Over on this thread, 1HappyGuy had some great suggestions on how to prepare for the fiance's arrival. Picking up a hair blower and other "lady" stuff probably wouldn't have occurred to me.

Anyone else have suggestions on how they setup their household to get ready for her arrival? Any special "Russification" things I can do to make her feel more at home? I live in Monterey, CA, and unfortunately the closest Russian food store is (I think) in Santa Cruz, about 45 minutes away. But we do have a great farmer's market that she'll probably love. When we went to the market together in her home town she made me put back an apple I picked up because it was too big. "I think is too big because of chemicals" she said. Don't think she's gonna be too impressed with the produce section at Safeway.

My opinion is that you can do the basics but it won't matter because no matter what you do won't be satisfactory and she will redo it HER way....

I can suggest you clean things you would never have thought of cleaning ... window treatments, screens, behind the refrigerator, under it too ... but the previous poster is right ... no matter what you do, it won't be good enough and she'll re-do it anyway - LOL ....

The customs people MAY confiscate her makeup ... so prepare for that just in case, get a hair dryer, a teapot, tea (black), iron, ironing board (prepare to have your underwear ironed if you're not used to that kind of thing) ... most importantly ... Do your share and more of the household tasks ... always. Keeping in mind of course to let her instruct you on how she wants it done. Once she is here, she is the boss of the house, and that's just how it will be. Oh and get her a phone card so she can call home ... PM me for a very inexpensiv method of calling (saves tons of money).

Good luck!!!!

Dwayne

Only a 45 minute drive to a Russian store, how great is that. I have 1 1/2 hour drive but we do it every couple of months to Sacramento. There is a large Russian/Ukrainian community in Sacramento of about 120,000. Cleaning is a great start because us guys usually live like pigs. That's why I painted much of the house. However, I left some rooms with old paint so that she could decide what color she would like. I wanted to have her feel the house was hers also. This past year we put in new carpeting (it was 9 year old carpet) and she picked out the colors. I know she's anxious to do more, but I'm trying to slow her down to budget the money.

The farmers market is a great place. You might look for bakeries that provide breads more in the European style too.

Probably one of the best things will be to find other "happily married" couples (Russian speaking & American) that you can become friends with. She will greatly miss speaking Russian so this can be a great assistance to relaxing her and enjoying her new life.

Get use to finding natural products without preservatives or chemicals. My wife insists on getting juice that is all natural, not from concentrate. Of course, that's more expensive. Just one of those things we pay a little more for in this country.

Start saving as much money as possible. NOW!

Also, find something in the area for her to do outside of the home. She's going to have at least a few months where she can't work, so find her something interesting to do.

ESL Classes
Volunteer Work (Schools, Libraries, Pet Shelters, etc.)
Church/Civic Group Activities
Dance/Arts/Cooking/etc. Classes
Etc.

As previously mentined in the above posts, no matter what you do, she's going to set it up how she likes it and she's going to have to buy a whole bunch of "girly" stuff that you've probaby never even heard of. Shimmer-enhancing cold cream, anyone?

But, it's all in good fun, and it's almost like a big scavenger hunt!

Clean, clean, clean and clean again, although she'll still likely come up with the equivalent of "you missed a spot" numerous times after she arrives and is settling in

You should also go through all your desk drawers, closets, etc., and remove ALL photos, correspondence, phone #s, etc. that relate to past girlfriends. Doesn't matter if you have a Valentine's Day card from your 7th grade admirer, believe me that stuff is just a ticking time bomb when it comes to Russian women.

Like posters above have written, don't invest anything in redecorating because she'll have her own ideas on how to make your place home. It will be one of her first real acts of laying claim to her new territory, she'll feel useful during a time when she's going to be extremely dependent upon you, and it will give you both a fresh start together.

As far as food, chances are even your best produce won't hold a candle to what was available at home. (And even if it does, it won't, if you catch my drift

Good luck!

It's so funny to read all that - it looks like a lot of you guys are married to very traditional homemaker-type women I thought they were all extinct nowadays.

I am busy right now getting my place ready but my fiancee is not the typical homemaker type. I have to say if she walked in now she might go home since I have things all torn up putting some finishing touches on a kitchen remodel. I would be surprised if my gal spends the first week cleaning and redecorating. She is not much on cooking either. Still I will sweep most of the dirt under the carpet before she arrives.

She is a little different in a lot of ways. She doesn't like Russian food and likes ice cubes which I guess is not normal. She will be happy to have some AM-RW couples as friends but has no interest in looking up what little we have of RW living here.

I tried that and she changed everything once she got here

They are not extinct just yet, I think that Russian woman can be both traditional homemaker type and professional type working girl(not a working girl). My wife cant start her career until she goes back to school for a few years kind of a bummer but after the 1st of the year we are going to try to find her a job someplace nice.

I just purchased a house for my fiancee and I today; first thing I will get is a small long table to put by the front door; under it will go shoes and on top some flowers, in the small drawers will go our keys and other items used every day.

They aren't extinct in the Philippines

Get a few pairs of "tapochki" to put on when you swap out your "street shoes" and a small mirror for the doorway as well. And don't forget a welcome mat (big and sturdy bristles) for outside and a big soft carpet for inside.

Congrats on purchasing the new house. If I were you, I wouldn't buy too much stuff just yet. Let your fiancee help you choose everything. It will be fun for the two of you to do together, and it will ensure you don't mess up and buy the wrong things!

Slim

Not a problem, I only have a simple twin bed and no furniture; I had sold everything before I went to live in Russia. Maybe I will get a new queen bed and some used furniture but then we will get all new when she arrives.

Great info everyone, thanks.

I live in an apartment, so fixing anything up isn't an option. Fortunately it's a pretty decent place, so no improvements necessary. I have gotten in the habit of removing my shoes when I enter the apartment, which is probably a good one to get into anyway. I'll probably hire someone to clean top to bottom just before she arrives too. The good news (for her) is that my selection of dishes, cookware, and furniture are modern bachelor, which is to say the furniture is from the curbside and dishes are from Goodwill, so I'm sure one of the first things we'll do is head out to let her pick out all new stuff.

It's easy to say such things based on a few comments, but the reality is much more complex. My wife, for instance, was one of the top designers at the largest furniture store in Europe, she's just beginning to look for work here now that her AOS is complete and I'm sure she'll have a great career. Her interest in redecorating our home was, naturally, more than a Suzy Homemaker project.

I actually do more cooking than my wife does as I enjoy it and I'm better at it (just don't tell her, please), and we both pitch in at cleaning. I never was attracted to homemaker-type women (although I don't begrudge those who are, as there are men and women who want such roles in life and if it makes them happy, who am I to judge?).

The thing is, when she tells casual friends some of the things she feels strongly about (having children, the importance of family, her loathing of gender-neutral clothing that she sees many American women wearing, etc.), they immediately assume she's some docile scullery maid who waits for me at home each evening with a pair of slippers and martini in each hand. Man, if only they knew the real story... It's vexing but ultimately kind of funny. Anyway, this is a discussion for another topic, sorry for running off on a tangent...

Personally, I'd WAIT and let HER pickout what SHE wants when she gets there. The shopping experience will be a new adventure for her (and you) in itself!

I guess what I'm really looking to know, is what *needs* to be in the home when she first comes home. Like a tea kettle and (black) tea, etc. It's all fine and dandy to take her shopping for furniture or makeup or whatever, but obviously she's going to want to relax for a bit and catch her breath before heading out.

If you're talking basics: a chaynik (Automatic water boiler), black or green tea, some dark bread, cheese, butter, oil, sour cream, mayonnaise, wine, Russian vodka, candy, potatoes, flour for blini, whole milk, etc. Those are standards we ALWAYS had in our flat in Russia.

That should get you guys started on a good note.


Some things you should have for her before she arrives have been listed. Russian type foods and of course, tea is a necessity. Other stuff you may or may not have is extra towels, pillows, maybe even a toothbrush in case she lost hers or something. Also, something comfy for her to lounge around and sleep in would probably be just what she would like after a long flight and a day or two of travel. (Think like a girl for a minute..... warm shower with "girly" soap and shampoo, maybe a big ol' loofah or a back washer thingy, some scented candles, bath oils, etc.... and spray some of that smelly stuff too. Your bathroom can't smell too good!)

Your bachelor pad sounds a lot like mine (used to) so step back, think like a girl for a minute, and anything ugly or smelly should be discarded. Have a nice comfy throw blanket or a new house robe (soft and pink doesn't hurt) sitting next to the flowers and chocolates (and champagne!) and enjoy celebrating your reunion.

HAVE FUN!!! Good luck!

For a complete list of things you'll need later - things like a garlic press, gloves for cleaning, eye make-up remover, better pillows, etc., we'll all have to chip in and make a list. As they said in Top Gun, "the list is long, but distinguished."


Edited: Almost forgot... buy some of the pink razors and some of that pink shaving gel. It's unlikely she passed through the airports with some razors in her carry-on bags, so have some waiting for her so she can complete the transformation from travel zombie into "fresh woman!" (Buy the smallest pack of razors and the travel size of gel. It won't be the right kind anyway, but it will hold her over until you introduce her to your local supermarket or pharmacy.)

I have been think of other ways to make the house nice for her. I think I will install one of those removable showers that you can hand hold. All the showers I saw in Russia had them connected to the main faucet.

I will get one that is long enough to use while taking a bath or a shower. Also good for giving the dog a bath.

She will like that John. My fiancee specifically asked for one. I thought about just running the garden hose in through the window but since I had one of those laying around I just installed it a few weeks ago.

Sorry guys for pitching in on this male discussion but in my humble east woman opinion
*buying Russian vodka for welcome while you live in Monterey CA is a crime
*cleaning, cleaning, cleaning ALWAYS good advice
*no pink razors, gels etc. she will think that some other woman bought it (agree with ticking time bomb) or it might be not for her skin type – allergic, dry, extra dry, mixed, whatever really long list
This above are details, she will redo many things her way. I know is not you are asking for in your thread but more important will come later – her being in the adaptation process. I don’t know your lady English level but always taking some classes might help her if not with language maybe with finding some friends.
Encourage her to do driving license as soon as possible, her own will be valid probably for 3 months. (in TN I don’t know about CA).
I don’t know you either but often helps known your lady background – learn Russia history.

We just installed one in our bathroom... it took us two years to realize how convenient it is!

Moxcamel, you live in Monterey - I can bet anything your fiancee is gonna love it. It's hard not to. The Aquarium is just awesome, and the Cannery Row... I gotta go there soon, been a while But it's also very far from... pretty much everything. If your fiancee is into the big city life it may take a little while for her to adjust.


Tea kettle is definitely important. My husband had never owned one before he met me. He still boils his water in the microwave and calls my kettle "that funky thing". I don't get it - to me a kettle is a must.

A lot depends on individual tastes too - no one knows your fiancee as well as you do, so there's only so much we can recommend. I'm trying to think what I would wanna see if I was moving into my boyfriend's place... Well, my own computer (if she's not bringing one with her), a bath robe, a hair dryer, a kettle... everything's already been mentioned.


We used to have the same selection for quite a while It's not that long ago that we started to make more or less decent money, so now we're eventually buying new stuff - and we're both having a blast with it. Your fiancee will definitely enjoy shopping for furniture and cookware - it's always a lot of fun.

LOL! How true. She's actually very fond of white wine, and of course you can't swing a cat in this part of California without hitting a vineyard so if I can't earn points on the wine then I'm doomed anyway.


This is where I shine the least, so it'll be a professional maid service a couple days before she arrives for me. A man's gotta know his limitations.


Well the "other woman" that will be helping me out will be my daughter, so I don't think that'll be a problem.


Her English needs improvement, and she's taking lessons right now. But I plan to get her into an ESL class too. As for driving, I just hope she doesn't make her own lanes like they do back home.

Dang, these are all some really good suggestions. Nice to have the benefit of the experiences of those of you who have gone before me.

The great thing about Monterey is that we're close enough to the larger cities (Salinas, Santa Cruz, San Jose, San Francisco) that it doesn't feel all that remote, and yet we're far enough away that it still has a small town feel to it. And she's a farm girl, so anything larger than your average village is big to her.


Yeah, I'll have to coordinate with her when the time comes to get a better idea of what she'll need. Obviously there's a limit to what she can take on an airplane. Gotta be tough to decide what goes in your 2 pieces of luggage to start a new life with.

I have to agree the pink razor could do more harm than good.

If she brings her own hair drier or curling iron you will need to rewire your house for 220 and Russian plugs so it would be easier to just have one waiting for her. I would suggest leaving it in the box and getting a good quality one.

… almost forget important but delicate issue of money.
If she has some savings then great, if not give her some money just for her disposition, she will be dependant upon you (without job for next few months) and believe me she might feel embarrassed asking you to buy her everything e.g. tampons.
Also start looking for ESL programs just now (deadlines for applications)
I recommend university programs vs. community college no matter if more expensive you can deduct it from your taxes if you fill them jointly. Books – I’m buying on Amazon or eBay for half price.
Good luck to you guys. I cross my fingers for you and your beautiful fiancée.

A lot of areas have free ESL classes in the hopes of making them more productive, able to hold a job and than of course pay taxes. Here it is the branch of Penn State University. Free is not deductable on your income tax but still a good deal.

Dang, I wish I had read this topic two weeks ago before my sweetie arrived.

Things I didn't think about and bought in the first couple days:
Bath robe with hood
Ironing board (she wouldn't unpack her suitcase until she could iron everything)
Clothes hangers with slots on the tops ( to hang dresses, etc)

Things I had thought of beforehand:
Laundry basket
Her own E-mail and ICQ account
Mobile phone

Pink razors, not a necessity, but if you do buy them, keep them in the packet and only buy a travel size or the pack with 3 in it. (If you're going to buy small toiletries to hold her over until she can do some shopping.)


For stuff like a hair dryer, curling iron, clothes iron (and board) tea kettle, etc., you should be able to go to a discount store near you (we have one here called Big Lots) and pick up something cheap for her to use until she really finds the one she likes. If you're really lucky, she'll like the cheap one.

Same goes for clothes. Stores like TJ Maxx, Kohls, Value City, Target, etc., are always going to have better deals than Bebe, Saks, and Macy's. (If you can get your wife to always avoid the latter, please PM me and let me know the magic potion you're using.) And don't forget about internet shopping. The Victoria's Secret website is always having good deals and sales, so get on the e-mail list for those. Be careful that she doesn't get hooked on e-shopping, but you can use it as a tool for her to better view what's available. Plus, it'll give her something to do while you're gone.

And don't forget about your wholesale discount stores. Sam's Club, Costco, etc., are awesome for getting what you need at the lowest prices, even for stuff like a tea kettle. (Bought a nice one at Costco for only $15. A year later, it's still going strong!) The savings on toilet paper and paper towels alone will more than pay for your membership. Plus, most of them also sell gas at a discounted price. And you may need a wedding ring set soon...... discount jewelry isn't too bad at these stores.

Oh, and don't forget the water filtration system or big jug of water. I don't know about your girl in particular, but just about everyone on here says their S/O looks at tap water like sulfuric acid. Gotta have clean water.

More to follow....

Edited: A couple posts back someone said you should give your fiancee some money in case she wants to buy tampons or other "feminine" products or something of that nature. I agree you should give her some pocket money to use for stuff, but the whole tampon issue should be resolved quick, fast, and in a hurry. You're going to get married. Sure there are going to be some things that may not be all the way comfortable at first, especially since most of you getting married on this site really haven't spent a lot of time with each other, but something like personal issues, the bathroom, the "icky" stuff that each of you do..... GET OVER IT! And get over it quickly. You're going to be living together and interacting on a daily basis. It would be a shame if 30 years from now you still have to sneak into the bathroom to pinch a loaf because you're too embarassed for your S/O to hear. And buying tampons? Come on! That's like being embarassed to buy condoms. You should be proud to buy that stuff! Walking up to the counter with a big grin on your face and slapping it down in triumph (while assuming the "Captain Morgan" pose), it says to the whole world "Look at me, I'm about to get some!" And buying tampons only takes it a step further, proclaiming, "Look at me. I get it so much that she's comfortable having me purchase tampons for her!"

Just to clarify...I shouldn't proclaim to the whole world "Look at me, I'm about to get some!" while buying the tampons, right?

Having been married previously, I won't have a problem with the "icky" stuff. But I have read that (generic) "she" might be embarrassed to shop for feminine products with the hubby-to-be, at least at first. Which is understandable. As for me, I'll be sending my teenage daughter out shopping with her, so I get to dodge that whole bullet.

Yeah, you're probably right. Unless you're into that sort of thing.



You're a lucky man!

Slim, I almost fell out of my chair laughing at your post. I think everyone has to understand that certain aspects of marriage are difficult at first but you need to get used to it. My wife is still having a difficult time with our bathroom having the toilet, sink and shower in the same room. Luckily we have two bathrooms.

I think the cure for shopping at the cheaper stores versus the high priced ones is to start out at the high priced stores. Tell her you are going on a "shopping trip" with her to find the best deals. Make sure she understands how much you want her to compare prices before buying. That will probably work.

It's not a matter of being cheap but some of those stores (Macy's, Saks, etc.) are really over priced on a lot of items.

My fiance had all pads and women"s stuff for me before I even arrived..
Its funny,but he knew which type i Like to use and how much of what I need.
Also he prepapred for me medical insurance,since his work is covering partially me as well,so after a week of my arrival I had my own insurance.

We also have a new house which is completely empty.all we have is tv some office couches and one bed.2 other bedrooms are free and i never even go into there.
Its a good idea to wait for me till i come to decorate it,but I have more business mind as he does and understanding it well that decoration does not increase a value of your property,so I would rather pay mortgage in advance if we have any "extra" money...

The biggest problem is transportation ,which we are working on right now and I am learning to drive.I would never drive in Moscow,but North of Ca has a problem with a public transportation...

Slim is right about making women busy it is very tough for an active russian women just sit home..Even though we have a huge house to take care of,Its not enaugh...I am helping my fiance with work,he is bringing me some,so that way i also support him.
Gym is also a great thing to take your mind away from being so far from your family.
I talk to mom every day for a bout a half an hour or a bit more..

Make sure she knows and is ready before she comes here that people are very into their own business and you do not tell to"friends"your personal problems..
In Russia everyone talks of it with no problem...

Make sure that you save bunch of money,because first time even food takes lots of money till you settle and find out whats better to eat for both of you:)

Haha and make sure you buy bunch of fruits..russians eat more fruits than anyone..all safeway is laughing at me shopping every day for fresh organic strawberries...But hey its better than donuts for your body:)))

Oh my,
Guys, guys you missing the point, most probably because of my “still need to be improved” English…
This is not about being embarrassed buying tampons, condoms…whatever this is just part of life and maybe I gave wrong example. And really this is not about nuances and obviousness of woman- man, man –man, woman- woman living together.
My post was about her being embarrassed to asking you to buy her everything, every single ting. You wouldn't like to be in her shoes. Imagine this is like a violation of her independency. I still think that some pocket money will help her, before she starts working.

LOL slim I appreciate your enthusiasm with proclaiming in Captain Morgan pose (from limited edition of course with that tasty vanilla flavor) that you about to get some tampons.

I picked up on your point calamitka, although I have also read that buying personal effects such as tampons is embarrassing to some women. So there is a double point to be made. I think establishing her independence as early as possible is going to be very important. Nadya's a very independent woman anyway, so I know it's going to be important to make her feel useful and independent very early on.

Thank you moxcamel.
…and sorry for impatience in my tone, like all of us I’m getting anxious with this whole waiting.
Wish you good luck.

No apologies are necessary, I detected no impatience in your tone. And I am very grateful for your advice!

You guys are hilarious. You talk about this as if you are getting a new puppy or kitten! Litter box, food, chewable bone, warm blanket, etc...

That's certainly not how I think of this at all. I understand that this woman is leaving behind everything she's ever known, including her family, friends, and the culture that's been integral to her since birth. She's sacrificing everything to be with me, and I don't take it lightly. I want to make sure her first days are as comfortable as I can make them. If I'm taking a light tone, it's only because there's no reason to be overly dramatic. But make no mistake, I don't for one second think of her as some kind of toy or pet. I don't think anyone who's serious about such a complicated relationship takes it lightly.

All valid points made above.

The "dependency" issue is probably the hardest thing to work through. It was extremely difficult for us (we were pretty short on cash, so even something like meeting new people for coffee was seldom, if ever, done) and is still going on even now. It's not like it was, but the first few months, before she could work, were very difficult.

Working doesn't solve everything though, so to minimize her feelings of being "caged in" and totally needing you for everything, encourage her as much as possible, and as early as possible, to get involved in something outside the home. Something that will take up a large amount of her time, and something that DOES NOT involve you. "Me" time is very important, especially when everything else in her life revolves around you.


And Satellite, it kind of is like getting a new puppy or a kitty for most of us. We go through months and months (sometimes years) of waiting and then we jump in, head first, with someone from a completely different culture that speaks a completely different language. (Being from the FSU, you got the luxury of having less of a "culture shock" than most of us.) There are huge obstacles to overcome, and the more planning and preparation that goes into it, the more successful the start of the relationship will be. That doesn't mean acquiring an S/O is like acquiring a new pet, but it's a similar instance in which one can increase the chances of a successful transition by taking certain steps prior to the arrival of the new household member; puppy or person.

I am speaking from the perspective of being married but not yet living together - the interview is next week. I don't believe it is all that different than a situation where any two people are merging their individual lifestyles. There has got to be give and take compromises in the set-up decisions. Given that I am the one whose house we are merging into it was extremely important for me to begin thinking in terms of "ours" instead of "mine" immediately. That is a key mental shift that has to be made early because it takes a little time. Once that happened I found myself open to the process of making the home something different than it has ever been and we began the process of creating that household together. It has been a great way for us to work on our relationship skills and the details of our marital arrangement while waiting for the immigration process. Sure beats droning, redundant versions of "I love you , I miss you". If your spouse or fiance is open to the idea and you can create a budget for such a "project" I can highly recommend it. We worked together on everything from interior remodeling details to handling finances, to indoor climate control preferences, to parenting techniques...etc. I would venture that in the 9 months we've been married and apart we've have accomplished more in terms of aligning our individual lives than I managed in the 14 years of my first marriage (I am only slightly embarrassed to say). That's not to say there won't be changes or revisions to decisions we've made but we feel great about the progress under the circumstances.

So what have I done to prepare? Here are some (in no particular order): get the electric teapot, remove clutter (AKA purge the basement and all storage areas), adopt the no shoes rule, stop using plastic cups, begin using separate cutting boards and knives for meat and vegetables, get rid of most of the antiques (the American definition is "antique", the Russian defintion is "used junk"), don't hang things on the walls (that will be something we decide together and I had way too much so I probably can't be trusted to make this choice alone). I won't get into the details of my "general contractor" duties but trust me when I say they were significant. The absolute most important preparation has been - consult, consult, consult. She wants to be involved in the details, no matter how small. By doing this one thing it has enabled her to play a huge part in shaping the environment that we can truly call "ours".

I think that Russians and Americans are very similar, no cultural differences to speak of, really. I mean, we don't bow to our bosses and we don't go around wearing kimonos, right?

I certainly didn't feel like I was getting a new puppy when I moved in with husband, but I moved in from one apartment in California to another, so it was very different from what a lot of future spouses are going through here. What I asked him to do before I moved in was to find some space for my computer desk and free one book shelf for my books

One thing is to move from one flat in Ca to another and is different to come from russia straight to luive with a man you supposed to spend the rest of your life:)
Great it worked for you though:)I did appreciate all my man tried to do to impress me:)

Ah, mama, mama! It was so funny to read what guys wrote about preparations Kettles, tapochki, tampons, cleaning etc We were in a very good contact with my husband (fiancee at that time) and I didn't have any thoughts about how I would be checking dust or durty dishes. It's not that important as understanding between you and it's easier to solve than problems in your relationships.
It reminds me my arrival. My first crying because all these stupid stores were full of ugliest stuff I've ever seen! I regreted so much that I didn't buy more skirts, pants, tops there, in Russia!!! And then bras... Here they all look like cops vests - thik and able to protact you even against missils No lace, nothing feminine ( throwing up under the copm desk). Forget about Victoria's secret. Fredericks is better then Victoria's secret in question of flirty and feminine underwear. And then Frederck's supports better unusual sizes which can be very important issue. It already costed me a lot of tears during my fruitless search in all these Macy's, Targets, JCPenny etc.
If your fiancee loves sewing or knitting then find some fabric and yarn stores. JoAnn is not bad but... There is not any other normal stores of this kind any way. Na bezrybye i rak ryba About money - oh, yeah! Some cash in her pocket is always a good idea It's not bad to walk for self entertainment to the closest store and buy just couple of simple things. I love to see cashiers' surprised faces - that's all you need?! I answer that I have my husband for all these heavy groceries Usually they don't catch it but try to smile. They so got used to see people buying mountains of food and driving cars that they can't imagine 5 mins walk with a package of cottage cheese
About spending time somewhere else - it depends on her caracter and life expirience. I had to work a lot and sometimes I had 3 jobs at the same time when I was in Russia. I really don't miss it and we take our time in this question - tax return gives us more money then my possible job, so why bother? I stay the most part of time in our apartment doing regular home things. And I don't feel bored. When you have a little child then permanent mess is garanteed Also I have my own gym - sewing machine, knitting machine, vacuum cleaner etc During 6 months I was busy without any jobs - homeschooling was taking a lot of time. My daughter didn't speak English at all when we came here. Also she was in the first grade in her russian school and I had to teach her basic things in maths and handwriting in both languages. Now she gets test results even better than kids who were born and grew up here!
As you can see - you always can find something to do. And ask her more often what she would like to do, to try or may be she has her own ideas about things you proposed. Talk, talk and once again talk to her. It's impossible to think ahead about everything. And it's always good to ask her instead of guessing.

for our new life, I have purchased a house; I sent her photos of many of the houses I looked at and we selected one together.

during my last visit with Alla, I took along some home magazines to get an idea of what she likes; from the magazines I learned she liked open spaces, lots of light, views out the window, cozy comfortable spaces, fireplaces, etc.

Alla has a dog, the house has a fence but it is old and looks like hell; I am working with Alla to plan a new fence; I sent her some photos of different designs and once we agree I will build the fence. I will send her progress photos to share the process together.

I have purchased some cheap used furniture; this will help the house not look empty until we can go together and pick out new furniture.

This process makes us closer and gives me something to work on during the long wait process.

But what about dictionaries?

Our computers all have Lingvo on them -- a Russian-English dictionary I got a few years ago. I'll buy the current version when I return.

There are also several paper Russian-English dictionaries. Kenneth Katzner's seems to be the best for "American" English but we have others. When she was here last time (on the K1) we kept them lying around the place so that we could quickly look up that word that one or the other of us was reaching for.

My wife is pretty fluent in English (college degree in English, plenty of work experience, govt certified translator, besides relating to me in English over the distance for these years) but there are still plenty of words she doesn't know. And most Russian toddlers speak Russian better than I do. The dictionaries can be impt!

Well, I am a day and a half into this and it has been interesting and great actually. Funny how much you can clean and how much you will miss. I envy guys with an efficiency apartment.

First thing when she walked through the door was to ask me (ask???) to get rid of the Russian stuff I had, Stacking dolls, etc) All in all it has been great. People at JFK were rude but the lady customer at the yogurt counter in WalMart ballanced that off with striking up a conversation with her and telling her the weight watcher's yogurt was the best thing ever and just being very friendly. It left a good impresision of America with her.

Today we are off to the outlet malls.