I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE PHILIPPINES!!!

[deadwood 0]

I think everyone needs to hold off on advice until she explains what they are fighting about. Is it normal everyday married things or are they taking swings and throwing things at each other. Could it be he isn't agreeing with everything she wants to do. I know when my wife first arrive she wanted to start changing everything and said I hold on a second. I'm not tossing everything out the door just so you can buy new stuff and she got her panties in a knot over that.

Plus my opinion on writing e-mail and chats is why write like a retard just because it's a chat or e-mail.

huh? how do u know everything isn't wrote like a retard did it. you just assume only chats and email's ?

[Damian P 92]

I think it would be better to just go. If you are being this miserable and whiny at home, I'm sure your new husband would probably be happy to send you back to the Philippines. Overjoyed, even.

[Gemmie 142]

Don't be cruel to the OP who has found that she is not happy and is expressing her thoughts.

Why not? Seriously. Tell me why I shouldn't.

Who determines what is mean and/or cruel?

Is truth cruel?

Is there some High Council of Druids who determine what someone is allowed to say and what they aren't? What are the punishments?

Should people lie and not tell the truth if that truth is "mean"?

Should people follow the oft-quoted addage "If you can't say something nice, STFU"? Why?

You want me to tell you why you shouldn't be cruel to someone? Because it's not needed, the OP was expressing how upset she's been since moving to the US. It doesn't matter that she's from another country really, if ANYONE told me that they were really unhappy in their marriage and didn't know what to do, I wouldn't tell them that they should just leave because their partners were probably sick of their whining anyway.

And if you want to play that game, who is to say what "whining" is? As far as we know, she hasn't even spoken to her husband about how she's feeling yet, just trying to work it out in herself and turning to others in a similar situation. And who says that it's the "truth" that she's whiny? You?

Anyways, let's not argue over semantics. If you don't think it's cruel, fair enough. I just think people needing support should get that.

[NickD 202]

Thousands of Americans died trying to defend the Philippines during WW II, my uncle was one of them. The Philippines had the opportunity to become a US state, but they preferred to elect a dictator instead, so much for history. But if gone the other way, wouldn't be an AOS question.

As the dad of four daughters, one step, one adopted, two the hard way with this mating game, got to be old hat. Dad, I just met the most wonderful guy in the world, I meet him, like him, but a day, week, or month later, he's the worse jerk in the world and I never see him again.

So what happened with this relationship of the OP, everything silky smooth then bitter and rotten with the only defining line being that "I do" statement?

What is the husbands point of view, not hearing the words comforting, but sure hearing the word, arguments. If a church wedding, do the angels from heaven carry down the Holy Spirit, endow the couple with some form of magic that changes everything? Most likely, just like Santa brings toys down the chimney, Easter bunny brings eggs, and the tooth fairy leaves a buck under the pillow.

Either you are both personality and biologically compatible or you are not, and it takes time to find this out, really pushed this on my own kids. Then also the question of immaturity, just too dang young to get married, two can live cheaply as one, and everything will work out. Fat chance of that happening, does this couple even know the difference between love and infatuation? Ha, met guys that wanted to go home to mama after being married, that didn't work out either.

But each and every situation is different, but feel it is down right stupid to marry a person you don't even know. They make marriage so easy, almost a conspiracy, as they know they are going to get rich off of your divorce. Today a marriage lasting has the same odds of flipping a coin. Those are not very good odds.

[sj5 4]

Fighting every other day "suck him"(I'm just kidding) I mean, you should talk to him if does not work then just go back in Philippines. Don't worry about your divorce. Good luck to you. Edited August 3, 2008 by SJ

[envy_me 18]

I think everyone needs to hold off on advice until she explains what they are fighting about.

i think so..

[hitchoo 0]

Don't be cruel to the OP who has found that she is not happy and is expressing her thoughts.

Why not? Seriously. Tell me why I shouldn't.

Who determines what is mean and/or cruel?

Is truth cruel?

Is there some High Council of Druids who determine what someone is allowed to say and what they aren't? What are the punishments?

Should people lie and not tell the truth if that truth is "mean"?

Should people follow the oft-quoted addage "If you can't say something nice, STFU"? Why?

You want me to tell you why you shouldn't be cruel to someone? Because it's not needed, the OP was expressing how upset she's been since moving to the US. It doesn't matter that she's from another country really, if ANYONE told me that they were really unhappy in their marriage and didn't know what to do, I wouldn't tell them that they should just leave because their partners were probably sick of their whining anyway.

And if you want to play that game, who is to say what "whining" is? As far as we know, she hasn't even spoken to her husband about how she's feeling yet, just trying to work it out in herself and turning to others in a similar situation. And who says that it's the "truth" that she's whiny? You?

Anyways, let's not argue over semantics. If you don't think it's cruel, fair enough. I just think people needing support should get that.

high-minded , Noble:thumbs:

Edited August 3, 2008 by hitchoo

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

Fighting every other day "suck him"(I'm just kidding) I mean, you should talk to him if does not work then just go back in Philippines. Don't worry about your divorce. Good luck to you.

it is kinda difficult to have an argument then ain't it?

[NickD 202]

Fighting every other day "suck him"(I'm just kidding) I mean, you should talk to him if does not work then just go back in Philippines. Don't worry about your divorce. Good luck to you.

it is kinda difficult to have an argument then ain't it?

LOL, maybe the rest of us want to go to the Philippines, we could be missing out on something.

[Completely 3]

I am already here w/ my "husband" in the US. But i feel like i am in HELL whenever we are fighting or arguing something about. I really want to go back to the Philippines to get rid of this. Honestly, i still thought why i married him. Actually, the first time i met his family was Horrible for me. I don't know. His brother was obviously doesn't like me for him for whatever the reason he has. I don't know if i am just being pathetic or over reacting on something i do not like. I don't know if this is because i am bored or the homesick. I was out of my mind when i agreed to marry him for i thought i will be happy with him. Btw, we've just married last month JULY 21 but we are already fighting almost every other day.

Can please someone tell me what will be the effect if I will go back to the Philippines on my AOS?

It would be okay for me if my husband and i will not continue this fuc*ing AOS and instead just file for the divorce or will it be automatically if i go back to my country?

I never been happy after i marry him and If i can only turn back time I shouldn't marry him and thought million times to do such shi* like this.

I just arrived here also in U.S. last July 4 and haven't married,at times i am just observing if we both meant to each other.But i see now things smooth for both of us.

Just keep your patient to his relatives and don't mind them if they will not like you...who cares?

#### his brother off!!!!!!!!!!! just be with your husband and stay home if you do not like to be with his relatives...okay? don't give-up gurl!

you are now in U.S. there's alot of Filipino wants to be here...you must be glad you're one of the luckiest person to be here.

Interesting thing to say coming from a filipina So it's "luck" that you're here and not love?

Baxxy,, thats a good one.. and you are right lots of them not only Filipinos per say think that when you come to the US it will be a BED of ROSES.. they dont know that people work hard to get the life they are living now.. If you can not work being in the US is useless but worthful to be with the one you love.. I love this post...

Edited August 4, 2008 by Completely

[Gemmie 142]

Reading the OP again, I would say that it's probably just the stress of adjusting of living together and being married that is the problem; BUT the fact that you are already wanting to move back home and get divorced says quite a lot about how you feel about the relationship.

Relationships, marriage in particular, need WORK to get through bad times, otherwise you'll never make it through anything! It's only been a few weeks... I would never simply give up and consider moving back after all the times we've shared.

[NickD 202]

Reading the OP again, I would say that it's probably just the stress of adjusting of living together and being married that is the problem; BUT the fact that you are already wanting to move back home and get divorced says quite a lot about how you feel about the relationship.

Relationships, marriage in particular, need WORK to get through bad times, otherwise you'll never make it through anything! It's only been a few weeks... I would never simply give up and consider moving back after all the times we've shared.

In analyzing my first failed marriage from the very first time I met my wife, our dating, marriage, not saying it's either her fault or mine, came to the conclusion that we both had an IQ of far less than three and should have never been married in the first place. Always arguments and fightings, on the basis of it takes two to argue, took the position that I would not argue back, it's a hell of a way to live. Yes it took work, years of professional and religious counseling, and blinded by all this, didn't pay attention to the damage that was being done to our children.

Another hard lesson I learned was family interference, swore I would never interfere with the lives of my kids. After eight years of paying off huge divorce bills and raising my kids, felt I was in no position to seek a new mate, but got debt free, even a couple of bucks in the bank, and just my dog and me living alone in a big house, but was still bitter about women in general. One day my son comes home with a new girl friend, gee she was terrific, they are happily married now, but maybe I should give this one more chance. Did join several singles clubs, lots of prospects out there but you don't find virgins at my age.

Narrowed the field with divorced women with children with joint custody, that never works, friends that went that route had a grand central station for a home ending up in another divorce. But my key parameter was to find a woman that I would never want to change, maybe I met hundreds of women, maybe thousands. Talk about work, it's a lot of work to find the right mate and if it gets to be work, it's no longer fun. Funny thing about fun is that you can expend a lot more of your energy having fun than dreary work, but still have plenty of energy left, but dead tired after work. Said the heck with finding a mate, but by some miracle, and it is a miracle, met my wife. Can't described it, but from the very first moment, knew deep inside she was the right one, and she had the same feelings about me. And when I did ask her to marry me, she said yes almost before I finished the question.

We had our problems, but somehow we could talk about these, never had an argument, sometimes she came up with an ingenious solution other times it was me. I tease her about home decor, given her 90% of the vote, but she has given me that with the finances. She put me first in her life, and I put her first in my life, that is the way it should be, and after over six years of knowing her, still have a list of zero things I want to change with her.

Worse part of our life was dealing with the slowness of the USCIS, over a year before I could bring her here, and when ever there was a riot in her country feared for her safety, hours turned to an eternity until I could finally contact her to know she was alright.. That is the bad part of being in love, get that terrible pain you never had before. Even told myself that many times. But the joy of seeing her smile every morning with still strong memories of when she wasn't here.

We do have very different tastes in music, took her to a rock concert Friday night, ha, I am one of these idiots that composers went downhill after Beethoven. She said she would go alone, said no way, I am taking you, it was a pure joy for me to see how happy she was, but shouldn't mention the reward I received when we got home. That is the way a marriage should be and to read about fights or having to work on it can only lead to one spouse looking elsewhere. While I was faithful to my vows in my previous marriage, was sure looking elsewhere and perhaps dreaming about it. Shouldn't be that way, you should only covet your own wife or husband. And it can be that way if you meet the right one.

We are at the close of our USCIS journey, ha, wondering if we can live without them in our lives, they sure have been a strong part of it.

[TBoneTX 43,041]

That's beautiful, man, and I hope that the OP reads every word and takes heed.

[Colada 0]

How come the Charramal hasn't posted a single post to respond? And all of us are so concern about her situation?

[wifetobe 2]

I am already here w/ my "husband" in the US. But i feel like i am in HELL whenever we are fighting or arguing something about. I really want to go back to the Philippines to get rid of this. Honestly, i still thought why i married him. Actually, the first time i met his family was Horrible for me. I don't know. His brother was obviously doesn't like me for him for whatever the reason he has. I don't know if i am just being pathetic or over reacting on something i do not like. I don't know if this is because i am bored or the homesick. I was out of my mind when i agreed to marry him for i thought i will be happy with him. Btw, we've just married last month JULY 21 but we are already fighting almost every other day.

Can please someone tell me what will be the effect if I will go back to the Philippines on my AOS?

It would be okay for me if my husband and i will not continue this fuc*ing AOS and instead just file for the divorce or will it be automatically if i go back to my country?

I never been happy after i marry him and If i can only turn back time I shouldn't marry him and thought million times to do such shi* like this.

If you talk as "dirty" [bastos] as you type I sure wouldn't want you for a relative. Let alone a husband.

Why don't you ease up Can't you see the girl is upset and needs support from the one place she knows might restore a little comfort? Jeez no need for that. What if you had an a-hole for a brother in law?

To the OP I feel your pain but you may be feeling it temporarily. Give it a little 'give and take' thang, communicate your differences and see if you can work through them. If you love each other just that little bit more I am sure things will start to iron out nicely.. don't give up before you've barely even been married, that's my advice because the amount of time it took for you to be with eachother I'm sure was worth it. It's natural to be feeling homesick and this could be part of the problem too. It's the adjusting and a whole different country to get used to, and they say that it takes 7 years to adjust.. give it at least a few more moons and see how you feel then.. I really hope the best for you guys either way