I had a 4 year old daughter from my past boyfriend. Her name was in the application although my hubby and I haven't talk of petitioning her, maybe when I get adjusted with the place and get a stable job, that's when the time, But for now, Its only me. My hubby knew everything about her, my past etc. My question is, what could be the best answer if the consul ask why my daughter is not coming with me. Plus my daughter and hubby don't have pictures together.
Would it be a problem? or a lot of people do that?

Coz I'm thnking its really hard to moving from one country to another> I need to adjust first with the country and with my hubby. We want to enjoy each other's company, and I want to work.

If you have adjusted to your new life with your husband after K1, do you think he will petition for your daughter? or shall I ask, don't you think it will be probable that he will just convince you to just send her money to support her anyway it's his say after all... just some thoughts that you might want to consider... may you decide for what's for the best to both you and your daughter...btw, how come your daughter don't have any pics with your fiance?

My daughter is a shy type of girl, she's not that close to my hubby. and btw, I'm into k3 visa. thanks cjthel, but you haven't answered my question.

Maybe this thread will http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...topic=99293help you since it sounds similar:

Hello , Im the same visa category as u are , I have3 kids from my 1st marriage and i am married now with a 26 yrs old american guy , which i am lucky coz from the start of our relationship i also told him i have 3 kids and i make myself clear that they are part of me and i cant left them behind , so he must decide if he still want to continue the talking and go further to the relationship , I just want to say I agree with what cjthel tell u , what if ur already adjusted and settled there how sure u are ur hubby will petitioned her ? i dont want to be rude but a single kid that age 4 yrs old is not very hard to bring on with u and start the life there with ur daughter, i do understand u want first to make sure wat life u will be have there , but also make sure that u will not be force to leave ur daughter behind in the long run , as for ur question the consul will surely ask why u will leave behind ur 4yr old since she is derivative to ur petition i think the best is that u will have to wait until ur settled there but u will make sure that within 1yr when ur visa approved u will get her. And by the way all my kids are coming same time with me on the 12th of this month.

i agree with irene, she is your daughter and she is still a part of your family. 4 year olds can adjust easily to a new environment compared to when they get older. my husband was the one who demanded that i bring my 10 year old daughter from my first marriage to US with me so he can easily established the role of being a father to her as early as he can. i hope you will reconsider getting her a visa and then she can follow within one year. kids needs their parents.

yeah, for that I agree. But thank you guys for understanding. Let me clarify, I'am not married with the father of my daughter., and you definitely got it right Irene, I'm not sure what kind of life I will be facing there,plus I love my husband so much. But you haven't answered my question yet, what could be the best answer when the consul ask me why my daughter is not coming with me?

i cant give you a definite answer but i can give you my opinion. if i am in your shoes, i will tell the consul the reasons you have posted here. telling something other than the truth is kinda hard to muster if you are nervous and everything.

MY eldest is government scholar..my 2nd child is first year high school..I told the pre-screener that I dont like them to move bec it will be hard for them to adjust ..and besides its cheaper here in PI to study..I told that they will follow me when they finish college..my eldest will be first year college nxt year...just think what will be the best answer..on my case im surprised wth the questions but im quick to answer for 6 months reading evryday on VJ it helps me a lot but the best thing we did is our constant communication wth my Fiance..means evryday talking on phone and chatting so I know all whats there on my documents and its easy for me to answer.good luck

the answer is definitely , u want to adjust first and be settled there , but before the visa of ur daughter expired u will definitely getting her and thats within 1yr , coz if u will answer u want to spend time with ur husband it will look like u and husband dont want to involve that 4 yr old girl of urs , u know sometime in the interview they are tricky , so always answer fast and concrete dont give them any idea about negative thing , but again for me its good that u bring along ur daughter with u same time , coz me i have 8 , 7 and 5 yrs old , the 5 yrs old is a girl also and she is very excited to see her new dady now. And raquel is right its easier to adjust when young age rather than older age .

The best answer is the truth. Does that answer your question?

My wife is also not bringing her son to the US and honestly, I think for the same reasons you are. I was actually quite relieved to read your post because we are now not alone in the choice. I think you are doing the right thing for you if that is your choice. My wife also wants to work when she gets here and even though she never said it to me., it must be scary to leave your world behind and come to a new country. I can appreciate that she might want to make sure it is safe before she brings her son to live there. All I can say to you is that when she decides he is coming I am going to petition for him. He is a part of our family.
As far as answering the question, tell them the truth. You want to work when you come.

hello pechez,

I have two kids too. I think all you have to tell to the consul is what really in your heart. Tell them the truth why they are not going with you. Like you, I will also go first and see what my life is in the US. I also wanted to work too. If you think its best for her/him not to go with you or follow you later on, go for it.


Goodluck!!!

If it were my choice I would want to bring the child with me. Look at the opportunities that can be given to her and she would also not be away from her Mom.

For me, the best answer to any question is simply state the truth. If you feel your daughter should come later down the road while you adjust to life with your new husband, just say so! Telling the truth is really easy. Telling stories and trying to say what someone else "wants to hear" only make you look less than honest.

Just say what you are telling us: the truth.
Good luck, L.

My wife left behind her 3 year old son. We petitioned him as a K2 and he was issued a visa on November 19th with an expiration date of May 7th. She will return to the Philippines to get him before his visa expires. We were told we could get an extension by writing a letter to the Embassy. I am not comfortable with that option. Now we have to hurry to get her AOS filed so that she can get advanced parole. I wanted her to bring him when she came but she insisted that she wanted to adjust to life in the US first. We had to agree to disagree. We married last week. All is good.

Sorry to say that and I don´t wanna sound harsh but what kind of reasons are these? I don´t quite understand that. You aren´t sure what kind of life you will be facing? Well life with your husband. What kind of life are you facing now? ...Plus you love your husband so much? That´s why you are willing to leave your little kid behind? I just don´t get this sorry. Who is your daughter staying with while your are going to have fun with your husband like you pointed out?

I agree with this , i have both questioned in my mind , and i agree with jasman a 4yr old girl would have big opportunity in the states and if u telling coz ur not sure wat life u will have, is does mean ur not sure that u and ur husband will get along? this just a question , coz all of us filipina wants to work there so that what we can provide good life to our kids, but why do we have to choose to leave them behind if we can do that with them , and about the mom who did leave their kids im not saying its bad , it depend if the child has said no to go , but 4yr old is still 4yr old and as for what i see in my 5yr old girl , she is very excited to live in the states. Think of the time u will miss with ur daughter while ur gone , coz me i cant even leave my kids for 1 night, Im thankful to my husband he is the one insisting to get them same time with me , Me i dont also know wat would be my life there but im sure in wat i feel to my husband and im sure wat he feel to me , so its enough for me that we will be starting a new family in the states. Hope u think it over a million times pechez .GOODLUCK to ur interview

Thats good to hear that ur willing to petitioned ur son's fiance , Its really depend on the mother and for me the age of the child before u decide to leave them behind .

thank you guys for all your opinions. I'll do and think about the best answer based from your insights. Than you so much!!

Sorry, I am not able to help answer that question either, but I will put here what I think is important so you don't wait too long to petition for the child. You have only one year from the date you get your visa approval to petition...

Derivative family members may apply for visas at the same time as the principal applicant or may apply at a later date to follow-to-join (FTJ) the principal applicant. For FTJ applicants, the Embassy will need to ascertain the status of the principal applicant to determine the eligibility of the derivative family members to join their principal. FTJ applicants of a principal with a K visa must be issued their visas within one year from the date the K visa was issued to the principal applicant parent. K derivatives must therefore apply for visas in a timely manner to ensure visa issuance within the required period.

Also there are several important things here to keep in mind for later when you file for Derivative family members: http://manila.usembassy.gov/wwwh3226.html

I agree with the others and just be honest with any questions you may be asked. I'm not trying to be judgemental, since I was in a similar position not long ago. we just made a different decision. I realize everyone's sitution is different, but to me the most important thing is to be together as a family. time lost with your daughter is time you will never be able to replace.
best of luck with whatever decisions you make. hope everything works out in the end.

Everyone should stop being so judgmental. We don't know all the circumstances. After all, the child needs both mother AND father. Sometimes it is best for a child to remain with the father and, if that is where he is, then the child may stay with him. Why does everyone always assume that the mother's role in a child's life is more important than the father's?

yes, that's right....sometimes it's indeed better for a child to stay with their Dad, it all depends on the circumstances and relationships, no question.

Please don't get me wrong, I do not want to judge anybody here, we don't know anything about the circumstances here....

I don't have any kids and I'm not a Mama yet, but I simply could not imagine going anywhere without my child. It would devastate me to leave my baby behind so far away, and not being able to care for it when it's sick or sad or cries...

I hope that pechez will make the right decision here....

Best of luck to you!

In answer to your question and from what you have shared I would say :
The reason we are waiting for my daughter to join us is because I want to be settled in first, get adjusted to the new environment, get a job and be able to provide well for her. In the meantime she is well taken care of by her father.
Short and to the point and truthful.
Then ask about the best procedure to bring her here and what will be needed to do so.
Best wishes !