No I didn't forget. I also didn't forget your action during the AP Process, when I could have used your support the most.

That was your misunderstanding that got blown out of proportion.

wow just wow

i guess its time for the first "ladies, please its ramadan post" for those of you that remember last years ramadan police.

It just amazes me over and over how Sarah is everyone's little whipping dog. How did she become the bad guy anyway? Am I the only one around here who remembers that it was Sarah who was the most knowledgable abotu Casa, Sarah who chatted with everyone off line. Gave the best advice around here.

I think everyone should go back and read through this thread and see who really blew this out of proportion. The same instigators who love to trash her. Carrying around old grudges ..flaming the fires.

Yes Sarah posted something to doodle, but you know what doodle and Sarah can handle the disagreement jsut fine. They resolved alot of their disagreements and were moving to a place on this board where they could co-exisit. Think doodle responded quite well to Sarah and that is where it shuld have been left.

If everyone would actually try to see the truth here rather than believe the gossipy pms that go around, if everyone would just make a small effort not to take things so personally, jump n the bandwagon, none of this would have happened today.

So what if you and Sarah do not get along...why drag everyone on this board into it. Why carry around your baggage and misunderstandings and look at Sarah as your scaegoat for all that is wrong.

If you on this board knew half of what I know, ..maybe its time i blow the whistle on the whole lot of it...all the backbiting and gossip, the false identies, the fake friends tryingto get info from others to then spread more gossip around.

And Maggie- only you, sarah and I know what happened between us. I think you have forgotten some parts of the story.

Maybe its time for my VJ manifesto...a little spring cleaning..air out the festering soiled muck!

don't rest on your laurels - you'll wrinkle them

Ok dragging my miserable self to studio class.... I'll be back to moan "Waleeeeeed I miss you" more later.

your own signature is so clear BUT i wish you did it and say ['Sorry, got these sacks ] instead of trying to "help" this time !

My signature is a Jack Handey quote from SNL so I really have no idea what you are even talking about. Thanks.

If it makes anyone feel any better, I would like to just get through USCIS.. being on AP would be an approvement since I messed up my first petition, had to file this one and then my 129 f got kicked back and now I am at the service center from hell with a 192 day wait time for an I130 and no chance of filing a 129f because the lawyer messed up. Things happen. I seem to be a magnet for drama and weird messed up stuff... But that makes life an adventure... I think I am the only one who misses planes and looks for the deeper meaning behind everything..

There is a really good movie called SLIDING DOORS about how a missed train can change your whole life.

Some things happen, some dont. I have a little girl right now that if everything would not have happened bad to me that did would not be here. This little girl got here after years of battering and about every disappointment in life that could happen. I always say she was my present for all I went through.. This is Zahra

IMG]http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k135/kwoolr/lancebirthday020.jpg[/IMG]

~~ sigh
Ladies should we have an AP prayer? Im sure we all pray but I think there might be something in the power of prayer. All of our voices where ever we are in this world praying at the same time for this cause. What if we all agree to pray at a certain time for all that are waiting and enduring this nightmare? I really wish I had more encourageing words for every one, but honestly I dont know what else to say or do to make things better because this process is so hard for all of us. I think we have all lost a few brain cells in this AP nightmare not knowing when it will end. Maybe our unity in praying for this will direct our AP troubles into a little more possitive action. Doing something is better than nothing. I think the more voices the better. Maybe we can have an AP prayer list and any one who wants us to pray for them can requests to be put on our AP prayer list. Any one intrested?

Great idea!!! I have thought this before... count me in

i'm not surprised that you don't have any idea what i'm talking about , coz i wasn't surprised at the first place when i saw that you didn't have any idea what anybody here in this thread was talking about !

I know nothing about you and I find it very interesting that you know enough about me to pass such judgements. My signature is A JOKE and I think it is funny. Who are you?

i don't know any thing about you either , only your post here in this thread and your signature "the JOKE"

i'm someone in the AP hell for more than 4 months .
and fortunately i don't carry two sacks .. i make sure to have a free hand most of the time to help anyone even before he asks for my help .

Ok WATER I guess its just you and me for now. Start a thread for who ever wants to be added to our AP prayer list. Hopefully more ladies will join us. Its these times when we should come together instead of a fall out. I think this can be something really good for every one. Lets transform our neggative AP energy into a positive one.

I'm sorry but I just don't think you get it. My signature is a quote from the comedy show "Saturday Night Live" and I thought it sounded funny. It doesn't mean that I always carry two sacks so that I don't have to help anyone. I think you're reading a bit too far into this. That's very nice of you to help others before they even ask you.

I'm sorry that you have been in AP for 4 months. Good luck.

I carry 4 sacks, that way I can hand them out to those with only one.

Hey Sarah, sup girl?

Jackie

I love that movie Sliding Doors with Gwenyth Paltrow. It really did make all the difference when I lost my first Jeff. It helped put things into perspective for me.

sparrow - my heart is w/u regarding your gm - so very hard.....doodle - enjoy that cake - - everyone else the separation is very hard and this process is such a challenge - - I think its important that we can all support each other - share in good news - such as Sparrow's Ramy getting his VISA - and as well to be there for other who are still waiting to be reunited...some are still waiting for NOA2, interviews, AP - - each part of the process quite difficult, however I do believe (although I have not experienced it personally may I add YET) the AP/AR because there is no clear time frame....I think it is normal to get down during this process...I have my days, and at the same time, for me it is important to focus on the positive (much like you did Doodle in one of ur posts!!) because we all will be reunited one day as wife_of_mahmoud stated - - one day - and it is part of the process and quite normal to be sad when you cant be with your SO - - hang in there folks....we can get through this together.............

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being Loved by someone deeply gives you courage. May all of you who are going thru the trial of the visa process draw upon the strength and courage of your love to get you thru this so that someday you will be together again.

The best and most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller

I know its hard. Try and Hang in there, in time this will pass!

Wow. This thread really took off since yesterday.

Here comes my pitiful thread, and my opinions # 2388-2517!

Sparrow: Are we jealous of you? YES, I am. But, I don't think that takes away from our excitement about your visa success. I am excited for you and I wish I was you at the same time!
And, I am very sorry about your grandmother.

Doodle: Threads get started every day about someone feeling bad or upset or depressed from miles away. Your thread is not in direct relation to sparrow's story. Each success, interview, denial, or other step posted here can make us think again about our own situation. Heck, even a song, scent, or memory can have that effect. Too many coincidences to make note of there. I am sorry that your birthday week/day was spent without your husband. But, I am so glad that you are celebrating another year of your life and you continue to nurture your love for God.

Sarah: I have read some of the earliest MENA threads here, and your posts seemed to have more compassion in them when you first joined (my POV). I don't know what that means, except that maybe it wasn't always your style to write things in the most direct or blunt manner. Maybe your writing style changed, maybe you stopped trying to please everybody, or maybe you were shy at first and later started expressing yourself more sincerely. I am not sure. But, I did see that when you first joined VJ, you had some familiar complaints about behavior in this forum/on this board. Why do people have to be so rude? Why do people treat the new kids like crap? ((not direct quotes from you Sarah, just overall atmosphere in some of last year's threads)) I guess I just want to say, I know that you know where most of us are coming from in this forum. That's why your posts are important. Because of your experiences.

I am trying my best not to make anyone sound right or wrong. Cause I, personally, can see all sides to just about any argument. And, I definitely can see each person's POV in this thread.

I think it all comes down to perception and delivery (like doodle said!). ALL of us don't have it in us to sugarcoat the truth NOR to forcefeed it to people. Different strokes!

Each perception of comments, and each person's delivery can be seen differently by almost all of us (especially because there are back stories and private matters that some of us are not aware of) so, I have learned not to always trust my first reading of a post. If I go back and read with a different tone or mindset, I may get a new meaning. That's what's so difficult about interpreting written messages. No voice, pitch, tone, hand gestures, facial expressions, or personal interaction to help you form the whole picture.

Was this post pitiful enough?? Do I sound desperate not to offend anyone? HAHAHAA

I wish I could spit out a well-written post without cutting, pasting, deleting, rewriting, and sometimes even losing my whole post! It takes so long to put something together. I think I am gonna stick to posting pics of hot hunks and pastries.

monnik I have to say that your case stumps me the most of all of them. For goodness sakes you're living there with your husband AND your husband and you are both Christian!!!! (right?) Not that religion should play a huge role but c'mon let's not beat around the bush since obviously muslim names are very common over there so there's got to be more name hits for them than for others.

Anyways with all you both have going for you I cannot for the life of me fathom why you haven't received the visa yet.....which totally leads me to conclude there is NO rhyme or reason to how Cairo operates.

Oh and yes that was THE MOST politically correct post that I've seen in a long time!!! Have you thought of taking up a career in politics?

We have red flags.
We met online (of course).
Our marriage was 11 days after my first visit to Egypt.

We didn't have a religious ceremony (mainly because we wanted to save money for the visa process and travelling back to USA, but that didn't work out too well. we have spent 5 times that much money just living here for a year!! later, we decided to get married with just a priest and get the certificate from the church , but without the big party/dress/etc. even that fell through cause the priest thought he was using me or tricked me into getting married. if the priest didn't think our marriage was legit, what does the embassy think??? )

Also, I am 7 years older than him (which is not that much IMO, but considering that the Egyptian men usually get married at my age and they marry a girl who is his age- our relationship looks like a convenience rather than a norm). Also, his 3rd & 4th names are Arabian. Muslim or not?? I don't know. He said the names can be used for either, but that it's mostly for Muslims. (His uncle's name is Osama. Does that affect us in any way? ) There's a lot of ambiguity in the names. His first name is Christian, but everything else is a flip-flopper.

I can't think of a really good reason for the wait. I sit and try to think about anything from my past that may have hurt our chances. I feel guilty that I used to have a lot of Mexican, Guatemalan, & Pakistani friends who were in the US illegally; both overstays and illegal entry. I don't know how deep they dig into your friends/phone records/DMV/etc..... they could see some of my friends were immigration violators. Would that make a difference? Do I look like a person who is just going around trying to help people immigrate or assist violators????? I get all screwed up thinking about it.

I just thank God that I didn't have children, commitments, or any huge factors to keep me from moving to Egypt. I don't think my husband's heart would have been able to take it.

Yeah but even with those you STILL are living there you know? I would think that would negate everything else. As for the age difference it's the same with us (7 yrs) but I don't really consider anything within 10 years either way that big of a gap. That's just me though. My limit used to be that a guy can be 10 yrs older or 5 yrs younger but I guess I stretched it a bit this time. lol.

I don't think they look into the USC past except to see if you have any criminal background. I would hope that my phone records, etc. aren't being digged into without my consent!!!! Don't get me wrong, I'd gladly sign anything letting them look but without my consent that is just wrong in a country that is supposedly the land of the free.

NICE TO SEE NOTHING HAS CHANGED (NOT) so i dont feel like im missing to much doodle its your party cry if you want, i believe it was sparrow, hope your grandma gets better

I hope your day gets here soon! Time goes by so fast; it only drags when you're waiting for something.

Happy Belated Birthday.

I can't believe some of the comments here that were done in a way that was intended to hurt, but i won't comment on them, cause i see them as malicious and i will simply ignore and not direct any comment to a specific user name because they simply don't matter and certainly don't count, especially in this topic.


Doodle!!! I read about the hair problem, and what a coincidence, this weekkkkk (by the way i've been so, depressed, crying almost every day) that i've noticed my hair comes out in bunches too!! I don't know if it's because i'm stressed out or because i'm fasting, or a combination of both??!! I told my Akram about this and asked him: "will you still love me if my head starts looking like yours? ...We're still together and as strong as ever, so I guess you know his answer to my question

Let's keep our fingers crossed, our faith strong, and unite in prayer that all of us don't have to wait much longer. May God surround us with His blessings especially in these tough times that we're apart from our loved ones, inshaAllah and Ameen.

Hugs,

Ayesha

I think it is a combo of stress, fasting and wearing hijab since now I put my hair in a ponytail before covering it whereas before I never put my hair up in a pony. Took me a while to figure that out though! The last time I saw that much hair come out was right after I gave birth!

Oh my God, I think you're right! I HAVE been putting my hair up in a pony also and then instead of letting the ponytail hang, i make it into a bun, before putting on the hijab. ughhh, so I guess it's the whole combo that's creating all this hair loss, which, by the way, in NO WAY helps my depression. Ah well, I'll just wait till maghrib and buy a double fudge chocolate cake for that midnight snack

QUOTE(ayesha4akram @ Sep 26 2007, 10:06 AM)

Is that you NOT commenting? I assume you are referring to me, and my comment were not meant to hurt anyone and were not malicious in any way whatsoever. Thank you though.

NO comment. Have a nice day!

You would think that I could get some kind of credit for that.....but, they don't give a flip. I actually am not freaking out about the time that we have been waiting because we just finished the cosponsor papers in August. So, it's like we've only been waiting 5 or 6 weeks.

And, just to let you know how freaky the government is:

I helped a friend of mine during a deportation process in 2005. He was Mexican and overstayed a temporary visitor's visa. He had a court date and had to sign in with DHS every week until his court date to keep tabs on him. I used to drive him to the sign-ins cause he didn't have a license and the office was in a city he wasn't familiar with.

Anyway, one day, while waiting in the lobby for him to finish his sign in, a guy popped his head out the door and asked me my name. I told him my FIRST name only. And, his next question was "Do you know any Pakistanians?" What the hay!!????!!@! I hope that was not just a routine conversation starter for that office. Cause it was weird and uncomfortable. I said NO by the way. But, I used to be really good friends with a family from 1999-2003. Then, we lost contact. So, technically, I didn't know any at the time, but I wonder how much they really know about me, you know????? Especially since they were already investigating my NEW friends because of the deportation. SCARY!!!!

thats is freaky

Well I am going to weigh in with a different opinion. Yes sometimes the brutality of some of the comments on the boards gets to me but I think I have decided to err in favor of the people that have been here for a while. I cannot possiblly imagine that someone who has their husband already here and that their process went quickly could have any idea of the agony I am going through with a failed first petition and having to start all over 7 months over from scratch. I cannot even do a K3 because my lawyer messed up with the submission of our 129f, not sending it with the check ( and I still do not know where my money order is in all of this) but I cannot cry over things that have already happened. I am severely depressed at the Cr1 times showing up out of CSC. I am sad and frankly not even if someone from visa journeys mena board came over to my house and cleaned it , would I feel any better. I do know one thing. Absolutely no one any where else can relate to this agonizing wait except the women from here so as far as I am concerned, I am not going to do a hell of alot to piss them off. I don't agree with alot of the posters. I have certain very strong dislikes for certain MENA countries ( and should have done more to hide those venement feelings) I am strongly favoring North Africans to be honest with you because of a dismal set of horrific experiences with a man from the Middle East ( if I see molokhia or any food that is REMOTELY stuff he used to eat I gag) Thats just me. I have very strong opinions about all kinds of things that may or not be ascinine ( did I spell that right.. where is Peezy when I need her?) I have stated them and have pissed off several people here... I am sorry I am close minded about certain MENA countries but I have deep seated reasons personally for being like that and I have tried to get over these prejudices but not with much luck ( he and I the mena man from hell have been apart for 4 years and I still have scummy reminders of him every few months, a bill , a problem, a gremlin from his past OH I HATE HIM and I have never hated another human being. I hate his family. His friends and his food.. If I hear any song that we used to listen to I wretch. I HATE HIM.

But as much as I hate him, I adore the man I am with now. When I start talking about this guy and where he is from he fills me full of stories about people from that country that live in Algeria that piss him off too and I do not feel so bad.

As far as JENN and SARAH, I think they are ok.. Sarah you have not really gone after me too badly so I really dont know ( maybe I will try to do something to piss you off so you do) Peezy is just plain smart. Wife of Mahmoud has actually lived overseas which is impressive although I do not share her views I respect her. Doodle bug is spirited. Deemabrouk seems like she is trying to process things. There are many others on here who seem very entertaining, some shy, some more vocal but all interesting in the least. I have some issues but like brussel sprouts , you either love or hate me ( there does not seem to be an in between with me although through my life some who have hated me ended up liking me after they got through being pissed off at me.

My history of my family takes my mother and father through Morocco ( my mother is berber but not Moroccan) and their lives there and all over Europe have left indelible impressions on my heart and soul. I am far too sensitive. Impulsive and crazy sometimes. But I walk with my heart in my hands and that led me to the wilds of Algeria..

I want this to be a place I can come every day and talk because I sure as hell cannot tell anyone else in the real world how bad I am suffering ( immensely) I am grieving the loss of my husband and I do not know if we will survive this long and painful journey. But I would not take one kiss back, one day back.,, I would not take back our arguements, the good things , the bad things,,,, not one memory I made with him. I love and loved him in a fearless way... the fearless and passionate way that "mena" love and live. I have not one time felt jealousy over someone else getting approved with the exception of some of the DCF Algeria filers who did not have to endure ANY OF THIS and cannot possibly know what I am going through waiting 7 months to get married to only have to file again and again. I am angry we could not DCF. I am angry I had to refile, I am angry that the one thing in my life that I want.. the only thing that I want is to be with my husband.. That all other things seem like nothing to me. I want to sleep with him at night. I want to talk to him each day. I want to argue with him. Make up with him.. Live somewhere with him in the good and the bad so badly that I wish I could close the doors of my little house and disappear not caring what happens to the furniture or my car or anything else for that matter. Living alone without him just is not living. So I really give a rat's ### about being jealous of other people or looking for bad things in others because I am too busy trying to get through each day at my job and take care of my children and somehow medicate my self into actually sleeping ( has not been working lately,... I guess sleep all stops being affective after 2 weeks) I am sad damn it. I am sad damn it.. I want to be with him and the toll of the wait has been huge. Will he still love me come December? Will anything be left of us after a year ( new years) and I still do not have an NOA2.. Then the next hurdle is NVC and how ever many months there.. and I havent even thought about AP.. Too much already. I need a cheeseburger NOW> NOW NOW

Um, thanks?

now i havent laughed this hard is a long time.

troublemaker

Hahaha me neither since yesterday when that guy thought my SNL quote meant that I was literally carrying two sacks so that I didn't have to help anyone.

It's no secret I read threads here sometimes in MENA, and have commented in them before.

When these issues occur between some ppl, I then read how people don't really know things or know people, and shouldn't jump all over them or single them out. etc.

But if, like me, you don't know everything behind the scenes, and just read what is posted here, it's easy to see why people get irritated at some of the things written by some people. Things can be worded different and come across an entirely different way. Sarah might have meant good, though I don't even know b/c I don't know her well or most of the ppl in MENA, but she could have easily worded things differently in this thread. It didn't look like she only meant well in her first post in the thread, from an outsiders perspective. If someone won't take the time to think about how to word something before pressing the post button, then they will get some kind of natural backlash. Then they are defended, when their words sound pretty rude, because "you just don't know them like I do" or something. True, I don't know them, and so I can only see how they post things, and draw a conclusion from that. I've seen ppl's rude posts be defended by others with that statement many times.

I don't get the gossipy PMs about MENA that you are mentioning, I have seen just what is posted usually. And if someone wants to be thought of a different way, they have to reflect that in their posts out in the open not just behind the scenes.

ETA: I do agree it'd be better for Sarah and Doodle to discuss it themselves, and resolve it, and then doodle could ask ppl not to comment on the issue anymore for reconciliation sake. But we do have to remember when someone is already upset, things not meant to be rude will look even more rude than usual. So both sides can try to realize why the other side feels the way they do.

WOw.. did your fingers cramp after that?

Actually NO. Sometimes when I get on a role I just keep typing and typing and typing and I cannot stop. ahhahaah

Well seriously folks, I don't know what has come over me the last couple of days. I have been feeling really like I cannot focus on outside stuff. I just watch the timeline 2 3 4 times a day and feel sad, hoping that a bunch of other people will get approved en masse. Wondering how the hell my friend who has petitioned and given green cards to 2 different men actually applied for an I130 on May 1 and already has an approval out of SCS as of August 20th.. Not fair ..not fair.,, Wondering how my husband and I are going to hold up through this sad lonely process. Other peoples bull&*&** doesnt seem too important to me. I don 't care about catty stuff.. I just want my husband here. I don't know what to do than just trudge through the months.. waiting for this approval or that approval and I don't even have the benefit of the 129f as a side option. I am stuck with this trudging Cr1 and no other way out. I miss him so much and it just seems as if I cannot get a break. I am dying here at this stupid job. I miss him. I just wanna chuck everything out the window and go there.. but where would I work? Who would pay my mortgage here? I dont wanna be here anymore. This is no way to live. But I dont seem to have much of a choice


By the way Jenn and Sarah you are lumped together because you are both married to moroccans and both of you have your husbands here.. Thats why I lump you. Its called the moroccan wives with husbands here and my back pages is in that group except she has that little pig tailed girl in her logos and your two logos have more white in them.

And no I am not lumping you for any other reason .. I just have a hard time keeping track of people so its sarah and jenn. And the reason I commented on people is because there was a lot of negativity flying around.

I personally do not think I will have a mena slumber party because I am not well liked around here but I certainly can hope by the time my husband gets to NVC that I have a few friends anyway

CHEERS

ummm...it's Bubbles, one of the powerpuff girls

you know what !
that's really funny and SAD in the same time how some people like you think of people from other countries ......
since i'm from Egypt that doesn't mean i haven't watch some of SNL (Saturday Night Live).. thanx GOD for the satellite and the open skies .
BUT to me ... when someone is using a ( QUOTE ) somehow it reflex who they are .. as i'm not surprise that yet you couldn't see that as you still not able to see many other things .

Well everyone of my Moroccan friends is friendly and a bit BLUNT so maybe she picked up a Moroccan JINN on her last visit. Maybe Aicha Kandisha stays up late and the JINN goes in her underwear drawer and moves all her undies around


A BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG JINNNNNNNIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
kat

About your slumber party, it's ok if it is just you and me in there, I will stay up with you.

Jackie
hey Jenn! your ok

Well Jenn has never elicited any bile from my throat so ok is the word she gets...

And thank you Jackie for agreeing to do a slumber party with you. I'll do your taxes for free. I am really good.


well the rate CSC is going , I dont know wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen I will ever get an NOA2 so dont worry it wont be anytime soon.

And I want you to have a new honey by then and not be worried about me too much...... If I ever get there ( can you tell I am losing HOPE?)