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charramal

I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE PHILIPPINES!!!

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don't worry what other people think. if ur not happy, just go. but remember. u r pinoy, and there is no divorce for a true pinoy. the shame is other couples are still waiting for their chance to be together. and if u just quit. ur time through the system was wasted time.

It's go nothing to do with wasted time. It's an experience, and one or perhaps two can learn from it. 'The shame is other couples are still waiting for their chance to be together' and so what has this got to do with a married couple not working out right now? You've lost me.

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i dont think you should feel lucky to be here just because other filipinas want to be here and they not given a chance to be here.. :no:

love matters i think, it's just a plus that you're SO is from the US.. :blush:

I think she is LUCKY she fell in LOVE with an American...

To have felt Love PERIOD is the Luckiest of them all IMO. I have never heard such a thing before >> lucky to have fallen in love with an American..what? :blink:

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you are now in U.S. there's alot of Filipino wants to be here...you must be glad you're one of the luckiest person to be here...be Patient and most of all don't forget GOD.okay?

I am a Filipina but I don't think going to the US is considered being lucky. :wacko::wacko::wacko: I never dream of settling in the US it just so happen that I love someone who is in the US. Should he choose to come and live here in the Philippines with me (which is part of our retirement plan later actually) I would still consider myself the LUCKIEST & MOST BLESSED woman on earth. Being WITH MY MAN no matter where in the world: that is my greatest luck and greatest blessing. After all, there are a lot of people who spends a lifetime searching for love but couldn't find it. just my 2 cents worth.

To Charramal: To be oh so young and... MARRIED. You might not post a reply but I know somehow you read the replies here.

There is a saying here in the Philippines which you've probably heard, "Ang pag-aasawa ay di parang kaning isusubo na pwedeng iluwa kapag ikaw ay napaso." (Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. Marriage isn't like eating rice, spitting it out the moment you realize that it is very hot.)

It is normal not to feel good when you are in a heated argument. But arguments is just part of married life. Even siblings who grew up in the same environment quarrel from time to time how much more two people who only meet when they were both adults already?

It is too early to quit on your marriage, you've only been together a few months.. if you will not learn how to handle differences with your husband and just give up, how sure are you that the next guy in your life will be any better? that you would end up arguing again and again? If your husband is not abusing and physically assaulting you then please do try to talk it out when you are both calmer....try getting marriage counseling and see if it might help.

And, I hope you are not having ill feelings towards your husband just because his brother seems not to like you. It is not your husbands fault so I hope you can separate the feeling of dismay towards the brother and the feelings of frustrations towards your husband.

I do hope and pray that you and your husband will be able to work on the differences.

God be your guide always. (F)

Edited by dbears

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
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you are now in U.S. there's alot of Filipino wants to be here...you must be glad you're one of the luckiest person to be here...be Patient and most of all don't forget GOD.okay?

I am a Filipina but I don't think going to the US is considered being lucky. :wacko::wacko::wacko: I never dream of settling in the US it just so happen that I love someone who is in the US. Should he choose to come and live here in the Philippines with me (which is part of our retirement plan later actually) I would still consider myself the LUCKIEST & MOST BLESSED woman on earth. Being WITH MY MAN no matter where in the world: that is my greatest luck and greatest blessing. After all, there are a lot of people who spends a lifetime searching for love but couldn't find it. just my 2 cents worth.

To Charramal: To be oh so young and... MARRIED. You might not post a reply but I know somehow you read the replies here.

There is a saying here in the Philippines which you've probably heard, "Ang pag-aasawa ay di parang kaning isusubo na pwedeng iluwa kapag ikaw ay napaso." (Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. Marriage isn't like eating rice, spitting it out the moment you realize that it is very hot.)

It is normal not to feel good when you are in a heated argument. But arguments is just part of married life. Even siblings who grew up in the same environment quarrel from time to time how much more two people who only meet when they were both adults already?

It is too early to quit on your marriage, you've only been together a few months.. if you will not learn how to handle differences with your husband and just give up, how sure are you that the next guy in your life will be any better? that you would end up arguing again and again? If your husband is not abusing and physically assaulting you then please do try to talk it out when you are both calmer....try getting marriage counseling and see if it might help.

And, I hope you are not having ill feelings towards your husband just because his brother seems not to like you. It is not your husbands fault so I hope you can separate the feeling of dismay towards the brother and the feelings of frustrations towards your husband.

I do hope and pray that you and your husband will be able to work on the differences.

God be your guide always. (F)

Good advise Ate Gay!!!

Charramal, hope you will realized and learned...

GOD BLESS YOU!!!

Edited by Rodge & Ninfa

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WOW I DON'T THINK BEING MARRIED TO AN US CITEZEN IS A BLESSING, IT'S A BLESSING TO BE MARRIED TO A WONDERFUL MAN THAT REALLY KNOWS HOW TO TREAT YOU!!!! I THINK YOU SHOULD TRY TO HAVE A MORE INDEPENDENT LIFE THERE, GET NEW FRIENDS, ENJOY EVERYTHING THAT YOU CAN ENJOY, AND ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW SAD AND FRUSTRATING THE JOURNEY TO GET THERE WAS

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I'd say filipinas that end up with a loving husband and living in the US are "lucky"[hubby is also]. Beats being a overseas contract worker in Dubai to help support your families back home.

K1 denied, K3/K4, CR-1/CR-2, AOS, ROC, Adoption, US citizenship and dual citizenship

!! ALL PAU!

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To the poster that responded to my post, your post was beautiful and I'm so happy that you've found someone that you truly connect with! :)

Just one thing though:

That is the way a marriage should be and to read about fights or having to work on it can only lead to one spouse looking elsewhere. While I was faithful to my vows in my previous marriage, was sure looking elsewhere and perhaps dreaming about it. Shouldn't be that way, you should only covet your own wife or husband. And it can be that way if you meet the right one.

I wouldn't totally agree with this part, as couples fight all the time and have to work on their marriage but it doesn't mean that they aren't right for each other. It's just a natural part of sharing your life with someone. Of course some couples find that they don't experience that, but there are others that do. My fiancee and I argue sometimes, and there are things we have to work on (me trying to calm down when we come into stressful situations and him being a bit more pro-active), though we both love each other so much and know how lucky we are to have found each other.

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I'd say filipinas that end up with a loving husband and living in the US are "lucky"[hubby is also]. Beats being a overseas contract worker in Dubai to help support your families back home.

Then why not apply for a work visa then? Why get married if you need to earn wages? That is what you are saying isn't it?

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I think she is LUCKY she fell in LOVE with an American...

I disagree... she's not lucky because she fell in love with an American.. :wacko:

doesn't matter what nationality you fell in love with, it's the true love that you fell is the most important.

Being here in USA is not lucky too just because you want to be here for other reasons than to be with the man you love...

for me, I really don't care if we will live in PI or USA or wherever country as long as we are together and helping and loving each other.

I came here in USA because I want to be with the man I love, I tried to convinced him that we will just stay in PI because I'm sad leaving my mom, he tried to stay for 4 months for me, but he didn't survived or shall I say, he chose.... to live here in USA than in Phil.... so that's why we are here in USA now but I am not lucky because I'm here, I'm blessed because I am loved sincerely and I fell the same too :star:

To the OP, hope you will talk sincerely and communicate the best way you both can.

As dbears said (Ate Gay) please try to make your marriage work as long as he didn't treat you bad and abuse you.

Good luck

Hope your marriage will work out.

Edited by I luv my chappara
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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I am already here w/ my "husband" in the US. But i feel like i am in HELL whenever we are fighting or arguing something about. I really want to go back to the Philippines to get rid of this. Honestly, i still thought why i married him. Actually, the first time i met his family was Horrible for me. I don't know. His brother was obviously doesn't like me for him for whatever the reason he has. I don't know if i am just being pathetic or over reacting on something i do not like. I don't know if this is because i am bored or the homesick. I was out of my mind when i agreed to marry him for i thought i will be happy with him. Btw, we've just married last month JULY 21 but we are already fighting almost every other day. :angry:

Can please someone tell me what will be the effect if I will go back to the Philippines on my AOS?

It would be okay for me if my husband and i will not continue this fuc*ing AOS and instead just file for the divorce or will it be automatically if i go back to my country?

I never been happy after i marry him and If i can only turn back time I shouldn't marry him and thought million times to do such shi* like this. :crying:

its so bad to hear about your story...im just new here in the US also,i came here last May...the first week im here was so good...then on the second week we are about to get married but things comes unexpectedly which makes our wedding postponed...its a long story,i know most of the VJ memebers here remember my story....i almost decided to go back to philippines and not marry him...i tried to open up my story here in VJ to get some advice which makes me more confused what to decide..i take their advices but still in the end i need to decide on my own.... i am still thankful for my VJ family who shared their ideas...and it took maybe three weeks for me to decide to stay or to go back to phils...we do have arguments by that time...he dont use force when we argue..in fact,i have alot of words which hurts him so much...then i came to realize that if i will go i know i will be hurt because I LOVE HIM and i know he feel the same way too....what we did was,we talked and we accepted that we do have some imperfections and we did some mistakes and we decided to change those things and start a new one...i know i just feel homesick by that time..so i stayed and we got married..we are both happy now and no more arguments...

try to talk with ur SO...have a heart to heart talk with him,it really helps..and ask urself also why u have arguments always,is it because of you or because him?and dont forget to ask giudance from GOD..in his hands everything is possible...try to save ur marriage if you can..maybe you just need time to adjust your new place...having here in US has alot of adjustments to be done,..its not easy to adjust the place which is exactly opposite from where came...me, i did alot of adjustments here and its not easy...i always pray that god will give me more patience and im thankful i made it...

also,dont just look on the negative side,the more you do that,the more it will turned you off...if you can still save it, try to stay...

may god enlighten your minds both of you and hope everything will turn out fine..

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you are not the only couple who fights sweetie

I am always surprised to hear people having such problems so early on in their relationship

surely you should know how your SO is BEFORE you get married

THIS IS YOUR LIFE

think about what is MOST important to you

and if you take your vows for life, it is a long life so you better make sure you want this and you will be happy

nothing worse than being miserable and unhappy

besides your SO should bring out the best in you, love you, adore you and put you before anyone else

i guess some people marry for various reasons but the MOST IMPORTANT reason should be LOVE

I think if you are having such problems now it would probably get worse as the stress of REAL LIFE kicks in but you are in a major transition of your life...#1 marriage #2 moving to a foreign place

good luck, and hang in there!

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I'd say filipinas that end up with a loving husband and living in the US are "lucky"[hubby is also]. Beats being a overseas contract worker in Dubai to help support your families back home.

Then why not apply for a work visa then? Why get married if you need to earn wages? That is what you are saying isn't it?

Very few Filipinos can qualify for work visas to the US. Almost impossible to get a tourist visa in the Philippines also.

K1 denied, K3/K4, CR-1/CR-2, AOS, ROC, Adoption, US citizenship and dual citizenship

!! ALL PAU!

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i dont think you should feel lucky to be here just because other filipinas want to be here and they not given a chance to be here.. :no:

love matters i think, it's just a plus that you're SO is from the US.. :blush:

I think she is LUCKY she fell in LOVE with an American...

What's lucky about falling in love with an American?

I speak my mind, so please don't take it personally.

I'm here at VJ to help 'Reshape the Filipina Image Online.' <- click

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Filed: Timeline
don't worry what other people think. if ur not happy, just go. but remember. u r pinoy, and there is no divorce for a true pinoy. the shame is other couples are still waiting for their chance to be together. and if u just quit. ur time through the system was wasted time.

There's no divorce for a true Pinoy? What's that supposed to mean? Very idiotic statement. I sure hope you are being sarcastic.

I speak my mind, so please don't take it personally.

I'm here at VJ to help 'Reshape the Filipina Image Online.' <- click

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In any relationship, it takes 2 to tango. It is a 2 way street. There are certain adjustments after getting married, both of you must learn how to adapt and adjust to each other's attitude. You will learn more about your partner because you will be living in one roof. Communication is a very essential tool. Why not try to just sit down and talk things out rather than fighting? Reflect and think about your current situation. The pros and cons. Why did you marry him? Only you could answer that question. The only reason for 2 people to enter marriage must be LOVE. Best of luck.. :innocent:

I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all that I am, in the only way I know how -- completely and forever......

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