capital D R O O L ! Thanks!!! *slobber*

I just had to post this. I read this at work today and laughed so hard I almost cried! I hope you all like it too.

In case you need a laugh, remember: it takes a
college degree to fly a
> plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form,
called a "gripe sheet,"
> which tells mechanics about problems with the
aircraft. The mechanics
> correct the problems, document their repairs on the
form, and then pilots
> review the gripe
> sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said
that ground crews
> lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints
> submitted by the Qantas' pilots (marked with a
"P"), and the solutions
> recorded by maintenance engineers (marked with an
"S"). (By the way,
> Qantas is the only major airline that has never,
ever, had an accident.)
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order. (I love this one)
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200ft
per min descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what friction locks are for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny. (love this one too!!)
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> And the best one for
> last..................
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like
> a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.

Those were cute, amal!!! Thanks.

Those are funny Amal!!!!

Okay, I really must post some pics of Gerard Butler!!!! After seeing "300" and "Beowulf" over the last week, I must give props to his hottness!

Hmmmm. Good job allousa. He IS hot!

Did you see him in "Phantom of the Opera". AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've seen him in many things, but that one almost did me in! "Phantom" is my absolutely FAVORITE play/story of ALL time. I've seen it several times and when the movie came out, I just couldn't wait. I thought he was devestatingly handsome in the movie....

Nope. I have never seen that one. But, you made a good choice.

I must say that I REALLY like your shopping smiley!!!!! I hope you don't mind that I stole it for future use.

Not at all. I have wanted to get a new pocket book for a month now but I'm holding back 'cause I think some may think it too gaudy. I'm just drawn to it everytime I see it in Macy's though.

Hi everybody. I have been in a little funk lately, so have not been posting much. Love the purse doodle, but after Labor Day I wouldn't use pink.

Help me find a shirt to wear to the concert.

Jackie

I like it! Maybe if they had it in another color (white, gold, silver) , it wouldn't stand out as much to you. But there is so much pink in the world, I don't think people would notice! I LOVE PINK!
See:


Buy it!

What kind of top are you looking for girl? Give me an idea and I will look for some inspiration for you!

Chin up. We are here for you.

I want the bag in blue but the web doesn't have that color.

I totally have the PERFECT shirt for you but I can't find it online anywhere. My husband got it for me at a street vendor type place. It's sheer but green/white/black and goes waaaaaaaaaaaaaay past my butt and has 3/4 inch sleeves. I haven't been anywhere where I could wear it yet but when I do I'll wear it with jeans and a white/black or green long sleeved scoopnecked shirt underneath.

Another cool concert outfit that I have is something like this but without all the fru-fru on the top..just plain babydoll type tank that goes way past the butt and I wear it with a white long sleeved scoop necked shirt and a pair of white capris. The one I have is a bright coral and sooooo soft and comfy!

I like this style:

It would be good for hiding my love handles!

double post - bad connection

Oh I like the black one.....but my ta-ta's would be nekkid!

Jackie

Wear a little cami underneath. Or...if you got it, flaunt it!

That's what I would say- wear a body shirt or a camisole underneath. Not only will it prevent you from exposing yourself, but they can smooth you out, too.

You could look for a style like that Jackie but with a higher neckline.

What color looks best on you?

I just had to post this. My mothers talk to me about the facts of life went like this, "Stay away from men, they will do bad things to you". LOL
When I first got my monthly, she handled it by telling me there was something on the washer for me, I went in the bathroom expecting a new blouse, to my amazement it was a box of Kotex! LOL


My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first
mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet
doors was ajar.

I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was
keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those
were for "special occasions" (her second mistake).

Now fast forward a few months.... It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks
are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner.

Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set
the table.

When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into
laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling.

Next came my father, who roared with laughter.

Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each
place setting on the table with a "special occasion" Kotex napkin at
each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked
the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent
the other adults into further fits of laughter.

"But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!!"

Isn't it easier to just tell the truth?! ????????

Pass this on to your girlfriends who need a good laugh.

Life is too short for drama & petty things,
so kiss slowly, laugh insanely,
Love truly
and
forgive quickly



May your troubles be less, your blessings be more and nothing but
happiness come through your door!






---------------------------------
Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's Comedy with an Edge to see
what's on, when.

That was funny, Tammy! So cute!