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Offline Relationships

#1 duraaraa

duraaraa

    The Village Idiot



Posted 12 March 2013 - 03:40 PM

I just wanted to start a topic to talk about something which kind of makes me scratch my head. My relationship with my fiancee is, actually, totally off-line. We met when I lived in her country and lived together there. We communicate on the phone, and she doesn't have internet access.

Looking at most of the others in the K-1 process, I wonder if it will be considered strange or suspicious that I don't have mountains of chat logs. Of course, I can prove that I called her on the phone, and how long we talked, and even how much I talk to her kids. I can even prove that I called her when I lived in Mongolia, because she has my phone logs from when I lived there. However, because it is not written correspondence, I can't prove the actual contents of our conversations.

I guess in the modern day, it's a lot more common for an American to meet his/her fiance/e online than offline. I wonder if having met online or offline matters in any way, and if it is a problem, or even a red flag, that we don't have online correspondence records.

Anyone else in a similar situation, with no emails, no chat logs, and a relationship formed off-line? How did it go at the interview? Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?

Edited by duraaraa, 12 March 2013 - 03:46 PM.

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What would Xenu do?


#2 wilfon

wilfon

    Gold Member

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Posted 12 March 2013 - 03:50 PM

I just wanted to start a topic to talk about something which kind of makes me scratch my head. My relationship with my fiancee is, actually, totally off-line. We met when I lived in her country and lived together there. We communicate on the phone, and she doesn't have internet access.

Looking at most of the others in the K-1 process, I wonder if it will be considered strange or suspicious that I don't have mountains of chat logs. Of course, I can prove that I called her on the phone, and how long we talked, and even how much I talk to her kids. I can even prove that I called her when I lived in Mongolia, because she has my phone logs from when I lived there. However, because it is not written correspondence, I can't prove the actual contents of our conversations.

I guess in the modern day, it's a lot more common for an American to meet his/her fiance/e online than offline. I wonder if having met online or offline matters in any way, and if it is a problem, or even a red flag, that we don't have online correspondence records.

Anyone else in a similar situation, with no emails, no chat logs, and a relationship formed off-line? How did it go at the interview? Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?



The most important things are that you two have met within 2 years of your filing of your petition and that you are both free to marry before you filed your petition. I would definitely start sending emails, letters, skyping, yahoo or something that has a timestamp on it. Good luck to you guys :thumbs:
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I Looooooove my baby Lyn.

#3 baron555

baron555

    Super Star Member



Posted 12 March 2013 - 03:51 PM

Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?




Answer this question first: "How will I prove to a total stranger, the Embassy CO, that I have a legitimate relationship?"


You word is not enough. You will have to provide evidence. If you do not have evidence, then you should/MUST start to purposefully generate different evidences....so that when all put together, you can prove to a stranger that you have a relationship.


Yes, I'd say it's a red flag, no proof, no visa (maybe).
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Phil (Lockport, near Chicago) and Alla (Lobnya, near Moscow)

As of Dec 7, 2009, now Zero miles apart (literally)!

#4 GandD

GandD

    Win Some/Lose Some



Posted 12 March 2013 - 04:10 PM

Do you have photos of you together within the last two years?
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#5 Gary and Alla

Gary and Alla

    Я вижу тебя



Posted 12 March 2013 - 04:11 PM

I just wanted to start a topic to talk about something which kind of makes me scratch my head. My relationship with my fiancee is, actually, totally off-line. We met when I lived in her country and lived together there. We communicate on the phone, and she doesn't have internet access.

Looking at most of the others in the K-1 process, I wonder if it will be considered strange or suspicious that I don't have mountains of chat logs. Of course, I can prove that I called her on the phone, and how long we talked, and even how much I talk to her kids. I can even prove that I called her when I lived in Mongolia, because she has my phone logs from when I lived there. However, because it is not written correspondence, I can't prove the actual contents of our conversations.

I guess in the modern day, it's a lot more common for an American to meet his/her fiance/e online than offline. I wonder if having met online or offline matters in any way, and if it is a problem, or even a red flag, that we don't have online correspondence records.

Anyone else in a similar situation, with no emails, no chat logs, and a relationship formed off-line? How did it go at the interview? Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?


We met by chance in an airport in a country neither of us live in with no intent of meeting anyone. We communicated by email and by telephone, no skype, no texts. We both had busy lives are were rarely both at a computer at the same time, but we had cell phones and could call anytime. I visited Alla in Ukraine 6 times during the 6 months our case was in process.

We used our travel evidence, email logs and few emails, some photos and a phone log as evidence. No questions asked. FWIW they looked at four photos and nothing else.

If you use a long distance calling card there are some that produce call logs. We used the "Continental Card" by Penny-Boss. We still use it to call friends and MIL in Ukraine. We have yet to find a cheaper way to call Ukraine
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VERMONT!  I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla


#6 Sarah Elle-M瘱e

Sarah Elle-M瘱e

    let freedumb ring

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Posted 12 March 2013 - 04:12 PM

First off I'd say it's not more common that Americans meet their spouses online than offline. But it doesn't matter how you met. Your issue is that you may not have a lot of supporting documents/evidence of your relationship when it comes time for the interview. If internet communication is off the table then you need to start saving all phone records, send letters or care packages to each other (this is a good idea), and if you can afford it take more trips to see her and take lots of photos. As Baron555 said, the task is to convince a total stranger that you have a legitimate relationship.
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"If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello."

- Paulo Coelho


#7 Gary and Alla

Gary and Alla

    Я вижу тебя



Posted 12 March 2013 - 04:16 PM

Answer this question first: "How will I prove to a total stranger, the Embassy CO, that I have a legitimate relationship?"


You word is not enough. You will have to provide evidence. If you do not have evidence, then you should/MUST start to purposefully generate different evidences....so that when all put together, you can prove to a stranger that you have a relationship.


Yes, I'd say it's a red flag, no proof, no visa (maybe).



Good advice. It is not a normal relationship, until they get citizenship, and you have to keep evidence. For most of our relationship before marriage, Alla got internet access where she could...internet clubs mostly, sometimes hotels. I sent emails to her every day but she maybe could read them 2 or 3 times per week, and she was never a big "email person". It was 3 emails to 1 basically but that did not matter. We talked by phone 3-4 times per day and had evidence of that

Yes, definitely FIND a way to generate evidence but you do not have to have ALL the evidence other people speak of.
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VERMONT!  I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla


#8 duraaraa

duraaraa

    The Village Idiot



Posted 12 March 2013 - 04:22 PM

I use google voice, so I have a log of every time I called her, how much it cost, how long the call was, etc. I plan to send birthday cards and presents soon, for her kids, but Mongolia's postal system is essentially nothing (no mailman, no mail boxes, one post office for the whole capital city), so it's very hard for us to have that kind of correspondence regularly. Plus, it would be expensive to translate a lot of correspondence.

For photo evidence, I probably have six or seven photos. I also have a bunch of photos taken by her kids on my Nintendo DS, which are quite funny and usually drawn on, but there are pictures of both of us on there. I think, actually, the pictures the kids took show the bona fides of the relationship very well.

The problem is that most of the pictures we took are with one of us with the kids, taken by the other one, but I think it will be alright, as proof that I am close with her kids can only be good for our case.

I am depending on the fact that I lived with her in her country for nine months as the biggest evidence, I suppose.

Edited by duraaraa, 12 March 2013 - 04:23 PM.

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What would Xenu do?


#9 BaBamSam

BaBamSam

    Gold Member

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Posted 12 March 2013 - 05:55 PM

It shouldn't matter whether you met online or offline - it seems pretty split here on VJ and, actually, all the couples I know in my personal life who went through K-1 or CR-1 or adjusted from VWP all met in person.

I met mine when he studied abroad at my university here in the States and, by pure coincidence, I was studying abroad at his the following year. So we were able to do a year as friends in the US, start dating, a year as a couple in the UK, a semester dating while I was finishing my degree in the US and he started work, half a year living together in the UK after I graduated, and now a year long distance with us both developing individually and strengthening our relationship. We communicate long-distance mostly through FaceTime and by iMessage (mostly to say when we will FaceTime haha), so evidence of communication is hard aside from screenshots of our FaceTime talks. But we also have a lot of pictures together and included sworn affidavits of our relationship :)
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I am the USC/petitioner.

Our K-1 Journey
12/19/2012 - Mailed I-129F via USPS Express
12/21/2012 - I-129F arrives in Lewisville, TX according to USPS tracking (delayed because it's the USPS)
12/21/2012 - NOA1 date of receipt
12/26/2012 - NOA1 received via text/email
12/27/2012 - Checked cashed by USCIS
12/31/2012 - Alien Number changed (NOA1 hardcopy in post, but was away for 2 weeks prior)

05/16/2013 - NOA2 received via text/email

05/20/2013 - NOA2 hardcopy received in post

05/28/2013 - NVC receives packet and assigns London case number

07/15/2013 - Sent all paperwork/medical complete

08/23/2013 - Receive Interview Date

09/19/2013 - Interview


#10 Gary and Alla

Gary and Alla

    Я вижу тебя



Posted 12 March 2013 - 06:02 PM

I use google voice, so I have a log of every time I called her, how much it cost, how long the call was, etc. I plan to send birthday cards and presents soon, for her kids, but Mongolia's postal system is essentially nothing (no mailman, no mail boxes, one post office for the whole capital city), so it's very hard for us to have that kind of correspondence regularly. Plus, it would be expensive to translate a lot of correspondence.

For photo evidence, I probably have six or seven photos. I also have a bunch of photos taken by her kids on my Nintendo DS, which are quite funny and usually drawn on, but there are pictures of both of us on there. I think, actually, the pictures the kids took show the bona fides of the relationship very well.

The problem is that most of the pictures we took are with one of us with the kids, taken by the other one, but I think it will be alright, as proof that I am close with her kids can only be good for our case.

I am depending on the fact that I lived with her in her country for nine months as the biggest evidence, I suppose.


"Proof of relationship" is shown by more than photos of the TWO of you together. FWIW we had tons of photos and they only looked at four. Photos with the kids seem very good, why not? We sued lots of evidence of ME being considered the "parent" for our AOS and ROC processes. excellent evidence. A person pulling a fraud is not likely to subject her kids to some stranger.
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VERMONT!  I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla


#11 duraaraa

duraaraa

    The Village Idiot



Posted 12 March 2013 - 06:07 PM

"Proof of relationship" is shown by more than photos of the TWO of you together. FWIW we had tons of photos and they only looked at four. Photos with the kids seem very good, why not? We sued lots of evidence of ME being considered the "parent" for our AOS and ROC processes. excellent evidence. A person pulling a fraud is not likely to subject her kids to some stranger.

That's reassuring. I probably have more photographic proof of my relationship with the kids than I do of my relationship with my fiancee. :P
In a feel-good way to end this topic, though, I figured out a way to activate a Mongolian VOIP account which allows SMS message sending and receiving... so if I get it working and we use that to communicate, I'll have my written proof. I'll also have plenty to do in my spare time, translating all of the messages to English.

Edited by duraaraa, 12 March 2013 - 06:08 PM.

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What would Xenu do?


#12 baron555

baron555

    Super Star Member



Posted 12 March 2013 - 08:13 PM

That's reassuring. I probably have more photographic proof of my relationship with the kids than I do of my relationship with my fiancee. :P
In a feel-good way to end this topic, though, I figured out a way to activate a Mongolian VOIP account which allows SMS message sending and receiving... so if I get it working and we use that to communicate, I'll have my written proof. I'll also have plenty to do in my spare time, translating all of the messages to English.



My advice is to plan to send to your fiance for her interview a "Evolution of Our Relationship" letter; about three pages, that describes in word your relationship with with this woman and her children and refers to specific evidences to support the statement.

You should be able to recount how you first met, how the relationship went through the "normal" progression and how it is now and leading to your expected marriage and continued relationship after marriage.

It doesn't need to be too sappy but do include how you both first met, how you both first determined to continue and when you first both determined to make a life together.
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Phil (Lockport, near Chicago) and Alla (Lobnya, near Moscow)

As of Dec 7, 2009, now Zero miles apart (literally)!

#13 TBoneTX

TBoneTX

    Among the 99.44% HOSED at the Guayaquil consulate



Posted 13 March 2013 - 12:53 AM

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion -- topic is germane to more than one visa type. ***

(Organizer hat off)
Excellent topic with great responses. At our Stokes interview, the Foreign Service National (no, we didn't even have the courtesy of an interview with an American) made a rather big deal of asking about postal and overnight-service communications. We had some, of course.

Also, I doubt that the embassy in Mongolia has to deal with many fraudulent cases, because of the remoteness and the language barrier, so I suspect that a nice mixture of any reasonable evidence will enable you to achieve issuance of the visa. Furthermore, you radiate sincerity. The COs will be well aware of the technological shortcomings of the country in which they too live. And, who knows -- having a "honey-bunny" visa application to consider might be a pleasant diversion for them.
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06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.
06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).
07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?
09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).
09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).
10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."
12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.
12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.
12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.
01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.
01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.
04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").
05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.
05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).
06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."
07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.
08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).
08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

#14 newlyweds2010

newlyweds2010

    Platinum Member



Posted 13 March 2013 - 03:25 PM

We did not produce a single email or chat log at any time during our visa journey. So far so good.
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#15 misterbigtoe

misterbigtoe

    Benevolent Instigator



Posted 13 March 2013 - 10:26 PM

Posted Image

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion -- topic is germane to more than one visa type. ***

(Organizer hat off)
................................. I suspect that a nice mixture of any reasonable evidence will enable you to achieve issuance of the visa. Furthermore, you radiate sincerity. The COs will be well aware of the technological shortcomings of the country in which they too live. And, who knows -- having a "honey-bunny" visa application to consider might be a pleasant diversion for them.Posted Image


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th_Untitled-3.jpg?t=1294114030

03/2008--Met while working together in Mongolia
06/21/10--Married in Ulaanbaatar on the Summer solstice
USCIS
09/06/10--I-130 package mailed to USCIS Chicago Lockbox
12/14/10--NOA2 hardcopy rec'd, Dec 09 notice date<APPROVED>86 Days
NVC
12/22/10-NVC / IIN Number issued, AOS bill paid
12/26/10-DS-3032 emailed
January4............IV bill paid, discovered error by preparer
USCIS ROUND 2
01/04/11-- I-130 package for stepson sent express with expedite plea
01/11/11---Congressional expedite plea lodged with USCIS
01/20/11--- Notice date, APPROVED 14 days
NVC ROUND 2
01/26/11--- NVC/IIN Numbers issued, DS-3032 Emailed
02/07/11--- AOS/IV packages fedexed to NVC
02/24/11--- Both Cases Completed at NVC
CONSULAR
04/27/11--- Interview passed
05/29/11--- POE ORD
08/2011---  I-551s arrive

heart.gif NEW YEAR'S EVE 2011, WE WELCOME OUR BABY GIRL TO THE FAMILYheart.gif 

REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS

04/18/13--- I-751 mailed

09/25/13---ROC approval 

 

 

 




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