what is that supposed to mean?

always around to cause trouble i see. get a life.

It's their party and they' ll cry if they want to, cry if they want to...You would cry too if it happened to you.

its definatly hard when you see others get a visa and you dont... I'm sure it stirs up emotions.. But i think Doodle has been in a sad funk for alot longer than when Sparrow posted her message

Shoot... i'm sure most the people here are pissed I got my visa so quickly.. and it was a complete waste given my situation.

I just hate to see one person's good news become another person's pity party. I have said it many times on hereand I know it's hard not to do but try try try not to compare cases between eachother. It doesn't help anything.

You are quite wrong actually- I think it's important for everyone to remember that each case is different and that one person might get their visa in a week and another in a year and that we have no idea why that is. I know from experience also that it is hard not to compare cases but it is vital to one's sanity.

I'll go ahead and ignore the "get a life" part of your post. I know you didn't mean it.

I'm going to bite my tongue on this one. Have a nice day Sarah!!!

What is there to bite your tongue about? I am trying to help you out but you can't see that.

No I can't. I have every right to let off steam in here if I miss my husband. This is a visa support group and it's quite normal to have feelings of despair when you cannot be with your husband on your birthday. Sparrow got her visa and I'm happy for her and congratulated her. This thread is not about her at all.

Illegal---Shakira

Who would have thought
That you could hurt me
The way you've done it?
So deliberate, so determined

And since you have been gone
I bite my nails for days and hours
And question my own questions on and on

So tell me now, tell me now
Why you're so far away
When I'm still so close

You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

I tried so hard to be attentive
To all you wanted
Always supportive, always patient
What did I do wrong?
I'm wondering for days and hours
It's clear, it isn't here where you belong

Anyhow, anyhow
I wish you both all the best
I hope you get along

But you don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

When did I tell you that you can't or shouldn't let off steam on here? Of course you should and you have every right to. Everyone on here has missed their fiance or husband at some point in time so we all understand what you are going through. This is the place for everyone to share their ups and downs. I'm only trying to give you some sound advice and it's unfortunate that you can't see that.

Suddenly, I'm thinking of two more old songs,' Go Away, Little Girl' and ' Try A Little Tenderness ' .

here's your sign

Hey Jabree, I was just thinking of the same two songs! Twinsies!

I think it is hard I mean impossiblle for ANYONE to understand what it like to be in AP for months unless they have been in AP for months. Somtimes its best just to say nothing

I don't think so.

Never have I claimed to know what it is like to be stuck in AP.

Once again I am trying to give Doodle some advice. I am not trying to be mean, I am just trying to give her advice because it's clear that she has been down lately.

I know what it's like to be apart and I know how hard it is. The reason that I am sharing what I think is because it really helped me stay on track during our visa process, that's all.

I think they specifically hire people that have NO COMPASSION!

I wrote a letter to our State Congress Rep, Sue Myrick. She is currently pushing heavy legislation to combat illegal immigration. I explained that there are THOUSANDS of people trying to do it the "legal" way and we are subjected to insane costs and lengthy processing times. I asked how does this current method encourage people to follow the legal path of immigration.

Do you think I've heard from her??????

Sorry but this does not look like someone giving advice. It's all in the delivery. Perhaps if instead of posting this you posted what you said above it I wouldn't have reacted the same way.



Did Rome update their list yet?

I didn't say that my first post was giving advice. I thought it was a strange coincidence and in my other posts I shared with you what helped me through our process.

Wow...just wow!!!! And your caustic remarks sure are helping???????

How rude!

Just because I had good news yesterday/today doesn't mean I will have good news tomorrow. My grandmother is dying in the hospital and while Ramy has his visa he won't be here soon enough. She's going for surgery tomorrow or Thursday (and then she'll have a second surgery the next day) and there's a very high chance she won't make it. We're supposed to be happy but instead we kind of argued about when he's coming because he told me now he needs about a month to finish up his business, pack, and leave, but if my grandmother dies I don't want to go to another funeral without him (we lost a friend of ours from high school in June to an atv accident). Yesterday I cried almost the whole way from the hospital to my dress fitting because a part of me knows she'll never see it and I'm her only grandchild.

I wasn't going to post in here at all till I saw I was brought up but if you need a pity party then you need a party with chocolates and movies and friends in a large flat in Egypt with a cow in the kitchen! And if you just need to talk, well then you need to talk.

Doodle is right, VJ is pretty much visa process support but I want to add that it's through this board that we make friendships and when we hit rough spots--divorce, pets, family members dying-- that have nothing to do with visas, we're there for each other, even if we've never met in person. It might not seem like much but it really does mean a lot.

No they haven't. I'm just checking everyday now. Their website still says August 30th! WTF! This is all really starting to have a physical effect on me. My stomach stays in constant knots so I haven't been eating much. I keep forgetting everything because my mind is not with it. In the whole 3 1/2 years, I don't ever remember it being this bad. Sure I was nervous during his interviews, but maybe it's because this is it. I swear if when the list is updated and it still shows that his case is waiting a decision, I'm going to loose it.

And let me just say Doodle, you have EVERY right to feel the way you do. It doesn't matter if someone has been waiting 6 months or 6 years! The feelings of despair are awful for all of us. Most of us here really do celebrate when someone gets their visa because we are happy that their nightmare is over. And that same bunch of us will be here to rally around those that are struggling with the process or get bad news.

Just hang in there girlie! You have to believe in the love that you two share and KNOW that it's going to carry you through!

Out of all due respect Sarah, and these are my opinions and feelings only which may not amount to a hill of beans, but after many occasions, your comments have come across as rather harsh and hurtful, even though they weren't directed at me. I understand that everyone has their own style of communicating. What I find most disturbing, however, is even when numerous posters have commented to you about something you've said as being hurtful in one way or another, your usual response is along the lines of trying to help them or you're trying to show them the truth. I have to admit that if I look hard enough, I can see where you may be coming from occasionally, however, there are many others here that are able to help and be truthful without being hurtful. I know that you've commented on other threads about how women are treated or being abused and that you can't understand how they end up or stay in those situations. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I feel that many many times your comments come across as being abusive to me to these women or to others in those threads as well. I find it quite unnerving how you comment on how you don't understand being abused, yet you are abusing them at the same time with your words. Again, these are my opinions and feelings only and they may or may not have anything to do with what is really going on. Again, I meant nothing in disrespect.

Can I join the party? I will bring my own box of kleenex if the others ran out, and a big gallan of chocolate ice cream. I will cry with you and understand the pain of your tears in your moment of sadness and when the time comes for you be happy when you get the good news i will be happy for you too. Sisters sometimes a good long cry to let it all out makes you feel so much better, and there is nothing wrong with that. This song goes out to you!

I'm boogyin' down over here now! lol

Exactly everything that glitters is not gold. We had our visa in seven weeks and I definitely felt some hateration when it became known. That is not to say that just because it was seven weeks for us,does not mean that those seven weeks were not difficult because they were,but can I compare myself to say Tamara and Adam or Becky and Sam etc? Hell to the na'll because it did not take us a heartbreaking amount of time. My best advice is when you get your visa either keep it to yourself and or tell people who will genuinely feel happy for you and not be resentful. I am sorry I just do not believe it is a natural reaction. My brother in law's wife finally interviewed in Cairo this week and she got her visa the day of!!!!! Was I upset? No because I was happy for them and she was one less person having a horrible wait at Cairo. But do I think it was right? No,but still I am happy she and her child will be reunited with her husband in the US. Nevertheless it did not stop me from calling a couple of people here and saying this is not right! Still, I was glad for her. I don't think Sarah is off the mark. Sorry,I think she makes a good point.



Nagishkaw, how's that good news feeling right about now So happy for you!

Sparrow I hope your grandmas ok.... I lost my grandpa in March and it was devastating. I know no words can help in a situation like this. Your really kind and have a great attitude. Keep me posted ok. Im really hoping the surgery goes well....

About the visa I truly am happy for you,,,, at the same time I feel so angry at Cairo for how unfair they are. Your visa coming so fast is just such a blatant reminder of how unfair a system is and leaves the one's stuck in "ap" to feel truly helpless. But thats not you.... I always feel like your an angel very kind and you just were blessed and I am happy for that.

It will all work out... Im sure your grandma will be happy just to hear the news your love is coming....

Again...where in this thread have I even mentioned Sparrow?????????? I congratulated her in her thread and am very happy for her. Why does her name keep getting involved in this thread?

It's my freakin' birthday and I'm upset that my husband is not with me, OK???????????????????????????? Perhaps I should check with Jodo and Sarah before I express my feelings from now on????

Give me a freakin' break.

Found it on YouTube -- no video, just the tune.

Grrrrr the speakers on this computer are CRAP -- no bass at all

You don't have to check with me because frankly I don't give a damn. I have my husband here and could not be happier. However, i will speak about what I felt at the time. Sarah is a big girl and if anyone can take care of herself, she can. Now, Have a good day for all of you still waiting, and I really wish all of you could get your visa as quickly as possible. Now off to spend the day with my hubby

I feel all warm and fuzzy.

thread police anyone?

wow just wow. im really sorry to say that we have some of the rudest people ive ever encountered on this board.

to all of the people still waiting to be reunited, hang in there it will happen, in the mean time, have ur party and dont mind the people that think they need to crash it because they feel their lives are just so damn perfect and have to pick on others, and form it as 'advice'

i know ive had my problems with some of you on this board, but ive always been here to offer a congratulations or a hug. ill continue to be here, supporting.

Im glad you liked it doodle.

Doodle dont worry about your hair. It is normal to shed 50 to 80 hairs a day.

i think i lose that off my back in just one night

happy birthday doodle its ok try and feel better

Ignore insensitive comments ... obviously for people to be so mean they have thier own personal demons

hehe my pity party is due to MAJOR PMS & emotionally feeling quite lonely without my husband here with me, & dealing with a stressful work situation ... while I have NO family whatsoever in this wonderful state of Georgia
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOODLEBUG ... I really love that nickname... if Im correct... back in the day when I was kid I think I called them rolleypolleys??? I used to sit down and move them away from any ants or bugs bcz I thought they were the best things in the world and should be kept away from anything harmful... I was a very helpful kid huh
SPARROW... Im praying for you and your family... God give you more grace to handle each day & congrats on ur fiancees visa...

Soon Adam will get his Movement Certificate then we can send that in with his passport then hopefully he gets his visa 10 days after that...

Dayum......

Doodlebug - I remember very well how grueling it was to be waiting in AP. That for me was the hardest part of the entire visa process. We waited 28 days after the interview and I don't know how anyone handles waiting longer than that. I was a wreck waiting out those days. It just felt so up in the air. Some get called in a matter of days and some got called months later. Not knowing which one of those I was going to be was torture. My emotions were all over the place. I tried to stay as positive as I could but I still had my moments.

Do whatever you need to do to get through this time. It's one of the most stressful times that you can go through. And when you get the call, and YOU WILL GET THE CALL, it will be the sweetest moment you can imagine.

Happy Birthday to you!! Is it me or do birthdays not really have the excitement that they used to anyway?!

Well it's kind of exciting I guess. lol.

I know what you mean 'cause it doesn't have that magic that it used to have. Even when I was married the first time it was a big deal and all that. It's really sucked the past four years for whatever reason something has always come up so I just thought this year would be special. It is though I'm trying to look on the bright side of things.............1) a birthday during Ramadan *is* special, 2) I started wearing hijab fulltime about a week and a half ago which *is* special, etc. etc.

I was gonna put this in the thread earlier but I got distracted... ....but when I'm down like this it does help to make a gratitude list. It just is hard getting it started but once I get going I do feel a little better.

1) I have my health
2) I have my children (who are healthy)
3) I have a loving husband
4) My cat is awesome
5) My job rocks (normally)
6) I love living on the ocean
7) My friends rock (both here and out in the real world if you know what I mean)
8) I'm having chocolate cake with whipped cream frosting tonight
9) I have God in my life (ok this should have been number one...)
10) My bills are paid on a somewhat timely basis

I don't see anything wrong with this thread at all. Doodle is just venting and I don't see why there is being a connection made to sparrow.

First of all, as someone already mentioned, she has been quite upset for some time now. Secondly, Sparrow has already posted that she has not taken any offense at all to this thread. So what is the issue exactly?

Doodle is also down about other things besides the visa. I don't think a little compassion is too much to ask for. She isn't the first or the last person who has vented about the visa or other more personal issues affecting his or her life. Speaking as a survivor (just barely some days) of the visa process, it's NOT easy. Especially long AR/AP. Ours was a little over 4 mos. if you include security checks. I started freaking about two weeks in. It's just not an easy thing to go through. It's the hardest part of the process, hands down.

Try to enjoy your birthday tonight and have a extra large piece of that cake.

mmmmmm cake.

J
if ya got my number, it would be a good night to call me.

I am so sorry about your Grandmother sparrow!! I know the pain of losing friends and family members and not having your SO/husband with you. Since the time we started this visa process my brother was killed in a tragic accident (but he was currently undergoing treament for terminal cancer so I think this was a blessing that God took him from any more suffering) and my really good friend here at work committed suicide. This kind of a loss along with trying to get your future husband/husband here is a great emotional everything, ups, downs, depression, joy. Dealing with them alone is very very hard.

I hope that your grandmother can make it and have some recovery before your wedding and be there for you. I will pray that Ramy can get here in time and your grandmother can see you get married.

I appreciate the support and comfort that I have gotten here on VJ and don't believe that anyone would begrudge someone getting their visa before another and I see that everyone is always happy when there is a visa issued to anyone...............but it doesn't make the waiting for those of us that are still in AP any easier!!! We aren't in control of who is giving out visas.... and we can only support those that are waiting and congratulate those that have gotten theirs!!

Sarah's 'problem' is that she waited for like 8 days for a visa and has no concept of what being on AP is like. It is not the same as the rest of the visa process, because you have guidelines on how much time to expect to wait for an NOA1 or an interview..you get timelines that are generally an accurate guide. But AP is hell when it extends beyond a month and you watch others go faster from the same embassy. You don't know if you'll get the call tomorrow or next week or next year! Only someone who has waited can really understand. BUT even if she didn't understand, she could have kept her assumption (that doodle was upset because of sparrow) to herself.

It is truly amazing how fast some people here forget about all those times spent chatting and encouraging and helping eachother during the visa process. Unbelievable.

It's beautiful.