HUGS Autumnchik,

Breastfeeding can be hard when the baby wont cooperate. I can give you a few tips the nurses gave me when i first started and a few things i noticed also. First does the little one have jaundice. Just asking cause when my kids had it they were more sleepy, I had to flick their little feet to keep them awake. Also strip them down to the diaper so it would wake them up (helps more if it cooler out). Umm oh ya if your also using a bottle stop it if you can, babies can get nipple confussion.( I hate it when they offer a baby a bottle in the hospital the nurses know better if the mom wants to breastfeed) Or at least avoid it as much as possible when babies get hungry they will stay awake, plus formula can keep them full longer then breast milk. Dont feed on a schedual feed when the little one wants till the two of you get the hang of it. I myself fed on demand the entire time (15months) it can be a pain, but its also alot easier then a bottle. Also when I had my kids they gave lots of information sheets some should have how many wet diapers you need to look out for if you want to avoid bottles so you wont start worrying about that too. Since you and baby are so new you can always encourage him to feed every time theres some fussing or level of alertness, it will encourage milk production too.
And plz plz dont get frustrated keep trying you will get it some babies just need a bit more help then others.

Danielle

I am having horrible, horrible mental issues right now.

Things have not been good here lately.

Aww Hugs to Necrotica

let it out if you need too

*hugs* Thank you very much... I really want to let it out, but I'm having trouble expressing myself right now. I'm sure it'll come out soon enough.

sorry hun..
talk to any of us here or in private..

Howdy!! I really enjoyed my OB rotation this past semester (RN student). Many people think breastfeeding comes naturally to the baby, but that isnt always the case. Can you make an appt with a lactation consultant? They have oodles of knowledge, a lot better than the internet,lol Your family Dr should be able to point you in the right direction. Are you giving the baby bottles as well? I was suprised of all the facts I learned about breastmilk. I just thought the milk that came out was the same, but no! The first milk that comes (foremilk)out is more quenching, and the hindmilk which is richer in fat and more satisfying, and that leads to weigh gain. Which is 1 reason why one should stick to 1 breast for a bit so they get the hindmilk!! I didnt know that, you probably do. And the more you breastfeed, the more milk you wil keep producing and reduce breast swelling,so many tid bits of info--sort of a study reminder for myself,lol

Tips from my book on a baby that falls asleep while feeding:

Rub babys hair or cheeks gently, stroke around mouth, or shift position to see if he wil wake up

remove baby from breast,rub infants back to bring up bubbles of air and help awaken baby

wash babys face with a lukewarm cloth to wake up baby

And of course the mothers Nipples come into play as well. flat or inverted nipples can cause problems, but there are ways to fix that.

This is just a bit of info, which you are probably very aware of. I do strongly recommend you see a lactation consultant,they have a wealth of knowledge. And if you decide to bottle feed, there is nothing wrong with that! yes moms milk is the best, but bottle milk is still a healthy choice, and your not a bad mom nor a failure!! Millions of babys are bottle fed, I was, and look how normal i am? lol And I hope you have someone you can discuss with about your baby blues, it is a real problem. your body has gone through soo many changes the past 9 or so months, hormonal levels going crazy and its a stressful (and joyful) experience. Your doing great by asking questions, congrats on being a mom!!

Aww Autumn! I want to suggest that you not beat yourself up about this, however when you are already frustrated and feeling down, that is not a very helpful suggestion is it?

Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, but if you have had enough, then why not go ahead and use formula. I just want to say that my 6' 3" strapping baby boy is healthy and happy and he drank Similac!!

flames...you're going to be an excellent nurse!!! What a wonderul posting. You sound just like the caring nurse I had when I had trouble breastfeeding. It does take time...and I was so stressed, which if it hasn't been said already, GREATLY impacts your ability to breastfeed. Don't ever think your baby doesn't know when you're having difficulty and doesn't want to feed. I have very dark hair, but very fair skin...and my nipples were very sensitive and not "tough" at all. I had to sit under lamps, I had bleeding and broken nipples for the longest time. I eventually persisted however, and got the knack, and the toughened up nipples! With everything that's going on...new baby, and the not so nice experiences with breastfeeding, make sure you are doing nice things for YOURSELF.

Also remember, while breastfeeding is wonderful...it's not for everyone. Getting down on yourself for things not going great in that area right now, can further your dumping on yourself this affects your hormones and self esteem. This is NOT about you being a good mother. It's not about you as a person either.

A happy mother, is passed onto baby. Get some help from here if you can. They're really helpful, and if someone is in your area, they can come out and help out as well.

http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Let us know how things are going for you. You deserve all the hugs and caring you want!

I'm sorry to hear that Necrotica, vent away when you are ready!!

Liz, it really does sound like fleas or bed bugs, I hope your potions get rid of whatever it is!

And Spirit, you soooo need to move to Florida!!

WOW!
What a couple of great pages of shtuff.
Full on.

Lesseee, Mumsie and Krikit and their seafoam green bathrooms. Sounds yummy.
Okay, I shall prep a photo for posting...you will get a laugh at mine (the accessories).
Thanks for the song lyrics Mumsie. Nice find!


Sweet Liz, do be careful with all those poisons. After all what you put into your air, is what you ingest.
Even sleeping on sheets that have been sprayed or something will find its way into your organs.
Can you stay somewhere else while your place is fumigated?
Maybe that way you can see if your bites will stop.
What I have heard about bedbugs is there would be some red (blood) streaks on your sheets if that was the case.


Kang Lang, yes absolutely, relationships can be brutal. All kinds of relationships; remember ones with parents, siblings, best friends? Yup, it's all there: emotion.
Please do read The Four Agreements, it will help you and your partner tons.
A synopsis here: http://www.miguelruiz.com/fouragreements.html (scroll down on the page).
I live by these principles as much as humanly possible.


Autumnchick, you are definitely not alone. My good friend would lay down with her baby from sheer exhaustion of trying to breastfeed.
It worked eventually. It became so natural in time.
And Flames, who would have thunk such advice would come from you.
I commend you.
Great going!
Congrats on transforming yourself into an awesome nurse and medical helper.


Necrotica, what can I say here. There is a difference (obviously) between mental and emotional problems.
A person close to me is under going some psychiatric testing to see where they are at, having thought it was all emotional.
I do not condone medication, and yet it is necessary for some people.
My preference is to have the people who care about you to talk to.
After all, the things left unsaid are the poisons in our lives.





Dearest Ron and Sharon, my tiny knowledge on metaphysics tells me that you both do not want to live under these conditions, with good reason.
Please know that disease is really dis-ease (out of ease). This may sound trite, however I would love for you to read this and get that I am reaching beyond the surface, getting to core of the matter.

Things for you (all) to do: take the greatest of care of yourselves.
Eat well. Do this! It is really challenging to nourish the body when you don't feel well.
Exercise or dance or stretch...breathe. Getting into your body takes you out of your mind...where fear lies. Believe me I know.
Support: keep talking. To us, to loved ones, to strangers at a park bench, to a professional. Every one.
Turn your face to the sun, close your eyes and visualize the results you want.
Please know that even thought this all may sound like a greeting card or something (bah), it is coming straight from my heart to yours.



Phew, I can't believe I remembered all this to respond to in one shot.

Yup, you are not kidding.
I had this fantasy of living in SanFran and after speaking to a family member (in-law) who has lived there 30 years, San Diego would be better if we do go to the West Coast.
So many places to explore and only one of me!
Hee, hee.

Here's a partial look.
Have a giggle:







What else are ya gonna do...but the best under the circumstances.
Ha!
All I can think about when I look at that shower curtain is
"Meet George Jetson..."

Holy crap! you weren't kidding about the colours!!!

and yes, I know introducing a bunch of chemicals into our house is obviously dangerous...
Yesterday I called Orkin but they wouldn't give me an appt b/c we're not the owners of the unit.

So I wrote an email to our landlord all pissed off but polite =) that the building's maintenance isn't doing anything and the seasonal spraying that the building does actually skipped our appt last time b/c I needed an extra min to get out when then came in and they said they'd be back. Three hrs later when we returned to our unit from the dog park, giving our place ample time to air out, there was no sign in our appt like they normally leave saying that they were in our place and sprayed

our place is so ghetto. I can't wait til I get a job and we start house hunting and find something of our own.

sigh.

Woo hoo Spirit! I like it

I personally couldn't do anything like that because a lot of stuff and/or color makes me squirrelly - however, I can totally appreciate it and it is such a happy room

I wouldn't do any illegal substances in that bathroom if I were you..

not that you do any....

=) but just in case!!!

I completely understand.
Hee, hee.
You should see the razzle dazzly bath mat too.
It is all fun.
As it should be.

What with all the pee tests, etc. one needs to remain "good" here in the U.S. of A.
Oh but you can drink yourself into a stupor!!!
That is legal.
Bah.

hehehe
the first time I read "pee Tests", I thought pregnancy test

guess I've got baby on the brain!

AND NO WE'RE NOT PREGNANT NOR ARE WE TRYING!!
=)

Nice one.

If you change your mind be sure to post a video and some pics here.

I've taken a few pee tests in my time, apparently I'm a 60 year-old post-menopausal woman with osteoporosis.

Holy Pictures of Matchstick Men, all I can say is Mingusmellowtastic. I've seen this before, I think I was using paint thinner in an unventilated area at the time. Actually it looks like the opening of Rocky and Bullwinkle, it even has a sunflower.

I believe you, honestly I do.

BTW, use some of those wonderful bug killers in your apartment without proper ventilation and you'll see all sorts of things. Seriously be careful, organophosphate poisoning sucks, been there done that. I was lucky, only got diaphoresis (excessive sweating). The same stuff that they use in nerve gas is the same stuff that is used in insecticides. Kind of makes you think, doesn't it.

Mumsie, you are sick sick man.
I love it!


If any of you find yourselves in the Chicago area, do come by for a grand tour of the facilities.
You will be required to wear dark sunglasses before entering.
I'm not quite done with it yet.

Oh yeah, and some bubble making apparatus!

argh, hubby's new job isn't looking so rosy... he thinks he might be getting fired...

I guess they fired another guy they hired recently because the guy lied on his resume and he didn't pass his drug test so now the boss has turned his attention to my hubby.. (the boss isn't actually the guy who interviewed him)... hubby thinks the owner is wondering why they hired him when he doesn't have a lot of experience... thing is they knew that off the bat and said they would give him about a months training but now they are hinting around that they are going to send him out on his own soon, hubby thinks today...

it seems like they expect him to be an expert after only 2 weeks

my hubby has been super excited about this job but all last night and this morning he was so unhappy

Awww that sucks!
Sorry to hear about this MarilynP.

aww that's so sad...

tell him we all are really thinking about him here..

thanks guys and gals....



on Wednesday they called hubby up and told him to not to come into work because everyone was out on service calls already.. he did work yesterday and today they called him again and told him not to come in because of the weather and they said everyone was out on service calls already...

what really sucks is that we are going to be a couple hundred dollars short on our next pay check.

they just need to come out and say if they want to keep him around or not so he can look for something else...

honey, I think you should throw his resume out there again now anyway
I hate companies that are run by spineless twits!

they've got 3 months to bullsh!t him around, I'm sure.. so maybe hubby should get out sooner than later if they're behaving so juvenile. Think about what if they yanked his chain for another 2 more months to eventually fire him and buy then, you two would be in a very bad financial place..

we are already in a semi-bad financial state and this isn't helping.... yeah maybe I will suggest to my hubby that he should look around for another job...

he was so thrilled to get this job... I feel so bad for him....

That really, really sucks. I'm sorry this is happening to the two of you. Réjean just went through this recently, which is one of the many reasons why I came here so distraught the other night.

I am just getting tired of this... things start to look up for us and then blam we are knocked back down

The longer he stays there, the unhappier he'll continue to be and the more uncertain you will be financially..

I think he should start looking immediately. He deserves to work for someone who wants him to come to work.. and he should be happy waking up to it every morning..

Your job is a huge part of your day to day happiness and too many people get stuck in jobs they hate, where their bosses treat them like crap and behave like the employees should be innately honored by management for letting them work there

its just weird because it seemed to be going so good and now this week it has totally changed

I have a lot to vent about. This may or may not be split up into different posts; I don't know yet. This is long.

I guess I'll start at the beginning...

I have a lot of disabilities. I'm autistic (high-functioning), I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, severe depression (which was in remission before all this crap started happening), other mental issues (condensed for the sake of brevity), a back deformity that has the capability of causing me so much pain that I can't even walk, and some mystery joint pain in my fingers which makes using my right hand very painful (a couple of doctors are giving me conflicting diagnoses regarding that). Despite all of this, I had worked in my current job doing Medicare customer service for almost a year... until this past March.

I was doing ok at work for the most part until they started training me to do other things. The stress of this combined with my disabilities and the fact that they would make no accommodations whatsoever for me even though they could have led to me having a series of breakdowns until I finally had a massive one that has rendered me completely unable to work. So far, these two months off have been unpaid. My short-term disability claim has not gone through yet, and part of me doubts that it will be approved, anyway.

Only a few days before this final breakdown happened, Réjean got his first job here in the USA. It was a WONDERFUL job that he enjoyed very much and that paid well. Well enough to where it was enough to pay the bills and have a little left over despite me not working. Not long after he got this job, though, his car's transmission went out. He had bought this car with last year's Canada tax return for $800 off of Craigslist (never, ever again), and it didn't even last a month. Because of this, we had to finance a car in order for us to even be able to get another one because we had no money saved up to buy another one outright. This has resulted in an extra $280 or so a month in expenses (including the additional insurance). At that point, we were barely making it...

Then Réjean got fired.

It was very unexpected. We thought everything was going great. The employer's reason for letting him go was that he "didn't have the skills they needed". What the hell; he's been a woodworker for 16 years and can do the job from start to finish! The only exception to this was that he has never done residential woodworking before, only commercial. But still, they knew this when they hired him! Couldn't they have at least given him a LITTLE training?

He managed to get another job only two days later... for $8/hour. For the past three weeks or so, both of us has been living on $8 an hour. We've missed two bills already and rent is due no later than the 5th of the month.

This is why I had such issues the other night. Nothing was progressing. We were still waiting on our economic stimulus check or my tax return so that we could pay rent, still waiting on employers that Réjean has interviewed with to get a better job, still waiting on a lot of things to come through to make our situation better. Plus my car requires about $500 worth of repairs or more that there's no way we can afford at this point.

Just yesterday, Réjean got an offer for that better job. It pays less than his original one, but it is better than $8/hour and is a little bit closer. Plus it deals with commercial woodworking instead of residential. I also got a call from my new Vocational Rehabilitation counselor and got an appointment set up for June 3rd to help get me back into the system to get some job assistance, and just today, we got my US tax return so we can pay rent. Things are FINALLY starting to look up.

Still upset about my disabilities, though... but that's a rant for another time.

Necrotica, i'm sorry to hear all of that - it does sound so tough. It's obviously a very stressful time and i'm so glad that things are now on the upswing.

I don't have any great words of wisdom, a few years from now you two will look back on this and just say - what the heck was that!?!? Doesn't help much right now, but just know that it will get better.

Wishing you two lots and lots of happiness

sounds like you are having a rough go of it too, Necrotica

aww, both of you so need someone to cut you some slack.. I hope the job fronts improve very soon for you both..

I can't really help in any way but offer my good thoughts and and keep you in my heart..
take care dears..

I know venting is a little futile at this point but all couples go through their rough patches.. I remember my parents telling me that when they first got married, they lived pay cheque to pay cheque for at least a few years... (something about schools in india not paying my dad when he was a teacher)..

I find life very hard for new couples when they start off, but it gets better..

Love you both.

yeah, it is almost like someone up there doesn't want us to have a happy life

that being said I am very happy with my hubby... I love him to death

I think these "tough" times bond marriages... I think it preps you for really big struggles, like illnesses in the family, children.. etc..

and it's great that you find solace in your love ! Lots of couples do so where but don't have any real chemistry between them to keep them going and end up splitting anyway..

well, we have had plenty of tough times in our 4 year marriage already, with the loss of two babies and hubby losing his mom and financial crap etc...

just would be nice for things to start looking up...

yeah I don't think I would go through all this without him....

Oh Marilyn and Necrotica I sure feel your pain. With me not working yet and only 1 person working (2 jobs, but has done that for years) and trying to keep up here with our bills and still send money home to my account to pay off my car loan and money owed there (till about March of next year if I get a job that I bring home at least 1200 a month not asking much I don't think, but does seem to be proving difficult). I can't wait till this year is over and we will be in a better position financially, knocking on wood as we have no savings and things keep coming up that bump you right back down. Like it was said we will all survive this and look back and see how great we did in the pressure of it all (a few years from now).

I hope the job front looks up for both of you and your spouses very soon.

oh, I'm sorry honey..
that is a rough start..

just think of it as God knowing how perfect you are together that he wants to REALLY REALLY test you because you guys are so strong together and then you won't have any problems forever..

I promise
(I think)

Wow, so much sad and yucky news here.

Necrotica and Marylin, I hope both your partners find high paying amazing jobs in good organizations.
Marylin et al...maybe you want to say: "love him to life" (instead of death).

And Necrotica, I can see by your list of things ailing you, that you certainly have your hands full.
I believed I had fibromyalgia (sp?) due to so many inexplainable aches and pains and fatigue, etc from years gone by.
I was sent by my then employer (a print shop back in 1995 in Vanc.) to see a doctor.
Reluctantly I went and that person told me to stop working immediately, stop training/teaching karate, to go to physio, massage, etc etc...I saw a few other doctors after that and many many health professionals, and guess what: nothing worked! And I missed training! Bleh.
So I said screw it to the Western medical system, and took matters into my own hands.
I had refused pain killers and they didn't like that.
Found a better job at a college, went back to training and found an amazing shiatsu woman.
Even looked at my nutrition intake.
Food has a lot to do with mental as well as physical well-being.

I still have aches and pains, etc, and sometimes they are manageable and sometimes they hurt like hell.
I remember to stretch and try to find fun things to do to make me feel better (emotionally).
It curbs it.
A life of full on athleticism and dance has probably been the cause (not to mention having had some injuries, ha! ya think?!)
I still sail competitively and work through any discomfort.
Obviously I am not in such pain, like you, that I cannot walk...that I am so sorry to read about.

As for the autism, I recommend you watch the movie "Mozart and the Whale" about Asperger's....it made me feel normal.
One of my good friends and I suffer from the same affliction: over-achieving!
Not to mention many "over" thingies...
My life's lesson has been to stop being a perfectionist.
It'll kill ya!

How are your itches coming along Liz?
Did you get some cortizone?
It should work to calm the bites.

What has happened to The Land of Opportunity?
Everything seems so tough!
Is it still a who you know kinda deal?

hehehe
I got the Benadryl Extra Strength Anti-Itch Cream and it works pretty well.. Only had to apply it about 3 times last night before I could fall asleep

Is that very Different from the Cortisone cream?
I'm thinking that it would be even stronger!! which I could probably use...


calamine lotion does jack sh!t for me.

Well blah about your Husband's new job Marilyn!! Sounds like they just don't know what they are doing over there! Hopefully things will straighten out for him and it will turn out to be a great opportunity after all.

((((((((((((((((Marilyn)))))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((((((((Necrotica)))))))))))))))))))))

Seems there are tough times for so many people...I wish I could change that. For all of us.

Momma used to say (and this isn't her quote originally - not sure where she heard it from) that "when you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on...the only way to go then is up".

*ties a knot and attempts to hold on too*

Marilyn and Necrotica I thought I posted before but apparently I didn't so forgive this very belated post. Frequently what happens is the person that hired you gets moved or leaves their post and the new boss decides that he or she want his or her own people. I've experienced this a few times and my brother just went through this a year ago. Things will get better, I know that they will. As Spirit, KarenCee, Trailmix, Liz and so many aothers have already said, there is a lot of negativity out there manifesting itself, the only solution is to face the problem, work out a plan and try not to dwell on the problem. My heart goes out to anyone who is suffering right now.

well, what happened in my hubby's case is that the guy who hired him caught a lot of flack for hiring the other guy that didn't pass the drug test and lied on his resume.. he was hired 2 or 3 weeks before my hubby.... now they are turning their attention to my hubby and the owner (he is not the guy who interviewed my hubby) is prolly wondering why they hired somebody with not a lot of experience.. the guy who did interview him hired him because of the school hubby is going to..

the guy that hired my hubby is still there and he is the one that had a "talk" with my hubby on Thursday.... he told my hubby that he was the one who wanted this job and she should buy his tools and stuff .... basically telling him get with the program or something... hubby told me that the guy he rides along with is the type that likes to do everything himself and doesn't really let my hubby do anything....

it is just weird because they are expecting him to be ab expert after only about 2 weeks...