[Oneness]

I have been married 10 months to my visa wife. I put her on my bank account and had 15,000 dollars. At first it was bliss but then
she never seems to be happy unless she was shopping. I know she misses her family a lot and I would always console her when she cried.
To start a fresh beginning we decided to tour the state for a new home and move. At first it was alright,sharing in the newness of the
city, taking hikes. But once again she became sad and became critical. She would stay on her computer for hours or run off to go shopping
The bank account is now down to 5000 dollars 6 months later. If we got into a conformation, some of them I think she would purposely start,
she would take off for hours. One night I woke up at 12:00 to find that she was gone and did not come home until 10:00 am that morning.
She has began fabricating stories and making everything my fault. Even the night before she got her green card she played the I'm moving
home card and left for the night. I got a phone call to meet her at a hotel room that was near our capital 30 miles away. She was approved
and received her conditional green card. She started looking for work and got a job. The Saturday before she was to start work I came home
from A Homeless Ministry and found her car pack with everything she owned including her cat and dog. 2 days later she transferred 1200 dollars
a personal account she set up. A week later she was back in the home. That lasted a week until once again she threatened to move. She had
been drinking so I told her she could not drive. She walked off at 8:00 and told me to leave her alone.

I don't know what to think she rented a home on the other side of town and she says she does not want a divorce nor couples counselling.

[Meseret and John]

I have been married 10 months to my visa wife. I put her on my bank account and had 15,000 dollars. At first it was bliss but then
she never seems to be happy unless she was shopping. I know she misses her family a lot and I would always console her when she cried.
To start a fresh beginning we decided to tour the state for a new home and move. At first it was alright,sharing in the newness of the
city, taking hikes. But once again she became sad and became critical. She would stay on her computer for hours or run off to go shopping
The bank account is now down to 5000 dollars 6 months later. If we got into a conformation, some of them I think she would purposely start,
she would take off for hours. One night I woke up at 12:00 to find that she was gone and did not come home until 10:00 am that morning.
She has began fabricating stories and making everything my fault. Even the night before she got her green card she played the I'm moving
home card and left for the night. I got a phone call to meet her at a hotel room that was near our capital 30 miles away. She was approved
and received her conditional green card. She started looking for work and got a job. The Saturday before she was to start work I came home
from A Homeless Ministry and found her car pack with everything she owned including her cat and dog. 2 days later she transferred 1200 dollars
a personal account she set up. A week later she was back in the home. That lasted a week until once again she threatened to move. She had
been drinking so I told her she could not drive. She walked off at 8:00 and told me to leave her alone.

I don't know what to think she rented a home on the other side of town and she says she does not want a divorce nor couples counselling.

[Gegel]

I don't know what to think she rented a home on the other side of town and she says she does not want a divorce nor couples counselling.

Objectively, it does not matter she does not want counseling or a divorce. What matters is what YOU want. If you want a divorce get one and move on with your life. IMHO she is using all the possible excuses she can to stay away from you and remain married so as not to lose her green card.

Take your life back and move on.

[kytwell]

You can't make her(or anyone) happy, happiness comes from within; don't even waste your time or money trying.

Edited by kytwell, 16 October 2012 - 10:12 AM.

[DoneWaiting]

Open new accounts under your name and transfer all your funds before you lose it all, if you haven't. You wont be able to make her happy by giving her your hard working savings, it is very obvious [in my own selfish opinion] she is a lot more interested in other things and not the relationship.. After you take everything away, you will know if indeed she is in the relationship or is just interest.

Good luck..

[Meseret and John]

I have been married 10 months to my visa wife. I put her on my bank account and had 15,000 dollars. At first it was bliss but then
she never seems to be happy unless she was shopping. I know she misses her family a lot and I would always console her when she cried.
To start a fresh beginning we decided to tour the state for a new home and move. At first it was alright,sharing in the newness of the
city, taking hikes. But once again she became sad and became critical. She would stay on her computer for hours or run off to go shopping
The bank account is now down to 5000 dollars 6 months later. If we got into a conformation, some of them I think she would purposely start,
she would take off for hours. One night I woke up at 12:00 to find that she was gone and did not come home until 10:00 am that morning.
She has began fabricating stories and making everything my fault. Even the night before she got her green card she played the I'm moving
home card and left for the night. I got a phone call to meet her at a hotel room that was near our capital 30 miles away. She was approved
and received her conditional green card. She started looking for work and got a job. The Saturday before she was to start work I came home
from A Homeless Ministry and found her car pack with everything she owned including her cat and dog. 2 days later she transferred 1200 dollars
a personal account she set up. A week later she was back in the home. That lasted a week until once again she threatened to move. She had
been drinking so I told her she could not drive. She walked off at 8:00 and told me to leave her alone.

I don't know what to think she rented a home on the other side of town and she says she does not want a divorce nor couples counselling.

Brother,
Please listern to my advice. First and foremost, I am glad you are able to speak freely and seeking helping rightaway in regards to your marriage situation. my thoughts to you right now please run away from this woman of yours. She is intentionally playing you for visa gains and financial gains. According to your messages, your wife has already made her mind about leaving you since she got her Green Cards, and there is nothing you can do to repair your marriage, or prevent her from leaving. The patterns of her behaviors indicated a very alarming and serious situation for you fiancially and emotionally with a lasting effect. Please do not wastes your time in this marriage. Also, remember the document you signed during her process (I-134 OR I-184) AFFIVADIT OF SUPPORT. This document put you in the hook to for her fiancial support regardless, whether you are staying with her or not, so I will encourage you to be smart, and
be prepare ahead of time for worse case scenerio. Second, limit your fiancial wastes, cut all her shopping stuff only basic stuff to support her as required by law, third, find your self a lawyer ASAP, last, do not let her get permant resident card the one without condition in it. By divorcing her right away,you could prevent her from acquire it. The green card with condition she has rightnow will expire in two years, and she will have no choice, but to return back to her home country otherwise, she will be staying as illegal. I wish you the best bro.

[NigeriaorBust]

She sounds like her interest in you is tied to how much money you put in her account. They have a word for woman that work like that and it isn't wife. She may just be too immature to be married but you are letting her ruin your life. At the very least get a separation and cut her off from your funds as much as is allowed. If the relationship is still there she will work on it once you cut her off from her fix. If not you are better off finding out now that later. Hire an investigotor to see if she has her own place and if she has help paying the rent.

[carton025]

Open new accounts under your name and transfer all your funds before you lose it all, if you haven't. You wont be able to make her happy by giving her your hard working savings, it is very obvious [in my own selfish opinion] she is a lot more interested in other things and not the relationship.. After you take everything away, you will know if indeed she is in the relationship or is just interest.

Good luck..

The above is excellent advice! She has her 2 year GC and can get her own job and support herself without your help - yes I also signed the Affidavit of Support. I know this is too late to ask, but how long did you know her before you brought her here? I ask b/c I too wanted to avoid a situation like yours and my gal and I spent 3 years getting to know each other, the good, the bad, and the ugly! And, once she got here we are still learning the good, the bad and the ugly about each other, but the bumps that come in life are pretty much already expected and known about. Best of luck to you!

[Oneness]

The above is excellent advice! She has her 2 year GC and can get her own job and support herself without your help - yes I also signed the Affidavit of Support. I know this is too late to ask, but how long did you know her before you brought her here? I ask b/c I too wanted to avoid a situation like yours and my gal and I spent 3 years getting to know each other, the good, the bad, and the ugly! And, once she got here we are still learning the good, the bad and the ugly about each other, but the bumps that come in life are pretty much already expected and known about. Best of luck to you!

[Oneness]

Almost two years. She gave up a good paying job, sold her home and made a little equity enough to buy a car.
She is a mature women with class, she has a degree in mental health. I know I am not perfect I want to save
the marriage but not at my expence. I felt everything was perfect until a month or more before the interview.
When she drove put me shock and rocked my world

[DoneWaiting]

The fact is, we all [sponsors] are hooked for financial support to our spouses.. We brought them here away from their families, life, etc, etc, etc.. However, no gun was pointed at their heads forcing them to immigrate to the USA. Some of us have been blessed with wonderful individuals [wives] that stand side by side, others have not been so lucky and to those [HISTIME] time still on your side.

I am not encouraging divorce nor I am condemning it but a decision must be made and unfortunately depends all on you becuase if is on her part, she will dry you out of all your finances and then leave and continue her life.

Now, it could be other reasons, different stories, her side, but we only know yours.. and as many of us here, we understand how difficult this could be and complicated as well see how your life deteriorates emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

You will need to have many things in place to protect yourself and assets, and yes, I believe you will need legal assistance to provide/proof your merits were true and if necessary avoid her obtaining her permanent card. But, that is all up to you..

Edited by DoneWaiting, 16 October 2012 - 11:07 AM.

[Gowon]

Objectively, it does not matter she does not want counseling or a divorce. What matters is what YOU want. If you want a divorce get one and move on with your life. IMHO she is using all the possible excuses she can to stay away from you and remain married so as not to lose her green card.

Take your life back and move on.

This.

The fact is, we all [sponsors] are hooked for financial support to our spouses.. We brought them here away from their families, life, etc, etc, etc.. However, no gun was pointed at their heads forcing them to immigrate to the USA. Some of us have been blessed with wonderful individuals [wives] that stand side by side, others have not been so lucky and to those [HISTIME] time still on your side.

I am not encouraging divorce nor I am condemning it but a decision must be made and unfortunately depends all on you becuase if is on her part, she will dry you out of all your finances and then leave and continue her life.

Now, it could be other reasons, different stories, her side, but we only know yours.. and as many of us here, we understand how difficult this could be and complicated as well see how your life deteriorates emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

You will need to have many things in place to protect yourself and assets, and yes, I believe you will need legal assistance to provide/proof your merits were true and if necessary avoid her obtaining her permanent card. But, that is all up to you..

That.

OP, please Man up and do what you KNOW you need to do.

[Oneness]

The fact is, we all [sponsors] are hooked for financial support to our spouses.. We brought them here away from their families, life, etc, etc, etc.. However, no gun was pointed at their heads forcing them to immigrate to the USA. Some of us have been blessed with wonderful individuals [wives] that stand side by side, others have not been so lucky and to those [HISTIME] time still on your side.

I am not encouraging divorce nor I am condemning it but a decision must be made and unfortunately depends all on you becuase if is on her part, she will dry you out of all your finances and then leave and continue her life.

Now, it could be other reasons, different stories, her side, but we only know yours.. and as many of us here, we understand how difficult this could be and complicated as well see how your life deteriorates emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.

You will need to have many things in place to protect yourself and assets, and yes, I believe you will need legal assistance to provide/proof your merits were true and if necessary avoid her obtaining her permanent card. But, that is all up to you..

[Oneness]

Thank you for noticing I am a believer and she is to.
I battle with HIS TIME vs MY FLESH
However I have given and the cup has run dry and need
to be smart.Philippians 1:9 And this I pray, that your
love may abound still more and more in real knowledge
and all discernment,

[sandranj]

It's sound to me you were scammed! she will keep you around enough until she gets the permanent GC and then bye, tchau...Open your eyes and close your joint bank account.Good luck