That in itself wouldn't be a denial but I'd agree that only seeing her once in person combined with this situation and I just don't see how they'd make it through the interview successfully

like i said earlier, i find it all dubious
i'm a filipina too

i understand raped women are protected by law and there are powerful/infuential organizations here in the philippines that promote and protect these women's rights and provide services to help them recover and move on from the trauma
perhaps filipinas who were raised in the rural areas may not be aware that they can get help for such things (i am not being condescending here)
just that not a lot of raped women feel safe to come out and disclose this information from fear of unfavorable treatment by the society
a major reason for this is that we are generally conservative, especially those who come from less urbanized areas

that subic rape case was committed by americans to a filipina and it was a huge thing here
and that filipina was given protection
then again that subic rape case was more than a rape case, if you think about it

In my opinion, the fact that she is willing to give the child to the family of the "rapist" is the biggest red flag.

I can't imagine a rape victim agreeing to such an arrangement, ever!

But then, that's just me...

I could see delaying telling a spouse even in the case of an American woman, if it were a case of acquaintance rape, because of the shame and because of how awful people treat rape victims when it isn't a stranger jumping out of the bushes. I could easily see someone deciding to keep it quiet or not going to the cops. And that's without having a visa process to jeopardize.

I can even see keeping the baby. What I can't see is giving the baby to the rapist's family to raise. And while the OP's wife might be totally honest with him, the fact is that there's a more plausible story to the CO: girl has a Filipino boyfriend, means to use the American for a green card and petition for him, oops, gets pregnant, has the 'rapist' take care of the baby so that sometime after lifting conditions they both can follow to join.

I'm pretty much on the page with you except there are some facts that mitigate the "more plausible story". The Filipino boyfriend in the story, is working in Korea. The parents will have the baby. Reuniting under the scenario you describe is a years long process that separates a mother and child for all those years. I doubt that's really the scenario but I don't doubt the CO will consider it and need to be convinced otherwise. Even if the CO thinks the true scenario is that the friend was a casual sex buddy and they had an accident, proving bona fides and getting a visa is going to be very difficult.

I agree with you Mrs. Johnson06. What happened should not called raped, since she knew the rapist, and
she said he was a friend of hers.

Actually,
whether it was rape or not depends only on whether she agreed to it or kept saying no.
Women sometimes get raped by their husbands, for real.

Women can be raped by their friends you know. It isn't just something that happens to strangers.

A decent person who is considered to be one person's friend would not rape his female friend. The story did not make any sense at all.

OMG!.. Hmmm...

I'm afraid we're getting all hung up in terminology here.

In the US, we consider a rape to have taken place whenever the woman involved continues to say no and the man proceeds to engage in intercourse. This results in wide range of possible rape scenarios from the least to most violent of acts that fit the range of behavior combinations that constitute rape. I don't condone any such behavior but many tend to envision the violent stranger rape kind of scenario, complete with a beating and knife to the throat anytime they see or hear the word rape or rapist.

In this scenario, I think that's counterproductive at least to the understanding of those who haven't read all the facts presented. Our courts deal with many cases every day where juries need to decide whether the facts presented constitute a rape having occured, even when the accused stipulates to having intercourse.

Decent people sometimes do indecent things. I don't have any problem envisioning a scenario that would constitute "rape" by the simplified definition we use, where sufficient respect for the accused and his family would allow for their keeping the resulting offspring. It happens. It's plausible. The problem is that other explanations seem far more plausible, making convincing a CO of the less plausible story, very difficult indeed.

You'd be surprised how many women have had "decent" male friends who then have raped them. Don't discount the story just because you cannot see the scenario happening.

Exactly. It's actually more common than the proverbial dark man in the bushes jumping out and attacking someone. (And one reason a woman might not want to come forward is the people who will say 'you can't have been raped because you know the guy, you must have provoked him.')

I guess I didn't make myself very clear:

My point is: If it was rape (no matter if it was a "friend", an uncle or a complete stranger), I can't believe a woman would give her child to the family of the guy who did this to her!

I'd see it that way as well.

There are just too many red flags, inconsistent facts, strange decisions, and other issues going on in this situation.

Nobody wants to think their relationship is wrong or they are being used or that they could be fooled by someone they loved, but the fact of the matter is this stuff happens daily.

The OP was in contact with his wife one time and that was to get married. Only together physically one time in the same country and the marriage already took place.

With the pregnancy and child on the way the situation is 100x more complicated.

I really hate it when love is used against a person and their feelings are used against them to further the goals of a scheming person.

My uncle brought in a foreign born fiancee. She wasn't pregnant or had kids, but what she didn't say was she had a boyfriend back in China. The minute she was a US citizen she started the divorce proceedings and the process to bring her boyfriend into the US. She succeeded too. She was willing to live a sham marriage and life for several years and most likely had this plan in place from the start.

It's the same exact type of scenario, except for the OP's wife she got pregnant at an inopportune time and my uncle got married after she was in the country.

well, i had my filipina fiancee read this thread. i asked her if that had happened is it likely the woman would give the baby to the "rapist" family. She said it was possible since she wouldnt want the child born of a rape. Having said that she agreed with me that she didnt believe the story. She felt it was her boyfriend who got her pregnant while having a USA husband. happens there more frequently than you would think.

First if an adult filipina has a male "best friend" thats a boyfriend. the culture there is very conservative. Most women dont date alot and they have a chaperone if they do. One of my fiance's friends wants to find a foreign husband. she of course has a filipino boyfriend who the girl states is not her future, so she is looking while keeping this guy on the side. whole thing sounds like she has the USA husband but kept her filipino boyfriend and he got her pregnant. Funny she didnt tell her USA husband about the baby and "rape" until she had to. ANd she didnt go to the police and file a report. The filipino "rapist" is paying the medical bills ( theres a red flag if you ever needed one) of the future baby and the families agree for his family to take care of the baby once born.

I am sure the girl cried when she told the USA husband. i think she was seeing her whole future crumble away. If i was the USA husband i would stand with the wife but only if she went to the police and filed the rape charge. I would go there and be with her for support. If he raped her, he should be punished and she shouldnt protect him. I think she wont go to the police because she is protecting the guy. fortunate he is in korea right now. i say either she is faithful and loyal to the USA husband and files charges on the "best friend rapist" or she is loyal to the filipino boyfriend and the USA Husband should cut his losses. I might be alittle more compassionate if she had told the husband about the rape when it happened, not when she knew she was pregnant and couldnt hide it any longer. I dont believe the guy made threats to her to stay quiet but yet pays the medical bills and is taking the child when its born. Guys who make threats to keep a rape quiet would deny being the father of the baby, not pay the bills and embrace it.

If she files charges then it looks good to the consulate and you have police reports etc on your side. if she doesnt, they have no hope of getting approved. the consulate is going to see this as fraud by her. no matter what, the CO is not going to believe this anymore than alot of us. I feel bad for the USA husband but this story doesnt jive. And in the end the filipina will end up with the "rapist" and their baby.


Chris

Well Chris, your filipina fiancee and my filipina wife seem to think the same way. As a matter of fact, my wife explained it in the exact same words. I don't think Dave has a chance.

I can see why you and her see it that way. But the person was just a old freind from 2005 that came to the Pilippines to visit. Wish I could explain better. But like I said I know her very well from chating cam to cam and on phone like 6 7 hours a day im sure many won't belive me but she is a very good shy sweet girl and was a victim of a rape that was not viloent but its still rape, she is not the type to want to chat or have a side boyfreind and was raisedf by a very good family. Why she didn't tell me or her family at first is becuse she felt embarssed and seems like ashamed it happened.
which no women should feel like if it happened to her. I stayed with her family for most of my stay there they were all so nice, love phillppino people is all I can say. It is one of those thing I guess only us really know how much we love each other and thats hard to explain from writing for me. Anyeway thanks for all the comments and help everyone..

while we all wish you well Dave and hope for the best for you. its not what we think that matters, its what the CO at the embassy will think. And sadly he isnt going to have the hours of phone and cam with your wife and know how sweet and innocent she is. he's going to hear this story same as us and come to the same conclusion we did. I fear your petition is in alot of serious doubt and will be denied if there isnt police reports to back up her claim. She needs to file charges in order to clear herself and it doesnt sound like thats going to happen on her end. but i do wish you the best with her and your life.

Chris

I think the poster has all the information he needs at this point to make an informed decision. At this point I can only see this thread degenerating into nothing but bad things. Hoping a mod will consider locking this thread.

You're right. As a Filipina, I am sorry to say but I don't believe your wife stories.. Many Filipina here especially those from remote areas or in any provinces WILL DO everything just to migrate in other countries and to have a better future. I heard a lot of different stories here in my country. Having a foreigner boyfriend or husband is like you won a lottery.. it's true! It's easy for them to use a foreigner to survive in poverty.. It's a "sacrifice" just for a better future even the foreigner is too OLD, UGLY and NASTY.. they're willing to marry them just for the green card and $$$.. Not only Americans are suffering from this "cheating".. second is Japanese..

As I read your story, Im sorry Daveg "did you ask your wife if the rapist WAS HER EX-BOYFRIEND, CURRENT Boyfriend and not just a simple friend?" If he's JUST a friend he will not do that thing!.. But if the guy likes your wife or they're really a "SECRET LOVERS" maybe it's okey for her NOT to file a report because she will protect her "SPECIAL FRIEND" and of course, no one wants my child's father or lover in prison because soon I'll petition him too. I'm not being harsh on you but I want you to realize that. I'm just concerned to you! And also giving her future baby to the parents of the rapist is REALLY DUBIOUS! After your wife become Citizen she'll then petition her baby and soon the rapist..

Ahm, why not surprise visit her but investigate first.. hire or contact a person to investigate if you're wife is telling the truth and to know the real reason why she didn't file a report.. And traceback what's the real score between the rapist and you're beloved wife!? how they met, etc.... chatting for about 6 hours a day - cam to cam is not enough to know a person.. but if you're together you will know her better then tell me if she's really nice, sweet and shy girl.. I'm so sorry but im a filipina, I know how they think and knows whats happening here in my country. I know more Filipina as much as you do.. Well, think about it before you petition her.

Concerned Citizen from Philippines

This thread really should be locked. So many good opinions and posts made and there is nothing more to be said.

Being in love head over heels means you overlook, forgive, and make excuses for the person you love.

My guess in this case is the OP's case will be denied if they get to the interview. It may be devastating at first, but the CO will most likely see things and the warning signs and go on the side of caution.

It's stuff like this where I wish the K1 visa allowed for 1 year for marriage upon entry to the US.

Sorry to heard these. She can stay somewhere and then report that guy who raped her. This is my question.. Do you and her want to keep a baby of rapist?

I don't support abortion but if comes to your wife's case..I support 100% abortion. So many woman do abortion in Philippines.


Chelbear, I do agree to you..but we never know. She have to report him to prove that she is not lying.

i agree now that its time for the thread to end.

the OP has made his mind up early in the posts to believe his wife and not the common sense and red flags pointed out here on the board.

the common theme of if the wife was raped or had consensual sex with her boyfriend is a moot point. the overwhelming advice is they will be denied at interview unless the wife has police report to back her story. She wont do that since the philippines is very harsh on that crime and if he was her boyfriend she couldnt do that to him. once they are denied at the interview, the OP can either choose to move there and live with his wife, have a long distance marriage, which he doesnt seem able to afford to travel alot,or divorce her since they cant be together here in the usa. the only hope they have of her coming here is her to file charges to make her case legitimate.

Im willing to bet if the OP pressured her to file charges on the guy, she wouldnt even if it meant having the USA husband divorce her, harsh as that sounds. she has the old guy, the baby and can always meet another foreigner in the future to give her another life once all this stuff has cooled down and time has passed from the birth of the child. right now she is trying to salvage what she can out of this mess, but she cant without going the distance. her words are not enough in the boards opinion. i really feel sorry for her and the husband.


thread is dead.


Chris

Damn, this thread had almost fallen off the front page.

Please refrain from further posting on this thread unless you have some truly new information to add. The OP has all the information he needs to make a decision, and everything else is just belaboring the point. Please let the thread die.

The sad thing is there isn't divorce in the Philippines only annulment which takes a couple 1000 bucks.
If the pinay was telling the truth and it was truely rape and the OP truely loves the lady and wants her to have a decent life she is pretty much screwed in being able to move on with her life as it looks like the OP is broke and can't help her in anyway.
There is no way the average Filipina can afford an annulment.
Bottomline is is not to marry in the Philippines if you are short on money and can't finish what you started.
Lots of married pinay in PI have been "hung out to dry" when visas were denied.
Guys can get a divorce easily in the US and move on with their lives.
One click on the computer and the pinay is history.
Fiance visas are the "safest" way to go for all concerned.

is rape a common thing in the phillapeans? someone else here had the same story a while back...wife raped and now pregnant by rapist. dont remember how it turned out tho.

I believe somewhere in this thread the guy said his wife was denied. I do agree with others though, there isn't much more advice we can give Dave accept for his wife maybe having a consultation with an immigration lawyer.