Hi all ... just needed to come into the Canadian forum and vent for a bit and hopefully my story will help others here on their journeys.

I came across on my K1 with my son K2 on July 26th, got married on July 27th and filed for AOS, and AP for myself and my son and filed EAD for me. For those who were around you'll remember that I had waited from Tuesday to Thursday with a loaded truck at an empty apartment for our visas that Montreal had assured would be send out on the previous Friday (which they didn't actually send them out until Tuesday of the following week).

Everything was rush rush and we made it here to Cleveland, got married the next day, and filed to beat the fee increase on the 28th of July.

After being in the US I applied for my SSN card no problems, I had applied in my maiden name as per their instructions (they told me that it would take longer to process in my married name) and that once I received the card to come back in and have my name changed. The first card took an extra 1 1/2 weeks because someone in their office goofed something up. Have had my name changed no problems.

USCIS received our paperwork for AOS, AP and EAD on August 1st and because my cheques were never cashed I made an infopass appointment on 09/20/07 ... they got back to me on 10/01/07 telling me that they located my package and were processing mine but not my sons due to lack of signature ... I had not signed for him where it says Applicants Certification ... I signed Part 5 "Signature of person preparing form, if other than above." grrrrrrrrrrr

On October 4th they cashed all of our cheques .. for my applications and for my sons ... does this mean that they are now going to accept it?????????

Then today I looked at my EAD application and I put code (a)(6) instead of ©(9) which means that I have applied and paid for an EAD that will expire when my I94 expires (90 days from POE which will be October 24th) ... I don't know if I can make an infopass to get this changed.

I've posted in the Adjustment of Status forums and in the Working and Travelling Forums and it just doesn't seem that there is as much support in the other forums as when I was posting here ...

Not to mention that today was Canadian Thanksgiving ... my husband and I prepared an amazing dinner yesterday in celebration of Canadian Thanksgiving and invited some of his family. They came, they ate, and they left .... my family dinners lasted for hours. I'm bored because I can't work until I get my EAD which now may not happen until God only knows when ... and I'm upset because I want to visit my family and friends not to mention that Christmas is coming and my AP is up in the air. I've had two people visit me since I moved. My best friend came down for the day of my wedding .. and I had another friend come with her husband for a weekend three weeks after I got here. I had sent beautiful announcements of the wedding out to my entire family with wedding pictures included and not one of my family members sent me even a congratulations card. I had to call a couple of them to make sure they got it ... including my own mother . I have yet to call my father . The funniest part is the only family member that sent me a card and a gift (which of course was not necessary but very much appreciated) is my ex-mother-in-law.

I love being married to my husband and I love our new home and the family that we've created .. but I have to say that I am feeling a loss to my old life.

aww hun...
first off, I hope the paperwork sorts itself out for your sanity..

as for the family and friends, ppl just get very busy sometimes and when you're not around kinda tend to "forget".. (out of sight, out of mind)

I hope that you develop new friendships in the area that will help with the loneliness and frustration

*hugs*

I certainly do feel for you

Well I'm sorry I know next to nothing about AOS but I do commiserate with you about your after dinner chit chat and games that weren't! I guess every family is different and his are of the eat and leave group, which is not conducive to fun.

I think it's really thoughtful that you sent out announcements and pictures to everyone, at least you know you made them smile when they received them

Anyway, I am sure you will start to make some friends soon, especially after you start working, so hang in there

Did you talk to the hubby about his parents' eat & run?

Yes .. he was disappointed as well but knows better for next time . We made an amazing meal .. honey baked ham, roast beef simmered in a crockpot for hours with gravy, mashed turnip and carrots, cheesy broccoli casserole, candied yams, corn cut off of the cobs, homemade bread and pumpkin roll made from real pumpkin (not from the can) ... we spent hours preparing the night before. He wanted to start pulling his family together again after they've kinda fallen apart since his mother passed away about 9 years ago .. she made amazing food and his house was always full of family during holidays which hasn't happened in quite some time. I was stunned as some were taking desert "to go".

and as for making friends ... I've met some people ... but the older you get new friendships are more of the stand-off-ish variety.

Sounds like since his mom's been gone, the family doesn't really eat together anymore.. it'll probably be a lot of work to get that back but I'm sure with some time, you two might be able to..

Dinner sounds amazing.. btw

Your dinner sounds delicious!! We would have stayed for dessert and coffee. You don't live in Nebraska by any chance?

I ate a frozen dinner for Thanksgiving..

take refuge in your food =)

My family dinners were always 30 plus people , cousins, aunts, uncles and everyones children. Everyone brought a dish (which was generally organized with who brings what). It's amazing that I speak in past tense considering that this is the first one that I've missed. I'm really trying hard not to feel "snubbed" by my family as up until just recently I was feeling frantic that I would not be able to make it back for Christmas.

OMG Liz ... I have a ton of leftovers in the fridge ... too bad you aren't in the Cleveland area

Any possibility they feel abandoned? Sounds like you all are pretty close.

It's cool =) but thanks for the offer..

My parents had gone to a friend's house for dinner that day... hence mom didn't make anything at home..
And since I was working a 9 hr shift, I came home, starving, and ate what I could

It was a president's choice one though which was surprisingly good for frozen food.. oh well..

I get Polish US thanksgiving dinner soon =)

Sorry to hear things are a bit frustrating.

As for your EAD, did you get your NOA1 yet? You can make an infopass and try to get them to change it when you get the receipt number. Not sure if they'll be able to do anything without a receipt number. Anyway, making an infopass appointment to change the EAD code has worked for some people and not for others but worth a shot if the local office isn't that far.

Hang in there!

My family is or was pretty close and yes they were all thinking that I had lost my mind when I told them that I was going to move to Cleveland (which was only 4 1/2 hours away) with my son. I kept them informed every step of the way and knew that there was an underlying lack of enthusiasm on their parts .. we had a very small intimate wedding in order to avoid being disappointed by inviting people and having them decline. But the thing is .. they can't get their selfish little heads out of their a$$e$ to see that they have "lost" nothing and that I made a life decision to try to achieve life long happiness. Disfunctional families .... aren't they a joy?

Thanks Misa ... they just cashed the cheques on 10/04/07 and I have the MSC #'s on the back of the cheques ... the local office is only a 2 minute drive from my house .. I think that I'll make an appointment right now

yay!

The Cleveland office never seems to be too busy ... I just made an appointment for tomorrow at 10:45 am.

double yay!!

Oh, one thing... oftentimes the number on the back of the cheque isn't actually going to be your receipt number. Why? I have no idea... but that was the case with my EAD and AOS and many others as well. But since the local office is close and you have time, hey, why not make that infopass?

Mmmmm ... Polish thanksgiving ... my Mom and Dad divorced when I was three and before my Mom moved away to New Brunswick a few years back every special occasion we first would go to my Moms for "lunch" and then for dinner with my fathers family. My mom is Polish and we would have homemade cabbage rolls, homemade perogie, excellent baked keilbasa (beach road or similar which I have not been able to find even moderately good keilbasa here), blood sausage (which I could never even bring myself to try), poor mans chicken (which is pork and beef tenderloin cubed and skewered, breaded and then fried and then put in the oven to bake in a layer of chicken stock) and the cottage cheese that you buy in a brick and add sour cream to and green onions and some type of amazing bread from a bakery ... good good food that I dearly miss.

and I'm sure that officer Henderson already knows who I am and may be willing to help me out ... I've spoken with her a few times already ... although it may backfire on me and she won't help because I'm annoying

Awww I wish I could give you a big *hug* right now.

I can empathize with you completely.

I know what you mean about friendships. I had a very small group of girlfriends in Canada that I was VERY close to. We were all like sisters, and we shared EVERYTHING. I miss that so much.

I've met many people here, "acquaintenances" you could say. I haven't met anyone though that sends off that "spark" of being a "sister".

My heart grieves for that connection. I'm hoping I can find some of that soon.

Carla

You poor kid. I was just thinking about you and how it seems that you've had zero luck in the AOS process so far. But you're in the system now, which officially means that Your Problem is now Their Problem.

If your MSC# is like ours was, the one on the back of the check doesn't match the numbers for any of the applications. E.g., our check number was (say) 11234, but the AOS package was 11235, EAD 11236, and AP 11238. Basically close to the number on the check but not identical with any of it, which I guess makes sense for a package that consists of three distinct applications.

I think the Infopass appointment is probably your best bet for the code on the EAD thing. Maybe they can give you the case numbers and you can get it corrected.

Hope things look up for you soon.

I know how you feel about your family. I'm sorry that people can be so ridiculous! I haven't even moved yet, heck, I've just started this process and already they're beginning. My mom keeps asking me if everything's alright between my fiance and I, like it'll all crumble and she won't have to worry about me moving. It's so strange. Of course she's already said they probably won't come to the wedding which is just fine with me. She's being selfish about this whole thing, including not even being happy when I phoned to say we were engaged, just because she didn't actually get to see the proposal!

Sorry Lynamon. I didn't mean to hijack the thread. I just wanted to tell you that I sympathize and that in the end, things will work out just like they're supposed to! Chin up! You can do this!

I totally understand where you're coming from. Most of my friends from Canada didn't even come to my wedding, although they were invited. They couldn't handle the 3 hour drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only a couple of my friends have even come to visit me since I left back in 2004.

I have made only very casual friendships since I arrived here, and miss my friendships back in Canada very much. I work with 2 very nice women, but I only work 2 days a week, and we don't socialize outside of work.

I miss my 2 adult sons in Canada, and my daughter that lives with us is very busy with full-time college and a part-time job. My husband's adult daughter here in the U.S. has a very busy life, and we don't see her very often either.

I really wish we could live in Canada!!!!!

So I went to the infopass appointment and I must say that they are very friendly there.

They looked up my file using my MSC #'s and they told me that mine was fine but that my sons was not in the system ... until the officer decided to do a little more digging on his computer. He found my son and wrote out all of the correct MSC #'s attachd to all of our applications for me which I thought was very nice. He was baffled that they put my sons through and the officer that had told me that they were going to send my sons back said "they lied to you" (exact words).

As for the wrong code on my EAD application ... they told me that I would have to wait to see what they are going to say about that ?? that they couldn't forward any corrections to the application.

I asked about emergency advance parole for my son as his grandfather is very ill with cancer and will be undergoing radical chemo and then a donor white blood cell infusion shortly after and the officer couldn't give me a definitive answer even if I had proper documentation from my sons grandfathers physician.

The officers seem to be just as confused about how USCIS processes things and seem to have their hands tied about alot of issues. That just seems to be the impression that I got.

Sorry you are missing home and your friends.

I have not celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving since I moved here in May 2005.

I have made some new friends at my job, but only two that I talk to outside of work. I really like going to work so that I have people besides my husbands family to talk too....lol. They just are different here in the South.

My best friend from high school came for a visit on Sept 14 and stayed 11 days. We took her/boyfriend to Panama City Beach for the week. That was nice, but now I wish she was back here with me. I really do miss her. She is the only person from home that I have seen in 2.5 years........

I miss my oldest son. He was 23 on Sept 28th. My youngest son who is almost 19 is here with me. Oh how I wish I could see my son Matthew.

raymaga, Peggy, lynnamon and me....gosh we're probably all bawling after reading and writing on this thread...

Lynette, glad you heard something from someone about the applications. Still sounds confusing, but it sure makes a whole world of difference when you talk to someone who is polite, courteous and seems to appreciate your concern. Hope everything is speeded up and works out for you.

Carla

*sigh.. been reading this thread thinking so much of what is being shared is my experience too..

The "out of sight out of mind" thing really hits me hard. I call ALL my friends and family back home. For some people they don't have a long distance plan which I understand, but for others.. it's just i'm not around any more.. Our home phone never rings and that is very depressing for me. I'm used to getting calls all the time on my cell phone etc. and I have only heard it ring about 4-5 times since I"ve been here.

Add to it a small measure of guilt.. as my husband is AMAZING and the best friend I could ever ask for.. but still having girlfriends to shop with, just to hang out with is not a luxury I have anymore. I have met aquaintences as others mentioned but no one that things click with..

*sigh... you have my ear gal!

I hope things get easier.. glad you had some success and a listening ear at infopass today!

I just spoke with the National Customer Service Center and they have sent a request for the EAD code (a)(6) to be changed to ©(9) ... she told me that the local office would not have been able to do that and that the request has now been forwarded to the correct service center. If I have not received an update with 45 days she told me to call back. (she also changed my first name to the correct spelling) ... here's crossing my fingers!!!!


A number of us seem to be in the same boat as far as grieving our old lives and friendships ... looks like I've hit on a tender heart string. I'm very lucky though to have a husband though who is working very hard at trying to fill in the gaps.

good luck!