I think the weirdest one I can remember of the top was that blow dryers and hooded dryers give women brain cancer. This guy my sis met on our first trip to Jamaica was always busy recording himself talk. Well, she listened to some of them one afternoon, and he had all kind of ramblings about his findings and data on this very subject. He stated that he was paid very well for his tapes of wisdom, and all of Jamaica loved to hear his voice.

I love eating limes...without salt...just the lime. I have been told over and over that my "nature" did strong...and den the man would look me up and down and lick his lips like I was a plate of brown stew chicken. Some others have told me not to eat lime because it will cut your nature.

Jawi,

Mi seh yuh mek mi bus out inna one DUTTY laugh!!! My whole office is looking at mi like mi mad!!!

Strangest saying I think I have eva heard is don't let nuh pus near a newborn baby...dem will steal it's breathe when dem sleep!

I can't really recall any this minute; but you guys are certainly entertaining me with yours. Oh, please keep them coming..............

Fi real Jomo..me too...
So u waan here mine....one day mi and di baby deh a JA and mi husband seh him feel like
duppy a bother the baby. So mi aunty seh U MODDA NEVA TELL U WAFI DO. I said noooo ! So my granny wid her out spoke n self..busted out "push up u finger inna u ***** and make a cross pon the baby forehead..I said wahh..u outta u mind...

OMG!!! Nuh...Oounuh haffi stop...right now!!! Mi a guh pee-pee miself!!! Mi seh tears are rolling down mi face wid laughter!!! Mi laff mi laff mi caan member deh lass time mi laff suh!!! ... ahhh bwoy, we Yardies is a CRAZY set a people!

Mi not even sure what the ***** stand fi Kimmy and I don't even TINK mi waan fi know!!!

Yu mean like "step on a crack, break your mama's bacK'...oh yeah, that's everywhere.
My sister once told me, she box duppy wid har left han'. Then my granpa, Nanku seh if yu eva meet up pon rolling calf yuh mus put a hat pon a stock and mek sure it taller than the rolling calf suh it don't kill yuh.
I used to love those duppy stories.

Mi modda...mi a rolll!!!! Ded wid laff....wwwwwoooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee....faaaaaaaadddddddaaa!!!!! Mi neckback! :lol

OMG..........it took me a minute to figure this one out. Now, I'm sorry I did.

N A S T Y...........that one is just plain nasty.

And, I'm going to get fired if I LOL like that again. (pssst........I told them the tears were from my allergies!)

I'm sorry I was gone so long. My baby called, and im vex cuz mi nuh lissen tuh im cuz mi laff afta oonu...so mi have fe turn hoff de computa.

Mi ago tell yuh wan...but yuh cyaan tell im sey mi tell oonu. Bout six monts ago im dive inna pool and misjudge de depth of de pool...so im lick im headfront tuh raas. Den im play socca bout tree monts time and lick de same spot inna a wall cuz im trip ova a pipe dere inna grung. Im complain nuff time tuh mi bout headache and ting. So mi ask im tuh tell mi de symptoms...mi try fe mek sure nuh migraine we deal wid. Mi feel sorry fe im all til now Hennyway...mi choke and cough try nuh fe bawl hout when im tell mi seriously im tink im have brain cancer now because of de licks.

Mi try fe ovastand why dem have so many theories bout ow brain cancer did dere. But mi laff til mi pop when we get off de phone. Mi knoa...mi his wicked doan?

Hahaaa....that's what i said to her

Mi neva get tuh ear duppy story cuz at de mere mentian of de wud duppy...grown man a bawl hout "DUPPY!!!!" Nuh SAR...mi nuh deal dem tings dere star...and dem rung gwaan...yeye dem spread like de riva Nile.

Laas time mi guh home, mi buy one book a duppy story. It nice yuh si!!!! Buy it inna Norman Manley airport.

No tell mi nuttin bout no duppy..mi too fraidy fraidy...mi toss and tun caan sleep no walk alone..dem ting deh

I have a request guys..........Could you not write so much in Patios? I'm having a tough time figuring out what you are trying to say.

I'm pretty fluent in speaking; just not writing.

Please........Please.....Please.....I don't want to miss something really funny, you know?

yep yuh Jamaican born and grow...

mi have wan block inna mi memory now...nuff tings mi coulden rememba...cha

When I was in JA one time I dropped coming up on the yard and it rained. Well instead of Javon picking me up and see if I was ok, he ran in the house and brought me some rum & lime. I said to him I'm not sick I drop.

Ooops...I'm sorry. I will try to do better.




Rooooolllliiinnn...rum and lime solves it all! LOL LOL

What is the deal with rum and lime? I've never seen something used so dang much to cure everything.

Thank you on the Patios part.

"Mi neva get tuh ear duppy story cuz at de mere mentian of de wud duppy...grown man a bawl hout "DUPPY!!!!" Nuh SAR...mi nuh deal dem tings dere star...and dem rung gwaan...yeye dem spread like de riva Nile. "

Jawi, yuh too dyam FUNNY! Mi buss out inna one dutty laff...is soooooo true...grown men will fly outta a room at the mere mention of dupppy (but mi fly out tuh!! - Cause dem naa leave mi one inna room wid the duppy storyteller )

SO I guess you're not on the borrow list Hush my dear. It was nice to hear them on a dark stormy night.
NO worries JG - I'll keep it to a minimum

Lord - what a tangent we went of on. I don't know how many of you know about Dovecot in Spanish Town. Well it so happens that my neighborhood is right next door. One of my best friends went walking in there with a boyfriend and some friends and somebody throw a stone, said it was a duppy and run leave har.

You can bring a Jamaican down to knees at the mention of ghost (duppy) and obeah (voodoo). Let a Jamaican man go in a closet and see his shoes lined up and one pair is Right and Left instead of Left and Right. He will toss the shoes and run cursing about obeah ting dat.

One friend of mine said her husband was so bad with the voodoo thing that she broke a plate while serving dinner. He picked it up tossed it and then proceeded to toss all the remaining food in the trash...talking about grown man won't eat what his foot bottam touched.

I have never heard of that!

Ohhh my!! That is just too damn funny!!!! He better be the same one to go right to the suppermarket and buy me my dinner back!!

Hahhaaa..I think i heard that b4....Jamaican men wil put their feet in their hands and run when u mention suppy

Now, see.....my husband is not really scared of them. He swears we have one in our apartment that he's seen. He's more reverant to them then scared.

My husband also has all these wierd saying for nightmares. If I dream this it means this and if I dream this it means that. I can't remember them all now....well, any of them right now....but I know every time I say, oh, I dreamed about this last night, he has this crazy explanation of what it really means.

Got any of those to share?

My sentiments exactly. Right after he nursed the big knot on his head from the empty pot. Let me put in a little disclaimer as well. We know NOT all JAMAICANS think this way. I should have same some or the one or two examples I have heard or experienced.

If you are building a house, be sure to construct the front door to face sunrise and the back door to face sunset, exactly opposite to each other.

And something to that same effect about when burying a dead body....what is that one again? And why?

LOL. My sweetie does that too. But, I can't recall them right now...all you can do is let them finish their theory and say okay baby. \o/

I found this one in the Gleaner.........I am rolling now!!!!!


If a pregnant woman scratches her body while yearning for something to eat, the baby will be born with a mark at that same spot and it may resemble the food the mother craved.

see? You will not hear that anywhere else but Jamaica.

If you dream about fish, that means someone is pregnant....and if you dream about a wedding, someone is going to die. Those are a few I have heard.

I remember as a teen, when I was doing things I shouldn't, I never wanted a lizard close to me, because they said if a lizard jumps on you, you were pregnant.

You are dyam right Jawi...Give 'im one lick upside 'im head wid the empty pot, Yes!

Anyway, Jawi I'm glad you started this thread...I got a DYAM good laugh from it!! You guys have a great day I'm out!! Check the thread later fi some more laughs!

Bless-Bless,

Gill

JG,
I think it has something to do with them (the dead) walking staright thru the house and not getting in and can't get back out cause they don't know how to exit...mi no know sumptin like that

Kimmy, I think you're right. Also you must not bury the dead with shoes or they will walk at night.

I'm scared. My house is not lined up! waaaaaaaaaaaa

Hahhaaa...u'll be fine..WHEN the duppy see u him know better than stick around

What about getting directions in Jamaica? You just go up there so and turn left when you reach Mister Delroy's place with the old coconut tree and one cow with one bad eye. When you reach the well with no bucket you have gone too far. Go back and turn down the next road until you come to Sista Patterson's yard. Make sure you tell her I said hello. (much funnier in patois...but you get it)

Directions reminds me...................We treked from Negril to Limington one day in a rented van with 13 people stuffed in it and every time I asked how much longer it would be, the driver would say....soon come....just up here a little ways past......(basically the some of the things you said above). Something like a couple hours later, we finally reach.




My apartment is in a line....I just hope in the correct line.

And that walking after dark thing is now going to GIVE me nightmares!!!!!!!!!!!!

A tru dat!

I beleive in all that. My mom and grandmother has a dream book that I used ALL THE TIME!!!

I remember hearing that there was one. That would be interesting to read.

The other day in our county library, I found a book of anancy stories and also a book of Jamaican proverbs. It was really interesting. I want to read through them again. I think I'm going to look the book up again and buy a copy.

What happened to our momentum in this thread? It just died out huh? Dang.

Yuh leave and there was no where else to go but down

hAHAA..WE CAN talk about this but soo long we sumpting wah a go hold we...

Roll yeye pon Kimmy.

Mi juss ear wan new wan. I'm on the phone talking to my sweets. He asks me what is all the noise. Well, he always tells me that I "flitter" because I don't sit still in one place long, and I'm always doing something. I respond that I was taking dishes from the dishwasher...or putting clothes in the dryer or whatever I happened to be doing when he asked. He told me:

"Yuh man yuh gwaan like sey yuh haunted."

I fell out laughing and he asked me why I was laughing so hard...and I told him about this thread. waaaaaiiiieeeeee...