and have been wearing clothes I'd either bought or left behind in the US from previous visits. As we'll be moving out in a couple of months, it just makes more sense to leave most things packed.

The downside is that it has been hard adjusting emotionally. It was quite traumatic throwing away a lot of my possessions because I didn't want to pay for the shipping and then have to put them into storage at the other end. I also left a place where I'd lived the longest for my entire life. And trying to find a new routine in the US has been quite hard.

My advice is to take it easy just before and after the move. Try to make things comfortable and familiar in your new place. Talk to your fiance(e) about making a space for you and your things so that you have a corner that's your own, where you can retreat to, if needed. Scout out the local culture and cuisine and find places that you like. See if you can find a way to buy the food that you are used to, either online or locally. Spending time with other expats from your country can also help - there might be a local Meetup group for "new in town," which you can join. Doing everything new as well as making the move can be quite a shock to the system and therefore I believe it's best to introduce changes to the flow of your life gradually. Take baby steps, if you will.

TLDR: Moving to the US is a major step and you shouldn't underestimate both the financial and emotional toll that it might have on you. Some people might be able to take to their new life in the US like a "duck to water," but for some, it will take a bit longer to adjust. It's not just about the paperwork, it's about everything else as well, some of which, is intangible.

[elle13 15]

@landr, I moved from the UK to California too. It was a massive adjustment. I don't know about you but I moved to LA and hate that it's sooooo dry and dusty here! I miss lush greenery (sounds so stupid I know).

The first few months drove me stir-crazy. Now that I'm a lot more confident with driving, it's improved a lot. Personally, the few things that really helped get me settled were:

- Learning to drive confidently

- Finding a job

- Mentally accepting that "this is it".

The last part was the hardest. Sometimes I thought about moving back to England. I missed my family and friends. My husband and I get along but we are culturally very different. While his family has been very accommodating, we have very little in common. Building a network of friends from scratch is daunting and depressing at times, but on the whole, I'm still blessed to be with the love of my life!

[landr 126]

@landr, I moved from the UK to California too. It was a massive adjustment. I don't know about you but I moved to LA and hate that it's sooooo dry and dusty here! I miss lush greenery (sounds so stupid I know).

The first few months drove me stir-crazy. Now that I'm a lot more confident with driving, it's improved a lot. Personally, the few things that really helped get me settled were:

- Learning to drive confidently

- Finding a job

- Mentally accepting that "this is it".

The last part was the hardest. Sometimes I thought about moving back to England. I missed my family and friends. My husband and I get along but we are culturally very different. While his family has been very accommodating, we have very little in common. Building a network of friends from scratch is daunting and depressing at times, but on the whole, I'm still blessed to be with the love of my life!

I'm about an hour or two from LA. Yes, the dryness and heat are quite something. But I also spent some time in Barstow (High Desert) during previous visits and it is much worse there than my current location. That said, I'm totally with you about missing lush greenery and I've been quite glad that it's been a bit rainy and overcast over the last week or so.

I don't drive. Even though I really need to learn, I'm still putting it off. Put if off for decades in the UK. But could get away with it because I lived in London and had easier access to public transport. Might have to just get on with it and get my licence.

I'm lucky in that my career path is highly suited to home working, being able to drive might not be as important as it might be for some, but it's all up in the air at the moment as I don't have a job yet and haven't submitted the forms for EAD. I've signed up to a few job newsletters just to see what's out there. There are already quite a few positions that could be a good fit - it's on my to-do list to Americanize my LinkedIn profile and resume. Though I will probably go for the employment agency route rather than apply directly.

Yes, I really think you've hit the nail on the head with your third point. For previous visits, one can cultivate a holiday-like feeling and behave accordingly. But this isn't a visit and we're making a life together and trying to create something permanent.

Thankfully, despite having grown up in different countries and followed different life paths, my fiance and I are fairly similar in a lot of ways culturally. So much so that we can laugh and joke about the nuances. That said, I'm currently going through the "growing pains" with his family and there are many days where I'm just itching for us to move out so that we can really start making a go of it.

[elle13 15]

I know what you mean! I never drove in the UK. Took the tube/bus/cab everywhere. Learning to drive was incredibly scary for me so I know exactly what you mean. Trust me you will gain so much independence here by learning to drive (you're in california!). If you're living in SoCal, you must must must learn to drive. If it makes you feel any better, I lived here a whole 6 months without learning to drive before sucking it up and getting my learner's permit. My husband taught me how to drive. So yes, it took me a whole 6 months to muster the courage.

I'm about an hour or two from LA. Yes, the dryness and heat are quite something. But I also spent some time in Barstow (High Desert) during previous visits and it is much worse there than my current location. That said, I'm totally with you about missing lush greenery and I've been quite glad that it's been a bit rainy and overcast over the last week or so.

I don't drive. Even though I really need to learn, I'm still putting it off. Put if off for decades in the UK. But could get away with it because I lived in London and had easier access to public transport. Might have to just get on with it and get my licence.

I'm lucky in that my career path is highly suited to home working, being able to drive might not be as important as it might be for some, but it's all up in the air at the moment as I don't have a job yet and haven't submitted the forms for EAD. I've signed up to a few job newsletters just to see what's out there. There are already quite a few positions that could be a good fit - it's on my to-do list to Americanize my LinkedIn profile and resume. Though I will probably go for the employment agency route rather than apply directly.

Yes, I really think you've hit the nail on the head with your third point. For previous visits, one can cultivate a holiday-like feeling and behave accordingly. But this isn't a visit and we're making a life together and trying to create something permanent.

Thankfully, despite having grown up in different countries and followed different life paths, my fiance and I are fairly similar in a lot of ways culturally. So much so that we can laugh and joke about the nuances. That said, I'm currently going through the "growing pains" with his family and there are many days where I'm just itching for us to move out so that we can really start making a go of it.

[sweetswinks 400]

@landr, I moved from the UK to California too. It was a massive adjustment. I don't know about you but I moved to LA and hate that it's sooooo dry and dusty here! I miss lush greenery (sounds so stupid I know).

The first few months drove me stir-crazy. Now that I'm a lot more confident with driving, it's improved a lot. Personally, the few things that really helped get me settled were:

- Learning to drive confidently

- Finding a job

- Mentally accepting that "this is it".

The last part was the hardest. Sometimes I thought about moving back to England. I missed my family and friends. My husband and I get along but we are culturally very different. While his family has been very accommodating, we have very little in common. Building a network of friends from scratch is daunting and depressing at times, but on the whole, I'm still blessed to be with the love of my life!

I haven't needed a car at all here in Sydney. I know how to operate a vehicle I got my learner licence last year but i know everything except how to reverse and parallel park. I am wondering how long it'll take for me to learn that?! I want to get my licence as soon as I can.

[CowBoE 429]

Got married 3 weeks after arrival

Did two weddings, first one in a park with a few of her family, did that for the AoS process, then did bigger family and friends one 6 months later.

AoS has taken 9 months.

I work abroad mostly in Europe so getting EAD/AP was important to me.

I wish people had told me how expensive stuff was in the US compared to UK, housing, medical, bread, cheese, beer.

Healthcare and higher education (in good schools) costs in US has been mostly out of control.

But whenever I traveled to UK, I found UK to be more expensive than US,

but I think that is because I live in suburbs in US, and I mostly travel to big cities in UK.

[CowBoE 429]

I haven't needed a car at all here in Sydney. I know how to operate a vehicle I got my learner licence last year but i know everything except how to reverse and parallel park. I am wondering how long it'll take for me to learn that?! I want to get my licence as soon as I can.

Just takes repeated practice to parallel park in tight space. Shouldn't take long...

The worst part is if there are cars backed up behind you waiting for you to park

and that can make it bit nerve wrecking when you are not skilled to pull it off quick

and they are watching you the whole time.

But your biggest confusion will be to (finally ) drive the car from the "correct" side.