Autumn - ask for a freaking refund. Or something like that ---- these folks have no clue what they're doing. Bren watches "Airline" on A&E and I keep telling him: I would never fly with them. ARGHHHH

Awwww. I Southwest. It's my favourite airline. And I always feel bad for them on that show.... having to deal with all those nasty or drunk people. (Not you, Autumn. That person was clearly in the wrong.)

Man, I am just whiny lately

Today, I asked my office manager how much our insurance will cost once I give birth and add my child to the policy. I carry the insurance for myself and hubby right now. His job makes him wait a year until he can qualify for insurance. I work for a small agency and they can only afford to subsidize 70 % of my coverage, so we pay full price for hubby already (and it is not cheap). Well, adding my child will mean that I have to pay 800 dollars a month for health insurance!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! I am going to search for other, cheaper options, but still am feeling shellshocked a bit.

I am shellshocked as well. Friggin ridiculous!

Mantra: The unusual has become the usual.

Pardon my French but... HOLY FUKCING SH1T!
Autumn, that's insane!!!! DO please shop around for other plans, if you can. Or are you tied to one plan through work?

MAJOR VENT

I HATE FILING US TAXES. I am completely stupid when it comes to reading and trying to understand the IRS forms. I just can't and it upsets me to no end.
I got our Canadian forms almost ready to rumble, since the instructions are Len-friendly. But why on earth would the irs make our lives easier. I am NOT freakin impressed people.
Not cool, not cool, not cool.

To assuage your fears, I think everyone (even accountants and tax lawyers) hate the tax code, so you are not alone. Upsetting you, shame on the IRS, that's what family's for. If you are confused or have a few points you are unsure about, then ask at your local IRS office for some tax assistance (they'll even help you fill out the forms and file, just bring your documentation, slips, whatever). If you get there early enough, then they usually are fairly helpful and it's free. There are some workshops mostly for students (they might let you sit in or something if there aren't too many people). The next one is March 29 at two times, 1:30-2:30P and 3-4P (well, duh, who holds a workshop at 1:30AM? ) in HUB 310. These should get you started.

Sorry brain cramp.

OMFG!!!!! ARGGHHH!!!

Commerce lame ### bank just called me to tell me that my visa expired and I cant open an account...and they need a USA id. I said: "Yes thats my green card" she says: "But your visa expired"

I SAID: THATS WHY I HAVE MY GREEN CARD!!!!!! I APPLIED FOR A SSN YOU IDIOT AND I HAVENT RECEIVED IT YET!!!

Her: But your visa expired.

ME: BECAUSE IT WAS A K1 YOU MORON!!

Her: Well we need some government ID.

ME: THATS MY GREEN CARD!!!!!!

I am so sick of this #### already I have had enough.

Oh the funniest was:

Do you have a US passport or birth certificate??

ME: I SHOULDN'T BECAUSE I AM CANADIAN HENCE THE VISA AND THE GREEN CARD!!!!!

I am going in there today to get my pay cheque back and while there I will give them a piece of my mind.

The problem with azzholes like this one is that they actually believe they can think. I feel your pain.




I thought about going to the public library right across from our place. This sucks. Or maybe I'm just reaching my breaking point of relative sanity.

So I can't have a bank account? Has anyone else had trouble with this??

None whatsoever sweetie. We opened a joint account three days after we got here, with nothing else but my passport with the I-whatever stamp.
Maybe try another bank... if these azzholes don't want your money, someone else will. Screw'em.

p.s. shite, I'm on a ranting roll here.

Thanks a bunch.

That was such a frustrating conversation...she was SO STUPID.

I once opened a Wells Fargo account in Texas (go figure) and then was told 60 days after I was using it that I couldn't open an account since I wasn't an Americano. So I too have been traumatized by the Moron set.

that's just so effing idiotic. I was able to open a Royal Bank account within days of arriving in lovely Saskatchewan (before I could even spell the province's name forpete's sake. why are things so difficult here (and yes, I am just waiting for one of the resident idiots to come in and say something encouraging like: well, if you don't like it, go back home).

I agree there is just SO MUCH bureaucracy!

Its such a pain in the neck...they turn everything into such a process. Its ridiculous.

This is so ridiculous.

In my travels through the U.S. (well mostly on the oceans) I opened two, yes two bank accounts.
One was in Maine at a little credit union and one was in South Carolina at a Bank of America.
This was almost three years ago....way before I ever thought I'd meet someone and actually come and live here.
I still have and use the Bank of America one.
I opened it using my Canadian Social Insurance Number.
Anyone can open a bank account anywhere.

Good luck, I mean it.

FYI:

DO NOT OPEN UP AN ACCOUNT AT COMMERCE BANK.


I just called PNC...they laughed at Commerce and told me to come right in at my convenience.

I can only laugh...

So I called the social security office so I could try to get some information on this SSN thats been giving me so much trouble...

They said I needed my reference number in order for them to give me information.


So I hang up, search high and low for that paper they gave me a month ago.

Finally find it and call back.

"I'm sorry ma'am, our computers are down, and you should give it a month before calling"

Is there a difference between now and 2 days from now?

That totally SUCKS!!!

Because if I had an SSN commerce bank wouldnt be giving me so much trouble...so I try to find out some info...today is not my day.

Its good I can't cash my cheque because I'd probably end up in a pub somewhere crying to the bartender.

Bartenders like that kinda thing.

That sucks, Sprailenes - we had a pretty easy experience when I was added to hubby's checking account at Commerce.

...well, aside from the fact that they lost our form and I had to refill it again, but they were super apologetic about it. I dunno. *sigh*

Len and Bren

The US tax system is totally alien to the Canadian tax system. I found the biggest help for me was to invest in one of those big humungous tax guides that they sell at book stores for around $20. A lot of the information won't be relevant, but for the stuff that is they are a godsend. Look over the different ones that are available and make sure it has a good, clear chapter on resident aliens and taxes. I also had to contact the IRS tax help line for clarification and found them very helpful. Here is the link:
http://www.irs.gov/help/article/0,,id=97185,00.html

US taxes are atrociously convoluted and non-user friendly!

well isw anyone can vent i want to vent abot vsc having approvals so fast glad for the people but so hard for csc filers

I am starting to shop around .... probably I will need to stay on my work plan, especially since I am 7 months preggie, but new baby and maybe hubby can have different insurance. Have not found any great plans online yet, but am still going to look, because 800 dollars is fricking UNREAL!!!! This is what I get for leaving the school system and going to work for a small nonprofit agency.

Ugh! VENT! Seriously, who shows up 20 minutes late for their appointment and expects to still have the appointment? I mean, I had her down as a no show and just as I'm cleaning up my stuff to go home she saunters in. ARGHHHH! It really pisses me off! I don't know why people like that can't call and say that they're at least going to be late. It's irritating as all get out! Plus, I was looking forward to leaving early tonight!

Edited to add: I can't wait to QUIT! ~giggles~

Sister, U still @ the Strathcona Reg? If so, after yuo leave, drop by the 2nd Cup and ask my girls to treat you to a latte. Tell them Queen B1tch sent you.

*******warning******this post will probably offend you*********I warned you********


I am so fukcing p1ssed at all this bullsh1t!!!!! I am starting to think that visajourney only exists to make my suffering worse by having to read about how many fukcing couples get approved ahead of me for no effing reason other than that they are fukcing lucky as sh1t. Oh and also the fun of getting to hear about all the wives who moved to the US and are now bored or homesick or whatever their effing problem is at the moment. . . . if people don't want to move to the US then please stop clogging up the immigration pipeline for the rest of us who want to be there more than anything in the world!!! I've gotten to the point where I can't read have the posts because it's all "I miss my country" or "oh no I got an interview too soon!!!" Like, who the f are you to complain when there are people like me who can't even get out of bed in the morning because I am so homesick for my husband and our home. And it must be wonderful to have the money to just hang around the US for months and months not working like some of you are doing. . . you get to be with your spouse AND you dont have to work? wow, that's really a lot to complain about. . . stop coming on VJ just to post pictures of your cat or tell us what you're having for dinner. . . I come on here because I legitimately want to know as much as I can about this process to try and get it finished as soon as fukcing possible, so I can go home to my husband and never think about it again. This process is literally killing me. . . I've been losing approx 7lbs/week and I can't eat or sleep anymore. . . so I will either get to go home or die in the next few months, and I'm begining to not care which.

Vent ahead sister, that's what this thread is for.
As far from judging what others think.... whatever rocks your boat. I miss my country, and I miss Canada as well. And if that offends you, it is really not my biz. Hang in there toast, you will get your approval soon, you'll see. Sending good vibes your way. I mean that.
peace, l.

Heck no I'm not at the Registry Len! Sometimes I wish I were though. Now I'm working at SpaLady! SO much worse! At least at the Registry I knew when I started and when I was finished and I always knew what my hours would be like. Here, if I have no appointments I go home. Less money!

Oh yeah, and your 2nd cup is closed for renos right now, has been for awhile! Every time I pass it I think "I need to remember to tell Len" and then I forget. It was the one on 104th right?

And Toastburgler- I know how you feel. It's hard to be separated. The end will come though and all the waiting will be over. Feel free to vent away, and I hope that you feel better soon! My thoughts are with you.

BLASPHEMY!!!! It's the one on the Varscona Hotel sister -- where the cool and glamorous hang out The one in 104th went down the tubes because the staff was formed by a bunch of weirdos (Whyte Ave style) with dubious hygiene and really bad, bad service.

Ahhhhh gotcha! I wasn't sure but I didn't think that you worked at that one. I LOVE the one at Varscona Hotel! It's beautiful and really clean for being on Whyte. You know how yucky everything there can get!

I am French not Canadian but i really need to vent.

I am so tired of all this immigration thing. First, it is the American side (it took us over two months to get everything together).
Now, it is the French side. Bah, i thought...Can't be as hard as the American side. Oh boy, was i wrong!
I sent all my paperwork so my hubby can be recognized as my hubby in front of my government to the French Consulate. I sent it priority mail with signature confirmation. Easy as pie, right? Think again!!!
USPS lost my package. The lady in the San Francisco post office tells me "oh, we are sorry. Apparently, the signature confirmation wasn't showing up in our intranet so the carrier didn't ask for it. You can ask for a refund if you'd like". I asked the consulate and they told me i haven't received it.
Woohoo, i am getting a couple of bucks back. Are you freaking kidding me???? You lose a marriage certificate, copies of passport and certified birth certificates and you are offering me a couple of bucks?? Think again!! You better find the darn package.
I keep talking to supervisors after supervisors till i find an helpful lady.
Two weeks later, the package ended up being delivered but the Consulate sent it back to me.
Why, you wonder? Because there is no damn apostille on my marriage certificate! Huh, look again. Turn the page, voila! It is right there.
Freaking Christ, why do government people have to be so lazy!!! So i have to send it again with proof of my US Visa.
Which is another issue, I am F-1 pending AOS. Oh oh, i know the French government won't like that. Why?
Because it is a limbo status and they want a visa status valid for at least six months.

I am sick and tired of spending my lunches at work calling people. I want a life, a real one!

This is just not fair, i am doing this the legal way and i feel more penalized than an illegal person.

I just want my husband to be recognized as my husband. I am not asking for a visa or a citizenship. I am French dealing with my government, why does it have to be so hard? After that i want to get registered with my consulate, oh boy this is gonna be fun too.

Here i am crying. This is truly pathetic.

Have i mention me and my parents haven't been talking for half a year? They don't even know i am married.
They started accusing me of mean things and when i tried to reason them, they ignored my e-mails. I was so hurt that i had to just live my life. I have been trying to get in touch with them but they are ignoring me.
It all started when i said "enough is enough, i don't want to be your show puppet anymore, i just want to be me".
The words i used were better and i made sure to let them know that i wasn't disapproving anything but they had to stop making me feel bad when i made a decision or had a different opinion than theirs.
Didn't go over so well. I was accused of being a drug addict and a zombie. Me, who never touched drugs in my entire life. I told them that i was willing to do an hair drug test. They ignored it and started to say mean things.
The zombie comes from the fact that i am very pale. I was born like that, they should know that. They raised me!!!
I ended up feeling so bad about my skin that i went to the tanning salon and gave myself a nice skin cancer scare.
I couldn't spend my life pleasing them. I was miserable. I tried explaining them. It didn't work.

So here i am.

Cliff notes:
My parents do not know that i am married. The French Consulate is giving me a hard time.
My soul mate is in California visiting family.
Have i mentioned i haven't had a day off in almost a year? And that my week-ends are filled with getting paperworks and running from places to places.

Lili, I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.

I feel similar - I just want a real life.

Spill it out "EmilyandJason". It feels so much better afterwards.

*hugs to you*

I considered it but then realized the topic was "The Vent" not "The Rant" .. lol so I'll try and behave

I'm having one of those dark days where I am so frustrated I just want to scream. Some days are fine .. and some are ... not.

The problem is mainly that we researched the options after we were engaged in June and in the end we decided the CR-1 was really the best option for us. Jason is just starting up his career and we couldn't afford to have me unemployed while waiting for AOS. At the time we were told that the CR-1 would take about 9-10 months to complete. Obviously we were misinformed. It is hard to swallow that the K1 really would have been SO much faster. It is also hard to see so many approvals for people who filed after us. Not that I am not happy for them, but it has me concerned that maybe our I-130 is sitting on someone's desk who has gone on holidays or something. We've also had so many touches in the past few weeks I'm worried that maybe they've found something wrong. I don't know what it could be .. but you never know.

I feel like my entire life is on hold while this process is going on. I barely have time to do anything other than obsess about this because I'm traveling every weekend to see Jason. During the week I'm busy working overtime hours to make up the time I leave early on Fridays.

I also feel like nobody really understands how I feel, even Jason. My sister actually was insenstive enough to ask me how married life was. Unfortunately for her, she asked me on a "dark day". Jason, of course wants to be with me more than anything. I feel he isn't affected the same way as I am because he is both starting a new career and living with his parents to save money. I'm doing something I've been doing for years so don't have the same distractions ... and I live alone.

We really want to just start our lives together .... we want a family! I know pretty much everyone here has felt this way and gone through this purgatory of seemingly endless waits.

I know I just need to hang in there and when it is over, this truly will feel like a bad dream.

Emily,

From an outsider point of view, you made the right choice visa-wise.
You said it yourself, you can afford to be unemployed. IF you would have chosen a K-1 or K-3, you would have to wait for the EAD approval. It is supposed to be approved within 3 months but when it comes to immigration, nothing is certain.
Making a living on a single income for three months is tough, very tough.
Once the wait it is over, it is OVER. You take a backpack and cross the border. You get your green card and you can S-T-A-R-T your life with Jason.
If i were in your shoes, i would have made the exact same decision. If i were to wait an indeterminate amount of time, might as well make it worthwhile.

Touches are good, not bad. Someone is actually looking at your paperwork. If there was anything wrong, they would have sent an RFE. Trust me on that one. They do not hesitate a single second on sending those dreaded RFE's.
Would it be possible that your husband makes an Infopass appointment and moves things a bit faster. It seems Infopass do wonders! It does a body (and mental health) good!

You are definitely working too much. I understand the financial need but there is a point where everybody needs to recharge their batteries. Can Jason come over and you guys could go to a nice bed and breakfast? It doesn't have to be fancy or abroad. Just a change of pace and time to seat back and enjoy each other.
My hubby was working too much, so a swift kick in the butt into the plane to California to see his family for a week. He seems to be way more relaxed.

What about Jason doing the trip to visit you one of those week-ends? I am sure it will be nice not to drive for once.

I wish i could make it all better. I will think about you and wish for you you to get approved very soon.

Ps: I hope my comments haven't offended you. I just thought i could bring you a different perspective.

((((((((((((((((((((Lili))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((EmilyandJason)))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you are having such difficult times. Immigration is never fun at the best of times but when you also have to deal with all of the hassles of misplaced files and careless workers and misinformation - well, it really does seem intolerable at times. Just tie a knot in the end of your ropes and hang on. You will be together with you loved ones soon and trust me, the time apart will just become like a bad dream. I hope you all get your visas approved very very soon and can get on with your lives.

Lili - it is a hard choice but you are the best person who knows how to live your life. You have to be honest to who you are - congratulations ,even though it is hard and those you love may not always understand.

It sounds like you are having a REALLY rough time. Yes, you warned me, and yes I am offended. Aside from that, I'm glad you posted that clause at the beginning of your post! I don't know if you feel better having posted that, but if you did...all the power to you.

Now I'm going to say something else...and be fair warned...YOU might be offended! We all have bad days, but if you're not exaggerating, and it's true what you really feel, and how this has impacted on your body, and mind....then you need to see a professional. We all have experienced mild depression, anger, and have had this physically impact on us, but personally, I've not seen such a case as yours on here. I think you need to see a psychologist, or a social worker, or some type of counsellor. You're losing 7 lbs a week, not eating, not sleeping...you're going to crash, and crash BAD. So please...do two things if not for yourself, then your husband and your life together someday. Stay OUT of threads where it says on the topic that it's about food, or getting an interview. Go to your family doctor IMMEDIATELY, and tell him/her what you've told us here in your post, and ask for HELP. You may require some interim medication and definitely some counselling. If you're working, maybe you can access your employee assistance program, which is anonymous. Please let us know how you're doing.

We DO care!

Hugs,
Carla

Carla,

You have to be one of the most caring and loving women I have ever met. Bow to you, sister and may the gods always keep you safe.

Len.

Now That is some serious good old fashioned Canadian Rage coming out.

Carla, yet again you expressed exactly what I couldn't find the words to say.

TB....Get better soon

Ditto to that. Beautifully written Carla.

You'll miss your country too once you move down here!!!

Doesn't mean we don't love our husbands less, doesn't mean we don't deserve to be here.

Believe me, I thought everything was going to be perfect once I moved away, I didn't think about missing home because I missed my husband so much. I thought no feeling could overpower the love that I have for him. I am human and so are you. I am not offended by what you said, I just think you won't truly understand until you move down here too. Its only natural to miss the ones we love and our homes.

Hope things look up for you soon.

And remember we've all been where you are now, thats why this community is so great.

I second the remarks on Carla.
And I totally agree with what she wrote.
It is not "normal" to lose so much weight and try to get through this alone.
This is so very sad and heart-wrenching.
Do seek help even if it is from friends and/or family.
A professional is a good idea if you do not have good peops that have the energy, time and skills to help you pull through.

It is extremely challenging to see others move forward with their timelines and not our own (as fast as we'd like and can see is possible).

Perhaps you are at a point where a doctor can write a letter for you to send to USCIS or the consulate to help expedite your application.
It is obvious you are suffering at a high level.
I don't know what can be done in such a case.
After all I am no expert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(a personal note):
Many people who know me do not know how I choose to hermit myself in times of great stress and anxiety.
It's like this: I don't want to expose them to the demons that are surfacing in me in those times.
After all, people think I am the most energetic and joyful person they have ever met...which is always good for a giggle from me and friends who know me very well.
So the last time I "hermitted" was a lot of 2007 through this mess of the non-immigration.
I hated every single aspect of it.
Everything.
After seeing what it entailed, I did not want to do it.
Really.
I was sick to my stomach about it. (I wrote a whole bunch of my story way back when I first signed on here in VJ. Good therapy.)

I went as far as freaking right out and wanting to end it with my sweetie.
I told him I was experienced enough in life to know that broken hearts mend and it was time to cut this chord.
After-all, being alone and with no romantic problems sounded like a better option; a peaceful and harmonious time with no more conflicts.
Yes, I was ready to give it all up.
Move on.

He is the one that kept herding me (like a lost stray kitten, meaow) back on track each time I left the path to wander away.

So there it is.
His belief in what could be.

And now?
Time will tell.
I am not one to believe in fairy tales and happy endings.
I am one to give it my all.

Full on
and
full steam ahead.

If one day this relationship dissolves, it will not be because I (we) did not give it more than our 100% in each and every minute.
I never accept the status quo and I like to keep things fresh.
Reinvent what a relationship can be; live in the world of possibilities.

Like my favourite (self) expression:

Never let sleeping dogs lie.

Hahaha!



(I hope I have expressed myself in a way that relates to you/others that life serves you things that you believe you cannot handle. And then you do and you grow.)

I don't know what to reply to that, other than I second others saying that you need to seek the help of a doctor.

You are not the only one suffering from separation, being depressed, not wanting to eat...I think we can all relate, but if you are losing weight so much and cannot sleep, it is a life threatening issue. Please get some help


Besides, you might read or not read this, but I have only one thing to say. Once you move here you will better understand. Being alone at home when your husband is at work, with no friends, nothing to do , not much money because you don't work ( yeah not everyone has a load of $), it gets to you after a couple months. Seeing my husband after each was good but it's still really hard to adjust to the living here. And most of us don't stay at home by choice, but by obligation, thanks to USCIS. I thought I would enjoy the vacation but it almost drove me nuts.


And besides, VJ are my main friends, no I don't have much friends here just because the situation doesn't really fit for that at the moment. So if we post pictures of cats or if we talk about missing Canada's food and such, it's not to piss off people like you, it's only to get support from other people in the same situation..AKA re-adjusting to a new country. Having you husband by your side might be 90% of it, but there is still a 10% that will get to you and make you miss the rest. Can't help it.

My advice.

Find something to occupy your mind. If you can't, work 2+ jobs. Get yourself away from the process. The only way to solve things when the pressure gets in is to get away from it. It may sound contradictory, but, it's true. You don't find a solution to a problem when you're stressed. You find a solution while you're on a vacation.