Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo. . .

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!


Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A : We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.


Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.


Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.


Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them
in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?


Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big
country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Calgary. Come naked.


Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll
send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary,
straight after the hippo races. Come naked.


Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I
sell it in Canada?(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population
is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a
kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone
walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine
before you go out walking.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Those are classic! HA!

Too funny

Love em!!

Humm

The polar bear one is true, it happened to my brother in high school. I think the guy was from Virginia or something. I had a great time explaining to a native Mississippian that Chicago was colder in the winter than Toronto and had twice the snow of Toronto. I think I blew his mind which is surprising since I had no idea he had one.

yrs ago in prince albert sk, a friend of mine worked at a gas station, was july and an American drove up in a truck and SNOW MOBILES!!!He asked how much further he had to go to find snow in Sk??? But he did leave him a bunch of american budweiser!! Good stuff when one is only 15/16!! lol

When I was a teenager, I used to work with a summer theatre 'stock' company putting on children's shows at local tourist venues. I was there one day when a car load of Americans drove up with skis strapped on the top of their car and were really put out when they were told there wasn't any snow! True story.

lmao...those are so funny........and it scary!!!

LOL, I can back that one up. They must think Ontario is covered year round.

LMFAO I saved it and send it to everyone I know I bet my aliens ( kids ) in canada and bro in germany will get a real kick of it too , lmao

HAHAHAHAH OMG!!!! LMOA!!!!

A

Wish I could think of a good stupid comeback for my old highschool friend that I recently found on Facebook (whose still in Ontario). I told her about living in Colorado etc for 10 or so years and everything. She then said "You probably like it in Colorado as the weather suits you, you probably don't even get snow there at all".

I was about to say something stupid back but decided not too. She knows I can't stand snow or cold, but come on, I thought it was common knowlodge that Colorado has mountains and Skiing! Maybe I can convince other people that we ski on rocks and dirt instead of snow since we have none or something...

hehehe, yes, there are Canadians who are ignorant about the US as well. I am surprised at your friend for not knowing that Colorado hosts some of the best skiing in the US. I guess she doesn't ski:-). (Actually, I think if I weren't living in the South, Colorado would be a wonderful state in which to live - even though I hate winter too. The cold isn't the horrible humid wet winter cold that you get around the Great Lakes where the wind is too lazy to go around you, so it goes through you instead:-) ).

VERY funny Kathryn. You always share some great posts, whether funny or informative.

Thanks!

Carla

Particularly like the hippo racing one!

Although I would have thought that the Thanksgiving question isn't that daft...... I seem to remember that there is a Thanksgiving day in Canada, but it is on a different day to the one celebrated in the US?

Yup! It's in October whereas the one in the U.S. is in November.

Wait... I don't get this thread. Are you trying to say that everyone does NOT live in an igloo?

I liked the hippo races

Those were very funny!!!

I get "Canadian humor" comments all the time now that I live in the U.S.

I think Canadians are taught a lot more about the U.S. than Americans are taught about Canada in school.

I may not know every single city in the U.S., but I do know the difference between a state and a city and can recognize the different names.

I once was asked if Alberta was a city or a "state" by an American.

my hubby really has no clue about the different provinces in Canada..... of course he is slowly learning under my tutelage

i think having it in October is way better.. it gives you more of a break between Thanksgiving and Christmas...

This is true! Just this week we gave a quiz on the Underground Railroad as part of our unit on the American Civil War. One of the questions was to look at a map (on a particular page in their book) and write down the free STATES (the ones that didn't have slaves). One of my kids put Canada as one of the free states. *slaps forehead*. She thought that just because Canada was listed up top that it was one of the states. She had NO IDEA that Canada was a country.

We're not instructed to teach much about any other country other than our own, at least at the Grade 5 level. We do teach the continents and such. Still...this incident boggled my mind almost to the point of causing me to go cross eyed.

Aw give her some credit, she knew Canada played a part in the Underground railroad. lol

True, it did. But that wasn't the question on the test and the teacher who made this test up thought it was pretty easy. The thing was, when I questioned her on the answer she actually thought Canada was one of the States, she didn't seem to know it was a separate country. Ah well, she corrected that part of her quiz (at the insistence of the other teacher) and she made a passing grade.

Canada does have some strange things, most Canadians know that the Leafs always fall in the spring.

nope, not all of us. Some of us can afford a lean-to!

I used to live in a sweat lodge but the cost of anti-perspirant was killing me. Now I live in a hole in the ground with the noctural dirt people. One day I dream of moving to a lean-to.

Canada has railroads??? Cool.

One of my coworkers told a couple from the States today, "So, in Alberta, which is kinda like Canada's version of states, tax is cheaper there than it is here."

*facepalm* Way to dumb it down, buddy...

CCM Tacks or thumb tacks?

awesome!!

My experiences --

"Oh, do people in Canada put lights on their houses for Christmas, too?"

"Oh, but he's Canadian! Why does he need a visa to come here?" (Get this a lot -- a lot of US'ers seem to consider Canada to be the 51st state.)

Lots of -- oohh, but it's so cold and barren in Canada, the winters are forever, etc. Having spent two years in North Dakota, I'd say that many Americans are totally unaware of how many Canadian stereotypes exist right here in the good ol' US of A.

My favourite Canadian stereotype is that Canadians wear astronaut pants, travel in hovercrafts, live in see through domes and drink Labatt's Blue.

I was asked yesterday if I'd ever eaten watermelon in Canada.

hehehehehehhehehe

My SO's grandmother and mother asked me if I ever had fresh strawberries...um...
Best part is, the mother lived in Illinois for years when she was younger!

What's a strawberry?

Well, as an Uhmericun (Gotta say it the way G.B. does now I guess) I was pleasantly suprised to find no roving Moose gangs during my two trips to Ottawa to visit my fiance. She told me that they only have the performing Mooses at the Changing of the guard ceremonies now, Cirque de Moolais I think she called it, and that the REAL problem was beavers. Evidently, Canadian Beavers are real popular with Americans, and we have been bringing them here to the US in large numbers. Otherwise, my impression of Canada is that it's kinda like Pennsylvannia without the Quakers (from driving through there on the way to Ottawa.) On a more serious note, I LOVE Canada, and had a blast during my two visits there. Both were in August, the weather was wonderful, Ottawa was beautiful, and I'd love to have a 2nd home there one day. Oh, and if you ever find yourself in Ottawa, check out a place called "The Works". It's a fantastic burger joint, with the most delicious burgers I've ever tasted. The folks there were just the nicest, and we stuffed ourselves on Burgers and beer. I HAVE had some Timmies too btw, and it was pretty awesome, although I spent a LOT more at the LCBO's there .

A question I get a lot, especially from my students is "Do they have McDonald's up there?" LOL, one of the times I ate at the McD in Halifax there was a sandwich on the menu I'd never seen before: The McLobster.

Another question I'm getting a lot these days are "How is your husband acclimating to the heat, since I know it's so cold up there in Canada". *just laughs...it's easier that way*

who is tim horton anyways and what's the fascination canadians have with that?

A Canadian institution combining our love of hockey and coffee.

It's like a strawSberry down there

I had to click on the link AGAIN...
I'm impressed that's updated to include the one in Kandahar.

Charles, the coffee is strong and addicting. It use to be just coffee and donuts, now they've moved up to include deli style meals. (soup and sandwiches)

And breffrus too!!!!

As opposed to Tim Horton who combined a love for alcohol and high-speed driving.

Oh..didn't click on that link. Well the good thing is, he didn't take anyone out with him......um yeah.


Okay...back to the thread


The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart
50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Canadians plant gardens.

40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians Sunbathe.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down.

32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water get thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
Canadians rent some videos.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

Have the Leafs signed Miroslav SATAN?

*whispering* I don't watch hockey. Except for the finals or the Olympics.