is direct consular filing only if both live in the country and want to move to america?? or can you use dcf if you go visit your husband in the country for a month and then have him come back with you?

You must both reside in the foreign country when filing the I-130 abroad. Some countries used to be very lax about length and type of residency and others very strict, but as of about March/April this year, you should have 6 months residency in the foreign country (unless you have extreme and unusual circumstances). It would not work to just visit for a month or even six months if you do not have unusual and extreme circumstances - it should be six months residency.

ok thank you for the information!

The consulate at Sydney explained that you have to be living in the place together for at least six months in order to take advantage of DCF. I had the same idea until they crushed hopes!