Hi all. I am just on here to say thanks for your comments and concerns and things. My fiance, if you want to call him that, and I have split because of his dishonesty and suspicion. He said that he received the medical results on Monday and that he failed. He wouldn't tell me what he failed. He kept acting stuck on stupid. He said that's why he didn't go to the interview. He could have went and probably got a blue slip or something to return and have another medical done and gotten a visa. THE IDIOT! No communication, no working it out. He had me in suspense all day long Tuesday. I even took the day off work to hear from him. Here I was thinking that he was at the interview, when all along he didn't go. He didn't call me or text me or email me, NOTHING. He didn't have the guts to call me when he received the medical results ON MONDAY! We could have called the embassy to reschedule or something.

He took my money which was originally meant for the embassy fee and spent it on things while he was in Lagos. He told me he spent it. Ugh! I tried calling him all day long Tuesday and Wednesday only to have the phone ring and ring. I knew he was nearby because one time I called he turned his phone off in the middle of the ringing. I was in a total state of oblivian all day long!! I didn't know what was going on. Was it something I'd done? Surely, not. All I had given him was my understanding, patience, love, and time...and I've sacrificed a lot for him too. He still wouldn't have told me anything if I hadn't perservered on the situation and almost literally had to beg him to tell me what happened.

Finally, I got a hold of him on Wednesday and he was already back in Port Harcourt! He went through all this almost without telling me about anything?! The JERK! (Excuse my language.) I know that he probably felt intimidated to tell me the whole story about his medicals, but to leave Lagos and go back to Port Harcourt without calling me and letting me know anything was toooootally strange. I am glad that I prepared myself with God's covering throughout this process. If it wasn't for God's saving grace in my life, I probably would have flew me and my mob down to Nigeria to beat him in the head. Three whole years have we known each other and it has come down to this. I can't believe how much he's changed since three years?!...and yes there is more than meets the eye between him and I as well that we went through during this journey. The pretences, the lies, the childishness. I will not go into modified detail here though.

What a fool I was. I just kept calling myself that. God loves this fool, God's grace is sufficient and his mercies are new. I guess you live and you learn. NEVER AGAIN, NEVERRRRRR AGAIN!!!! I am glad also that I didn't find this out during married life! WHEW! Thank you JESUS! You've done it again! God has someone better in store for me. I know that all African men are not like this one, but just be careful out there and pray for discernment and perserverance. Have all your ducks in a row. God never fails. Thank you all for everything.

I just want to say that.....I admire your strength, you deserve to be happy and to have the best in life!!!!! You seem like such a sweet, loving person...and I am sure that one day...you will find your true love...take care and God Bless You.

I'm very sorry.

So sorry to hear about this. But you are right....God looks out for His own. Better for you to find out now than during marriage.

There is someone out there who is worthy of your love, loyalty and devotion.

God bless

Sorry that you went through 3 years--but be so glad that you found out before he came.

I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through right now. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. GOD is with you and HE gives you what is best for you, even when it isn't what you think you want.

im so sorry...God knows best

Discerned1,

I am very sorry that your 3 year visa journey ended like this but God knows best and makes things happen for a reason....This man is not meant for you because you deserve someone who will cherish you and treat you with honesty, respect and love. May your heart heal fast and may God unite you with the the one you were meant to spent you life with very soon!!!!

It's always sad to break up but it is good you found out now rather then later. Good luck to you

May God give you the desires of your heart.

Oh God! First of all i am very to hear that your 3yrs VJ ended like this; this kind of men are given us the good ones bad names.... He said he failed the medicals what part did he fail was it the physical or the lab test. To my knowledge the only thing that will make him fail the medicals or not going to the interview is only if he tested HIV positive and he's not man enough to tell you that; because all other tests that were taken at the medicals are treatable like if he was tested positive for STD's, X-ray all of these diseases are treatable.

Believe me God has a reason for doing this, maybe he doesn't deserve you or he's not the right man for you plus i know that God has a special package for somewhere; i truly admire your courage after spending lots of $$$, time and many more still you handled the whole issue with maturity and confidence....Please take heart, have patient God will surprise you soon.


Take care and God bless.

Jamil

Girl you are a good one!!! Sorry to hear of your bad fortune but in a way it is a blessing depending on how u look at it. Thank God for grace bcoz if it were me I would have been on the 1st plane to choke him!!!! Hang in there!

discerned,
I am so sorry to hear about your situation.......YOu need time to let your heart heal. You have been nothing but positive to me and others I want to thank you for that......Also to thank you for posting your story, We all like to hear the good stories and belive in happy endings. You had the strength and courge to write and tell others about your experience.......That will help all of us keep in the back of our minds what possiblites could lay ahead for all of us going through this Journey......To fall in love with anybody is a risk weather they are here in the US or in another country........to open your heart and give it away is one of the greatest gifts you can give.....One day your heart will heal and this will soon be but a memory.....That one you long for will come along when you lest expect it and help mend your broken heart.......Will have you in my thoughts and please take care.......

I am so sorry for your hurt. In addition I admire your courage. Continue to move forward, and please do not give up on l-o-v-e.

By the way, I recently sent you a PM, please check it out when you get a moment.

Boaz

Discerned

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. You have been a positive force during the entire time I have been on this forum. I agree with the others that it is SO much better you found this out now rather than later. Please mourn now, but do not give up on love. God does have someone waiting for you.

Sorry to hear this. Lord Knows what is good for his children. Surely he will see's you thru with more blessing.
May he keep and guide you.

I know that you are upset and he is probably also suffering. I hope you are not making a rash decision. Please take some time and pray on this.

I wish you all the best. :Hugs:

You are in my prayers

I am very sorry to hear this, may GOD be with you.

Take care

Oh gosh that means he must have opened the results he received from the medicals which are suppose to be sealed until the interview. I am so sorry to hear that your journey has ended on this note, you have great courage and strength and time will heal the wounded heart. Stay encouraged and open and you will find LOVE again!!!!!! I have to agree that you have been nothing but encouraging and positive thru out your time here on visa journey.... I wish you nothing but success in the future.

Robin

Actually they give you your results verbally as well as sealing them in the envelope.



Discerned1,

I am soo sorry for this thing you are traveling through. I know God has you in has plans sweetie. Everyone comes into our lives for a purpose.. this is all in preparation.

I'm so very sorry to hear this, after all you've been through. I pray that God will heal your heart and uplift your spirits. He always provides! Keep the faith! Take care and God bless!


Shanon

discerned: I am VERY sorry to hear about everything. I am praying for your strength during this time. {{{hugs}}}

Hello discerned1,

I have to say to you that I am very deeply sorry that you have to go through this. I am an old head on this site, and I don't come around much but every now and then will post a message of encouragement. I feel this is one of those times. You are my hero. You were so much stronger than I was when the truth was staring me in the face. Because I was afraid to take a stand and end my fiasco in the early stages, as of yesterday I am a newly divorced woman. Happily divorced, but the journey to get there was pure HELL! I want to encourage you that all though you have questions that you want answered that may never be, and there is unbearable pain and embarassment, my sister, one day at a time, God will heal your heart. I have learned so much about myself, about people, love and relationships. I take away from my experience that it was intended to prepare me for the man that God intended for me. I am living proof of what happens when you don't wait on God. I am also writing a book about my situation, and I pray that it will protect men and women against the GREEN CARD PREDATORS that prey on lonely vulnerable people. Believe me, this is not a slam at all against any African people. My lineage came through you, so to bash you is to bash myself. But there are a great deal of them who have allowed desparation to corrupt them and cause them to sell their souls to the devil for the all mighty green card. As a matter of fact I have a HUGE crush on a gorgeous man from Ghana, and would get with him in a minute if the situation were condusive to such. So I am not against a relationship with an African man. That's whole other story. Anyway, hold your head up, and do not say you were a fool. True love is never a bad blimish. It's stained when the receiver makes a mockery of the gift you have given them. Now take heart, my dear, because when God brings him, you need to be ready to receive him, because when God gives gifts, He DON'T shop at WAL MART!!!!!!! P.S. Because of your strength, I have to send you a finished autograph copy of my book. I'm sure it will put a smile on your face. Take care. Sonya

discerned1 - I'm sorry this has happened to you. I hope you take time to heal and know that God has someone very special in store for you.

Besangin - I just had to laugh at your comment: "As a matter of fact I have a HUGE crush on a gorgeous man from Ghana, and would get with him in a minute if the situation were condusive to such. So I am not against a relationship with an African man" Teehee! Anyway, I'm glad things are finally settled for you and all the mess that you were faced with.

Yes Kanyiri,

All is well now, EXCEPT, a sister is ready to date!!!!!!!!! So if you want to help that progress, how about asking your hubby to teach me how to tell this man in the Ghana native language, that I think he is hotter than ten active volcanoes, the burning bush, and a bushel of serrano peppers, AND I want to take him out, get him drunk, and have my way with him!!! Just kidding, but I do want to have my way with him!!!! In an innocent sort of way..... MAYBE............ LOL!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your son. Such a blessing.

Besangin,

You are too funny, not the burning bush. Are you in the States or in Ghana? You are a breath of fresh air. Keep up the good work, you really made me smile today. Your gift from God can not be taken and from a far I can see it. I would love to purchase your book when it is completed. Let me know.

Constance

Besangin, glad to read that things are going well for you..yeah I do so love all things Ghanaian....=) Hope all goes with this the Ghanaian man you are eyeing!!!

HAHAHA!! I'll do my best to get the translation, though I'm thinking if you just tell him exactly what you already said, you'll be well on your way to where you want to go. On the other hand, you could just go buy some tight jeans and make up excuses to say hello and then walk very slowly away. Then he'll do all the talking for you.

Thank you for the congratulations on our son! I am head over heals in love with him, which sometimes makes my husband a little jealous. Oops. He looks just like my husband, but at least he has my ears!

Girl, forget the tight jeans. This man is so fine and hot that I am ready to get right to the pole!!!! I'll swing my big butt on it like a gymnist. He got me thinking why didn't I go Ghana Airlines in the first place! WOOOOOOOOOOO, is it me or is it getting hot in here? I need to go take a break in Iceland to cool off! Oh, and do be watching for my book. That sucker is going to be OFF the chain!!!!!! I gave my coworkers a snippet, and those busters bug me everyday for more. I just say five dolla!!!! Later Gators

Sorry to hear about your situation. Please remember that time heals all wounds and something better always comes along!
I will keep you in my prayers