Its easy to be blind in love and not believing into what bad things you have gut feelings about.

I can honestly say 85% of american women who are married with arabs or muslim men they are getting used and within 2 years they will be divorced becausee thats how long it takes for their husbands to obtain citzenship. Some men have gfs or wives before they meet these women and use them only because they are in poor situations or otherwise discovered. Alot of women get defensive when this kind of topic are brought up and those are the ones who usually are getting cheated on. Some ways to tell if your guy is true is if he is making input in calling you. My friend is married with an arab and he called her before he came to usa she didnt call him and he has 6 sisters to take care of. USA money is more than arab money units. He prooved alot to his wife and he was a poor man. ladies you should check your man. And another test you should proove is create a new id if you met him online because this is obviously how arabs are meeting other country women. Talk to him by another id as a different women from a different country. Ask him for his password to all his ids make him swear to his father or mothers life. I think all women in america and british countries they are searching for love but in wrong places. Be smart in your decisions ladies. if anybody needs help they can contact me because i have alot of knowledge about this type of experiences.

Thanks for the heads up. I had no idea.

Me either. What is this world coming to? 85%? From where did you come up with this number?

Jackie

Know what another great test is? Tell him you want to live in his country not in the US. That one's a doozy!

And this is the part where I gag myself.

*yawn*

My Aunt got screwed over by a Lebanese dude. She was the homliest looking thing in the world, always had an urge to give her a carrot or some sugar cubes. We all knew she was getting used............

Lebanese?

I work with a lebanese.......oh no...that's lesbian.. my bad.

Jackie

Thanks moody, good thing I didn't type Lesbian Dude

I agree it is wise to play it safe. But there are some people who don't to hear the messenger.

Thats it! Im cancelling all my plans. hahaha

Ohhhh my husband will be delighted to hear this! The wait won't be as long as we thought.

Now don't be too hard on the original poster. I am sure her intentions are good. And let's not forget there are scammers out there.

But nothing is a 100%.

As mentioned in a previous post...I have one dear friend of mine (american woman) married to a Libyan man for over 20 years, three children. Doing fine in the US.

Another two female friends (one French, the other American) married to Iranians and living in Iran.

Also a few young girls married to Kashmiris.

Maybe the original poster comes from a culture where "traditional, old fashioned" values of marrying someone from a similiar background prevails.

I know I have met muslims where the family would never consider their sons marrying "an outsider." I have also met my fair share of smooth talkers... Trying to woo me with their looks and charms.

Maybe you should see how your beloved's family treats you? Are you welcomed and loved as "one of the family" right away? Are you encouraged to stay and live with the family?

Does your significant other introduce you to his friends and collegues as his wife or soon to be wife? Do you do a lot of socializing with your significant others friends and families?

I think these are good ways to get a feel of how things are.

^^^^^^Even these aren't fool proof.

Keep your eyes and ears open. Be cautious and think with your head, not your heart.

LMFAO

Hells Bells, mine too!

hey share that popcorn

PS...It definately matters about the local culture...

I found Indians and Kashmiris, Pakistanis to be "family centric" about marriage matters. Especially if they are still living in "the old country." Heck, I met Kashmiri mothers who wouldn't even let their sons marry south indian muslim girls from Kerala. The girl had to be from Kashmir.

Iranians seemed different and more open minded. Maybe because they have zoastrians, christians, living amongst them.

Guess the op thinks that she is in the 15% who is with a man with good intentions. Notice how Algeria wasn't included in the headline...maybe she doesn't realize that Algeria is a MENA country.

there have been many stimulating, thought-provoking discussions about this topic on this site. the original post in this thread isn't one of them.

i liked the original poster's suggestions. as long as yr SO called you from his country, at his expense, yr in the clear. trying to chat with yr SO on a fake id and making him swear he's given you all his passwords are great tips too!

Ohhh... I just read that she is Algerian origin...
I guess I have to get rid of my husband after all... and he's so cute, I really wanted to keep him. Who am I to argue with those well calculated odds.

Making him swear on his mom and dad's life, no less. If my husband came home and suggested something like that, the temperature in here would drop right real quick.

I think she is Algerian American. Not of European descent.

Yep, I think there's a sage among us

Funny how in this post you went from your original 100 percent down to 85.... I feel you are being racist and over simplifying things. Every case is unique and though you actually believe you are trying to give advice I find it inaccurate,offensive and rude.

Thats it!! I want a divorce now!

Da*# I love you guys, you sure make me laugh1

You have yet to impress me with your "find out if he's using you" tests. If a man wants to come here and get a greencard, his family will love you and shower you with gifts. Those are definitely not very good ways to get a feel of how things are. Whether or not his family likes your personality isn't going to prove or disprove that a man is using a woman for a greencard.

yawn.

(Lexapro) (sorry, when I see that 'D' word, I get a little goofy, forgive me ya'll)

Jackie

Duuuuuh, if you tell him you want to live in his country and he accepts, then it's true love! Especially when after he says yes, you say "that's good to know, now let's get crackin' on your immigration papers".

Yea, like that.

J

darn guess i might as well file the divorce now and go back to all the lovely true faithful american men that never lie or cheat on their wife

bwahaha well since its the 85% fraud as she seems to think... then i will think of my sister and gfs who are married to Foreign guys and say 8 out of 10 of them have fraudulent suave husbands ... bwahahahah oh oh oh they going to be sooo mad to hear that their husbands are going to divorce them, run away with their kids and remarry SOON!


Just kidding gals ! maybe her intentions were good but they were WAYYY wrong and inaccurate... and YES, there is Fraud regardless of what country people come from. Maybe its a bit higher than other countries, then again maybe not. It happens bcz people will be people and only do whats in their heart and intentions to do. Doesnt mean most of our husbands are going to leave us... Take chances with love in life and be wise. Im not going to cry and think my husbands going to leave me bcz he's Egyptian... I have been treated terrible by American men but that doesnt mean that 85 % of them are evil !

This is the problem with women. When a woman trys to help another woman for now or future problems or cautions they dont take heed until a sign pops up then they'll run back to this post. Im studying law in immigration and part of what im studying we look at reality statistics. In our essays and assignments we actually have to GO and take note of whats going on. We've gone on yahoo, hotmail live messanger, hi5, etc.. and we've found that 85% of men who were married to american citizens or british women they didnt indicate they were married they still left the discussion of marriage open between them and our "bate-girl" on the webcam. Usually these men came from Egypt and Jordan and they were the men who spoke a bit of correct english. I am so interested into studying this because women deserve great lives but when they dont follow signs its really frustrating bec you start to feel the pain of that woman whos going thru being USED by a man who married her to only help his family with money. Im not saying every woman here her husband or bf or fiance is going to use her. Im talking to the women who are scared and they are unsure about their husbands or fiances because of certain gut feelings. Follow your gut feelings ladies God gave them for a REASON. Im just saying remember what respect you have as a woman. If you enjoy christianity religion you stick with it dont change it for your husband. Don't grasp his culture 100% and forget about your own culture. You are your own person. Another thing I wanted to add. In our polls the Arab/ Muslim men they were more likely to respect the women with a clear sexual history meaning women who were virgins before marriage, didnt have boyfriends, etc.. Some of the things we talked with Arab men online were scary about how they would "marry a nice old lady" to use her for a green card status or "its ok if the girl is young she can marry again" its not RIGHT to take a young american girls virginity and visa! and then throw her out there for another man to take her. To the ladies who agree with me Im glad you saw my intentions through my posts, and to the ignorant ones God be with you. Only time will tell and I pray everyone here has a great husband or fiance he wont abuse you for his family or neglect you and married you for the RIGHT reasons. I have come to know an american woman very beautiful but she was used by a Morroccan man. He would speak arabic with his family and leave her out of all conversations he didnt make her a part of what they were discussing. His sisters would complain about her and she didnt even know it His family was great to her but she stayed in one room all day sometimes with his sisters while her husband was with friends he said he was going to do papers for immigration but he was in the cafe or net cafe talking to other women. By Gods grace she found a picture of another girl in his email account she was a French Morroccan woman who he was explaining personal details about his visa and found out this woman was his 1st wife and the american was his 2nd wife. Its not to scare you but its for you to use caution until you have a gut feeling he is truthful with you. Goodluck ladies Sarah_aziz5535@yahoo.com is my email if you need any further help

Ladies DO be careful Arab men are usually very slick and they know what buttons to push and what not to push. Telling him you want to stay in his country he probably will know you want to stay in USA and are testing him. Don't follow by words only ACTIONS speak very loud and they will prove what a great husband you have. Goodluck!

wash biki girlfriend..

first let me clue you into something...Not all Algerians are arabs to begin with. Second , I know plenty of Algerians in happy long term relationships with westerners. Third, why would you come on the boards and insult Americans or westerners married to Algerians when it is very known that Algerian women themselves in France get used for papers? Who is to say that you ouechti are not going to be used for papers? You are not living in the bled and if your ideas are as back ### as I think they are.,,, You are actually in the kahba territory because you are living over here. Many hooker and dirty Algerian girls go abroad and try to wipe away their past so do not think so quickly about bashing western women. There was a radio transmission tonight on Algerian National Radio with Algerian men married to reverts and how happy they are and in fact there are many very happy American women with children living in Algeria, runnning different organizations, teaching school as well as Algerians living here and in Europe who have built families with western women..... You have no right to come on here and purport to speak for Algerian men whatsoever because frankly Algerian women living abroad have a terrible reputation back home. They are called Smagria and known for sleeping around..... yes there are women that get used for papers.... but there are people who have found the love of their life with MENA men... For you to come on these boards,,,, especially as an Algerian and bash your own people ( actually did you mention Algerian men?) oh you said arab is just pathetic...

I know what I said about dirty algerian women living abroad will ring a bell.... Many will take a much tougher look at An algerian who has left her family and isnt supervised than a western woman who has had to live that way all her life.

MARRIAGE BLANCHE can happen to Algerian, Moroccan or ARABIC women and it does... Discouraging women from being with who they love doesn't help... Each person is an individual...

*yawn* again. someone comes along every few weeks to say this same tired story. don't you think everyone here has thought about all that already? everyone here is an adult and is fully capable (i hope) of making their own decisions. if they have huge red flags warning them against there husband, and they choose to ignore it...so be it. we'll all find out in two years from when they get their permanent green card, right?

Hmmm... Now where have I seen this writing style ( I use it loosely)before?

hokay! who wants popcorn?

I beg to differ. 100% of the American men I have dated are evil. That's why I didnt pick one of them. Im quite happy with my Arab, 'slick' though he may be.


Thank you!

and i think i dated their sisters, the apple didn't fall far from the tree in that family

life isn't black and white. its a million shades of grey.

VIVE SLICK ARABS

I would say that it is not the women marring men from MENA countries who are showing ignorance here.

Your post is rude and condescending, very poor judgement posting this.

Yours is one of the slickest I know yassmine!!

Seriously though, this conversation has come up at least 5 times in the year I have been on VJ. We all know we are taking a chance and we all hope ours will not be one of the statistics. But if we spend all of our time trying to scrutinize their every move and word, the relationship will go down the toilet in a big hurry, and we'll be in the looney bin anyways. Thanks for the heads up, but we've heard this before.

To the woman who was stating we're all adults ok we can all talk about ANYTHING if we're all

adults! If youre a child youre obviously gonna whine and have an attitude about MY subject

if you dont like my post or it didnt portray to you why are you posting on my subject? Why

are any of the women who have attitudes with my post even replying to me? If you think its

rude or doesnt imply to you then GET off my subject this was to help the women who have

those "gut-feelings" Its so much easier helping men in trouble they either listen or reject

it its simple as that! Obviously all the ones who have given a rude reply theyre the ones

with the insecurity and somehow they feel im speaking directly to them because they actually

have those feelings of being scared from their spouses and theyre becomming so defensive. I

didnt post to piss anybody off or get rude responses from ADULTS if you are secure in your

relationship Thank god for you and if youre not im obviously gonna get a rude response about

how you dont like me posting this information up. Wahrania you should have some respect girl

and actually read all my posts before writing an essay to me. Every country has their share

of loser men. Algeria TOO. My posts and advice is strictly to those who are debating to

marry or not if their spouses are rushing them for the visa process for unknown reasons, if

they are scared, going through divorce on here or are thinking about a divorce who knows

maybe some of the people thinking of divorce will look to my signs and find out they have a

keeper? Some girls who took their men as haraam "bad" men will understand they really do

love them. My posts can contribute to both. Men are seriously less complicated than MOST

women I have even have stalkers on here copying and pasting my old posts!...sheeesh!