Please someone correct me if i am wrong?? He is not asking for personal advices..he has his friends and his family that know him and her and the situation better than visajournet members.. the only thing he wants to know is what to do in case he wants to divorce her!!
And I think he is right.. i am from another country too .. I got here 4 months ago.. and the first months were hard because i missed my family and friends so much...but I am adjusting little by little now..I got new friends.. I made friends with my husband's friend's wives.. and other people from other countries.. she should be happy to find people from the same country to make friends with..I haven't found anyone from Argentina or anyone who speaks spanish yet.. still i am not being such a b####..I love my husband and i know he does everything he can to make me happy because he knows that i am far away from my country, he knows i don't have family or friends here, he knows my English is not perfect.. and my culture is different..and he does everything he can to make sure i am happy.. so because of that i put a little effort and i respond him the same way..
Why are you guys talking about him not wanting to spend his money on her??.. he just said he recently payed for her to go and see her family..he is not saying that she can't spend his money.. he is saying that he let her spend his money in everything she wants.. but when he wants to spend money to pay bills like..she doesn't let him...
I am with you 100% Ms. Argentina. You sound like normal and reasonable.
I was married to what sounds like the same Chinese woman, even down to the turning off the heat to save money (and I live in Chicago not Florida). But after all the super miserly behavior, one day she decided she needs her own house on the east coast. So she withdrew large sums from our joint savings and bought a house! Never mind my input. Oh, but it was for the good of the family because she thought it's a good investment and a summer home. That was just before real estate prices went south. Besides that, she isolated me from my family and from my friends. She treated my mother like she was a diseased scumbag when she would try to hold our daughter. She also made no friends and expected the kids and I to be her total social support. Oh, I thought when I first married her, that it would get better over time, but it didn't. When I stopped being a doormat, the hostility got worse. So this case here echoes of mine big time. Don't wait 12 years like I did, to figure out what you already know.
Now I have met this nice Filipina who actually pulls out her wallet to pay when we are out to eat. She has gone out of her way to introduce herself to my mother and other relatives and friends. She's financially conscientious without being miserly or demanding. She works. She has pride in that she doesn't want me to pay for everything. Things aren't always smooth, but she is willing to apologize when she feels she's been wrong. What a breath of fresh air. My ex was NEVER wrong!
So don't wait years to decide what your gut is telling you now. Whether you are on the hook for her or not if you divorce shouldn't be the deciding factor. Your own happiness and sanity should be. I mean, after you spend $1000s of dollars and all the time and effort to bring her here and then she treats you like you don't count...
You can take time to figure out what went wrong, then find someone who values you and respects you.