so this is where to come to vent?......VJ has helped me keep my sanity and perspective all these months....thought it was going
o.k. till the kosovo police threw in their wrench ...kinda new goverment there ...so apparently..now the big question is: anybody
here know how to complete a police report?????....i have got no clear answers to why the big delay.....still have the interview
after that....if something goes wrong with that....think i will need medication......i i know everything ends eventually....and they
will have to issue this...sad part is in their own sweet time.....i know there are many more on this site that have been waiting, and
waiting for whatever......and you are all in my prayers.......

Good points, Trailmix.

My first thought was.... all people who start living together have to go through an adjustment period and learn to deal with having someone else in their space.... not just firstborns. lol. It definitely takes time, Spirit. I'm working through all that, myself. After living so long on my own it drives me a little crazy sometimes. I remember my friend, Arlene, asking how I was adjusting to married life, and if I had any regrets. I mentioned the difficulty of having someone else in my space and said "Sometimes I'd just like to sit on the couch and not have someone talk to me when they walk by." She said "Oh, give it 10 years. It'll come."




Yup. This is the place.

dear Trailmix,

Of course, of course I know one cannot ask nor expect anyone else to change.
Nope,
All I do is plant seeds and stand back and observe...or not, sometimes I am long gone if they do germinate.
And as a free spirit I am tortured by my need for exploration and more in a way I am accustomed to.
Honestly, I guess my sweetie thought he wanted the same things, but I can see that he is not able to go in any direction other than the his "duckies-in-a-row" lifestyle that he created for himself.
Uprooting, living on boats, exploring....they are just dreams to some people, nightmares to others.
Ha!
So why did I come and live in Wintertown and get hitched?
I am always looking at possibilities and that can be...exciting, different...and how unconventional for me.
And then, well, the smoke clears, and here we are...I am.


Yes each of us are special and each of us needs what we need.
It is all perfect.

Are you thinking of calling it quits, Spirit?

That is absolutely hilarious...
and so true.


Who moi?!
Oh, I've thought about it a zillion times.

No way , not you !

Maybe you are too much of a free bird to get hitched and be in a cage....but wasn't that something that you and youre sweety had in comon?

This is how rumours get started.
Hahaha.

Not to worry anyone.
I'm certain you all can keep "secrets".


Well, I have to tell you that being all personal and shtuff on a forum is all new to me.
VJ sure brings out the emotions!


Other than dance and then karate, there might not be anything else in my life i have not questioned and thought of changing.
I have lived over ten lifetimes in my one.
Perhaps a lifetime a year or so.
That is how full-on I am used to living.
Things have slowed down to the point that I am not being me, I do not feel like myself, and what with having to live on the grid,
I resist and that ultimately hurts yours truly: me!

My sweetie is a noble (and brave) man.
Hey, he's lived with me since January...I have to give him credit for that.
Ha!
And I have been by his side supporting him through all his hard times (family, etc) this year.
I gladly and open-heartedly did that.
No effort.

What am I trying to say...
I am not the kind o0f person that gets satisfaction from complaining and/or being miserable.
Some people are like this.
It serves them in some way.
Usually I will complain or talk about something once and if I find myself still feeling the same way after some time, I will do something drastic...or small.
It depends.

Life is far too short for living in a state of unwellbeing.
Ha, a new word.

So, having said all that I have unloaded today, I just want to say, that although my partner may try and try to be the person he thinks I want him to be;
well, he feels like he is failing.
And he is.
One cannot do that for another.

I found our old emails...from day one.
I started reading them last night.
Upon our first opportunity, maybe tomorrow evening, I will have us read them together.
There is such a difference in who he was being back then (Oct/Nov. 2006)...all a big YES.
I find myself calling him Mr. No too often, and in the end it is me I don't like.
The personality that comes out when I am feeling defensive.

What is marriage?
War?!

No, I know it is not supposed to be about that.
We debate so much that I would rather be alone.
I have told him this time and again.
And then, the love and care we have for eachother supercedes (sp?) and we are trying to work it out.
I have a myriad of suggestions.
So many it boggles the mind....everything from those emails, to Buddhist-type "deep listening" exercises, to creating a bigger game to play together (if you know what i mean by this language). I am not without my resources.
Books, spiritual guides/friends (unfortunately long distance)....

The contrast of my return from the love-fest in Vancouver around my highly intuitive and spiritual friends has been great.
We fought the moment I met him at the airport.
And then when I stopped fighting and tried to recap and repair things, it was too late...for both of us.

Fire!
Yes, I am...and so is he in a different way.

He is not like me, and I am not like him.
He was convinced that opposites would compliment each other.

To what point?

It's been excruciatingly hard for both of us.

I want to say this:

I am not ready to run.
I am giving it four seasons (kind of the pagan thing you know?) and still...

There is work to do and I am doing it.

Oh my Spirit

I am so sorry to hear of your woes. I remember when I first moved in with Bren; all the times of adjustment and change -that continue today since he was struck by chronic illness- the tears, the laments, the curses. Hard times lie ahead still; and sometimes I feel much like you my dear sister.

Spirituality though, or trying to be in synch with The Creator and The Mother, has proven to be our refuge and solace in all times. I try -emphasis in try- to not "make things happen" but just "let them happen". Sh1t, I am not making any sense now, am I?

Anyway, I guess I was trying to say that the light is within, you know that. And the kingdom is around you.

You are a dear spirit. Kind and joyful.

I am so sorry, Spirit. Whichever way your path leads you, I hope you find peace.

Well Spirit, there is one thing I can say, when they say the first year is the worst one, I believe it's true...

We've had arguments, fights, lot of debating because we are both persons that need to be in control and we both try to get that control over the other one without even noticing it, and that lead to a lot of fights. So yes we are alike in many ways, perhaps too much.

One thing is sure, we are learning to live with each other more and more everyday, and of course those fairy tales we had back then when we were alone in the world with nothing to bother us area little far.

Anyways I got a phone call while I was writting this and lost my train of thoughts....

But just to say I have been thinking of going back to Montreal a few times last year, but it was always when I was in a bad mood. But things are getting better everyday

Lets see.. my sisters here have such great advice...

And I really haven't got too much to add to all of it.. although a GREAT thing I do in my mind when i"m irritated and frustrated is say... why... is it because of the way he DOES something (different than the way i'd do it and thus ultimately not really an issue) or is it WHY he does something (very rarely the case)...

He does things VERY differently than I .. that's the biggest irritant to me.. but as i remember.. it's not wrong/right it's just different.. i usually end up laughing at his antics!

Yeah. My husband's learning to laugh at me when I have my little quirks, and I'm learning to laugh at his. You certainly don't know somebody until you live with them, that's for sure. I haven't killed him, yet, so I guess that's a good sign.

Though I do like to torture him a little bit.

my hands are so flipping itchy.... owie owie owie..

I get this every summer.. it's driving me batty today.. i'm sooooo thankful for Aveda anti-itch cream.. FER SURE..

What causes that anywhoo.. little pimply bubbles, peeling skin and ITCHHHHHHH...

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/skin_hair/eczem...zema_003731.htm

silly asthma... WHY did my Grandma have to give me that ???????

Thank you sweet loving VJ women.

I get all that shtuff.

There is nothing really to complain about him...this is about differences that ultimately I am trying to see something:
are we on the same page about anything at all.

That is my spiritual path that includes him.
He has his own work to do that will guide him to learn to be able to express himself.
If he is not willing to go that route, well, I am not interested in the status quo.
And that has been no secret between us.
Our lives look so perfect on paper.
You know?
Especially for me.
I can look like a typical spoilt brat.
"What are you lacking for things?"
Nothing.

Now ask me if material things mean anything to me.


All I want is harmony, compassion, joy...that kinda stuff....as often as humanly possible.

My own spiritual path is to keep simplifying (stuff and brain clutter, haha), and to find stillness in the mayhem that is our planet.





There is the path of the Buddhist: suffer your way to Nirvana, aka peace
and there is Taoism (Lao Tse): Life itself, when understood and utilized for what it is, is sweet.

Understand.

Accept.
Receive.


What would you choose?

Wow, Spirit...

I must admit sometimes your thoughts are so deep you confuse me

Not so sure what you mean with all that....Is it that you and your husband's goal are not the same ? Or the ways to achieve them are different ?

What about everything that brought you together in this journey, I mean of course there is love, but that did you share so much that made you do the move ?

I am sorry that things are tough right now, Spirit. It is true - the first year is the hardest and there were many times during our first year I am sure both of us were questioning if we made the right choice. There are times still I am sure both of us are questioning if this is the right choice. It does get easier but there are always going to be challenges living with another person - and interestingly enough, I have found part of the challenge is my own reactions to what I think I 'should' or 'shouldn't be doing. There are definitely times I just wish I was on my own again because it was more 'comfortable'. I was more in control and I was happy being on my own. We are both such different people with different approaches to life and I feel that I am the one who makes the compromises because my nature is more flexible than his. I have to remind myself that he too is making compromises that are just as significant to him, and because it is harder in his nature to do so, perhaps they are even more challenging to him than they are to me. That is one of our differences. We have been at this four years now and have established a type of comfortable rhythm. Part of that comes from recognizing that we are each of us individuals. We actually wrote that into our marriage vows - none of this two become one stuff; we said right from the beginning that we would never forget that each of us came into this relationship as an individual and that we would always be individuals, that the challenges would come from two individuals walking side by side through life and that is what is happening.

I know that you enjoy challenging adventures - perhaps if you look at your marriage as the ultimate challenging adventure where you really are trying to encompass great differences both as a couple and as individuals you might find the growth that you seek. Marriage changes us in good ways and sometimes, not so good ways. We retreat, we move forward, we gain confidence, we experience deep doubts. It is definitely not for the weak in spirit!

Only you can decide if the rewards are worth the challenge. Sometimes they are not and it is no flaw or failing, just a recognition that the two roads don't go in the same direction. Sometimes you can each go off on side paths and return to the main road bringing with you the lessons and joys of the side paths, incorporating them into your path together, but that means both of you must be strong as individuals and able both to reach out from your own sense of security and allow your partner freedom to explore without you. Some couples are able to do so; some are not.

Good luck to you whatever paths you take.

You might want to give Zyrtec a try. It's OTC (it was once prescription) and you can find at Walgreen's, CVS, etc. Most of those stores have their own version of it too, which is just as good. Make sure to compare the two, however, to make sure it's the exact same thing. If it is, the store's brand will usually be much less expensive than the name brand.

I used to have this internal itching sensation all over my body and it wouldn't stop. It'd sometimes keep me up at nights, too. It'd appear during the spring and summer and then disappear during the fall and winter. This led me to believe it was an allergy, so I tried Zyrtec (there are other OTC antihistamines available, but they can make you drowsy) and so far, I haven't been itching since. I take one pill every night before bed.

Oh dear Emancipation.
If it is the inside of your left hand, that is a good thing.
It means money is coming.
Have you heard that?

Thank you for all this Kathryn.
I sure appreciate all of you writing how you deal with your main relationship.
Because we are all so different from different walks of life, no one can judge another's feelings.
And only with lots of analysis and/or lots of quiet introspective connection time can we truly know another.

I am complex creature.
The times I think I have figured me out and then I surprise myself and change some more.
Hahaha.
Hence not accepting the last 4 marriage proposals and quite a few more please-live-with-me offers from handsome, eligible men.
I just wasn't ready nor felt that I would be a good companion, as I seem to change like the wind.

Ah yes and the storm I can be didn't phase my current partner.
He was willing and able..
and now, well I feel like I am hurting him too much and hence myself.
He is a decent human being going through life the best way he knows how.
Just because I want everything but mediocrity, doesn't make him wrong.
It just makes for a challenging go of it.

Will we make it?
Tic toc tic toc.
Time will tell.

We sure try a lot.
Bless his heart for not giving up.
And bless mine for returning to the heart and just pouring out love.


The concerns here, well, I am sure many people face.
It's just... how do people move forward with adversity at hand, and others quit eitther at the slightest upset or after lengthy crash and burn sessions.

Hmmm, I still have much to learn.

Dear Mephys, I hear you when you talk about "control".
In the end there is no such thing.
There are just two people trying to do their best.

Dear Krikit, thanks for making me giggle.
A sense of humour rules!

Dear Len, I had no idea of your husband's illness.
Wow. You are a brave and courageous woman.
More power to ya girrrrrl!
Cliché?!
Hee, hee.
Still, I wish for the both of you much strength and health.
Thank you for your beautiful post (self expression).



I may be sad about things as they are at the moment, and that is only because I want to improve things.
I am so sick of the constant battle.
It is always lose/lose.
I feel sick to my stomach when we disagree.

We need to raise our game.
Yes.
Create something awesome.

The main thing I have learned and that I'm still learning, is compromise. Sometimes you just have to let go of some stupid things that are important for your husband, and the day you will really need it, he's gonna let go as well to make you feel better. Relationship is all about sharing and trusting each other, but the sharing part isn't necessarly all about cute stuff and butterflies, it's also sharing bad situations or bad moods, and try to make the best out of it and support each other.

I cannot word beautiful sentences like you do, but I am sure you get the point

Whatever you decide, you have to let go of all those battles, it's just turning good energy in negative energy, and it makes you sick. Looking at yourself and try to accept some things the way they are might make you change the way you see them. I have no clue how to word that, but anyhow, I hope you find your way, no matter what it is.



And this should have said :

To raise our game, we need.
Yes.

Spirit... sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better about the arguments between me and the bf is when the fight is over (not necessarily resolved) and he looks at me and just says "we'll be ok."

It gives me hope that he didn't move all the way from the southern nether regions of the US all the way up to Bellingham just to give up. It's clear that to now he's made the bigger sacrifices and this is our first time spending time together since he got here. It has only been 3 weeks of real time other than the visits he made back in the spring.

I used to get so upset over how we would fight and get on each other and we had only been together for such a short time. I thought we were doomed. Now... I just know that we're both going to have to try harder and like you, find different ways to fix things. He says that time is going to help us.

Sometimes I don't have the answers and neither does but that somehow does give me comfort. That we don't know what to do always but we love each other enough to keep on going... we haven't lived together (yet) but I have spent a lot of time with him to know that NOW I am seeing the real him!

My fellow Vancouverite... I hope you find some peace tonight. Your hubby is a lucky man to have you!

I've found that a good way to judge the importance of an issue is to answer these questions:

1. Will it matter next month?
2. Will it matter next year?
3. Will it matter in 10 years?

Helps you to work through what's important to you and what's not.

Wow... there have been some really beautiful and introspective and commonsensical things written in the past bit of posts in response to SpriritAlight. Some of these posts are the kind of thing that might be good to take quotes from to put together into a little page that you can look at when things are seeming not so great.

What I do have to say to your situation directly, Spirit, is that it seems to me like you were hoping you could go into this huge change being wholly yourself, just with another person in the same house and doing the same things as you. I know we are all different, and I wouldn't normally ever offer my opinions on such important things to anyone, but I think that a person needs to go into a committed relationship allowing for not "one to become two", but rather two to become three. A healthy relationship should have two separate people, as well as a couple, imo.
There doesn't necessarily have to be a reason to feel like you are being held back from being who you are or growing as an individual. The things you want out of life that your man doesn't seem to want to explore (you mentioned "status quo")... does he just need more inspiration or something? If you could fully put together a "business plan" for something that you'd like to see happen, would he possibly consider your ideas? I know the term business plan is pretty much the opposite of being free to be the person you feel you need to be, I don't think it has to be if you work with a short time frame and small victories.

utterly appalling!!! - sorry just read this now - I hope things have gotten better.

kelland 34 --- you are wise!

Great words... I can't wait to talk to my sweetie about what you posted.

Wow!
Sprailenes, that is unbelievable.
It takes a whole community to strengthen and support a couple.
Blast them!!!
Grrrr.....

The spotlight is on companionship and how to make it smooth and wonder-full.

Yup.

Thank you Mephys.
You need not be poetic like me (at times)
nor sophisticated like Mumsie to have impact.
You are sweet and caring.
It looks like you might even be maturing too!
Hee, hee.
Teasing you, I am.



Dear Brown Eyes,
Talk about making me feel inclusive.
Thanks to you for your beautiful sentiments and sharing of your life.
Embarking on such long committed journeys is not my forté.
I am old and I am young.
Always the paradox.
Ha!

Yes, my sweetie tells me that every day he wakes up with a renewed sense of being (he uses his own words).
And so, he is refreshed and starts on a positive note.
This is a great survival mechanism.



Dear Kelland,
WOW!
Thank you too.
The amount of care pouring out on these pages blows me away.
It is challenging to know eachother with just our words, and yet... (I am referring to us all on VJ)
I work better face-to-face (vis-a-vis).
The idea of small, short term "projects" works for me.
Hmmm...continuing on the drawing board...
You inspired something...me likey!

And yes, many great quotes from so many here.

Thank you too again Krikit.
I work that way too.
It seems we get stuck in a loop sometimes.
Hey, it even happened on the phone earlier this afternoon.
The sensitivity has grown and so things seem worse...
Must breathe and slowwwwwww dowwwwwwwnnnnn.
Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm....

Marriage is not easy. My first marriage only lasted 3 weeks- I used to be sad that I never even got to experience what real marriage was like. Now I am in a real marriage and sometimes I have feelings that I still don't know what it is supposed to be like.

I hate the feeling of not truly believing I belong here. This is Mel's home. We didn't build this home together, we didn't both work to build everything up together. This was his grandparents home- he grew up here. Things are still as his grandma left them. I have no say in what happens in this home. I feel like a guest. If we got divorced tomorrow- his life would not change one bit. Sometimes I feel so resentful because of that. Nothing would change in his life except the fact I was not in it.

I used to be able to talk to him about anything- I was always so open and honest. He always seemed to accept my point of view and see where I was coming from. When we had our first big fight- everything I had ever said came flying back at me in a negative way. Now I am at the point where I don't feel I can truly confide. I can't live the rest of my life keeping things "light and fluffy" I want a best friend. I want a true partner, I want someone who loves me and truly understands me.

Blah Blah Blah (Iggy Pop)- I'm starting to cry.

Well here it is.
More brutally honest expression.

Dear MissStacey,

Now that is truly tough.
And you have made so curious about your first extremely short marriage.
But you need not go there...

Moving into a man's house when it and he are established...my friend did that in Montreal.
It is his house.
A man's house.
Dark and museum-like.
Nothing says a woman lives there.
Sigh.

I moved into my sweetie's house and it was a wreck.
Left to rot by all the male roommates over the years.
I cleaned and cleaned and cursed in at least 5 languages!
It never helped.
That wallpaper!!!
Arrrrr!
We moved into an apartment at the end of June.
We finally got furniture on Sunday.
We only had a bed and some tables.
Thank goodness a sailing friend is moving and it was easy to go to one place and get some cool shtuff.
An antique dining set that goes with my antique velvet loveseat, hutch and all.
A huge mirror.
Bookshelves, etc etc.
I am finally unpacking some of my few belongings I brought from Vancouver and Montreal.

The house?
Well, it needs to be refurbished and sold.
Bah!
A project.
I let go.

As for your situation MissStacey, does your sweetie get your needs?
If not he really needs to be told by another person.
Seriously, you will leave one day and he will not know why.
That would suck for you mostly.
Except, well, I am not one to judge.
Everything happens for a reason.
And all is perfect.
There are no mistakes they say, only experiences or situations.
Yesssss.

What will you do?

Do you at least have one room that is yours?

Oh dear.

Aww so many painful souls today, I wish I could be more help...and when I read you all sometimes it makes me feel selfish for being sad about such and such silly things that has nothing to compare. I have a wonderful husband I can count on, and most of our fights are just stupid things that don't matter in the end. We both started all over, moved into an appartment together, and hopefully in a near future we will buy a house that we will make our home for the years to come, and who knows, maybe add a member in the family.

All I can say is be strong and follow your hearts Miss Stacey and Spirit

Mephys, your avatar helps!

How 'bout this for a chuckle?

Twelvity-five points. And the face!

When we got bored of regular Scrabble we (meaning my friends and family in Ontario) used to play Trailer Trash Scrabble..... where you could make up words or strings of words.... as long as you used them in a sentence and it made sense. But it had to be ghetto. I scored the all-time best at 175 points for one word. Or is that one hundred and twelvity-five points?

tee hee.. i Have but sadly this is right on the knuckle of my index fingers both hands

Brown Eyes!
I love it!
Hey, I use that word every time I see a kitteh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(We have forgotten who we are.
We are Canadian, from the Canadian VJ forum...we use exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!)
What an adorable scruff meister.


Krikit, please do tell us your winning trailer trash word.
That sounds like a fund game to play, except, how/why did YOU win?

Aww MissStacey, i'm really sorry to hear this, I feel for you. When you say

"I used to be able to talk to him about anything- I was always so open and honest. He always seemed to accept my point of view and see where I was coming from. When we had our first big fight- everything I had ever said came flying back at me in a negative way. Now I am at the point where I don't feel I can truly confide."

That has got to be so hurtful to you and also not right, but you already know that. You love your Husband, you are stuck in a bad situation, I have no idea how someone turns something like this around, so I won't pretend to. I just hope you are able to see a way through or out, I wish you well.

this health insurance crap is driving me crazy

I wish I could remember! We always laughed so much with this game, and said we'd never forget the words. But I did. Next time I'll write them down. lol

Aye!
I am dealing with the crapola for dental insurance at the moment.
What was the point?
Grrrr...

I feel your pain. Depends on what your needs are but I chose the most expensive one (with better coverage)!

Have I told the story of my ER visit which cost $2500? Or a simple eye prescription costing $125?

I believe it is better to have the best coverage rather than be in a financial bind.

How do you pass the time. All of this waiting is driving us crazy. Try to focus on work but having trouble doing it. Thank god there is a weekend coming up. But they don't get mail up in Canada on the weekend so if its not in the mail today, its not until Tuesday. Mary suggested that she sit downstairs and wait for the mailman each day. Our lives feel like we are frozen solid, and only this letter can thaw us out. Its hard to think and plan, since we have no idea within a few possible dates, when things can move forward. Mary's son is already going to miss at least the first month of school. I feel like a cog in a machine, a pawn in some game, waiting for some God-like figure to put us into play. Until then, our lives are on hold. Out of our control.

we didn't have much to choose from either HMO which was going to be between 200 to 300 bucks a month and when you are only making between $1500 to $2000 a month that is a lot or are other choice was HSA... we went with HSA, we will see how it goes

yeah I know all about medical bills.. the insurance with his last job payed up to 90 percent of the total charge so we had to pay the co/pays and the 10% ..that still adds up... I racked up a lot of bills last December I was in and out of the hospital a lot...

I can relate to the marriage issues...

I've been having troubling emotions (and lack of) regarding this for a long while now. I thought it would go away once my husband and I were together again, but it hasn't. I tried going to counseling for it, but talking to my counselor was like talking to a brick wall.

Everything is so passionless. I'm definitely not considering divorce or anything like that because I do love him dearly, but it feels like I'm living with a roommate rather than a love.

I don't know how to fix this...

With regards to a counselor,one has to find one that they feel comfortable working with.

the therapist I saw earlier this year was really good... I felt very comfortable with her...

ARGH! WHen will hubby get a job??? I know it has only been 3 weeks that he has been out of work, but it is frightening to me that he has applied everywhere and no one is calling him. Jobs in his field are scarce in this area right now. My salary is not enough to pay all of our monthly bills. We had some savings, mostly used during my 3 month maternity leave. We figured we would be fine once I returned to work. I feel so hopeless. It is so frustrating to look at job postings online and find tons of jobs in southern NH, about 3 hours away, but not up here. We have talked about hubby trying to find a job in CT, in a more populated area, and live with my dad during the week and only come home on weekends, but hubby is pretty resistant right now, since he doesn't want to leave me alone with the baby. But pretty soon, when our savings run out, we won't have many other choices. It just feels like we keep getting hit with stuff. First Declan's surgery, then hubby being laid off ... and now medical bills are just pouring in ... to the tune of $20,000 because apparently the insurance covers the hospital, but the doctors, who bill separately, are not covered providers. When will it stop?

Oh Necrotica, I feel sad for you. Have you tried spending more Romantic time together? I mean more like when you guys use to visit each other while the Visa is in process ? Sometimes everyday life settles in and we need a litte slap in the face to realize hor faw we are dragging from what brought us together, and believe me some weeks that are more rouhg of us (kids, work wise, etc) we sometimes look at it and "WTF we haven't kissed each other today" or "we are too tired to even talk to each other " and it helps us to make a particular moment just for the 2 of us with nothing else to disturbs us.

I hope you guys work it out



I hope your husband finds something soon Isn't there any possibility that he could take just a temporary job just to help paying a few bills while he's looking for a more permanent type of job ? I know my husband used to work in one of those 24h department /food store to restock the shelves during the evening as a second job to help meet the ends when he just had one of his kids. Ya know that kind of reallly boring job that everybody hates, but that they are always looking to hire people because they need help. I mean it might a good idea just to look in that kidna of jobs just for a while. It's better than sitting at home.

Waiting definitely gets wearing. lol. The nice thing about time is that it passes. But once you get to where you are meant to be, it will seem like no time at all. Today, you are closer than you were yesterday. Tomorrow you will be closer still. Enjoy what you have right now, because it will be gone tomorrow.

Wow, I just reread that. It sounds like a bunch of platitudes. But they are so true. Honestly. During my wait, I enjoyed everything I had while I had it.... because, all too soon, it was going to change. Anyway.... I'll shut up now. lol



Ohhh, I"m so sorry Autumn. I like Mephys' idea. Your husband's a carpenter, right? My cousin's husband is a carpenter, also. When he became unemployed, he spoke directly to a guy he met at a store who was getting out of a contractor's vehicle..... and he's been employed with him for the last year! I wonder if he could put his name down with Home Depot or something? I know they employ tradesmen. Don't they have a service where you can hire someone to come and do stuff for you? Or maybe an ad in the paper or online offering his services. Maybe he can start his own business!

Dear AutumnChik,

Obviously times are stressful.
And I'm sorry to read of your challenging times.
And as Krikit said, (your husband) trying out freelance may be the best idea whilst still looking for something full-time.

What an opportunity!

I know quite a few carpenters; all in different types of carpentry work.
The only one not working at the moment is the USC, my brother-in-law.
Apparently, finding such full-time work in Peoria, IL is "impossible".
He has a 2 year old and a new one in the making.
The others work in B.C and in Quebec.
The one in Montreal has been creating one of kind pieces of furniture that pays super well.
Some of his pieces are extremely creative...beautiful.
He also builds custom kitchens, and other storage projects in people's homes.
The others that work in BC work for large companies; one does industrial finishing and another builds/creates unique log homes/buildings.




"I have questions.
Questions that need answering."
Why does it seem to me that it is harder to find work in the U.S.?
Wasn't there a time that it was way more abundant?