I(US citizen) Got married in Pakistan and need to know how to bring my spouse to the U.S.

[MumtazG38 1]

Got there, stick to your plan and good luck. You are the only one that knows what is best in your situation

Yes, based on your family situation, it would appear the best solution is to go and live with your husband now. Then deal with the visa through DCF. What's the important thing, to be together or for him to be in the USA?

Do you think if I put my residential address in the i130 file and used a different return address that they would send me things at the address in the file or the return address on the packet/letter? Could I attach a note for them to use the return address?

[pushbrk 12,093]

Got there, stick to your plan and good luck. You are the only one that knows what is best in your situation

Yes, based on your family situation, it would appear the best solution is to go and live with your husband now. Then deal with the visa through DCF. What's the important thing, to be together or for him to be in the USA?

Do you think if I put my residential address in the i130 file and used a different return address that they would send me things at the address in the file or the return address on the packet/letter? Could I attach a note for them to use the return address?

For a domestic filing, USCIS will mail to only a US address. For DCF, they mail to address on file abroad.

[MumtazG38 1]

yes, the address i would like to use IS a us address, but it is a private mail box(not p.o. box) with a normal u.s address that will forward my mail to me as i receive it.

Would they use the return address on the packet? Let's just say it's for privacy reasons....what have you.

Edited December 29, 2008 by MumtazG38

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Not to be a complete and total spoil sport, but here's my personal experience:

Met my husband in 2001. Parents hated him. Went to Egypt in 2003. Parents still hated him. Parents went to Egypt to meet him at the end of 2003. Parents hated him even more.

Rather than file for a visa, I chose to finish my education, and waited until I had established myself with a good job and an apartment of my own before I filed for a visa. Yes, it sucked big time to be apart from my husband. I once went 18 months without being with him in person. But in the end, it was for the best. We didn't have to rely on anyone but ourselves when he got here, he had a place to live and we had a solid future for ourselves.

I can't imagine what it would have been like if he had come while I was still in college. Probably would have been even more difficult then the adjustment already was.

IMHO? Wait until you have all your ducks in a row and can support yourself here. Immigrating to the US is hard enough without having to worry about a roof over your head and food on the table.

[taj'samericanwife 0]

mumtaz, i agree with rahma...sorry i know you probably hate me already...but i did exactly what she did...i finished school and got through...every single criticism my parents and my family say about him and every single criticism his family says about me. if i stayed behind with my husband and begged someone to be our co sponsor just for the sake of staying and being together would not be very mature for us. we decided to marry which means the both of us can stand without any help. and the fact that i left my son and my husband alone to come to america and to work, be a nurse and be established here made our relationship stronger. yeah i could have filed through dcf and that would probably mean more time spent with my husband and my son but i was thinking of our FUTURE and not just thinking of the present so we can be together at that time.

i didnt mean to say that you are doubting your husband. alls im saying is when people say they might assume he is using you for the visa, dont act all defensive. he is not period...

and about being the woman not being able to work because pakistani women are not suppose to work and your father or husband is against it well that is your call...

i just wish you good luck

[pushbrk 12,093]

yes, the address i would like to use IS a us address, but it is a private mail box(not p.o. box) with a normal u.s address that will forward my mail to me as i receive it.

Would they use the return address on the packet? Let's just say it's for privacy reasons....what have you.

They use the address you indicate on the forms regardless of the envelope's return address.

[MumtazG38 1]

mumtaz, i agree with rahma...sorry i know you probably hate me already...but i did exactly what she did...i finished school and got through...every single criticism my parents and my family say about him and every single criticism his family says about me. if i stayed behind with my husband and begged someone to be our co sponsor just for the sake of staying and being together would not be very mature for us. we decided to marry which means the both of us can stand without any help. and the fact that i left my son and my husband alone to come to america and to work, be a nurse and be established here made our relationship stronger. yeah i could have filed through dcf and that would probably mean more time spent with my husband and my son but i was thinking of our FUTURE and not just thinking of the present so we can be together at that time.

i didnt mean to say that you are doubting your husband. alls im saying is when people say they might assume he is using you for the visa, dont act all defensive. he is not period...

and about being the woman not being able to work because pakistani women are not suppose to work and your father or husband is against it well that is your call...

i just wish you good luck

husbands not against it at all. Father is.

Also, I called the uscis and the rep told me that it would be okay if I attached an extra sheet of paper explaining the fact that i would prefer to use a different mailing address then my residence. She said it is very normal for filers to do this. She also said I should do the same about the fact that I am unemployed and dont have tax returns and the likes. I can attach a seperate sheet explaining my unemployment and lack of financial docs...I should add as many docs as i do have..and the rest should be taken care of by my joint sponsor. They are the one who will need to provide it as they will take on financial responsibility if i am not able....not that i wont be but that is how they would see it.

Edited December 29, 2008 by MumtazG38

[taj'samericanwife 0]

you are a grown woman and you are married, you are very capable of making decisions for yourself and your husband and the future family you will both start. you made the decision to marry this man, it is what it is. and what is done is done. its going to be a long journey and a tough one but if you know yourself you can make it work then nothing is going to stop you.

when i met my husband...and we started dating...i knew it was against his religion and his pakistani culture to 1. have a relationship 2. have a relationship with a non muslim and non pakistani...but i said to myself i want this man as my husband and i can do this and i can make it work for us. it didn't end there, my father hates him and i know he still does even though his grandson brings joy to him. people (and yeah even my family members) make fun of my husbands religion and that he just came from a third world country who is on the brink of poverty. and that he probably wont be able to make it here in the united states...his family never talks to me or never gives an a$$ about what's going on with me here in america but you know what...he is my husband and i decided for him to become part of my life and will join my life here in america. remember mumtaz money comes and goes but education will stay (i hope i don't sound like your mother or sister now) but its just another advice from a pakistani's wife to another.

i

[pushbrk 12,093]

mumtaz, i agree with rahma...sorry i know you probably hate me already...but i did exactly what she did...i finished school and got through...every single criticism my parents and my family say about him and every single criticism his family says about me. if i stayed behind with my husband and begged someone to be our co sponsor just for the sake of staying and being together would not be very mature for us. we decided to marry which means the both of us can stand without any help. and the fact that i left my son and my husband alone to come to america and to work, be a nurse and be established here made our relationship stronger. yeah i could have filed through dcf and that would probably mean more time spent with my husband and my son but i was thinking of our FUTURE and not just thinking of the present so we can be together at that time.

i didnt mean to say that you are doubting your husband. alls im saying is when people say they might assume he is using you for the visa, dont act all defensive. he is not period...

and about being the woman not being able to work because pakistani women are not suppose to work and your father or husband is against it well that is your call...

i just wish you good luck

husbands not against it at all. Father is.

Also, I called the uscis and the rep told me that it would be okay if I attached an extra sheet of paper explaining the fact that i would prefer to use a different mailing address then my residence. She said it is very normal for filers to do this. She also said I should do the same about the fact that I am unemployed and dont have tax returns and the likes. I can attach a seperate sheet explaining my unemployment and lack of financial docs...I should add as many docs as i do have..and the rest should be taken care of by my joint sponsor. They are the one who will need to provide it as they will take on financial responsibility if i am not able....not that i wont be but that is how they would see it.

Ok, but you need not explain finances or why you are unemployed as part of the petition process. This is done later.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

i just spent 20 minutes of my life reading through all of this.

Mum,

It sounds like there is virtually nothing holding you here. Why not go live with him? He can support you,you can file DCF like a few others suggested. He has family/friends (forgot which you said) here, so it's not like you will be starting from scratch when you come back here to live.

Why suffer and wait for another year possibly,when you can be with him?

I think that the other points brought up by some other posters are valid.

The consulate does not care if you are in love, it's their job to pick everything apart and you have some big "red flags". Living abroad with him sucessfully will be a huge testament to the fact that you ARE a real couple, that you are indeed married for a parnership and not for any alterier motives.

This is an overwhelming process and it sounds like you have a very difficult road ahead of you.

stay here: wait alone without your husband, live unhappily with your parents,face a possibly LONG AP(based on your red flags)

go live there: live with your hubby,get to know him even more,enjoy eachother,get some more life experience and file DCF and skip the long wait at USCIS,possibly skip the long AP also.

This is my 2 cents, it's def what i would do if i was in your shoes.

I hope you have a smooth reunion,whichever route you choose.

Lisa

editted- I just read your story...you dont need to get to know him anymore heh

Edited December 31, 2008 by Y_habibitk

[taj'samericanwife 0]

GOD, EVERYONE keeps mentioning the AP and im so worried it would happen to mine...most probably it will...if we file for DCF this will lessen the chance of having an AP...??? ugh...or the fact that we wont do it thru the islamabad embassy but in teh philippines? ugh!

[pushbrk 12,093]

GOD, EVERYONE keeps mentioning the AP and im so worried it would happen to mine...most probably it will...if we file for DCF this will lessen the chance of having an AP...??? ugh...or the fact that we wont do it thru the islamabad embassy but in teh philippines? ugh!

DCF filings don't lessen the chance of AP. In Mum's case she apparently has no reason to remain in the USA. She can be together with her husband during the entire process including any period of AP.

[Jddyson 0]

I am very interested to know how everything turned out for you. I myself am planning on marrying in Pakistan soon. 

[Ban Hammer 12,829]

14 hours ago, Jddyson said:

I am very interested to know how everything turned out for you. I myself am planning on marrying in Pakistan soon. 

the op of this thread has not been active for many years.  this thread is now closed.  feel free to start a new thread

as more recent experiences can be shared that way.