My husband and I offically married on October 21. I have not changed my name as of yet, because it is a source of discontent in our household over what my new name will be. I have my maternal grandmother's first name and my paternal grandmother's middle name so both of those names are EXTREMELY important to me. But my maiden name is just as important. I want to keep my name as is and add my husband's last name offically on my SS card (4 names). But on my license and other documents I will have: First Name - Maiden Name - Husband's Last Name. I didn't forsee this being a huge problem, so I just mentioned it to him in passing. He thinks I'm too attached to my family and I'm afraid to let go. On the other hand, I really think of this as a personal decison, not a joint marriage decision. It's my name. What's important is that when we have kids, all of us will have the same last name - not what's between my first and last name....

(He'd die if he knew I was sharing this information with strangers... better you all then my mother!!)

This was both my husband and I's 2nd marriages.

I asked my husband what his preference was (just so I knew, even though I intended to decide for myself). He said he'd prefer for me to take his last name.

I thought it over and decided to take his last name, so I dropped my previous married name. My 3 kids were older, but if they had been small children, I probably would have kept my previous married name so that I had the same last name as my kids, but they were 23, 21 and 16 at the time I got married.

am i insane or is this the second poll exactly the same without an option for people without middle names!!!!!!??????!??!?!??!?

Of course it's something that should be discussed, but in the end if it's the person who change his or her name(s) that decides.
The argument that you're too attached to your family if you don't change yours should go both ways, no?
I bet he's not willing to ditch his own and take yours. Fine, then you BOTH ditch your old names and pick a new one together. Still a no? Then I say go ahead with what YOU want. It takes some fragment of giving in from both sides for a compromise.

From hearing your point of view here I'd say keep all your old names and add your hubby's.

I apoligize if this is a repeat poll. I searched for a poll like this, but I came up with nothing... If you can find me the link I will ask to cancel this one. It is a personal question for me. If it offends you - feel free not to answer

it doesn't offend me, I was just wondering if I had just seen this same poll a few days ago and I have. And I can't vote anyway, it doesn't have an option. Nothing against your poll
link

Claudeth kept her middle name and took my last name

That's what I'll be doing... But not your name! lol

Yea, I was surprised to see the almost exact same thread....
But since I hadn't voted - I knew it was (a bit) different.

Of course I kept my middle name - that seems weird to change it. I dropped my father's last name and took my husband's. I have no connection to my father (besides that he made me) really so I don't feel the need to have his name. My mother is divorced and remarried and has a different last name than my sisters and I.

I was the one who wanted to change my last name and my husband didn't say much except that he liked the idea. However, once I changed it and some people still called me by my maiden name, he'd correct them. I know that he likes my decision. I want our children to have the same last name as us.

Did not change last name. None of us think it is a big deal.

I think it best that a compromise be made so that both of you are satisfied. After all isn't that was marriage is about? Put it this way, you don't want to have bad blood between each other because of a name change. I would not suggest that you not take your hubby's name just as I would not suggest that you eliminate the names that are special to you.

whether or not you write all four or five names on every document should not matter just as long as it is legally documented....its still your government name regardless. You are just going to have a loooooong name if you are not willing to let go of any of them

Whatever decision you make...try to compromise.

Good luck mama!

I didn't feel attached to my maiden name and dropped it in my first marraige. This is my second marraige and it's very important to Bassi that I carry his name as his wife. But I have a 5 year old from my previous marraige and I don't want her to be the only one with her name in our family once we start having children. So, I am keeping my previous married name and adding my fiance's name. So I'll just have a sentence for a name and I haven't decided how I will sign documents. Essentially, I have the ability to sign anyway I want because I have divorce papers to prove that I'm allowed to use my maiden name and I'll have a marraige certificate that says I can use my new husbands name. Maybe I'll sign everything with a different name and give those identity theives a run for their money!

kept current middle name and dropped maiden name, we both decided because we make decisions together.

I kept my maiden name as a second middle name and added my husbands name as my new last name. It doesn't effect my daily life at all, and in fact, every ID that own with the exception of my SS card has dropped all my names down to my first middle initial anyway. My maiden name barely makes an appearance in my life but it's nice to know it's there because it's a part of my identity.

I am keeping my maiden name. At this point it would such a pain to have everything changed.

I might consider changing my name if we have a child- but right now that is not something I am thinking too much about.

We are traditioinal. I dropped my maiden name (like a bad habit) and was proud to take his. Im his wife. I can see both yourpoints of view though. But I am a romantic. We became a family when we said I do. Maybe he reacted the way he did because he feels that you are his wife and he should come first in your heart and life and the name is symbolic of you and him as one. ::shrugs::: I dont know, thats my two cents.

Where is the choice...."drop maiden name and assume spouse's last name"? One choice is close, but not quite.....my wife has no middle name.

reach449

I guess this is a duplicate poll. I wound up voting in this poll and added my reply to the other. Reach449 is correct. There is no option for a person with no middle name who changes her surname to her husbands. My wife has no middle name, but I didn't catch the problem because she kept her name when she married. She's Chinese and traditionally Chinese women don't change their name when they marry. I applied for our marriage license 17 days before she came to this country so the name change was something we had to discuss before she arrived. She had assumed that she was required to change her name to mine when she married but decided to keep her own name when she discovered she was allowed to keep it. My wife's first name is only 3 letters and her family name is only 2 letters. It's pronounced exactly the way it's spelled and easier to pronounce than my family name. I think many immigrants change their name because American's have a difficult problem pronouncing their given name. No so in my wife's case so it made sense for her to keep it.

I figured out how to sign so that you can't tell if I wrote "Bethany [hubby's surname]" or "B. [double-barreled surname]." I like it.

Anyway I think that if a tie needs to be broken, the person whose name it is gets to break the tie (that would be the wife). Hubby was actually surprised I was going to change it, most of his female friends didn't especially when they already had careers (which I do). But I don't like my maiden name, it's too hard to spell (well, it's only 4 letters, so more like too easy to misspell) and his is nice. Plus I like the idea of everyone in the family having the same last name.

I hyphenated mine so that my name would still appear in the same place in professional directories. Hubby offered to change his to the hyphenated version also, but I told him that I didn't like my maiden name and didn't really want to impose it on anyone else. So legally mine is hyphenated, but I usually just go by his, and if we have kids, we'll just give them his.

ETA In both my parents' families, all the girls (my mom and her sister, and my dad's 5 sisters) were given no middle name so that when they married, their maiden names would become a middle name. I didn't realize that was a controversial practice?