Peace is upon whom follows the correct faith:

I really did not know that I was going to be the main even and icon for those whom spent their lives online, when I posted for Mrs. Deemabrouk. As I am a Muslim, I respected her privacy and I did not email her in private.
But guess what, the lawyers and the advocators whom started to comment on my post, their eyes could not see my post's preface very well. My post here was for one person only, not for anyone else. What is really funny the person I posted for her did not give any comment!

Now, why did these lawyers have a problem with me? Because I quoted from the Noble Quran;
The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad (2:237)
{And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another}

This means; if you wanted to leave him, leave him on a good note. Remember that you were in love someday. If he was an evil, she does not need be an evil as well. We do not deal with the people like how bad they are, but we deal with the people like how good we are. I did not tell me {If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.} Matt 5:39 but I said, "Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday.” And if these layers read my post after removing the hate and evil from their hearts, they would see me said literary at the first line of my prior post "I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not."

The question here is? Why do those layers want the police be involved and who knows what may be the sequence? Those layers who were not with her when she chose him, they were not with her when she got married in Egypt, they were not witnesses for her marriage, and even who have not listen to the story from the other partner yet. Where on the earth a judge or a jury can put their last judgments for a case before listening to all the involved partners in the case?

We do not need a psychotherapist to conclude that some of those, whom replied with the extreme hate, got married more than one time. They had at least, one failure relationship while they were abused. They wanted Mrs. Deemabrouk to take a step, they could not take before. Simply, they wanted Mrs. Deemabrouk do to, what they could not do.
On the other hand, some of them like to watch a daily show called "The Road to Divorce", starring Deemabrouk and her husband. For any successful show, the more the drama elements, the more the show is aggravated thrill and excitement. So, every day they bring their snacks and soft drink and watch the show. This show must last as much as it can be. Ask about those whom were here a year ago and they got divorced, who on the earth in this VJ still ask or even if care about them anymore or Mrs. Deemabrouk try to see what may happen after your divorce? They would leave your show for another, why? Cause your show would be like a match has been lit. See, how many times these words have been used in VJ “There is no drama today.”.
Every one of those layers after watching the show, return back to their husbands and families, laughing, eating and having some fun. Wow, how much do they really care? Their lives did not stop of you or your problem and their lives will still continue after it as well.

Finally, for those who liked police and drama. Do never think the life smiles for the person all his life. Or you are in the safe place cause of your marriage lasts for ten years. The Soviet Union collapsed in less than a day after more than forty years of its foundation. As you judged people without listening to them, the day must come for the people to judge you in the same way without listening to you. Do what you want; as you own people, people must own you. Now, I am off of this show.

You will not be missed. Oh, and don't forget to turn the lights off before you leave.

Tamer - if your original intent was to cite the Quran and provide Dee with some comfort, you have completely missed the mark. Not only have you demeaned her situation, but also belittled it by calling her thread to thank everyone a show. This is a support thread, and reminding someone of verses that *may* help is welcomed, but attacking supporters and the one needing support is not.

Let's move on all.



edited for spelling

Oh, get over yourself, Gladiator.

And you come in here quoting the Quran to tell an abused woman to take it like a good Muslim. And to prove you're right you're quoting the Bible? F*ck that for a bag of chips. You accuse everyone of crowding around like dee's relationship is on the television, but not only are you doing the same, you're doing so while condoning abuse. So your part in your internet drama is to support the villain. Honestly.

Ah, although my husband wanted to be anonymous, that doesn't quite work when I accidentally posted as him awhile back. Sorry honey

And since he's my husband, I'd like to simply clarify that he in no way condones abuse, but was simply seeking to provide guidance on the quranic method of handling marital issues, be it reconciliation or divorce.

As for the rest of his posting, he's a big boy and can respond if he'd like. Just wanted to make it clear that he does not condone abuse.

Sometimes I just have to shake my head.

Oh Gladiator, more like nauseator, what would you have Dee do? Wish upon a star that the abuse would stop? In the United States, the police are here to help not hinder. Why do you want her worried about the consequences of calling the police, her husband was not!


Furthermore, I have never been abused in a relationship and God willing I never will be so how presumptious of you and this will be my first marriage,but what that has to do with the price of tea in China who knows.

Good Riddance.

I dont post too often here either but Ive been following this heartbreaking story myself and I am so very very sorry that you are going thru this anguish Dee; although I dont know you as the other girls do on the site of course, I offer you my deepest support and sympathy also.

My one comment at this point referring what Gladiator has been saying -Where does it say in the Quran that HE GETS OFF CONNIVING WITH SOME SUPPOSED "GOOD MUSLIM WOMAN" from that MYSPACE SITE????? and if he supposidly knew her from way back when -WHY AS A MARRIED MAN IS HE STILL IN CAHOOTS WITH HER AND COMMUNICATING WITH HER AND ALLOWING HER VICIOUS LIES TO DESTROY WHAT HE HAD WITH HIS WIFE EH???? Where in the good book does it say that??? How convenient to ignore that blaring fact I must say.

It simply blows my mind what he is doing to her -after all she did for him -after all the months and month and months of sacrifice -as most of us know -probably at some point taking on 2 jobs and exhausting herself just to make ends meet -we have all been thru that I am sure! And not even an ounce of even token appreciation for what she did for him!! Its just not right -and its disgusting that these type of men just dont see how their spouse did all she could to open that door of opportunity for him-and all she asked in return was to have a loving and caring man who would promise to cherish her and look after her!
If it was me I would expose this treachery to the Imam!!! Let him know the truth!
The scoundrel!!!

Absolutely unbelievable, Tamer, that you would pass judgments on the women in this group KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT THEM, and with that same judgmental--emphasis on the mental--brain and mouth, quote qu'ran as if you are unburdened by ever having made poor choices, unburdened with lack of knowledge in any particular area (WHAT IS YOUR TRAINING, BY THE WAY, that you think you can give qu'ranic advice?)---SPECIFICALLY MARRIAGE considering you are on your first and have only lived with your wife for a year (please, come back in 20 years and tell us just how much you've learned by then, because even 20 year marriage veterans will say, you will NEVER know it all)?

I suppose someone as arrogant as you will say you have, if at all, committed only venial sin in your life, and that your supposed piousness and ability to search the internet for a freaking translation proves you to be more righteous than the rest of us.

Any "good" you may have thought you could have done with your "marriage" advice is completely trashed by your disgusting display posted here today. You are clearly mean-spirited and only have the lowest regard for women, our opinions, and our experience in marriage. And, by the way, there are just as many women posting here who have never been married before than have. A woman doesn't have to be married to know that she wouldn't take a beating from a man----or verbal abuse and manipulation the likes of which you are clearly intimately familiar.

So, if you were completely misunderstood in your first post, I am curious to know exactly where it is in the qu'ran you are given guidance to respond to misunderstandings with such vile insults? Matt, you say? Turn the other cheek? Or is that only for the frigging benefit of MEN when they are out of line with women? Your glorious prophets are only here to support you and your opinion of things, I take it? Turn the other cheek, Tamer, and run like hell. You've made no friends here, and you certainly haven't convinced anyone you are anything more than a jerk.

Peace is upon whom follows the correct faith:



Where is on the earth did I say abusing a wife is good? My posts about this subject are here. Try to quote from them as show me where did I say that? Lying does not help person to support an idea. A simple question, does my reply touch a hidden part in your life that you want to forget Caladan?

And No, I did not call this thread as show. I mentioned about those who like to see a dram show. Those who wanted to see police involved, I literary said” On the other hand, some of them like to watch a daily show called "The Road to Divorce", starring Deemabrouk and her husband. For any successful show, the more the drama elements, the more the show is aggravated thrill and excitement."

If people think that ending a marital in a good note is bad and they prefer the police to be involved, then good for them. As you own people, you must be owned someday too.


Peezey, or Sarah, is that the same way you speak with your husband. Wow, what a man he is? Who in the hell has told you that I want to be a friend for a person like you? Who in the hell told you I have female friends? My wife is so enough for me. What is really funny you did not listen to the story from her husband and you are here arguing; what do you argue about? Where is on the earth and innocent idit judge puts his last judgment without listening to all the partners involved in the same? I guess I know who she is. I am not here to discuss my personal life Sarah. Go and play this game with someone else. If the husband and wife can not solve their problems by themselves, then they were in hasty in their marriage. My wife and I have been planned for any possibility and every thing may happen in our life. My wife and I know eac other for more than five years, not one year like how you said. Sorry, your information needs to be updated. Oh, by the way, why do not you state your personal problems here to be discussed as well? Like how you like to discuss other problem. Or you just like to know about others problems and put your personal life aside. I am sorry, I not here to discuss with the Desperate Housewives.

Finally, prophet Muhammad "peace and mercy be upon him" got married with 11 wives and he never put his hand on or abuse any of them, whatever her age, sex or religion. Although he has all the power to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants as a governor for all Muslims. When his wives complained that they do not have enough food and money; imagine that, the governor of a country lives as a poor man, it is impossible to see something like that nowadays, The Lord Almighty told our prophet (peace and mercy of Allah be upon him), tell his wives:

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Abdul Allah Yusuf Ali
{[33:28]O Prophet! Say to thy Consorts: "If it be that ye desire the life of this World, and its glitter,- then come! I will provide for your enjoyment and set you free in a handsome manner.}

Read it carefully, "I will provide for your enjoyment and set you free in a handsome manner". This implies giving her all her rights as a wife and leaving her in a good manner. Not only abuse the wife not during the marital life but also, abuse her not during the harmful part; divorce period where the feelings are so touchy. Compare that to the number of divorce cases at the courts around the world. In addition, divorce must be in a kind manner. No police or any problems. These are the ethics of the Quran and that is how male Muslims must deal with their women.

Your posting under his name has nothing to do with why I knew who he was from the beginning. His previous ID has his name in it.

Sarah, how many times did you get married? Please, tell us about your first husband and what did he do for you in Egypt? Let us benefit from your stories, and how did you deal with it? Did you call the police for your abuse husband like how you wanted Mrs. deemabrouk to do? Of you are giving an advice you have missed to do it.

this has nothing to do with the topic. please take your personal questions to PM should you wish to continue with this discussion.

let's get this back on topic, or it may be closed.

Goodness, Tamer, you are way more out there than I originally though, and Rahma, you are ridiculous for backing him up and GIVING OUT MY NAME TO YOUR HUSBAND which you only know because of a private group we were in together. Very nice, work, Rahma, breaking the cofidentiality agreement of an offline group is the best you can do? You have shown your true colors today. Everyone thinks you are sweet as can be, but truth be told, you can be petty and vicious as the rest of us when you can't think of another way to handle things.

VJ isn't a court of law, we are women supporting each other here. Some people post their business and want advice and need support. There have been many different kinds of advice posted here.

LIVING WITH YOUR WIFE and knowing your wife without living together are two entirely different things, something I'm sure you know quite well. You can know someone online for 5 years, but living together is an altogether different thing. This has been made clear with Dee's situation and others who have posted over the years.

People with no argument resort to empty questions like "is this how you talk to your husband?" and "why don't you post your private life here?" Uh, duh. Most people DON'T post their private life here. And no, I've never had a call to speak to my husband like this, because he's not an woman-demeaning jerk, but God help him if he ever spoke the way you do, believed the way you do, because my words wouldn't be what he'd need to worry about.

Again, I implore you to show us where it is this nasty behavior of yours is supported in the qu'ran?

By the way, these women, all of us, who you think only want drama are the same women who have been coming together---many of us who aren't even friends around here, and normally disagree on VJ---to support Dee, send PMs, trying to rally around and get her paypal address, want to send her money and gift cards and clothes. We aren't just blubbering with words, we are working our deen/philosophy/path. What are you doing?

Huh? Egypt? Abuse? What are you talking about? What first husband? Dude, you are lost.

It would not be fair if you knew me well and I did not know you.




I said before "If the husband and wife can not solve their problems by themselves, then they were in hasty in their marriage". Thanks the Lord Almighty, my wife and I have discussed everything about our life, however. If you have been abused before Sarah, do not put your own problem in others. No all men like how your man was.

If the VJ was not court, then why in the hell did you put your judgments about a guy you did not listen from him? Why in the hell you want to the police to be called?

By the way, why do you avoid my questions? Why do you like to discuss others private life and keeps yours away? Tell us about how many times did you get married? And if you have been abused before? Why do put your private aside?

I am sorry Sarah, should I put some of your private life here, to refresh your memory? Or you prefer to do that yourself. Today will be a nice Drama called, "Inside the hidden Life of Sarah"?

My gosh, you guys are going to get this thread locked. Maybe the arguing can be removed or split or something. If not then a new thread will have to be started for Dee and support for her.

The husband should not have used your name, and for that, I apologize. I don't believe it was said in any willful breach of confidentiality, asside from the fact that I refer to my online friends by their names, so that he probably thought that your name was also out here as well. Mods, could you please remove peezy's name from that post?

In any case, I'll make one final post on vj and then be done with it. There is a lot of drama on this board, and my husband has been exposed to my getting involved in this drama for years. Heck, the popcorn/soda smilie is probably one of the most popular smilies in this subforum (asside from the happy dance guy ). In any case, I've been sucked up in this drama for too long, and it's now time to disentangle. Best wishes to those still going through the process. Hope things go smoothly for ya'll.

Gladiator-Please do not discuss ppl's personal lives here when they don't want it to be discussed. Same should go for everyone of course. You should stop there.

Now you are funny. I'm actually doubled over at your insanity.

OK, I've been married 14 times, my 7th husband like fur coats so I had to leave him because I'm totally PETA, oh, and my 3rd husband still played with Legos, so that was the end of that, and my 11th husband, well, turns out he wanted a husband of his own, and then there's #14 who, bless his heart, didn't like baseball, and I have season tickets, so, out the door he went.

And p.s. I have never been abused. Unless you call a husband who thinks spaghetti = canned chili on noodles abuse.

Please for everyone looks at the person who wants a lot of drama and police and stuff. Look at the words she say from her own words and try to think about it.

People with no argument resort to empty questions like "is this how you talk to your husband?" and "why don't you post your private life here?" Uh, duh. Most people DON'T post their private life here

That is why this woman hides her name from this forum. That is the reason behind that she never tells anything about her private life. I wish Mrs. Dee. And everyone got the message well? These people like to know about your private problems and never tell anything about themselves. My Lord Almighty, if divorce and other staff were not a private issue, what on this earth is private then?

This thread will continue to be monitored and is still being regarded as closeable. Please try to be respectful.

We going to go round and round on this? You are angry because I touched a nerve, I realize. But how about you answer how it is your deen compels you to be so nasty? And please, since you are the expert, give us qu'ranic evidence justifying your behavior toward me and the others in this forum?

Your arguments make no sense. You are saying that someone who doesn't post their personal life (me) cannot give advice to one who does. What then, are you doing here? You don't post your personal life here, so how are you qualified to post advice to Dee?

Divorce is private. But it's not for me to judge who posts information in this forum, nor is it for you to judge, so what is your point in all this?

Again I say, if you were wholly misunderstood in your first post, and based on the replies you received, we all seemed to think you meant the same thing, but if we were completely mistaken, how is it this venomous attack on these women fixes all that? Simply stated, you could have mitigated this situation by telling us you were misunderstood. But instead you chose the route of nasty, insulting gossip.

So following your logic(if one can call it that) Dee should not post her personal details here,but just suffer in silence, bereft of support,but that same logic allows you to post Peezey's private information, ie her name???

The emperor has no clothes.

You are an absolute nutcase who apparently has no shame whatsoever. How sad.

Gladiator - your post was removed from the Thanks thread. Do not continue the discussion there. Do no resort to posting private information about other members from off the board.

dee is posting about her private life because she has a problem that she can't fix on her own. Perhaps you'd rather that she suffer in silence, or hide the fact that not every long distance marriage ends up in happily ever after unicorn land, but it's her choice.

' Disentangle' .... I wonder if that word has anything to do with NAPPY HAIR...

look.. to a certain degree I agree things between a man and a woman are private.... BUT this isnt the 1940'S where a woman has to hide whats going on.. keep it in the closet

and honestly only ONE person on here knows me.. other than being on line... SO to a certain extent.. this still is somewhat "private".. no one knows where i live and actually WHo i am....

I was raised "talking" about my issues and feelings... and when everyone else is saying "i told you so" from my "real" life... VJ is the ONLY place where people knows where i am coming from.. long distance.. marring from another culture.. Bringing someone into the country.. and the stress of dealing with ADjusting to new things coming into the country/ spouse in the house

So maybe some think I am a Bad Woman cause I have been posting about this.... Whatever.... you still only know me from your computer screen......

From what I can see, no one here who **matters** and wants to help you and be an ear for you thinks you are bad---AT ALL. You are normal. What you are going through can happen to any of us, and no one who truly understands life and marriage would ever pass judgment on your choices.

And there is nothing wrong with discussing your feelings, not in Islam, not anywhere.

thanks..

I guess we will never have FLAME FREE day here. Ufff... I wish this thread would be closed. But sadly enough even if would be, yet another would be opened to continue it. As Peezy said, if we all wanted to help. We would stop talking about... call the poor dear, send her some money and really be her avocate, instead of dragging her name and issues out in the muck.