I guess I could post this in the AP section but since most MENA peeps go through this I figured I'd put it here.

I am not worthy yet to complain after only starting our third week in AP hell BUT...........it's not as easy as I thought it would be. The hardest part I seem to be dealing with is not knowing where my file is exactly and whether or not Cairo is waiting for us to give them something before they give our file to DOS for security checks.

Anyways I have done what I can and can only wait for them to hopefully respond to my email some day.(it's been over a week now since I sent it).

For you veterans out there, what do you suggest we do in order to get out of the deep dark tunnel of aggravated despair that I find myself sinking deeper into each day due to the unknown as to where we're at? I need to do SOMETHING because this is only the beginning. Will I eventually just become hard hearted and not give a sh!t anymore and if so how do you dethaw your heart once your SO finally arrives?

If you're anything like me you'll go through stages and various levels of ups and downs. First it was the realization that it would be months before we'd be done and I was only a couple weeks into it. Then I settled in for about a month. Then security checks were done so I got excited but that lasted all of a couple days. Then I got angry about having AP even though security checks were done. Then I settled in for a couple weeks. Then we got the request for the movement cert. and I lost it! I thought for sure there would be more and more requests for useless info. After he finally returned the movement cert. (it took him two weeks to finish it but seemed like an eternity) I panicked that it would take another few months to finish AP. I was pretty upset for the next week and a half then out of the blue the visa was issued.

AP sucks. Period.

How long did it take for your file to go to DOS?

See part of the problem I'm having is that I've been on VJ for about a year now following everyone from Cairo and I pretty much had it in my head that after the interview the file would go to DOS, stay there for about 3 to 6 months, come back to Cairo for about a month or two and then voila the visa would be issued. That is what I was mentally prepared for but now when I see that at wk 3 the file isn't even at DOS yet I am at a loss and my whole mental-preparedness is shot to hell.

I guess you summed it up though. AP sucks. Period.

Moh's interview was on Dec. 6, his file arrived to DOS and security checks started on Dec. 15. Security checks were completed on Feb. 20. Moh's case was at DOS for a little over two months. I'm not sure when his case returned to Cairo but I assume it was within a week. The additional AP then took about a month and a half this is including the 2.5 weeks we were tied up with the movement cert. thing.

Yanno, I thought I was mentally prepared for it, too. However, once *I* had to experience it personally I realized I wasn't prepared for it. I was in it for a few days over 4 months and that SUCKED! I can't imagine those who are/were on it 6, 7, 8 + months. That's insane!

do you think they could be doing ap/Ar first and then sending it to DOS?

ours has been in cario going on 4 months and has never been sent forclearences.... I feel so distraught these days

I really wish I could be a fly on the wall in Cairo for just one day to see what the heck is going on over there.

Our interview was June 12 and then I was told we were in AP...It took me about a week to get a reply from emails...Iv sent 2 inquiries..I have phoned DOS and was told both times our case is open and it is in AP...Last time DOS told me they were doing background checks...I have no idea who is doing all this if its now in DOS hands or Cairo...Since the interview it has been sooooooo hard...I wonder if they even care what we are going through..Seems they could just give us a tid bit of information or some time frame...It is HELL....I also wonder if it will harden me ....Now its over 2 months time...I just try to keep the faith and hope...I guess all we can do is hang in there ....

I don't have any real tips.. I just kept up hope! but really I was so down! I think that this was the worst time of the whole process because of the exact fact that you have no freaking deadline to count down to. Man! it was infuriating. I wish they could give you a review deadline or somehting that would give you a date, you know?

1. First off do not give up hope.
2. Do not discuss AP HELL but once a week with your SO and do not call DOS but once a week.
3. Do not make plans that are date sensitive so you do not have depression or lose hope. **We made plans for my birthday and it passed with us still in the dark abyss and I was depressed and so was he over missing our planned outing.

Try to make things more light hearted and as you know Pakistan has phone and net problems and we had many missed chats or interrupted calls from power load shifts, the earthquake and other problems. So you have to focus on something else during your separation but keep the communication open, strong, and caring.

We called each other to hear the other ones voice once a day (I made more calls than him since it was cheaper for me than him). I called him and told him goodnight and we talked maybe 5 minutes and he would call me at my good night time too several times a week. Just hearing that other person's voice will lift your spirits to know that you are taking the time to check on your loved one. I used phone cards for these type calls and used the house land line for my phone records for once a week long chats on his off day.

We talked almost every day for one hour on the internet. And our chats were offbeat, making silly faces in the camera, telling jokes and catching up on family, holidays, events, and what was happening in our daily lives and routines. If he knew the boys were going to the Dr or JP was having another surgery we would discuss in details and he still felt he was a part of the family.

I sent silly text messages to him all the time. He loved it and he said I always kept him lol in his travels with his job.

I volunteered for my kids school to help with projects, kept busy researching foods, cooking, or cultural things and leaned on some of my friends from VJ.

It is hard to believe but once they arrive and are home you forget this awful time and you are so happy and focusing on starting your life together. Just do not take out your frustrations on each other during this time. And the most important thing for me is I prayed for patience and understanding.

Good luck on finding something that you can focus or find solace in during your wait.

Mary

We haven't even gotten in AP yet and while we would hope he would be here before his birthday (two days after Thanksgiving)...or Christmas...chances are he won't even be here before my birthday (day before Valentines!)

The thought of having to go through our birthdays & holidays without him.....

Yeah I had this stupid idea that he'd be here for my birthday in late September only because Dee's case went so swiftly but I have since buried that thought and am thinking now that it will be more like Christmas or New Years. . . or later.

We focused on my birthday too since others at the consulate were being approved fastly. My mistake was it was all ladies at the time since AP/AP was not discussed until Shonnie and I brought it out in the Pakistani forum.

After having been in AP for a year and two months, I think that would qualify me as a "general", right????

I DEFINITELY agree with the advice that you just have to try and not think about it. I actually think it's quite normal for you to have the outrage feeling. That does subside after a while. I quickly found out that once the file goes into the abyss of AP, there isn't anything that you can do...unless the President himself touches the file (and I know personally I wouldn't want him touching anything of mine ). I never got any assistance from DOS. I'm thinking because we were filing for a different application, perhaps our case has been handled differently.

I did alot of volunteer work for the Red Cross. I was even teaching classes two weeks before I had our son. Once our boy was born, time has fast-forwarded. Hicham was the one that was really flipping out. We've really just talked each other through the bad spells.

You just can't dwell on it. I promise you...it will drive you to insanity. Time will pass and you will be delivered out of the purgatory of AP. But until then, you just have to grab the marshmellows and make smores! Know what I mean???

Hang in there!!!!

I think you and dipsticks may have to fight it out to see who is the general and who is the whatevercomesundergeneral

You both are two of the strongest women I know!

Yep. Been there, did that and wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. I went through A LOT of ups and downs during the AP process and Prozac became my best friend! Really, as hard as it is to do, try to relax (a bit) through the process. It will just eat at you. If I could repeat the whole AP thing I *think* I would *try* to be a more relaxed person.

When Hicham was going through AP through Morocco I called DOS about 5 times a day in my attemt at finding a consistent answer to what was going on. Luckily it only lasted a few days.

I can't imagine going through it in Egypt. It's like you're done with everything and they just leave you hanging there.

We have passed the six month mark now in AP. IT SUCKS!!! There is no other way to put it. Our case has never gone to DOS that I can tell from the many calls I have made to them. All AP is being done in Cairo for our case.

Definitely do not look towards any dates for "when we will be together for this celebration" type thinking. You are setting youself up for depression and disappointment. I was so sure that Sam would be here for this July 4th celebration and when he wasn't it was one of the hardest days to have fun with my kids and be upbeat, cause I just really wanted to roll around in some serious self-pity over being without him for another holiday. But, you get over those things and just move on because you have to. We just keep hoping that the call will come soon for him to send his passport in for the visa. I really just have to focus on one day at a time to keep going and think about the good times we have had together and not too much about what we will do when he arrives as that brings up the thought of WHEN will he arrive.

We both try to have the attitude that we have done all we can and it is out of our hands now and we just have to wait for them to finish the case. One thing that really gets me is that Sam got a paper after the interview, but not a 221g and it did not tell him that they were not issuing the visa, just that administrative processing had to be done before they could issue the visa. So if no 221g why is it TAKING SO FRIGGING LONG???? We just don't know and no one here in the US or in Cairo will share their secret answer to this question.

Anyway my best advice is to focus on only tomorrow or maybe the week you are in and get through that. Then you can move on the to the next week. That has been my strategy for not going absolutely crazy with the waiting and not knowing.

Our paper did not say 221g either but I still think that is what it is. I think they just use a different form.

I'm curious........did everyone who's case never made it to DOS get a home visit? No one has been to his flat, though it looks like it took months for them to do that with you. Guess we're in for a long ride here. At least that gives us more time to save money. I'll try to look at it that way.

We never even got a paper just a verbal 1 to 2 months its all so confusing

Ok so here is what I think. I think that the immigrant division of Cairo is run by maybe two people...the one that interviewed my husband and the other guy with the glasses.

They show up to work maybe three days a week on a good week. They come in, have some tea, smoke a few butts, laugh with the other guys there, talk about who won the soccer game the night before, have some more tea, then they go home. Every once in a while their eye gets caught on one of the dusty files on the desk in the room. They're like in a trance because their brain is trying to tell them, "you need to open that file up and look in it to see what needs to be done". Sometimes the brainwaves get through to the rest of the body and they shake their head like they were dreaming and they actually open up the file and say, "oh sh!t, we didn't send this to DOS yet!". They put it in the mail room to be sent to DOS.

There is one person who works part time one day a week in the mail room. He comes in, drinks some tea, smokes some butts, laughs with the other guys and goes home. Every once in a while his eyes get fixated on the dusty files sitting on his desk and his brain tries to send a message to his body to pick up the files and mail them to DOS. His head shakes like he's waking up from a dream and he says, "oh sh!t, I was supposed to mail these a month or two ago!!" and he mails them.

There's like three people who work at the Cairo post office and they come in maybe two , three days a week tops.............................................................

and so on............

You've got it all wrong. They spend their entire day on VJ, so you better kiss some butt!

All I know is Cairo is just plain ridiculous. I don't see any reason at all why they can't run their office a bit more efficiantly. There is no excuse for it. However I don't think there are many complaints about it, maybe you should ladies should form a group and lobby some senators to address this issue.

I wrote our state senator about the delays of trying to immigrate the legal way and how it gives absolutely no incentive to follow the legal way because of the costs and delays. Sue Myrick is her name. She has been really pushing legislation on immigration. I haven't heard anything. I'm not holding my breath though.

I think that Monnik was preparing some sort of letter but I'm not sure if she ever did or not. I'd certainly sign it though I think others have more of a right too since they've been waiting for months just to get their case sent to DOS.

Power comes in numbers...you gals should start a petition to have the Cairo Embassy investigated.

On second thought, although I"d love to see it happen I think I'd be scared to sign anything until he actually gets the visa in hand. Maybe some alumni would be willing to though.....


I worked as a waitress one summer while I was in college and one time this customer came in that the cook knew and HATED. The cook actually scraped the scum off of the bottom of his shoe and included it in the food he cooked for the guy. Let's just say I don't want Cairo to put their bottom of the shoe scum in my file.

Called the state department today. Spoke with a lady about the status of our case. Well, this is the first time i've heard that now our case is going back and forth from DC and Cairo!! Exactly what does that mean Haven't heard of this before so now I am so totally confused. The times I have called the DOS every answer is always the same.."your case is handled in Cairo...not in DC" I am going freaking crazy over all of this AP stuff or now i'm not quite sure if i'm an AP or a PA or a PQ or a PM or an AF

have you thought about the possibility of another trip while you wait or are you hoping to have him here before enough time passes that another trip is required?

you bet if i ever get a job at the consulate, I'd be checking out VJ of course i am here all the time anyway

why would another trip be required?

I promised my kids that that was the last trip for a while so that's not an option. Plus the money that I'd spend on the trip would be probably around $1,500 and that would be better spent on EAD fees, esl classes, winter clothing for him, etc.

That being said, if AP goes over 9 months then I just might break my promise but I really don't want to put the kids through that again. They worry a lot when I go out of the country.



Not to nitpick but what did the DOS lady say exactly?




Well hopefully what I wrote is pure fiction and the reason for these delays is that they're so busy...hopefully too too busy to be online at work. And if they're going to a visa site afterwork then they've got big problems. I know the last place I'd wanna go online after work is a FASB site!

You have plenty of advice here already Doodle, but I want to say I understand how you feel. Every case is different even with the same consulate. Most of the people who interviewed around the same time as Omar were getting their visas in a week or two. We interviewed on the 16th of November and I returned home on the weekend of Thanksgiving. I remember Sonicliz had interviewed on the 20th. Both she and I were PMing with each other while we were on the phone with DOS that Monday. Her security checks had cleared , and our were still pending. I was happy for her of course...but it was a hard time. We waited 11 weeks. I know it sucks. But I can tell you that after all the waiting and he finally arrives, the wait seems like nothing. Once he was here, the waiting seemed like mere weeks, not months. Use the time to get to know your honey more. Someone posted that advice when I was feeling like you. We did it, which helped pass the time and helped Omar be better prepared for his arrival in the US.

I feel better about things now. I just bawled my eyes out to my husband. Came out of no where. Sometimes I think I'm so strong and I even worry that my heart is turning to stone and then WHAMMO the tears just come a flowin' like crazy.

Anyways I was all "this isn't fair", "we're married for God's sakes we should be together", blah blah blah and he told me to breath, and then explained that next month is Ramadan and that God is doing this so that he can be with his sisters during the month of Ramadan. His father died last Ramadan (I think two days into it or something) and so his sisters and he will all be grieving and it's best that they be together. Also, the last two weeks of that month will be very good for his business since it's his busy season so that will give him the opportunity to save up the rest of the money he needs to leave his sisters with.

So...........he made me feel better about things because even if we got the call tomorrow he won't be able to be here until around mid-October anyway. Kind of takes the heat off of Cairo and DOS.................for now. He always has this way of making me understand God's will when I'm totally blind to it. Sometimes I feel like he's the older one in this relationship. I love him.

Not knowing what's happening with your case is the worst. My husband is also in AP in Casa. His interview was June5th. I called DOS twice and was told that he was in AP at the embassy. I emailed the consulate a week ago and was told that he was in AP in Washington. It's enough to drive me crazy.

Here's hoping for a speedy AP for us all!!!! Hang in there.

Jen

It took them 5 mo to send a field investagtor to Medo's house

You don't have to answer this but I'm just trying to make sense of who gets the field visits...do you have an age gap of over 10 years by any chance? Or any other red flag type issues?

I have to say doodle, I do think this is a good sign. I know one small example doesn't tell us everything about you or your husband, but when one partner can go a little crazy and the other one can say the right things to settle us down again...its a healthy thing. Yu are both going to need more of this kind of balance even after the visa is in hand.

Well here is another story to add to the files of AP hell.

On May 31 I contacted my congressman's office and sent the required paperwork and information to them to make an inquiry. I got the name of the person there that handles the immigration issues for my congressman's office and have been trying to talk to her since that time. I have been very frustrated because she has never returned my calls. Finally, today I decided I would try and call again. I couldn't believe it when I asked for her and she said this is Amanda. Anyway, when I gave her my name she immediately recognized it and then told me why. She said that since she got my information the last of May she has emailed Cairo Embassy four times and has never received a response. Each time she attached the previous email and put 2nd request, 3rd request, 4th request...and nothing from Cairo in response. So, last week she forwarded the unanswered emails to someone at DOS and is waiting to hopefully hear back from them. That kind of blows my hope of getting a response to my emails if they won't even answer a government official's office!!!

I told her our whole situation and all that happened at his interview and since then. She just doesn't know what to think and told me that hopefully she will hear something back since DOS will be contacting them. I'm sure not holding my breathe for that!!! I felt a little better knowing that at least SOMEONE is trying to do SOMETHING to help our situation whether or not it will make a true difference.

Becky, sounds VERY much so like me... i wrote my senator a month and a half ago and he wrote me back with the same info. last week i called the senators office and spoke to the man i needed. he said he had been sending emails to them and no response either so he would try calling and would get back to me.... hmmm i wonder whats going on...
DOS told me today that its finished in washington now and at post in cairo and he should be getting a call soon... so i wonder if this is really true or not !!!

Don't know if true or not, but when I call DOS they have told me the case was not requested there in Washington for clearance, but was done in Cairo and just shows still pending AP. What's up with them not responding to government official's inquiries?? The girl I spoke to today said sometimes it is really difficult to get the embassies to respond, but usually they will after a couple of emails.

Yeah, sometimes I forget these people are government employee's, most of their responses sound like my ten year old could have written them. They certainly don't bother to try to put you at ease when they do answer your e-mails.

AP is only the beginning. Tonight I just told my bf we are in AP so we can save some more money and be prepared for things once he comes here. Of course, Ramadan is coming, and that will be better celebrated in Egypt than in the USA. I know this is hard, but there is a reason for everything, we simply don't know what it is yet.....lol. Maybe once we finally get the approvals we will realize why we waited so long, and appreciate the wait. For us, I think it is all a matter of timing, and finances. This has definately given us both time to get our lives and finances in order better.

Sue

Yes Medo and I do have a age gap..And Im sure that is the reason it is taking them so long. Grrrrrrrrrr

You never know about age gap in relation to length of ap. I dont' think there's a rhyme or reason for it truly.

I was going to call DOS this morning but you know what? I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna email Cairo either. When he gets it he gets it and obviously there's nothing that I can do to make it go quicker so why bother teasing myself wondering where it's at, you know? If I keep emailing and calling once/week what's it gonna do for me other than get me all upset.

I find it so frustraiting that it has been over a month since anyone in Cairo has received good news.. I know that if I logged in and saw that just one of you have gotten your visa I will be soooo happy. I don't understand how there so speedy in june and jul and NOTHING for aug! I try really hard not to dwell on this but I feel so crazy from this indefinate waiting..... Hope you all doing well and each of us will be given that chance to have our fiance or husband

I really think it's due to it being summer and all that. My prediction is that something will happen between now and the start of Ramadan............then things will go slow again for a while and then after Ramadan things will pick up until Hajj. It's just like a regular business I'm guessing where summertime is the least productive.

I hope it is just beacuase it is summer,,, That is at least a positive way of thinking. I don't know....

All I know is my eggs aren't getting any younger.

Mine either Doodle....

We are at 2 months now -- WHEN IS IT GOING TO END???????????????????????/