[DavidandIrina]

So I have a very odd topic, but seeking some knowledge.

I met a Ukrainian and we dated for well over a year. We planned to get married and I managed to actually secure a full Fiancee visa for her. She hasn't used it yet. Anyways, she begged me to make her pregnant because she wanted to have a baby as fast as she could. She got pregnant and had a baby girl who lives with her and her parents in Ukraine. Since then she and I don't talk much and we have fought a lot since she decided she hates the USA and wants to stay.

Anyways, she wants me to go there to sign a paper that says that I'm the father. She says that she can't get a birth certificate without my signature. However, I was wondering if this makes me financially responsible in any way or if she'll have me arrested there or in the States if I don't cough up money? I would obviously understand that if I was in Ukraine in the future I could be arrested and forced to give her child support, but living in the States, I don't know if they can "get" me. However, I feel responsible for my daughter to sign the papers that would get her health care and other necessary things.

Before you all feel sorry for her, understand that I would have been her third husband, and she was going to use me as a skipping pad to an American job here. The word "manipulative" comes to mind.

Advice? (besides talk to an attorney)
Actually if your advice is to talk to an attorney, can you recommend a good one?

David

[Robert&Karen]

My personal advice, if I were you I'd walk away. You have been used and with a child having an American father the kid can lay claim to the US for immigrating one day. Of course she will tag along. Unles of course you have feelings and are connected to the kid, but in that case maybe argue for custody. It's so sad that she is using a kid as a weapon.

[Sunny123]

You made a baby step up and be a man. Regardless of what her mother did she is still YOUR DAUGHTER!!

[BzmommytoAmerican]

I think she did not put a gun on you to make u get her pregnant. Ur just being a coward and trying to runaway from supporting your child. Grow up

[Gary and Alla]

So I have a very odd topic, but seeking some knowledge.

I met a Ukrainian and we dated for well over a year. We planned to get married and I managed to actually secure a full Fiancee visa for her. She hasn't used it yet. Anyways, she begged me to make her pregnant because she wanted to have a baby as fast as she could. She got pregnant and had a baby girl who lives with her and her parents in Ukraine. Since then she and I don't talk much and we have fought a lot since she decided she hates the USA and wants to stay.

Anyways, she wants me to go there to sign a paper that says that I'm the father. She says that she can't get a birth certificate without my signature. However, I was wondering if this makes me financially responsible in any way or if she'll have me arrested there or in the States if I don't cough up money? I would obviously understand that if I was in Ukraine in the future I could be arrested and forced to give her child support, but living in the States, I don't know if they can "get" me. However, I feel responsible for my daughter to sign the papers that would get her health care and other necessary things.

Before you all feel sorry for her, understand that I would have been her third husband, and she was going to use me as a skipping pad to an American job here. The word "manipulative" comes to mind.

Advice? (besides talk to an attorney)
Actually if your advice is to talk to an attorney, can you recommend a good one?

David

she can get a birth certirficate without a father or she can make up a fathers name. Ukrainian women do it all the time. They can even get a certificate of "no father"

Yes she could get a child support order, of course. It would be hard or impossible to enforce.

They vae socialized health care in Ukraine, your daughter has the same availability of health care as anyone else there.

[Dan and Judy]

So I have a very odd topic, but seeking some knowledge.

I met a Ukrainian and we dated for well over a year. We planned to get married and I managed to actually secure a full Fiancee visa for her. She hasn't used it yet. Anyways, she begged me to make her pregnant because she wanted to have a baby as fast as she could. She got pregnant and had a baby girl who lives with her and her parents in Ukraine. Since then she and I don't talk much and we have fought a lot since she decided she hates the USA and wants to stay.

Anyways, she wants me to go there to sign a paper that says that I'm the father. She says that she can't get a birth certificate without my signature. However, I was wondering if this makes me financially responsible in any way or if she'll have me arrested there or in the States if I don't cough up money? I would obviously understand that if I was in Ukraine in the future I could be arrested and forced to give her child support, but living in the States, I don't know if they can "get" me. However, I feel responsible for my daughter to sign the papers that would get her health care and other necessary things.

Before you all feel sorry for her, understand that I would have been her third husband, and she was going to use me as a skipping pad to an American job here. The word "manipulative" comes to mind.

Advice? (besides talk to an attorney)
Actually if your advice is to talk to an attorney, can you recommend a good one?

David

My thoughts are I would want to make sure it was my baby with DNA before I signed anything. I would wonder if you realy have to be there to sign.

[Vanessa&Tony]

Some countries (not Ukraine) have a child support agreement with the US. Here is a link: http://www.angelfire...uscitizens.html As you can see from the link though, any country could be added to the list any any time. I'm not sure how child support would work right now, so I don't think she wants that, I think she wants USC for the child. Are you sure the child is yours? Unfortunately unless you were there all the time it's likely she was sleeping with other people at the same time as you (especially if she's trying to scam you). I suggest you undertake a DNA test before you even THINK of signing anything. She could be trustworthy but women are the ONLY one who know for 100% sure they are the parent of a child so its your right, and it's common sense, to check first.

I think she's lying about the birth certificate, I've never heard of needing to know the father to get a birth certificate but someone from Ukraine will tell you for sure if this is true. I would say she wants you to sign the CRBA (citizenship) documents.

I personally wouldn't go there at all. Why can't she mail you the required documents so you can look at what she wants? Someone will come along and tell you more of the legalities but I wouldn't risk going there. No way, no how.

Edited by Vanessa&Tony, 17 January 2012 - 05:41 PM.

[Gary and Alla]

That said

The child is yours and you can file a CRBA at the consulate in Kiev and claim her US citizenship. For that you WOULD need to sign the birth certificate and be listed as the father but it would give your daughter the opportunity at any time in the future to come to the US as a citizen. If you are concerned about your daughter you would give her this opportunity for the future

I agree what you did was silly, dumb. DO NOT make babies until you are in a secure relationship, pull it out and point it in a safe direction! No exceptions.

I understand that there may have been some manipulation but it is the wise man that just makes a standard and follows it. "NO, we will have children when you are in the US and we are married and settled and prepared for children" for example. If she did not like that, she could roll it up and leave. There are 22 million more where she came from. Get a good one.

[aaron2020]

Don't go to the Ukraine if you fear being arrested.

The child is your daughter. What you decide will impact whether you will have a father/daughter relationship.

The mother can sue you for child support in the US. All she need is a US lawyer.

[Gary and Alla]

She IS either lying about the borth certificate or does not know herself. Tell her to go to the Ministry of Internal Affiars and get a birth certificate (ZAGS) No father needed.

Under Ukrainian laws IF you are not going to participate in raisning the child it will be better for her AND the child in the future if you are not listed.

If you DO agree to be listed, get a DNA test first.

Were you or are you sending her money> Scammers will often go thorugh with getting the visa and then not come, usually delaying the visa appointment as long as possible. You may not be the only one she is selling the baby to, so to speak.

If it IS yours then I would suggest some form of agreement for the benefit of the child and to get the child US citizenship.

[1HappyGuy]

Don't go to the Ukraine if you fear being arrested.

What, you think the entire country will be put on alert for him? If you choose to return to Ukraine, there are plenty of other cities that your former fiancee does not live in. And, there are still lots of very nice and honest women to choose from!

[Bob 4 Anna]

Here's a third call for getting a DNA test BEFORE you sign anything.

If the DNA is positive then at the very least you should support getting your child CRBA for the child's future (not the Mom's).

[aaron2020]

Here's a third call for getting a DNA test BEFORE you sign anything.

If the DNA is positive then at the very least you should support getting your child CRBA for the child's future (not the Mom's).

Ditto

[skiptex]

the PREGO thing.. was a TREMENDOUSLY LARGE BAD IDEA>> but its your spawn...

you should fight for her..

but if you don't care.. walk away...

it is your life i do not judge you

ps.. bummer about the whole thing now working out.. (minus the baby daddy issue)

Edited by skiptex, 17 January 2012 - 06:24 PM.

[Bad_Daddy]

Don't go to the Ukraine if you fear being arrested.

The child is your daughter. What you decide will impact whether you will have a father/daughter relationship.

The mother can sue you for child support in the US. All she need is a US lawyer.

Really? Is that what the DNA test proved ? Post the DNA results on here please.

@ the OP. Change your phone #, get another email addy and this time find a decent one. Like Gary pointed out, there's 22 million more over there and that's not even mentioning Belarus and Russia. Until she gets a DNA test it could be the milk man's kid for all you know.