Please advise on what to do if the relationship failed prior to AOS. My wife is already here in the states but I am planning on sending her back home. Who do i notify?

she is here on K-3?
she has to leave once the divorce is final. thats all I know about that.

We need more info. before we can give you any advice.

What('s) went/going on?

What difference would the juicy details make?

If the K-3 has not completed her AOS, and they divorce, she has no basis to stay.

i would first notify your wife that you are buying tickets so she can return home!

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my advice is to try to fix it and try to start over and then if u failed again then tell her bye bye

were you married in the Philippines? Do you know the Philippines Law concerning Divorce?

Just in case you dont, Divorce in the Philippines is agaist the law. If you want to you have to get a allnument and that is about $4K or more and can take about 5-10 yrs to complete. You know your soon to be ex wife wont ever be allowed to get married again now until the alimument is final? I hope you will think before making it final. I just pray you are not going to make her future dismial and hard and sad.

I suggest that you work things out. Filpina's are great wifes and they are very dedicated to their husbands.

You need to tell us more so we can help you and best advice you what is best for both of you

To be honest, It is sad and it is brothering me that this marriage is failing..I hope you can work it out, talk to a priest.

Take care

If a divorce is filed by the USC spouse, then the Philippines government will recognize the divorce and she will be allowed to remarry, even in the Philippines, without an annulment.

can you show me where that law is. Cause my ex wife and I divorce also and she is filpina and we got married in the Philippines.. I would like to know that so I can tell her..

take care

ugh was going to type something but I guess it's too mean.

ugh never mind. This post bothers me.

Philippine law (Article 26, paragraph (2), of the Family Code).

The language of it bothers me too 'planning on sending her home'... she's not a package to mark 'return to sender' if you don't want it any more.

To the Original Poster, I REALLY hope you have considered all your options here before divorcing your wife. She turned her life upside down for you and moved eleven thousand miles on the hope of a future... and at the time you wanted her. What went wrong? Marriage is a process, not a one-time event. Every marriage has rough patches, and an international marriage can have even more difficulty because you have to renegotiate your relationship more than once... of course there are 'deal breakers' like drugs or affairs or violence or finding out that you were only being used instead of being loved... I'm sorry if you have had something like that going on.

If you really want to divorce your wife and not do AOS she'll have to leave the country once you are legally divorced. The only legal reason she had to be here was her marriage to you. So file the paperwork and buy her a plane ticket home...

[quote name='Kajikit' date='Apr 18 2006, 05:26 AM' post='134998']
[quote name='karo112' post='134860' date='Apr 18 2006, 07:44 AM']
ugh was going to type something but I guess it's too mean.

ugh never mind. This post bothers me.
[/quote]

The language of it bothers me too 'planning on sending her home'... she's not a package to mark 'return to sender' if you don't want it any more.



i was gonna say exactly the same thing and totally agree with you..... soooo wrong to consider your partner "a packeage" ....wrong ....

If the marriage is not working end it as soon as possible.That would be the best for both of you.Philippino or not should have nothing to do with it.If it is over it is over.I made the mistake of trying to stay with my first wife for years it was a NIGHTMARE.Not just for me but for her also.

My wife is philipino but lived in Japan for the last 20 yrs. She is so materialistic that she always talks about her expensive furniture she had with her ex and how rich her friends are, and her former life in Japan and how much money she had!

I'm not rich at all, but make a nice living, and she knows it, but talks about other rich people having everything. I have never met such a materialistic person, is this a common trait among philipino wives?? or and exception? She does cook and clean well, I help when I'm not working my two jobs to support her way of life!

She is not effectionate at all, and have asked her about that, and she says nothing. She has asked her 16yr old daughter if they should go back to Japan when they have there Greencards in a few months!! She talks about divorce once a week.

She can't work yet until she gets her greencard, but volunteers at the local elementary school for something to do, until she gets her card, which maybe her attitude will change.

Oh man, if you dont know by now...it kinda goes with the culture. It that way with all that et from that part of the world, and my brother was married to a philipina.....money, money money!!!!

dont want to offend anyone here that might have a wife from the PI, but maybe you can relate a little.

I beg your pardon. No offense meant but there are materialistic American, European, Latin, African, Middle Eastern, Pacific Islanders and Asian women as well. Materialistic people (men included) are all over the world! It's not fair to generalize the Filipino people.

I am Filipina and proud of it. I don't consider myself materialistic but I like to live a comfortable life so I work hard for it.

Thank you.

If your marriage vows is the most important thing in your life. You have to think about it over and over again before sending her (your wife) back home. She is here to share her life with you. There's no perfect marriage! If she is just new here you have to considered that she is still adjusting to her new environment, new culture and new life as a whole.

I felt sad! I hope things will work out for you and your wife instead of threaten her to send it back home. Have you been to a marriage counselling?

May God bless you and guide you every step of the way!

My wife is Filipina and is not materialistic and is very affectionate. I'm so glad to be with her.

Oh please, do not generalize. I'm a Filipina myself, married to USC for almost 2 years and let me tell you that my lifestyle here is nothing compared to what I was used to back at home. Why leave all the comforts back home to live here, where dual income is still barely enough? Yet I chose to be here because I know that USC husband may find it hard to settle in the Philippines, and that I can pretty much adjust to a new culture, new environment. I learned how to be frugal and manage our finances well, keep hubby's expenses at bay and save more for retirement.

I'm sorry to hear that you or your family have had unfortunate experience with Filipinas, but it's so unfair to label people "from that part of the world" as being gold diggers/money-hungry.

I agree with the others that posted here. I'm a Filipina too, have a lot of Filipina friends in US and I can't consider any of us being materialistic. We are all professionals doing our best here. There are materialistic men and women around the world, maybe you just happened to associate with the wrong type of people. I know most of the Filipinos here are professionals in the IT industry like I am and we value money since we work so hard to earn it.

I'm sorry to hear your relationship with her failed. I hope you guys could still find ways to make it work.

This whole thread has elements that don't look good -- the original poster talking about shipping his wife back (!), the insinuation Filipina wives are all materialistic.

Original poster: I advise that you and your wife seek marriage counselling before committing to any final details, if you already haven't. There may be underlying issues (such as trouble adjusting to a foreign culture) that have impacted your relationship that are fixable if both parties are willing. Mediation is often worth pursuing, especially if there are children involved.

If you are resolved to ending your marriage regardless, then you should review the statutes for divorce in your state. These can vary considerably, and you should definitely be aware (as should she; do not try to leave her ignorant!) of the limitations, rules and statutes that apply to you both. For example, you may need to know if you live in a common property state.

It may be advisable for you to both obtain attorneys but if finances are a major issue, then other arrangements may be necessary. You might also look into arbitrated divorce, which is often a great deal more productive and less expensive than traditional routes if there's a lot of property involved.

If your wife and you divorce, the grounds for her AOS are effectively nullified unless she can contest documented abuse (under VAWA) or other limited situations that the US allows.

I would strongly suggest that you both sit down and consider what went wrong, if it's mendable and the options thereof.

has the original poster even responded to any replies?

This whole post seems fishy if you ask me!

No, Tamz, he hasn't. There's been a few people like this talking about marriage troubles who don't come back to reply. Maybe he's read and hasn't said anything. Who knows?

You know, I just don't know what to think. VJ has offered a WEALTH of knowledge and support throughout the K1 process for me and my Filipina fiancee, but it has also introduced a WEALTH of concern. I keep seeing threads like this where inuendo and often outright accusations suggest that Filipinas (in particular) are predisposed to be entering the US under false pretenses, are gold-diggers, are often adulterous, occassionally already have another man in the PI or quickly find another in the US, and even in some cases plot ahead of time to build a case for abuse to have ready when the green card drops so they can cut and run and clean the USC out on their way out the door.

I've seen a lot of these posters referred to as trolls and such, but I often wonder what would be the motivation for numerous people to post such inflammatory information for no reason other than entertainment. Perhaps that is the case; perhaps not. Regardless, this garbage has caused me to have moments of concern myself - everytime my fiancee does anything that seems to fit into the profile these "trolls" have been painting, I find myself wondering if somehow I could be getting duped.

I love my fiancee very much and I truly believe she loves me and has good intentions. That's why I'm progressing with our K1 and marriage. But still, the thought of being financially raped and emotionally destroyed based on a purported cultural predisposition for deception in this particular arena is VERY scary.

I've talked with my fiancee about the things I've heard, read, and (unfortunately) seen, and her response is "I'm not those girls!" I love her, I trust her, and I have no choice but accept her at her word and let time tell the tale, but I pray it turns out to be a fairytale vice a nightmare.

Thoughts?

Like you stated above, some like to post such things merely for entertainment. Some are real and have been used. As to your relationship (or anyone's for that matter) IMHO it's what you feel in your heart and what your gut reaction is telling you. If you've spent enough time with your fiancée then you should know what her intentions are. To let you know though...it's not just filipinas that seem to do this...there are other fiancées in other countries that have done this same thing.

What does your heart tell you? That's the question you have to answer, and by reading your post it sounds as if you've answered it.

This is an old thread. I'm not sure why it should give you a lot of cause for alarm.

FWIW, American women are rampantly accused here of being money hungry, adulterous, anti child/family, etc etc. Filipinas don't have the corner market on that.

My point is; don't believe the hype. All you can do is go with your gut and move forward. If it bites you on the arse later, at least you know where to go for advice.

I would think "home" is with you, her husband. Maybe this attitude is why things have gone downhill. Does she not feel welcome here?

Good point! The cards have been dealt and now I fully intend to play the hand and make the best of it. In my gut and my heart, I believe I have been dealt an exceptional hand. I love my fiancee enough to take the risk and go all in, for better or worse. VJ has become a regular part of my daily life, so I'm sure you will all hear about how things pan out either way.

Merry Christmas!

Excellent Merry Christmas to you and Lirio too! Hope this one is the last spent apart.

I felt the same way when I read: "Filpina's are great wifes and they are very dedicated to their husbands"

What a generalization.