Turbo

I wish you the very best; it will be fun the first couple weeks but also shocking.

Congratulations to the both of you! I'm a bit jealous, but completely happy for you!

Please do keep dropping in to let us know how you're both adjusting to life with each other.

I can only speak for myself on this but I think this is absolutely the best thread I have read on this forum. I stumbled across this thread this morning and read it from start to finish. I was under the mistaken impression that no one else thought about these things in advance and I am happy to be wrong.

Your advice and insights into this subject are welcome and informative. I also have purchased a new house for the 2 of us. She was instrumental in selecting it and it will remain undecorated until she arrives. I feel that she needs to have her "territory" and the house is it. I am well aware that she is leaving behind everything she has ever known and my sacrifice is small in comparrison.

Mox, Jeff & Slim (and others), your posts have been entertaining and helpful. I just talked to Tanya and she has said she would like for me to wait until she arrives and we will go shopping for the necessities at first and stock up on the other things as they come up. I have befriended several Russian immigrants in my area and they have filled me in on all the places to shop for food etc. I think I am ready to roll, or as ready as I will ever be.

I would love to see more posts on here from the women and on their experiences during their first few months. What was it like for them? What did they do to adjust? What were their needs and discoveries? I would love to sharew this info with Tanya to better prepare her for the transition. I know each story will be different but it would still be helpful.

Looking forward to hearing more on this subject.

Bill

Agreed Nav, I'd like to see more posts from the women's perspective. What did we do wrong, what did we do right, how could we have made your move to America easier?

And yeah, this has been a really fun thread. Maybe even sticky-worthy? Hmmm....

Well, let's see we are in day 3 assuming she wakes up after 12 hours in bed and has not contracted sleeping sickness. She did move about 4 hours ago so I do know she is alive. Of course in trying to keep her company I am normally a 5-6 hours sleeper but managed over 11 myself.

I can't say anthing much different than anyone else would say. You already can't reconginze my house and I think she has barely started. I am probably lucky that she was here on a K-1 once before so she had a better idea what to expect. She has probably been a little less into cooking than some so we are splitting those duties. Having survived a long time as a batchlor I can survive on my own cooking but pizza and burgers are not quite her thing.

Today I will go to work for a few hours so it will be our first time apart. She should be fine. I had sort of planned some heavy duty shopping for clothes for her over the weekend but we were too busy on the house so my budget is still intact.

I could probably get her to post some of her impressions but again she has been here before so may have known more what to expect.

Me too! I've tried in vain to get my wife to post here but it's just not interesting for her. Plus, this is kind of "my" thing. When your S/O arrives, ensure she has the opportunity to get some things that are just "hers" that she can do without you. I'll stress again being 100% dependent on you is not something most of the recent S/O arrivals look forward to. If you afford her the time and chance to really take on something without you it will probably be really helpful down the road.




Good luck keeping it that way!

good luck!

My wife is the same way Slim, she looks at the boards as some sort of playground for boys and couldn't be bothered to post!

In my experience, there is no greater friend to you during the time of your fiancee's initial transition than PATIENCE. Whenever you feel sorry for yourself after she inexplicably loses it and blames you for every calamity under the sun, every time she confesses that she wishes she were back home in Russia, every time you take her out to dinner and she orders something expensive and after one bite decides she doesn't like it... SUCK IT UP and remember the sacrifices she's made and the enormous stress she is feeling while living in a strange land, completely dependent upon you for everything.

We bought house also same way:)he showed me all options and i choosed.about decorations he said he wants me to do it and we doing now bit by bit when we find some good deals for some pictures and stuff that makes home homey:)

I agree with Slim about her having stuff that is just about her..But I have other issue..
Alex is working all day and I am proud of him being a hard worker.while he is at work I am taking care of house,cooking him lunch and dinner-only healthy stuff so takes quite a time to cook.
Before I was getting very depressed,because transportation here is not developed much and I do not have my drivers license yet.So tell her fiancee if she has a chance to take license in russia before coming.
Also I really missed Alex while he was at work,since he is my only friend here:)))
so we sorted out it recently couple days ago..Now each lunch he picks me up and we go to workout together:)Before his arrival i have his lunch ready,so he can eat afterwards at work.
after Gym I feel like life is much better:))and have bunch of home stuff to do,then i answer emails from friends and family and start cooking dinner for him.
I had great career in russia with 2 works at the time travelling all the time all over the world..I really miss that times,but hey that was my choice.We also realized that we are way too career obsessed and if we work apart we will end up devorcing...Work will take all our lives..so we compromising before problem occurs,i am helping him bit by bit now with his work from home,like filling forms and stuff-he is a Loan officer..and he suggested me to try work with him,so that way we see each other more.again it is about personalities..I am crazy for my husband and want to be near all the time,so does he..But i am still having just mine thing which is going to be teaching ballet to little girls:)that way we both get what we want.
Regarding clothes:I left bunch of stuff jin russia and actually regret it.I am tall as most russian girls and have way too long legs for this country.I shoped all over Northern Ca and can not find new pair of pants or jeans!
So if your girl is that case,tell her to shop for pants in russia.

For home stuff we shop at Ross-they have a great deals.

As for climate i love to read news and seeing in russia is snowing,while i am in a warm california where people complain if its 25C..lol
So i appreciate that comfort.
again its a serious thing to go through k1 and time for an adult relationship where people discuss what they both should change about themselves to make it work:)
good luck with that:)

Kotenochek, perhaps when my Nadya arrives we'll have to meet up with you and your hubby for dinner or something. I'm just south of San Francisco. I'm sure you could be a wealth of information to her, not to mention a friendly accent.

I know what you mean about Californian's complaining if the temperature dips just a little. I'm originally from Colorado, and we get some pretty cold winters. Not as bad as Moscow I think, but still very cold. Yesterday afternoon it was about 18C here in Monterey and I saw people wearing snow parkas and all bundled up. Me, I just had a long sleeved shirt on. It was too funny!

You seem very compassionate. Whenever I tell my husband something like that, we end up having a fight.

Same here, I'm a gym rat. How much is gym membership out that way?

I feel like you're describing my wife here! I've been in your shoes so many times. What a feeling, huh? But guys, there is hope, and it does lessen over time. I still get the six-year-old pouts and the nose to the sky when the $26 entree isn't exactly right. I've seen a temper-tantrum in more than a few public places. I've even driven home alone from more than one place after she's "called for taxi" because she wasnt' having a good enough time (or I wasn't paying enough attention to her.) So, yes.... it does happen. But, as said above, there are reasons behind it, and if you're patient, it will eventually lessen and (hopefully) go away entirely.

(And just to be a glass-half-full type of guy here:) There's also no better way to score points with the women you know than by being patient with your "b!tchy" wife. Women here see that type of behavior from a woman with a man treating her like gold and they can't help but tell all their friends about it. Before you know it, there are several "in line" for when you finally get tired of the "high and mighty" attitudes.

But, they fail to see the flip side too, and that is all the extra stuff you guys share together, the good times, the fun, the overwhelming sacrifices you both make for each other that ultimately leads to a much better relationship than what would be possible with one of them. The "Old School" factor as I like to call it. The "I am woman and you must be man" aspect of the relationship that is devoid in most AM/AW relationships these days.

Ah... the daily trade-off. It does get better, guys. Keep your heads up! (And mouths shut!)




This may or may not help. If you live in a state where she can drive your vehicle on the international license, cool. If not, she will have to retest anyway. Also, American cars are a little different than the ones she may have driven. My wife has an international license. We went driving in a park one day, and there was absolutely no way I was going to let her drive my F-150 4X4 anywhere besides in and out of the parking spot she was practicing on. She had no desire to go anywhere else either and required some "magic fingers" on her arms and shoulders after turning that big ol' wheel for about 20 minutes. (Actually, she would've done just fine with more practice, it's just that neither one of us really had the inclination to follow through with the training that would've been required to drive that big truck. So, I got a Jeep. A stick-shift Jeep. That she also can't drive without a lot of practice..... back to the drawing board. Or, more accurately, back to the parking lot.)



I can't come home for lunch. (Work 3rd shift anyway.) But, we did try to excercise together in the evenings. This REALLY helped us out. And it helped us (me) to drop a few pounds/kilos. Plus, it doesn't hurt the libido either!



Very important to ensure that she can set and attain her individual goals. Encourage your spouse to set them, then take an active part in helping her achieve them. I have done neither of these, and I'm still paying for it. (My doghouse sure is getting nice now... new TV, gas/electric, etc.)



My wife will add "where is (expletive deleted) fashion in this (expletive deleted) place? I not see (expletive deleted) fashionable clothes (expletive deleted) and (expletive deleted) no (expletive deleted) style anywhere (expletive deleted.)" To which I add a nice (and manly) "uh huh" as I rock my 8-year-old sweat pants and a T-shirt full of holes.

I have noticed when we go shopping for clothes for her, about the only things that will fit her nicely are things with European sizes (still made in Taiwan, but for sale in Europe) on the tags. They also tend to be a little pricier. But, it's worth it because it's nice to see a woman's shape instead of the other shape. (Round.) She's said several times she needs this or that and had one back home and really wished she would've brought it with her. So, ladies... if you have "fashionable" stuff that fits you well, bring it with you! America is not the fashion capital it's made out to be on Fashion Week or America's Next Top Model. Everywhere U.S.A. is home to some of the most ugly clothes you're going to see in your whole life. You'll also see more women trying to downplay their figure here more than anywhere else besides the Middle East. It's an adventure when it comes to fashion in the States. And guys, helping your lady shop is an adventure also. I recommend finding the most comfortable chair in the store as soon as you arrive, "claiming it", and then settling in for a nice nap. She'll let you know when she's ready for the credit card. (Added bonus: I've yet to hear "does this make my @$$ look fat?")



Just as a general rule: Guys, you should change everything but your job. Girls, you shouldn't change a thing. You're perfect already, that's why we picked you. Or, what I meant was, that's why we were lucky enough to have you pick us. Yeah, that's what I meant. If that's what you wanted me to mean. Or, I mean, um... say, that shirt looks so nice and compliments your hair! Did I mention how beautiful you were today?

Anyway, have fun together and enjoy your time with each other. You've both sacrificed a lot to get here. (You're going to sacrifice a lot more to make it work. GOOD LUCK!!!!)

Hehe yeah we could do that