I(US citizen) Got married in Pakistan and need to know how to bring my spouse to the U.S.

[pushbrk 12,105]

pushbrk:[/u

be prepared to overcome the assumption you're being used for a visa

and how would I do this. How could we prove everything is legitimate and that he is not using me for visa...would this question only come up during interview...?

Yes, the issue would come up in the interview. For all intents and purposes bona fides of the relationship and evaluating public charge concerns are the two primary purposes for most interviews. Your husband's and many others will also include assessment of National Security threats. The totality of the circumstances will need to paint the picture of a bona fide relationship. We don't have enough information to form much of an opinion about that picture both because you've shown us only the red flags and because the picture itself hasn't been completed yet. How you conduct your relationship and life from now until the interview is part of the picture too.

[geezer 1]

pushbrk:[/u

be prepared to overcome the assumption you're being used for a visa

and how would I do this. How could we prove everything is legitimate and that he is not using me for visa...would this question only come up during interview...?

This might be a reason to consider going there for 6 months to establish your residency and then doing a DCF. Use a private PO Box to get your mail. Make all the arrangements to get a co-sponser before you leave, develop a plan for where your going to live and how you support yourselves when you return. Generally DCF is a good fast option for US citizen living abroad.

You are going to get overwhealmed with advice here. You need to decide what is best for your situation. Some people can live for years without being with their spouse, I'm not one of those folks so I do everything I can to be with my wife and daughter as much and often as possible because honestly that is more important to me than getting the visa other may have a different view.

[MumtazG38 1]

well, if I used the DCF way then I'd have to wait another 6 months added to everything....thats pretty much edging towards 3 years.....which is a very long time. I too find it impeccably difficult being without my husband for too long but going the dcf way seems like it will take exactly that, too long. Wouldn't it be better if I just filed from here and used the private mail box address as mailing address and then took care of the rest overseas? I could get all of my things together...and/or mailed to me when I'm there and leave for Pakistan. Then while I'm there couldn't I just mail everything back and forth to the nvc, using my private mail box service/address? It's not like I have to physically be at the nvc for anything...is it, or that they would think I'm living in Pakistan and using the wrong visa or something, because I wouldnt be...I'd still technically be a resident of / be living in the U.S and still have a domicile/address at my parents home where I've been living. I mean it's all just mailing, receiving, mailing and so on so forth...I believe. It would just be easier for me if I were with him, and I don't think I would be applying for residency and such in Pakistan, personally I think that would just add to the complicatedness** and length of my situation/process.

[geezer 1]

well, if I used the DCF way then I'd have to wait another 6 months added to everything....thats pretty much edging towards 3 years.....which is a very long time. I too find it impeccably difficult being without my husband for too long but going the dcf way seems like it will take exactly that, too long. Wouldn't it be better if I just filed from here and used the private mail box address as mailing address and then took care of the rest overseas? I could get all of my things together...and/or mailed to me when I'm there and leave for Pakistan. Then while I'm there couldn't I just mail everything back and forth to the nvc, using my private mail box service/address? It's not like I have to physically be at the nvc for anything...is it, or that they would think I'm living in Pakistan and using the wrong visa or something, because I wouldnt be...I'd still technically be a resident of / be living in the U.S and still have a domicile/address at my parents home where I've been living. I mean it's all just mailing, receiving, mailing and so on so forth...I believe. It would just be easier for me if I were with him, and I don't think I would be applying for residency and such in Pakistan, personally I think that would just add to the complicatedness** and length of my situation/process.

This is just my opinion so take it for what its worth ~ $0.02.

I think you face many challanges that are likely going to make the process quite abit longer than what you expect now. You have a non supportive family which adds logistical problems as well as meaning you will need a nonrelated co-sponser which also complicates matters. Your husband is from a country that will require AP prior to the approval. There are going to be questions of whether he is using you for a visa,the valadity of the marriage, ect.. Living together there in addition to helping you mentally survive the process will answer concerns about the validity of the marriage ect..

You both have to decide what is best for your marriage. From the outside looking in it seems to me you are llikely going to be apart for a considerable period of time by pursuing the process from here. As I originally stated my best advice is to spend as much time together as possible during this process. With a DCF you are not adding 6 months to the time to required to process an application here, the petition does not go to a service center and sit for months like they do here.

Everbody's situation is different. You can get a wide range of options here and pick and chose what works best for you and your own situation.

[pushbrk 12,105]

well, if I used the DCF way then I'd have to wait another 6 months added to everything....thats pretty much edging towards 3 years.....which is a very long time. I too find it impeccably difficult being without my husband for too long but going the dcf way seems like it will take exactly that, too long. Wouldn't it be better if I just filed from here and used the private mail box address as mailing address and then took care of the rest overseas? I could get all of my things together...and/or mailed to me when I'm there and leave for Pakistan. Then while I'm there couldn't I just mail everything back and forth to the nvc, using my private mail box service/address? It's not like I have to physically be at the nvc for anything...is it, or that they would think I'm living in Pakistan and using the wrong visa or something, because I wouldnt be...I'd still technically be a resident of / be living in the U.S and still have a domicile/address at my parents home where I've been living. I mean it's all just mailing, receiving, mailing and so on so forth...I believe. It would just be easier for me if I were with him, and I don't think I would be applying for residency and such in Pakistan, personally I think that would just add to the complicatedness** and length of my situation/process.

This is just my opinion so take it for what its worth ~ $0.02.

I think you face many challanges that are likely going to make the process quite abit longer than what you expect now. You have a non supportive family which adds logistical problems as well as meaning you will need a nonrelated co-sponser which also complicates matters. Your husband is from a country that will require AP prior to the approval. There are going to be questions of whether he is using you for a visa,the valadity of the marriage, ect.. Living together there in addition to helping you mentally survive the process will answer concerns about the validity of the marriage ect..

You both have to decide what is best for your marriage. From the outside looking in it seems to me you are llikely going to be apart for a considerable period of time by pursuing the process from here. As I originally stated my best advice is to spend as much time together as possible during this process. With a DCF you are not adding 6 months to the time to required to process an application here, the petition does not go to a service center and sit for months like they do here.

Everbody's situation is different. You can get a wide range of options here and pick and chose what works best for you and your own situation.

Going there for six months as a resident would probably only add a couple months to the process overall and would likely assure a positive evaluation of your bona fides. However, it would complicate your sponsorship issues, since you won't be getting a job.

[taj'samericanwife 0]

hey mumtaz...relax and read everything, all the information you can find on this website. seems to me you are really anxious! much of what everyone says here is opinion and it all depends on what you want...which is obviously to be with your husband.

but anyway...you said you are in school or something like that? and what i have read in your thread so far is that the most likely problem that will arise is proving a bona fide marriage...what i would suggest is stay in america and file in america. im not quote sure if you said you are studying right now but i would finish up with that. or if you have your GED...get a job! any job, that could help you with your financial support that would help you and your husband. plus it wouldn't give you so much pressure on the financial support thing you would have to present. i'm sure you could get a job that pays at least 10$ an hour! and why do you worry about how to mail the forms and recieving your forms...yeah rent a mailbox at the post office if you have issues with receiving your mail. and if you have problems with going out on the streets to the post office because you don't drive or have a car...well for christ's sakes im sure you can take public transportation like the bus or the subway to go downtown to a post office nearby.

as for taking pictures to show evidence and all that...like i said get a job...work for about 5 months...save up then go visit your hubby in pakistan. the proving of the bona fide marriage (pictures and stuff) will come later in the interviews to show the consular. in the meantime get Affidavits sworn to or affirmed by third parties having personal knowledge of the bona fides of the marital relationship from anyone...like a cousin...a friend to help you...maybe the witnesses at your wedding (you did have witnesses didnt you?) or you can get from your husband's family to make those documents for him.

i know it's very hard for you. i know how you feel. i went through the same thing. when i was still a student, my family didnt want to help me...all it took for them was to sign a couple of papers (affidavit of support) so my husband and son could have come with me here to america. but they didnt even lift a finger...so you know what i did...i graduated and i had to leave my 6 months old son with his father...(imagine a mother leaving her child) got a job here in america and work my ### off...to prove that yeah i can feed my son and my husband and put a roof over their heads...

you're 20 years old...you are old enough to petition your husband and you are old enough to get a job...besides it's only two households...a 10$ / hour job would do. if your family dont wanna help you then help yourself if you really want your husband with you. this is america girl...remember that...the land of oppurtunities.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

after reading and reading i think first you need to get a grip (sorry) it is going to take a while, you wont die without him, the rest of us havent that im aware of. You need income, get a good job so that you can show support, you dont have to have family involved, you can do it alone i am. Visit as much as u can but if your working that maybe a prob too. NVC goes quick you can send from there if you want to wait weeks between forms but mine took one month and one day from beginning to end not one month to get one form back to the states safely. You have a long life ahead of you together IF you do this right, some things just cant be changed or hurried.

Make a life here so he will have something to come to, we are alllllllllllll waiting, then we wait some more, and then we wait some more. What is more logical? to be there for maybe the next year waiting on the visa, come back together to what? no job no money no apartment or here working, getting a nice place to bring him to and you can show you can support the two of you until he gets established. Have you looked to see how much just the NVC part is going to cost you when the time does come? Have you got this saved already?

[MumtazG38 1]

after reading and reading i think first you need to get a grip (sorry) it is going to take a while, you wont die without him, the rest of us havent that im aware of. You need income, get a good job so that you can show support, you dont have to have family involved, you can do it alone i am. Visit as much as u can but if your working that maybe a prob too. NVC goes quick you can send from there if you want to wait weeks between forms but mine took one month and one day from beginning to end not one month to get one form back to the states safely. You have a long life ahead of you together IF you do this right, some things just cant be changed or hurried.

Make a life here so he will have something to come to, we are alllllllllllll waiting, then we wait some more, and then we wait some more. What is more logical? to be there for maybe the next year waiting on the visa, come back together to what? no job no money no apartment or here working, getting a nice place to bring him to and you can show you can support the two of you until he gets established. Have you looked to see how much just the NVC part is going to cost you when the time does come? Have you got this saved already?

He already has something to come to, a well paying job waiting, a family to stay with and assets/money/property of his own plus a import/exporting business back home which he owns to help support himself...and yes he will still keep receiving the money from these things once here. On top of this, we already have around $1500 for when the time comes(as I left all my money and most of my jewelry with him in Pakistan... because I thought I would be coming back in a few months)....he will be sending me the amount as I need it. So basically once he is here he most-likely will be much better off then I, even if I did have a job. (not that I haven't tried getting one, what with no prior experience, no qualifications....just a ged...I seriously doubt I would get a $10/hour job, I have been quite unsuccessful at getting anything that pays more than half that.Not that I am picky about pay, but if that's the amount I would be needing for the aos...)On top of it all, as long as I am allowed to be living with my parents in their house (currently the only place I have to live) I am not allowed to work/ get a job. Mostly because my dad has a serious problem with women working menial jobs...anything other than doctor/lawyer I guess, like unless she's making boat-loads of cold hard cash. IDK why this is...cultural mind set I suppose....but my parents are dead set against my getting a job and going to work....they'd rather just have me cook and clean at home and not leave the house for anything. I wish I didn't have to abide by these utterly stupid rules...but for now this is all I can do. Hence why I need to be with my husband because it is the only place I can stay/live without all this filth. Basically there is no way in hell my parents will let me do anything I need/want without their complete approval and I feel like a child again...I'm too old for this, hence why I'm not fighting back. It's their house and it's nice enough of them to "try" to put their differences aside and pay for my education after every awful thing they "think" I did to them.

I think I will file i130 from here, wait for the noa1 and then takeoff to be with my husband and do everything from there...using the private mail box. I think it would be best. I do have a joint sponsor that is more than willing to file the aos for us and send in his financial information...I just hope my lack of financial docs/info won't be a problem. What if I got a bank account/checking account and used it for a month...putting money in taking it out stuff like that...getting a debit card and such. Could I use the statements as financial info? would that be enough on my side incl. the joint sponsors stuff?

I hope everyone isn't getting fed up with all of my questions....

Edited December 29, 2008 by MumtazG38

[MumtazG38 1]

BTW....could someone please move this topic to the ir1/cr1 board??? I'd like to avoid confusion if at all possible, seeing as I have already decided that I'll be filing for the cr1.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

start now still, get out of your parents house, learn life, get a job and you left everything you own with him. If its like Morocco he cant send money out to you. This family he can stay with, its his? because you said yours wont accept? Often already having connecting family here can become a prob at visa time. Maybe you just need go stay there since your not established long term here, if your old enough to travel there and marry your old enough to be on your own, making your own decisions not under your parents thumb and accepting their living help. Seems your going from one comfort of living with the parents to one (what you expect) another comfort of living under your husbands support.

[taj'samericanwife 0]

asking you to get a job doesnt mean you are doing all the work or whatever, its just so you can have something to show for the AOS. that you are stable and you have a job. believe us when we say it is going to help and you guys really need it.

well mumtaz you have to get on your feet on this...you cant just be saying oh yeah my husband will do this and that...you are the petitioner which means it is your responsibility.if you really want your husband here then it means breaking out and getting your own life. if your parents want you to continue studying then good but you can still hold a job on the side. as for visiting him...i suggest you save that money.

if you have known each other for a while now even before you were married then it wouldn't be so hard to show your bona fide marriage. trust in your marriage, it seems to me you are having doubts that your hubby is using you for the visa?

[SunDrop 59]

He already has something to come to, a well paying job waiting, a family to stay with and assets/money/property of his own plus a import/exporting business back home which he owns to help support himself...and yes he will still keep receiving the money from these things once here. On top of this, we already have around $1500 for when the time comes(as I left all my money and most of my jewelry with him in Pakistan... because I thought I would be coming back in a few months)....he will be sending me the amount as I need it.

May I be honest? It sounds like the only thing he doesn't have for his life in the US is a Green Card. You travelled abroad, having come from a sheltered home, and in less than 3 months met and married a man with whom you then left all your personal assets?

Coming from the family environment you grew up in, it doesn't sound like you will have had much opportunity, if any, to experience relationships. Your age is also a factor - I was a very mature 22 when I married, with several long term relationships (over a matter of years) and I was far, far too young. Didn't have a clue about myself and who I really am.

Can you see what people are trying to say to you? The USCIS/ US embassy are going to be looking at your circumstances and be incredibly suspicious. He's got a relative who will provide for him financially in the US and has now found a naiive 20 year old USC to clear the quickest passage available - immigration through marriage.

How different does it sound to say "my parents wouldn't support me, so I decided to get a job and move out so I could work towards contributing to our life when he gets here" or "my parents wouldn't support me, but that doesn't matter because he's already got a life lined up for him when he arrives that will support the 2 of us comfortably."

Marriage visas are intended for couples in loving relationships - this is what the USCIS is looking for. I'm not saying that you don't love each other, I am saying that right now, it doesn't appear that you are.

You've stacked your plate high with obstacles, and everyone at VJ can help you handle the obstacles that you'll face on an administrative level in applying for the visa. The only other thing we can offer is advice based on the 'be there, done that" and life experiences. It's up to you to decide which you take.

[MumtazG38 1]

asking you to get a job doesnt mean you are doing all the work or whatever, its just so you can have something to show for the AOS. that you are stable and you have a job. believe us when we say it is going to help and you guys really need it.

well mumtaz you have to get on your feet on this...you cant just be saying oh yeah my husband will do this and that...you are the petitioner which means it is your responsibility.if you really want your husband here then it means breaking out and getting your own life. if your parents want you to continue studying then good but you can still hold a job on the side. as for visiting him...i suggest you save that money.

if you have known each other for a while now even before you were married then it wouldn't be so hard to show your bona fide marriage. trust in your marriage, it seems to me you are having doubts that your hubby is using you for the visa?

okay...firstly. taj'samericanwife...you couldn't be more wrong honey, I've never had doubts about my husband, and he has never given me any reason to. If asking questions about this confusing process means that I have doubts about my husband then well why the heck are any of us here. It isn't right for you to assume something so vain just because I am trying to figure things out, and not mess things up rather. Also, you keep assuming that my issue lies with proving the bonifides of my marriage and you are wrong again. My main issue is the fact that I am unemployed but have a joint sponsor with 459.18% above FPL (Federal Poverty Level) and would like to use that to my benefit, rather than against me.

Let me clarify...I do not have doubts that I am being used for a visa. My husband has never given me any reason to think such a thing. I've known my husband for 17 years now and we've been best friends through thick and thin together..and personally I think he deserves a bit more credit...and sorry if it seems that I'm possibly over reacting or something...Hope that clarify some things.

start now still, get out of your parents house, learn life, get a job and you left everything you own with him. If its like Morocco he cant send money out to you. This family he can stay with, its his? because you said yours wont accept? Often already having connecting family here can become a prob at visa time. Maybe you just need go stay there since your not established long term here, if your old enough to travel there and marry your old enough to be on your own, making your own decisions not under your parents thumb and accepting their living help. Seems your going from one comfort of living with the parents to one (what you expect) another comfort of living under your husbands support.

Yes, I would love to get a job and leave my parents house....such a dream come true. But the fact is that I do not have any money to get an apartment/room or any place to stay, I don't know anyone who would be willing to take me in for even a short time. The moment I get a job, I am kicked out. Final...and it's happened quite enough for me to know they mean business. As a muslim women...my father believes I either live as he says....or live as my husband says. Seeing as I made the mistake to come back from Pakistan to my parents home thinking things had changed....now I am trapped. My father in-fact is having such a field-day with the fact that I must follow his tricky little rules now no matter what as I don't have any place else to go, sometimes I even think this is his sweet revenge of sorts. So, either his house, his rules (no women work, they just cook and clean and learn to sew and do proper feminine things and thats all), or husbands house, husbands rules in my fathers book. And here lies the irony my father seems to enjoy so much. I can't see my husband now that I am trapped here, can't get a job or they will make me leave the moment they find out, and can't defy any of his rules (or get caught trying), or will be thrown out again (yes, he has done it before). In order to leave my parents house and - break out- as some would say I would need a place to stay first...a room...an apartment, studio...somewhere. In order to get that...I need a job. Can't get a job because the moment I do something so vile....I'm out. I believe my father quite enjoys this actually...

So as you can see....or not...it's not as it seems. and no it's not the comfort thing thats the problem for me....it's the inability to do more than what I have at the moment. And what I have at the moment may be alot, but it's just not enough. So that's why I want to go to Pakistan with my husband...because for the time being it is the only other home I have....a home where I have complete and total freedom and can do as needs be to not only get this process taken care of, but to get out there and live, like you say.

Well...I can see by some responses that I have truly begun to get quite annoying with all these menial questions . I think it's about time I just file already and get it started. Cause I'm just beating around the bush.....and thats just getting me to go in circles and get to no place at all.

Hi SunDrop......I suggest to check out my story on my profile?Help catch ya up a little.

Edited December 29, 2008 by MumtazG38

[geezer 1]

Got there, stick to your plan and good luck. You are the only one that knows what is best in your situation

[pushbrk 12,105]

Got there, stick to your plan and good luck. You are the only one that knows what is best in your situation

Yes, based on your family situation, it would appear the best solution is to go and live with your husband now. Then deal with the visa through DCF. What's the important thing, to be together or for him to be in the USA?