Now that's what I'm talking about! Tell us how you really feel, don't hold back. Welcome to the forum, nice to meet you!

I'm still not cleaning the cat #### box. And if it comes anywhere near my head, we won't have it anymore and won't have cats either. There may not even be a wife around here if that were to happen.

Although I understand what you're saying because I hear the same thing just about every single day, what you have to realize also is what Satellite (who is probably the MVP of the Russia Forum) posts on here is the truth as he sees it. He's usually backed up by factual evidence, so there's no getting around the fact that he's almost always spot-on when it comes to posting. Sure, he may be biased sometimes in the anti-Russian sense, but get to know him a little better before you start throwing stones his way. He has a right to be biased. Ask him.

And I'll even support him a little more in the aspect of relationship problems after arrival being caused by all things "Russian." Probably 75% of the problems in my personal relationship come from my spouse being unwilling or unable to accept that things are done differently here in the U.S. than they are in Russia and contrary to popular belief, we're not going to change things here to accomodate her just because she's attractive. There is a big difference in life here and life there. Just because Moscow has some rich people and there are too many cars on the road doesn't mean life is a certain way for all people. However, life here is a certain way for all people. It's busy. It's boring. It's monotonous. But, work hard at it and stay in "the system" for long enough and you will come out on top. The "system" is what's key here becuase it's the "system" that's not going to change to accomodate a Russian woman, it's the Russian woman that needs to change to be accomodated.

Satellite, along with most of the other VJ posters with wives already here and years already "served" will probably agree with me that the underlying cause of her unwillingness to adapt is the will to hold strong to being Russian and all that comes along with it. None of us are saying that you should start wearing pajamas to the grocery store so you can become Americanized but we are saying that you should start seeing that to make it here in the long run you can't just look pretty and expect to get by. It will work for a while, but it's not going to work forever and it's damn sure not going to work while you're married. Unless you're looking pretty while supporting your husband and being part of your family's system.

Things are different here. Please, stay "Russian" but don't avoid doing "American" things just because you are strong Russian woman. We get it. We like it. But please, enough already. Jump your "Russian" @$$ on the bandwagon with the rest of the girls wearing their pajamas. You can wear your "fashionable" clothes if you like. I like them too. But get in line all the same and quit telling me that you wouldn't have to wait in line in Russia because strong, beautiful woman not have to wait in line because husband or boyfriend must do his job and take care about business.

Here, we're in line together. If you don't want to wait in line together, then don't get in the line in the first place.

Thanks NavarreMan! It's our holiday VJ tradition!

Gentlemen,

Natalia and I have been discussing the recent posts. I have explained your words as best I could......... and I understand Natalia's position and what she would like to ask you. This is what Natalia would like you to explain. [Natalia speaking now.]

Men...... I have been reading your posts for many months now. It seems to me that one reason you were seeking russian women is that you were not very satisfied with the attitudes of american women. However, on the other hand, many of you either want your russian wife to conform to american attitudes........ or expect, with some resignation, that she will become americanized after a few short years - e.g. she will become fat and walk in home clothes outside, she will not want to care about house so much after she begins working outside the home. My question for you is this: Why do you marry russian women if you want (or resignedly expect) that she will soon become like the american women you were not so pleased with?

It seems to me like you walk around - try american women and are not happy - then find russian woman and are not happy with that. The russian woman must become more american for you soon. If you want the russian woman to become totally american in how she dresses and acts, then you should be happy with that........... but you are not.

What are your expectations? What do you really want?

JOKE FROM NATALIA that she wanted me to share with you:

American man: "Lena (Sveta, Olga, Irina,....) my russian sunshine , will you marry me? "

Russian woman: "NO ..... But I will always admire your good taste"

Welcome to our group, Natalia! Here's my answer:

When I was in the Navy, it was my job to learn as much about Russian/Soviet culture as I could. I can't say that I fell in love with the culture (we were in the "cold war," my attitude was one of studying the enemy), but I did come to respect the Russian people very much.

I did not set out to find a Russian woman. And I did not find a Russian woman because I was tired of American women. For me, it just happened through luck. I chatted with Nadya on the internet and found her to be very interesting and engaging. I fell in love with Nadya long before I fell in love with Russia. So for me, the girl came before Russia, and it was never about giving up on American women.

I don't expect Nadya to become an "American" woman. I would be sad if she did become an American woman. I love her for who she is, not because I want her to become something else. I have always understood that I am not just marrying the woman. I am marrying her family and her culture.

I have asked Nadya to leave her home, her family, her friends, and everything she has ever known. To ask someone to give up their life is asking so much. In return, if she wants to do things the "Russian way" in our home, then we will do them the Russian way. If she wants to hang rugs on our walls, so be it. If when you walk into our home you feel like you are 6,000 miles away from the US, then so be it! I can never repay her for giving up her life for me, but I can give her these comforts. Maybe I am slightly inconvenienced because I have to learn a new way to do something. What is this inconvenience compared to what she must go through to live away from her family?

I know she will have to adapt to some American ways. An entire country cannot change itself because of her, and I know she will understand that. She will have to learn how to drive like an American, and if she works then she will have to learn how to work like the other Americans in her job work. I don't think these are problems. But in our home and in our relationship I'll accommodate her wishes. I think it's best like this anyway. The more comfortable I make her, the less homesick she will be, and the more likely she will stay with me.

Thank you for visiting us Natalia, don't be a stranger! Пока!

Kudos Mox! Excellent answer.

I can only relate from my own experience. I was born and raised in Russia. I came here to the US 16 years ago. I can tell you that I've become americanized. Not completely of course. I'm now a rather strange mix. And looking at other immigrants living in the "immigrant rich" SF Bay Area I can tell you that happens to everyone to some degree, wether they want it or not. I don't expect Elina to remain the same. I know she will adapt to life here in the US. In fact it's already happening. She's been a student here for 3+ years. I would love for her (and myself) to retain as large a part of our Russian roots and culture as we can.

Igor

Wow! I can't much top that Kirk!

For Natal'ya, Добро Пожаловать! I can only add my personal experiences. I am one of the few here that had the opportunity to actually live in Russia for a year with his fiancée. That year proved to forever bond my relations to not only my Alla but her culture. Being back in the States, I miss Russia more than I missed America there. I felt more alive over there than here. It is difficult to put into words. The last thing I want is for my future wife to lose any of what I fell in love with. Her energy, spirits, mannerisms, relations to life, to name a few, are precious.

I remember a discussion I had with my oldest daughter last Christmas. She asked me, "How will we celebrate when Alla gets here?" This was quickly followed by, "I mean, she will stop this New Year gift giving and do it our way, right? I mean, she needs to learn to be American." I quietly retorted, No, on all counts, we will honour both traditions. It will be fun and exciting! And we will have a Russian day once a week. Only Russian will be spoken. If you can't understand, try. In time, you will. It is very important that her language and culture is never lost. It most be carried on to the next generation.

I guess the last thing I want to happen is for Alla to become Alice (an old joke a friend of hers said when we first started communicating seriously). Alla will always be Russian in her soul. I would never want that to change. And, truthfully, I don't ever see that happening!

Hahaha....... WOWWW. I am not sure any of us can top Kirk's answer. Kirk - Can you write wedding vows also? Valentine's Day is also just around the corner. I think Kirk might have a market here.

Buck

LOL oh please. It was just a fancy way of saying I'm totally whipped.

Hi !
Kirk and Jeffery! Let me hugs both you for your words while Buck does not see.
Thank you very much for your answer!!! I am sure that your life with Nadia and Alla will be happy and rest of soul.
Thank you for understanding , it is true - when we are leaving Russia, is it very difficult for us, and then ( first years) will be a little more difficult: without parents, job, friends without life wich was really not bad.
I am sure also that for me in USA will be difficult to got position what I have today, I know that my legal russian education and 15 years experience cost much less there. But I do not worry about job much, I already know what I will be doing and it will be very OK.
But I know that first year I will be terribly missing Russia, parents, job, friends.
My heart is in the pain when I am thinking about my parents, they are not young and not in health. I am only child. But they love me so much and let me go with easy heart - they adore Buck and want us to be together.
So what will be connecting us ( Russian women) with USA - our husbands.
Jeffery and Kirk, you are so right in your words- That YOU love your woman for who she is and you do not want change nothing in her. Buck often told me that.
I think that Alla and Nadia know that they met very wise and kind men.
Couse , I understand that with time life in USA will change us, but I hope in good side and we will add to Russian traditions and culture , your American traditions.
Igor! Millions happy days to you. . Glad to see you here. I am sure that after so many years like you are there, you are strange mix, but I hope just in the best way?
Slim! HI! Thank you very much for your point.
I am agree with something , but not with everything.
And I hope that you understand that if we have problems in the family- it is not problems between American man and Russian woman- it is problem between wife and husband!!!
It is your words: “ Jump your "Russian" @$$ on the bandwagon with the rest of the girls wearing their pajamas. “
I can tell you that my @ss is not heavy and I can jump it and fly even to the sky, but only if my Buck will enjoy to see my @ss there from the ground or behind and I can do that just because I love him and not because I must “get in line all the same “.
BOYS! HAVE A NICE DAY.
NATALIA

Natasha, (Можно на ты?)

You brought a smile to me today! You are humour girl for sure! You are a solid example of why we love our Russian women. So full of life and spirits!

Thank you for your kind words. You are welcome to post here any time! I think your perspective will add plenty more spice to this already nutty Russian group we have. I hope you will have a good day too. Oh, I won't tell Buck about the hug. Truthfuly, I think I worry more if Alla were to find out!

Ha ha ha Jeffery - thank you very much, I already told that you are very wise:)) I think Alla will undertand me and will be thinking that I have good taste also, If not , Oh my God, I will let her hug Buck, but just like friend, in front of my eyes and not longe I love him a lot for look on that longer than one minute

I thought I would sneak into this thread, too since Jason is in bed with the flu. I just wanted to say that when all of us are finally reunited again we will form great families. Not only can I see that people in this thread really love and respect their other halves and these are the main keys to a family's happiness but also we will all bring smth unique in a family: our culture, our style of life, our way of thinking. Definitely there will be misunderstandings because of differences but i'm sure that in a loving family they will be of a minor sort.
Again I want to say that Russian women won't change in their essense, we will adjust and adapt to the style of living in America but we won't change completely and that is how it's supposed to be I guess.
And Jeffery, I really liked this idea about Russian day once a week. I hope we will have the same with Jas. I just need to teach him some Russian at first. But i know that he will definitely want to have "The day of Russian Food" more than once a week.
Well, good luck to everyone.
Sasha

Welcome Sasha. It is soooooooooooooooo nice to see Russian ladies contributing to the forum......... and I also like Jeffrey's Russian one-day-a-week idea.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

Buck

I won't tell if you don't tell.

This time Jefferey speaks for me as well, so I don't have a lot to say. Natalia you are a funny and charming woman. I hope you will continue to come here and tell us your thoughts. I am especially interested in hearing what your thoughts are when you finally arrive. Maybe you will have thoughts on how my Nadya and the other women will be able to adjust better, and how we men can better help our ladies to adjust and be happy.

Cheers,
Kirk

LOL ....... I leave the forum for several hours and come to find that my gal is giving free virtual hugs to you mugs. Oh well..... who am I to restrain her? Natalia is a friendly, gregarious, warm-hearted woman. Enjoy the Siberian warmth guys. I absolutely adore her.

Buck

Добро пожаловать Саша!

I am very happy to see another lady join our photo thread gone wild!

I'm glad you like my Russian day idea. I'm sure Jason will study well under your tutelage. But, I have to say, I would be very happy with 7 days of Russian food! I tell you, my Alla can just cut up simple potatoes, fry them, and they taste like heaven! Russian cooking is the best!

Oh, P.S. Tell Jason to get better, the flu is not fun.




Buck, you have little to explain, your lady is an absolute charmer!

I am doing the same thing, but I am going to do 1 day a week until she is ultra confident in her English, because I know she will want the practice. She already gets cranky at me because I always speak Russian to her when we talk becasue I want the practice. Then after she is better with her English I want to switch to 2 days a week.

As for the day of Russian food, the more the merrier!! Not only do Russians eat healthier than I do usually, the Russian salads are to die for, they are really second to none!

Boy, I get busy preparing for the interview trip to Moscow, and I miss all of this really good stuff secretly buried in the 'photo' thread. It's a perfect cover!

Kirk (aka 'Mox') - what you wrote stated so perfectly what the majority of us here on the Russian thread truly believe. You have a gift, my friend.

Jeffrey (aka 'Kazan') - your feelings for your Alla have alway been evident, as made clear by your moving to Russia to show your serious intent. Plus, anyone who wears hats like you ain't afraid of nothing!

Buck - I've read many of your posts with great interest, though we have never really spoken 'directly' here on VJ. Along with others here, I've empathized with the difficulties you and Natalia have faced in your visa struggle, and cheered for you both at your triumphs over the system. It takes commitment and a serious desire from BOTH people to make a long distance, long-separation relationship work, and I'm confident you and Natalia will not only succeed, but excel.

Natalia - What can I say? Thanks so VERY MUCH for your honest opinions and insights. All of us mugs (as Buck says) appreciate your thoughts and your willingness to share them. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I must also note that my Natasha's given name is actually Natalia, and I can honestly say that you two share more traits than just a name!

Sasha - You have also hit the nail right on the head (to use an American idiom). We guys don't want our Russian ladies to change, we only want them to adapt, so that they can be as happy being here with us as we are being here with them. Your interview is only a few days before ours, and I want you to know that Natasha and I are rooting for you guys!

Slim & Satellite - You guys are both experienced voices here on VJ and your opinions are always welcome, even when they don't always jive with what us newbies think. But you guys have been through this already, and have experienced the good and the bad. and I for one appreciate your thoughts, even when they sometimes stand in contrast to my own.

I think we have a very good Russian group here, dynamic and fun and honest. Cheers all around!

Kevin

Agreed. What we lack in traffic I think we more than make up for in quality of content.

I concur 100%

Thank you, guys, for welcoming me. I'll certainly keep posting here. It's always nice to chat with kind, smart and interesting people. I'm actually spending all my free time on VJ now. I'm really stressing out about my interview and it just gives me more hope when I read about success stories.
Sasha

The advice about the interview seems to be always the same: get everything ready, per the guides, double and triple check everything, and then try to stop stressing.

Even as I write these words, I know how futile they are for me, and for everyone else! Stress is just part of the overall package, usually. We dot our t's and cross our i's, and hope that all will be well. It will be!

Ladies, it might benefit you to create your own profiles. Then we will all know immediately when the woman is speaking and when the man is speaking.

I love many of these photos... My wife is a artist and I want her to do more paintings of the FSU. Would anyone object if I shared these photos with her with the caveat that some might become the inspiration for a painting?

Great idea for our VJ ladies!

Don't stress too much Sasha. I have a feeling you will have no problems! Please make sure you share all your impressions of the interview here for us. My Alla is always asking, "What they will ask me?" I've given her some examples, but she is always wanting more.

No objections here. Please, do share.

On the other hand it would be great if maybe you could share some of her works here with us. Could you?

Same here.

Ditto!

Man, miss a day.... miss a lot!

Natalia - Thanks for disagreeing, I would expect no less! Of course there are some things that are going to be agreed upon but there are also things that will not. And that's what makes it so interesting. And as always, getting women to post here in "the boys club" makes this forum really great!

For everyone else, same thing. That's what makes this a great forum. Without differing opinions, there wouldn't be progrees. Wrigley (I believe) said "If two men in a business always share the same opinion then one of them is unnecessary."

So, the question was asked, "what do you guys expect?" Well, mox summed it up quite well but I'll agree with most and disagree with the part about her adapting to American life. That's where my personal expectations differ. I expect for her to "stay Russian" in some aspects; dress, customs, "attitude", etc., but I expect her to get on board (and get in line!) with the way things are done here. When you live in America and you want a decent life you do have to work at a crummy job that you don't like and you do have to "not" be best-of-the-best most fashionable most sophisticated gorgeous girl that everyone wants. You have to suck it up and work a $#itty job and work hard. You have to do without some stuff if you want to get stuff later. There's a way to go about doing that here and unless you have the luxury of having it already (as some of you with 40+-year-old fiances/husbands that have already "made it") then you have to develop it.

I'm not really tight with Satellite to the point that I know him and his wife personally but the one thing he and I have in common (and that Jason will soon see, Chuckles is living through now) is we are younger guys who are still trying to "make it." And not that any of the older guys on here are rich, but they're not facing the same situation financially that plays such a big part in American lifestyle. Having younger girls (not that you're "older" cause you can't say that to any woman!) that aren't used to struggling through financial hardship without a benefactor or having done it themselves only exacerbates the situation and that's the root cause of a lot of the "adapting" problems that now plague our relationships.

You will not face that to the extreme that our wives/fiancees have had to. You will see it somewhat, but it's something that has to be overcome, and it's something that has to be overcome together.

It seems hard for a lot of the (younger) Russian girls to be willing to accept this. Sure they want to because they've found "the one" they were looking for and he happened to be American, but it's definitely different than what they're accustomed to back home. And it does cause problems.

My expectation for my wife and all the girls coming here is that they will deal with the situation as "when in Rome" and not expect that this country and the system and daily life here will change to accomodate them as they see fit. That they won't fight for everyone around them to see them how they want to be seen but they will find a spot to fit in and moreover, that spot will be in line together with where their husband is currently. Not where he's going to be in ten years, not where he will be later, but where he is now.

I'm very glad you ladies are on here now, it's great to hear a (sane) Russian woman's opinion and to be able to consider all sides of every story. Hope to see you (and disagree with you!) more!

I am very happy to share her work... www.tagai-meyer.net

fwaguy: I don't think any of the photos I posted are paint-worthy, but you have my blessing nonetheless!

slim: Excellent points, slim. I'm not rich, but I do have a well-established career that affords me many more creature comforts than I had when I was but a wee lad. If you had to pick ONE thing that has been the most difficult for you and your bride, what would it be?

You'd be surprised... She will take subject matter from one photo... back ground from another... an interesting sky from yet another and somehow pull it all together.....

She's welcome to use any from the URL I posted earlier too.

Welcome to all the ladies! It's nice to see some more female voices on this forum.

Whenever Jason posts I think it is Sasha anyway. It is her picture in his avatar!

Same here.

Wow! What a great (and loaded) question. And just ONE? Come on, there's like a million!

There's obviously going to be the difference between men and women and how we're not going to communicate everything the same way and not see things the same way so that causes some difficulties, but the MAJOR source of difficulties for us is her unwillingness to adapt to the daily grind here in the U.S.

We have a lot of fun together when we're going somewhere or doing something but it's the dull, boring, everyday life that really gets her down, and that, in turn, causes problems for both of us. As a young man, I work ALL THE TIME trying to pay our bills and get us a little something extra. She works a lot too so during the week, we really don't have the chance to do things or go places. Just having dinner together is a stretch as I'm usually sleeping during that time. (3rd shift worker.) And all that not seeing each other and having fun together turns into "it sucks here and you not show me attention" when in reality it's "I'm busting my @$$ so we can have a decent future."

As a more seasoned guy, you probably won't face this to the degree that some of the younger guys on here are. However, I think the majority of our problems now wouldn't be present if I would've taken a more active part in getting her going on things early. She hasn't really developed any hobbies, interests or activities here and that's "my fault" for not getting her out there. What I should've done is ensured we had the money for a car and got her driving pretty quickly and also introduced her to several groups; ESL classes, a dance/exercise class, and some other stuff to occupy her time. She sat here for about eight months with nothing to do (couldn't work) and then once she started working, that's all she does now. Go to work and come home. Go to work and come home.

Americans are used to it because that's what has to happen to make it here in America. However, she has the expectation that we should have hobbies and activities to take up our time in the evenings. (None of which applies to me because, as said above, I work 3rd shift.) Since I don't take her where she needs to go, it now becomes my fault that she's bored and unhappy and that she works all the time for nothing more than survival in our crappy little apartment and this horrible boring city. Nevermind the fact that we live in the city, on the bus route, and next to the university.

I've asked myself several times if maybe I've been too hard on her, but for me, it seems like she's done absolutely nothing to advance her own situation and relied on me for everything. I'm the one that's supposed to find things for her to do and people for her to hang out with. (I'm also supposed to provide the money for all of it!) Everyone I've introduced her to, my small circle of friends, she doesn't care to hang out with so I pretty much left it up to her to find her own friends. She's been here about a year-and-a-half and the only people she's really hung out with socially are one girl from her job (once) and two Russian girls she's met through the internet (a couple of times.) Other than that, it's work and come home to look for things to b!tch about.

When I have the opportunity to take her out somwhere she's generally happy. However, the places we go are often not nice enough or fashionable enough so we don't go out very much.

So, to sum up, I guess the ONE thing that has been most difficult for me and my bride would be trying to have fun during the week while also working our @$$es off.

There have been many many things that have been brought up here on VJ that people have been concerned about that have been non-issues for us. Language barrier, cultural differences, food, etc., (all have been "interesting experiences" but never really difficult to compromise on) but the biggest deal definitely seems to be the difference between the daily life here and the daily life in Russia.

That said, every time I ask her if she wants to go back she says no, so I don't think the grass was that much greener. It's just that a young single woman can get by with not working so much when she has rich boyfriends to support her and take her to nice places. A married woman (that's not cheating on her husband) can't. I understand that it's a different lifestyle and things aren't always nice, but getting her to see the "big picture" or "our future together" is sometimes a tough sell.

Try to eliminate the need for her to "struggle" for a nice life and you'll probably fare better than me in that department. The general concensus that I've gotten is because you are man you must pay for everything and provide everything, their job is to only be beautiful and take care about home. (With your help, of course.) Give her everything she wants and desires and you should have no problems. Except for all the new problems that come with giving a woman everything she wants and desires.....

Good luck!!!
And remember, this is a post about the difficulties. There are a lot of "easy" things too and the meter is still more on the positive side than the negative side. It's closer to the middle than the far right, but my hope is, over time, it will start to drift more and more to the "easy" side.

.......................\/...................
Difficult...........................Easy

Good point!

The struggle continues, quit both my jobs at the start of this year to study for the bar. Living as two working students doesn't help in the adjustment part but it sure does "Americanize" you faster. Actually I think income wise you are still ahead of us. I don't think we broke 30k this year. But we spent at least 30k on education and borrowed another 30k in student loans. And Ohio real estate is still affordable to the average person out there, right? Although the foreclosure auctions are starting to look more and more attractive in California. Prices have fallen as much 200k in many areas. But our VJ and financial struggle journey is coming to an end soon. Got NOA1 for citizenship this month. Bar exam on the 26-28 of this month. And then if I pass, I can go get that crummy job slaving away for some RICH senior partner

And the really sad part is, by American standards, we're not doing bad at all. We almost doubled your incomes and have only $400/month rent. And that was with her working less than half the year at a little restaraunt! For two young people without college degrees, we bring home a lot of cash. But, that wasn't enough for her I guess. Of course, we have a lot of bills too, but that's part of living in America. I'm just wondering how I get her to be patient enough to make it work, and the bigger question is if over $60K (maybe even 70 this year and next) isn't going to be enough, then what is?

You guys are on the verge, just a few short years and you're "livin the Dream." I hope it's working for you, but here, it seems to be that attaining that Dream just isn't going to cut it.

Thanks so much slim and satellite for your insights. I only asked for ONE thing, slim, because I didn't want to impose too much upon your time, but given the fullness of your response - feel free to name as many things as you want! Heck, throw in some 'easy' things too! It sucks that your schedules don't line up so that you two could have more time together. All things come to those who wait (and strive valiantly!). I have a great job and Natasha will be coming to work with me (and using my laptop for internet access) until she feels comfortable being at home alone, while we wait for AOS/EAD. One of the perks of being the senior guy on the team.

I'm sure you don't need my advice, but I'll give it anyway. Working hard in order to better the life for your family is a very good thing, a very honorable thing, and something for which you will eventually be rewarded. But don't lose sight of why you work so hard, or life can slip away from you before you realize it is happening. I speak from personal, painful experience on this one.

Yes. And I read from personal, painful experience.

I get that part, but when all I'm hearing is how broke we are (after we just took a vacation to the Dominican Republic) and how I never buy her anything (just spent several hundred bucks on her birthday) then what am I supposed to do?

Bottom line is my wife is spoiled. She continually b!tches about what we don't have but yet can't seem to appreciate what we do have. And then, working to get it, which we all know is the only way to attain a materialistic lifestyle, seems to be the cause of her unhappiness.

I've cut back my hours to the minimum required at my job (which is still 56/week... slowing to 48 with every-other-weekend off) but it's not enough as I haven't "planned" on things to do on my days off. I should've had fashionable dinners planned at nice restaraunts and trips to bed&breakfasts lined up with a spa stay inbetween. My bad.

My suggestion to all of you that don't have your fiancee/wife here yet is you somehow start showing her what life in the U.S. is like before she arrives. Apparently even the Mid-West is like Hollywood until they show up. Cover the monthly bills with her and help her to understand how money works here. Maybe you can save yourself some headaches. And not earn the nickname "Papa Karlo."

Good luck guys. And thank goodness for the Pro Bowl today. If it wasn't for the NFL I'd probably be sitting in the "man chair" at the mall or the day spa or some other Godforsaken place like that.

Oh, I feel very fortunate my Alla is not spoiled. My girl would consider us rich if we did the things you are doing Slim. She has always reminded me, "I never needed a rich man in my life. I only want man that will provide a simple home, has job, buys food and clothes for us. It would be nice if we could go to restaurant maybe once in month and trip to sea once a year." Her idea of luxury is having a room to ourselves and not sharing with her mother and children. She sees the Hollywood life as story book only and fully understands that this is not want she will find with me in America. I was always careful from the very beginning with her. We talked economic class and "Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown" from the very first e-mail I ever sent her, I tested her expectations. I think she will consider our life here is much better than expected compared to what she is used to. Alla is realistic and I am extremely grateful.

What is bad about being called "Papa Karlo?"

Alla is a little older and has a little more life experience than my wife. She also has kids so that makes her automatically appreciate having things. When you've been through some stuff, it's a lot easier to be thankful for what you have.



Therein lies the problem here. I too was careful from the start, but we started when we were both barely 20 years old and much, much, much has changed for both of us since then. She got accustomed to the men in her life treating her a certain way and she didn't really live a tradtional lifestyle of staying in one place and working at a job to make money to pay bills. Her and I both moved around every couple of months (a year or two at most) and never had to work the day-to-day grind that it takes to make it here in the States. Now that we're required to do that, it's something that she's not so sure she wants to do.

But, there's really no other way for us to do it, so we're going to have to stick to it for a while. No arguing with that.




Being called Papa Karlo isn't so bad. What's bad is being Papa Karlo, or at least working like him. (If you don't know the story, Papa Karlo is a Russian folk character who works a whole bunch. When people work like a dog, Russians can say something like "that guy works like Papa Karlo." It's not a derogatory term or slander, it's just saying you work a lot.)