Or in Arabic, it's KORA. Yalla kora!

Paquita la del barrio is hilarious. SHE TARES AND RIPS MEN APART IN ALL HER SONGS. Shes great for when your in a man bashing mood.
You can hear some of her songs in myspace. Too bad they are all in spanish.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...endID=213471268


Also Some Vicente Fernandez is good to grab some tequila and just turn the volume up and pour your heart out. Or if you dont trink tequila grab some juice.


oh that is so cool in spanish we have a smilar word "CORRA" = RUN! JEJEJE. Maybe the spaniards borrowed that word too.

Man I dont know what to drool over the hot pics or the yummy ones! jejejejeje Either way i like em both LOL

Or Charles, we could mix hotties and guns!

Yeah dipsticks. I sang Paquita during karaoke in Mexico once. It was hilarious. And the crowd loved it of course.

We could translate the songs for everybody. Heehehehe Every other word is either : useless, waste, damned, dog, rat, beast, or cockroach!!!!!!!!

(my favorite song of hers is Me Saludes a la Tuya - it's so funny)

HOLY MOTHER OF MARY!!! I've been gone just a few hours and you ladies have gone wild!! I want some of that!! I'm sittin here watching toy story with my son and droooooooooooling like you can't imagine! I'm sooooooo up for a game of soccer now!

hehe one of my favorite jokes..
What does an Eskimo have if he's sitting on an iceberg??



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PLOAROIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some of my personal favorites for these special times:








http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbxNybJ1k0o

I can't get that next to last one to imbedd but it's a good one lol

well i saw this last week and i laughed my a ss off. i hope you enjoy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6exm2Hi28Xw

I work with a doctor who is looking for a "DISTRACTION". Six foot four, tan, Richard Gere hair, sounds like a dj when he talks, handsome, sixty, single............DOCTOR

401K?

Jackie

MMMM? I can ask! LOL He is always asking me to help him find a woman. Really he is very handsome, and very nice too. He just seems to work a lot! He likes to vacation at places like Mexico, the Riviera, cruises....I know all this because I am nosy. LOL Right now he is busy completely renovating and old house he bought last year (Floors?). LOL
He is totally not MENA, (nothing bad intended). Says he is looking for "passion". Who knows might be nice for a weekend on the town! LOL

Omg-Jackie I just noticed your new ticker. Can you give us a hint at least????

OH YEAH! I was curious about that too. So, what is it? New tattoo, new pirecings? Going on a long vacation? GIVE US A HINT

Oh I wish I could, but the time will pass quickly. Just know it has the potential to be bigger than my belly piercing!!!!!

Jackie

Wow. I am intrigued.

My sister pierced her own belly button once. With just an earring....can you imagine?

I got a new piercing today. I now have a little crystal in my nose.

One of the girls I work with has her nose pierced. She is the one that took me to the tattoo/piercing place.

J

I love those small diamonds in the nose. Like Joss Stone and some other artists have. I think it's cute.

Bigger than a peircing? Gastic by pass? NO, I don't think so.....lol ?????

Not a hunky good looking guy but for sure a Q T
http://www.videovat.com/videos/2282/breakdancing-baby.aspx

I'm wanting my nose pierced, but my job will not allow it and since I'm also looking for jobs right now I don't know if this would be the best time for it. You know how some employers are

a ring on my finger, a ring in my nose, a ring in my belly, a ring on my toes!

self edited due to rudeness

J

rudeness!?

Jackie- you can be rude because this is your thread.

Just kidding about the GB, hope it wasn't offensive to you. It was not meant to be.....Sorry Whatever the surprise is, I am sure it will be a great one...

OK - I dont know if I can get this to post .... but I can help you out with this request.........

Click to view attachment

Click to view attachment

Click to view attachment

Click to view attachment

OK -- ARE YOU SMILING JACKIE???

Enjoy!

OHHH
I forgot to ask if you are going to his concert in a couple of weeks?

damn my sister said every thing sounded good till you got to the sixty part LOL

wooo hooo welcome to the nose pierced club! I got the same little smally tiny crystal in my nose too. I had my nose pierced for about 7 years now. im so glas a work for a laid back compay where we are supposed to look fresh and hip. If I was stuck some where else they would probably tell me to do away with it. But yay there is no need for that. =0)

My MENA distraction as therapy would having the hammam all to myself for the afternoon! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I want a nose ring

Thx Malarie! Where is Marco going to be in concert?

Belly ring is a little tender today. Let's hope for no infection.

Ok, here is my rude poem, dedicated to one who shall remain nameless (it's all about me here)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am hot
Sucks to be you.

Jackie
amor en silencio.......

Jackie --
I am from the suburbs of Chicago --- I think I assumed were from the same because of your timeline (heck maybe you are)....

He will be here on September 2nd at the Allstate Arena with Juan Gabriel.

Yes - I took those pictures myself from past concerts -hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ok my friend hope this makes you laugh as it did me!



Subject: Taste Test
A class of first graders taste a bowl of lifesavers.


The children began to say:
Red......................Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green...................Lime
Orange.................Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating
Them, none of the children could identify the taste.
'Well, she said, I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother
May sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and
Yelled, 'Oh, my gosh, They're a$$-holes!'

Are you sure ?????? In Chicago? I live near Joliet. I want to go. Are you going? Maybe we can meet up. I looked at the site, is he going to be there the 1st or 2nd of Sept?

Jackie

Subject: ANGER MANAGEMENT


When you occasionally have a really bad day,
and you just need to take it out on someone, don't
take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number
and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I
please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
"Get the right f.......ing number!" and the phone was
slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone
could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's
correct number to call her, I found that I had
accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call
the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
"You're an a$$hole!" and hung up. I wrote his number
down with the word 'a$$hole' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him
up and yell, "You're an a$$hole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller, ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic 'a$$hole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see
if you're familiar with our Caller, ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's
because you're an a$$hole!" and hung up..
One day I was at the store, getting ready to
pull into a parking spot.. Some guy in a black BMW
cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I
noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I
wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling
the first a$$hole (I had his number on speed dial),
I thought that I'd better call the BMW a$$hole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW
for sale?"

He said, "Yes, it is."

I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in
Fairfax. It's a yellow Rambler,
and the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you,
Don?"

He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an a$$hole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had
two a$$holes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called a$$hole 1.

He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an a$$hole!" (But I didn't
hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, " Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "A$$hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd.,
in Fairfax, it's a yellow rambler and I have a black
Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And
you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared,
a$$hole," and hung up.

Then I called ####### 2.

He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, a$$hole."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your a$$!"
I answered, "Well, a$$hole, here's your
chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the
police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in
Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang
war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to
Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two
a$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front
of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.

Angie, girl you crack me up.

Jackie

A NICE WHOLESOME OLD FASHIONED STORY



Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room
and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was,
"Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom,
they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk,"
she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby
and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked,
"Would you like me to put that on your bill?

"No!" Donald quacked,
"What kind of a pervert do you think I am?"

I think I may be a combo of all three if that is possible
Subject: Re: Coffee

GOOD DAY TO ALL.......

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I ? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult. !!!!!!! This is so true.


May we all be COFFEE!

Repeat after me:
[This is the Day the Lord has made.]





God has kept me here for a reason.
I survived because He has a plan for me.
All my bad relationships, the consequences, the
hard times, the sad times, the death of my loved ones, the back
stabbing from my friends, the negative thoughts, or the lack ofsupport
I made it because I am blessed!


I release and let go of all past hurts, misunderstandings and grudges
because I am abundantly blessed! I recognize them as the illusions they are,
and sent from the enemy to kill my spirit, steal my joy, and destroy my faith.
For God is all there is. All else is a lie!


Give yourself a hug, wipe your tears away and walk in victory!
I love you, but more appropriately God loves you BEST! Be blessed and know
that you are at one with THE SPIRIT OF THE LIVING GOD! And may the
Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.
Genesis 31:49. Amen!

[quote name='amal' date='Aug 12 2007, 12:50 PM' post='1115804']
I want a nose ring


Girl if your in Houston now I can take you to a place to get it done and I will hold your hand for support while they pierce your nose! We will then welcome you to the tiny crystal pierced club.jejeje

That was really nice.

Here is a funny (and true) story about my mom and my stepdad that happened a couple of years ago. Enjoy.

My mom and stepdad were having a conversation about my sister and I and our teenage rebellious times. My stepdad had thought about it a lot and decided that it was best to start a conversation with my mom about their options. The conversation went something like this.

He: Honey, I think the best thing for the girls would be to join the circus.

She: Huh?

He: Well, don't get me wrong. I know it is not for everyone. And, it can be dangerous at times. But I have thought about it a lot and I think that they would be happy there.

She: (starts to puff up a little) What's wrong with you?

He: I'm just trying to say that the experience would be good for them. They would get to travel, meet new people, learn how to do different jobs, and they would get lots of exercise.

She: I'm not putting up with this! How can you suggest that?

He: It's the circus, baby. They take care of eachother there. I know they would be uncomfortable at first, but eventually I think they would see that they belong to the group. It won't be that bad. They could always come visit us when they are in town.

She: Stop it! I'm not talking about this with you! My kids misbehave sometimes, but they don't belong in no DAMN CIRCUS!!!!!!

He:

She: What's so damn funny?! I just might throw something at you, you know.

He: I said............. I think the kids should join the SERVICE! As in the Army, etc............. You are so funny!

You ladies have yet to post a photo of someone that I find attractive. Am I the only one that doesn't think any of these guys are hot? ESPECIALLY the one from Lost.

sowwie, i'm not posting my pic

Charles ... I dont even know you but you crack me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for making me laugh on this Monday morning!

Jackie - He is most definately going to be at the Allstate Arena on 9/2/07..... it was 9/1/07 but they cancelled that show as he is now going to perform with Juan Gabriel (on the 2nd) ................ sure we can meet up .... I am still hunting for 1st row tickets -- holding out something will pop up.

The closest I can find is section 110 in the first row (which are good seats -- but ..... I WANT 1ST ROW!!)

My sis lives in Plainfield --- ha such a small world!

I am so glad you told me about the date change. I will check on tickets today. Anything to get me out of this house. I feel like it sucked me in and I can't get out.

Jackie