I haven't even started this Journey called I-129f or K-1...but if I live alone too....doing a job that causes me more f-ing stress than i know what to do..living in a city, although beautiful, I have very few friends as i have not yet been here a year. I spend as much time as I can trying to juggle scheduales so I can spend a freaking OVERNIGHT visit with Zan, or him with me...
anyway...what I wanted to say was...if you ever need some to rant to in person over a nice glass of wine...give me a shout!

Tangie

Thanks to everyone for being so nice after my insulting rant. I agree with most of what was said to me, and thanks for your support. I understand how you guys can miss Canada, especially after John explained to me how we won't be able to afford to take our future kids to the dentist
I do have a job at a grocery store, but I just started, and they keep having problems with getting my employee # from head office, so they can't get me onto the punch clock or computer or anything, and the days have just run into weeks while I wait to start there. I also had a second interview at walmart (for the night shift, so I can work both jobs) and they promised they would let me know one way or the other by wednesday. That was yesterday and I still haven't heard. I think not having anything to do is a big part of my depression. Hopefully I will get that job at walmart and they will get things straightened out at the grocery store. I have two degrees, but this is all I can hope for in this small town - there are almost no jobs here.
I just want to clarify one thing - I have lived in Orlando for the last three years, worked there, gone to school there, met my husband there, etc. I have lived there since I left university. All my friends are there, all my things are there, John is there, my memories are there, my favorite bar is there and the world's best bartender, Laura, is there. John gets to continue living his life, while I am stuck in the spare bedroom of my mother's boyfriend's house, feeling very much like Harry Potter shoved into the cupboard under the stairs and forgotten about.
That being said, I AM trying to be positive, but at least once a day it all comes bursting out of me in a flood of anger or tears. Thanks to everyone for being nice to me. This whole situation sucks.
PS I'm still not eating, but a few more pounds off my 200lb self won't kill me.

You're on the right track. Getting 2 jobs is not only good occupational therapy, but it gives you saving money for the upcoming moving and other expenses Take care of yourself sweetie, please do.

I'm venting. BLECH!

I'm tired of my job...tired of the whole thing. I'm trying hard to hang in there til the end of the school year but I tell ya, it's damn hard.

I had to deal with an "issue" today...two kids who don't get along. Haven't gotten along in a long time. I'm left covering a class for a fellow teacher who needs to be gone for a couple hours and guess who has to deal with the crap. ME. Two kids, one trips the other up in the bathroom (geez, do I have to go in there and monitor that too???) and the other one threatens bodily harm to the other one.

We have zero tolerance you see. Can't threaten. Can't try and hurt anyone. Defending oneself isn't a reason for punching or "whoopin' up" on anyone. This was the straw that broke the camel's back, proverbially speaking. We've all had it this year. Just so happens our School Resource Officer is in the building. She's had issues with these two as well. She happens to be one of our deputy sheriffs.

Momma and Daddy want to sue. They're already suing the middle school since big brother had to be restrained....for throwing desks in the classroom and endangering the other students. Now baby brother seems to be intent on following in big brother's footsteps.

Then I find out that big brother and baby brother have a mean azz daddy, this confirmed by another teacher, a veteran of our system who has also had enough and is moving on. What a loss. Anyway Daddy is apparently the leader of the KKK for this area. Didn't have any clue we still had such a brazen group of cowards around here in Podunkville GA USA but I guess I should have never assumed any different. No, Daddy isn't just a card carrying member...Daddy doesn't just wear the white robe. He wears the RED HAT...he's the man in charge. Now, normally I'd say the kid was bragging. However, not many kids that I know of know things like that unless they KNOW what they're talking about and this kid isn't one that talks about this at all. That's just it though...he's a KID. But a mean one. And to know this sorta makes me nervous.

Maybe I am overreacting but unfortunately this is not the first instance of this kind of behaviour I've experienced in my time. But after 13 years...I'm burned out now and today was that straw for me. My committment for this year goes through May 28th.

I want out.

Holy fking shiit Karen. That's scary as can be. sister - please take care of yourself... this is not cool. Those kids are learning hate from who should teach them love

I just read this and second my sister's concern. The Grand Moron and his spawn. Great. Please be careful, always travel in a group if possible during normal business hours and keep a cell phone on you at all times. By all means be aware of your surroundings. Circle your car, etc. Sorry, I don't mean to frighten you. I really feel bad for the kids but your safety comes first. Hang in there Karen! Only a few more weeks to go and tomorrow is Friday.

Oh Karen, I'm so sorry to hear this! How powerless you must feel in this situation. What is it about people's need to sue??? I will never understand that. As Len and IR5 have stated, you need to take care of yourself...particularly if you're going to be doing any progressive discipline. Someone that is brought up to hate others, and feels so superior, is going to have issues with anyone in authority. How truly sad.

You must really be in such a conflict as well when I know you love teaching so much, and yet you're constrained by bureaucracy. I remember you venting another time about how hard it is to teach now in the US. This whole "no child left behind" stuff is daunting and so punitive and does nothing but make teaching robotic and students try to be memory wizards!

Maybe it's time to take an honest look at teaching in the mainstream school system. I know nothing (sorry) about your town/city that you live in, but maybe some type of alternative school, hospital or prison might be something to look into?

When the system gets you down, and these monster children go crazy, know that we're here to support you!

I wish you much luck in finding balance and peace in your crazy teaching world.

Hugs

I concur with Len, Mumsie and Carlawarla's sentiments and ideas.

Number one: do take precautions and take care of yourself.
Number two: do some research on alternative schools. The kind that are smaller and teach more "holistically", or should I say whole-listically. I have two friends teaching/counselling in the Montesorri type schools. One of the two is basically on a farm in Surrey, BC. The children have goats and land and stuff. It is the coolest thing. The age range is from 6-15 (I believe) in that particular school, and the little I got involved with those kids, I was blown away. They are so mature.

This is what happens when kids are asked to participate in the way they learn and what they are learning.
They are brilliant and they take of eachother.
Please witness: http://www.rootsandwingsbc.com/

Maybe you can do some private teaching or tutoring?
What do I know about the education system? Almost nothing...except that it does not work (properly) as it has been set up; neither in the U.S. nor Canada.


Well, enough of my rambling.
You will choose the right path to take for yourself and others, I am certain.

Well, today I learned that the educators association that I am a member of (PAGE - Professional Association of Georgia Educators) has suggested that I and the others who witnessed this behaviour (many times over) write a detailed account of what happened and submit it to our organisation...just in case. At least PAGE offers us $1M protection, legally speaking. How sad that it comes to this. I was told that if the parents cannot successfully sue the deputy sheriff, they will more than likely come after us. *BIG SIGH*

I've looked into alternative places of education. They are few and very far between. I like the Montessori way of educating kids. None of that here. I do wish a school was available for special needs children. That's what I taught for 11 of my 13 years. There's so much paperwork now (and even more in special ed) that it makes the actual job of teaching almost an afterthought. Let's not forget all the bloody standardised testing we are required to do. GAH!

I dunno...I used to love teaching. LOVED IT. The one thing that keeps me hanging on, at least for this year, are my kids. They miss me when I'm out and actually come up and hug me (oh dear, I suppose I should stop that, eh?) on occasion. But even that isn't enough to make me want to endure another term. I've cried more the last two days than I have all year. I used to cry over not being able to reach some of my kids academically because I cared so damn much and wanted them to succeed. Now I cry over how burned out I am.

I'm sorry for ranting so much about this. You guys are all I have, except for Joel.

Oh Karen, I hope that you find a good solution to your problem. I'm sure there's one out there, just waiting for you to show up! ~hugs~

Okay, so I posted a new topic about it, but the doctor in Edmonton who does medicals was informed today that he can no longer do them. This means that my appointment was cancelled. I just think that is ridiculous! I mean come ON! Oh well, I'll get it all figured out eventually. Calgary or Vancouver I guess.

Oh yeah, and all vaccines are required for K1 and K3 visas at the consulates here in Canada. Vancouver finally emailed me back to let me know. How frustrating is that? I don't understand it at all but whatever.

I was so hopeful yesterday that this journey would be over in a month. Now I'm really worried. It seems like it might take a LOT longer now. ~sighs~

Karen sister,

Never too late for grad school my friend. You could become a fantastic teacher of teachers. PLEASE TAKE CARE.

Your friendly communist indoctrinator liberal educator, comrade Leninovski.

138 days and counting!

**hugs to Karen** !!!

Okay, so I'm really angry right now! I just talked to my mother. That should be enough said. ~sighs~ According to her I'm irresponsible because I'm packed but haven't dropped off the boxes at the specific agencies yet, like the salvation army, the library etc.

Also, I need to sell my car, but I'm really trying to wait until the last minute to do so. I suppose that's probably really stupid of me isn't it? I do need it though, right up until I leave. It's really a catch 22.

I should have known better than to continue talking to her especially after she said hello and I could tell she was tired and mad at someone! It just makes me so mad. She's like I know you're just gonna pack your suitcase, and leave your apartment full and go off and leave me to clean up all your mess, and I'm telling you right now, I'm not doing it! She was also like I know you're leaving and you're never going to see any of us again and I don't know how you can live with yourself, but hey that's just me.

Like seriously? I'm never going to visit?! She's so UGH! It's like my leaving to marry the man of my dreams and my best friend, is a personal insult to her. Get over yourself!

Okay, well, now I feel a little bit better, kind of.

I'm sorry hun...

This is a big change for everyone, your mum included...

I do think the car thing needs to get figured out..

Salvation army is quick and easy really..

See the BIG PICTURE.

maybe it'd help if you made plans for your mom to come see you in your new place in a month or so....

(ps are you an only child?)

(((((((((((((((((A Team)))))))))))))))) I wish I could offer something other than a hug. I hope things get squared away soon. I can't imagine how stressful all this is for you.

Oh Liz, I wish I were an only child! Mom's got 7 more, plus significant others at home. So, I have no idea what her real issue is. I guess I'm the only "good" child. ~giggles~ I am seeing the big picture thankfully, but right now all I see is that I want to leave this place. Running away from here is not going to change the emotional issues she and I have together. I'm always the one that she picks on and is negative about. She runs hot and cold. Sometimes she likes me, sometimes she really doesn't.

Hopefully she'll get to come down and see where we're living but she said she's not sure when/if she'll get to. It's a money thing you know. I'm trying to work on getting the silly car sold. That is a major concern of course.

I know that the Salvation Army is easy, and I'm procrastinating a bit, but I hurt my shoulder a while ago and it's not so easy to carry heavy boxes around. ~sighs~ Maybe after my chiropractic appointment on Wednesday it'll be easier.

Thanks for the support Liz and Karen. I really do appreciate it. I'm starting to feel a little less mad.

What about doing a google search for donation pick ups in your neighbourhood.. I remember we used to get phone calls about it in Mississauga

Amy ---- RELAX sweetie. And if you need someone to b1tch slap yo-mamma, just call 1-800-LADEEHEATHER and I'll send one of mu gurlsssss.

Hey Liz, that's a really great idea! I didn't ever think about that!

Len-Yeah, I know I need to relax, Andrew keeps telling me that it'll get done in it's own time, no need to worry or stress right now. And as for the b1tch slapping, well he said he'd phone her and tell her who's boss! ~giggles~ I'm actually curious to see if he did or not?! Who knows? It could be interesting!

Some days I hate this place.

Hugs, my sister...I do understand that sentiment. After the events of last week and yesterday in particular, I feel the same way. I wish Joel and I could move home NOW.

Hope tomorrow is better sister.

I was talking about VJ .... but now that you mention it he he he..... applies to the geographical here as well sometimes. I HATE THE HEALTH CARE NON-SYSTEM.
End of rant.

And if anyone, ANYONE, tries to be an azzzz to Laura, they have the wrath of Lady Heather coming to them faster than .....

Why would anyone be a jerk to Laura? She's SO sweet and helpful! You let me at 'em Len! For me, right now that hate is definitely a geographical feeling. I can't wait to leave negativity behind and start fresh!

I am beginning to despise this place too (VJ that is). WTF is wrong with some people. They can't read? Boxes of rocks, I tell ya!

*signing out on day 139*

I go away for one day and look what happens. BTW, I still get a family discount on the b*tch slapping service don't I?

If someone tries to be mean with Laura, 'lil ol' Mumsie might just forget he's a pacifist and remember he's a chainsaw enthusiast.

That's the spirit Amy!!!! Now here take a cookie. I promise by the time you're done eating it, you'll feel right as rain.


You're preaching to the choir. Read first, then ask questions, that way you'll understand the answer and get more out of the discussion.

Was funny, I actually had to leave another canada/usa forum onyahoo!! Nice bunch of people,but a few posted incorrect information about immigration visas,primarily K3 and cr-1,lol Just frustrating to see that, and then have the owner of the board--who made it clear it was HER board, start to moderate my postings!! And when i backed up my postings with proof, she stuil said i was incorrect. Furthermore she did not liek that I posted information about VJ, even though she isn't an immigration site, guess she feels insecure. Oh well, I just feel bad about the incorrect info she and a few others post on there. Not really a vent, just another way to stay away from studying,lol

Ahhhh gotcha Len. Well I feel like that about VJ lately too. I've been watching the thread I think you're referring to. There's so much judgmentalism going on in that thread there's no way to sift out the good info the OP was asking for. I'm wondering if maybe I need another break from VJ, at least til I get the stress I'm under at work sorted out.

I know we all have our moments where things are said...I know I do but geez louise...some of what I've read in there, gawd....

And I do agree with you about the health care system here in the US - and I've dealt with it all my life.

*looks around in confusion*

Love the quote from one of my favourite movies, Mumsie.
And yes, do take a deep breath ATeam; that is mom's job sometimes to infuriate. Bahaha!
They really don't mean any harm. Do try to find out where this is coming from.
What the reasons are for her to not just be simply loving and supportive.
Ask.

As I have been know to say:

there are only two ways to make a decision or two places from where things originate;
it is either
from love or from fear.
Choose from fear and watch the horrid results.
Choose from love and ...mmmm...well, what more needs to be said.

Choose love.


It is the greatest peace-in-the-moment kinda thingie.

Oh Delicia, please visualize resolution.
Visualize the result.
Do create a vision map: in however it works for you.
A box with photos, writings, and cut-outs of things you want to have happen.
Or a piece of large cardboard/bristol-board and glue/paint/write such things to it.
Look at it each day.
It is time to switch the programming.
Time to manifest what you truly want...the only way to accomplish this is by seeing it already happening.
Feeling it happening.
YESSSSSSSSSSS!!

AWW! LEN!!!
lol you are adorable..thanks for being with me sista!!!!




Amy... *Smile*
You are moving so soon!!!!



!!!!
Woah!!!! LOL
This made me laugh out loud Mumsie!!!

I really really REALLY didn't mean to be judgmental, but come on..the wording in the original thread? ACK! Horrible.
If he had posted all the information in the first place, and just worded it completely different...my reaction would have been different, as well as many many others I'm sure.

I'm stressed out lately too Karen....TMI but I'm late for my period (no, I'm not preggers, took 2 tests) I'm just...stressed. About work, about the move, about the visit in 3 days (I keep having dreams I'll get denied at the border) sigh...
Group hug!!!!...

I will NOT, repeat, NOT do the group hug thing (I have a b1tch reputation to protect, yah know????) But I just couldn't see how folks are lecturers and lame ones at that- fkcuers. I'm not staying quiet anymore. So bring it on jerks.
Love you all, including Mumsie (and that's saying A LOT)

Ok, group hug while you stand in the corner looking tough
There is a lot of lectures going on there now, it almost made me feel guilty for having an opinion and voicing it!! WOW!

this is going to bug me until i figure out what thread y'all are talking about!

okies.... http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=116344

Thats why I just stay in here,lol

Flames, I'm with ya...I'm regretting venturing out in the big scary K1 forum...it's so terrifying out there!!! HOLD ME!

Well now there's an offer for you, Flames.

Now that's the spirit soldier!

I figured you'd appreciate the quote. Your advice (as usual) is sound and so may I add is most (if not all) of advice given by the posters in the Canada forum. Love is indeed understanding, so a decision made by understanding the problem will always bear dividends whereas Fear is ignorance and a decision made from that frame of reference will always bear heartache. Visualization is the greatest thing, it really works when you just can't get motivated. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the master of this and look at his accomplishments.

Laura, you should know better, at this time of life, we might break Len's ribs. *suddenly realizes that his Sister is really going to kill him this time*

I am too, don't you just hate it when that happens. The OP was rather inelegant in his use of the English language, I think she done him wrong and he was a bit peeved (just a bit though ). I'd go for the group hug but I'm still sore from all that damn shovelling, I really should eat my food more slowly.

I am in a BAD mood. BAD, BAD, BAD. Why????? Because i am up to my ears in stress, my stupid meds are a joke and I am as anxious and paranoid as I was 4 weeks ago.
The well-intentioned white people in Mercer Island invited us for Easter dinner (not my inlaws, their friends, aka the joint sponsor) and I really DO NOT want to go: for one we don't celebrate Easter, for seconds I just don't want to drag TLM into a fun-fun-fun social event; and for thirds, I like them just fine, but joining them is just not my idea of fun - I'd rather sulk at home.
ANDDDDD, someone is sick in my office, AGAIN. Seems that since I began here, not one effing week has all the staff been here all the time.
I am pizzed people.

I'm not touching this one, not in a million years. Any of you p*ssies out there want to be excoriated by my Sister, step right this way. Any pontificating asswipes need assistance in genuflecting, RSVP. C'mon now, Saint Len is giving a discount on comeuppance.

Len, don't worry about your reputation, you'll always be a b1tch to me. Did I tell you how much I luv you sis...please don't kill me.

Oh Len! I feel for you. I am stressed like crazy too. The anxiety is starting to come back and I'm having to work like crazy to keep it at bay. I love your meez though. It reminds me that I need to relax! Take a deep breath! You can do this! Think of something happy.

You know, I was reading something today that said we have to learn how to say no. We often do things because we feel obligated or we don't want to hurt others feelings. In the end though, it usually isn't in our best interests. I'm learning that I've got to say no the hard way. And to the hardest people! (Read-my mother!)

I betcha venting felt better though didn't it? I'm stuck here at work for a LONG time! I just got here, so 8 more hours to go, and this is the last place I want to be, but I'm going to breathe my way through it! ~giggles~ I suppose I'd better keep breathing or I may just end up six feet under before I even move!

OMG!
I couldn't read the whole thing.
Crazy.



Poor Mumsie.
A chainsaw enthusiast with a sore back from shoveling and a sore tummy from eating too fast.
Whatever shall he do?

So sorry to hear about this but at least you're venting and not letting the negativity fester. Hang in there, we'll do our best to cheer you up. Just remember the hot chocolate incident, that'll bring a smile to your face. We're here for you Sis.