hi i am diane and i am married to dirk he is currently back in germany awaiting for me to begin our k3-k4 process. he has a daughter who is five years old. he has main custody of her.. the mother visitations. but the mother hardly ever takes her. its been 5 months since she saw her last. anyway dirk has told me that in german law when the father has laws for the child and main custody laws he can move where he wants with her ect. without the mother having to sign anything...
but from what i read the for the k4 visa the other parent must sign a paper stating she gives permission for this child to leave the country... has anyone gone through this situation or know if this is right? i personally believe this childs mother would never sign not because she loves her and wants her in her life but because she would make things ###### for my husband...

It is not necessarily just german law that you need to only be worried about... A quick e-mail to the consulate might be the best source for this answer

dirks lawyer told him from his side in germany he is fine with his custody laws. its america that is asking on the k4 for this paper i have heard. that is why i was curious as to if anyone here has had to have a signed paper on this side for a k4 visa....

I needed a signed and notarised letter from my son's father giving his permission for our son to move to, and reside permanently in, the USA. He has no parental responsibility yet the US Embassy needed his consent before it would issue the visa.

I am confused when you say a signed paper from this side...

We had to get a signed/notarized paper before the consulate would issue the visa for my stepson.... As I said before, it is not just German law you are dealing with here. You are dealing with rules and procedures promulgated in the USA. Some of these rules and procedures may be waivable... I highly doubt (knowing the stance on parental rights) that this is one....

I'm also interested in this for the future, when I need to bring over my own son.

According to the law in my country his father has no legal rights. I do not have a custody arrangement but his father has never been involved in his life and resides in a different country. However his name is on my sons birth certificate.

Is there any way around this requirement for a letter giving permission? For one thing, I'm not sure I can even locate his father, for another he has no legal right, and no interest in our child, I doubt he'd even want to bother signing anything.

oh sorry i guess i worded that wrong! what i meant by "this side" is it is more america being strict and asking for it then germany laws .... according to german custody laws dirk could move with his daughter without the mother signing anything... but america "this side of things" want more as usual....

It appears that you cannot document then document this custody arrangement and I believe that it will be problematic for you. Most of the time when a signed/notarized document cannot be secured then a court order of parental abandonment (or something to that effect) is typically needed. I cannot stress enough but to ask your consulate for guidance..

Ack... I'll get in touch with the consulate. This could indeed be a problem as the Family Court has told me that they won't give a notice of custody solely to me as legally I already have sole custody. It appears to be the only thing I can do is ask to transfer legal guardianship to my parents (his stepfather is ineligible due to not being in the country!) and then perhaps have them sign to say I have permission to take my son with me.