Full Version: Biggest poll EVER!
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this poll has changed my life for the better..i am having 10 of my clients log on just to take this poll
QUOTE
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND - Research has discovered that taking polls makes you more physically attractive to the opposite sex. A ten year study of poll-takers were compared to a control group of people with pollaphobia (fear of polls and/or multiple choice questionnaires) and their physical attractiveness was rated on a scale of one to ten - ten being hot and one having the face of a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Researchers were surprised to discover that poll-takers were one hundred and five times more likely to be rated hot than those who refused to answer. "We really weren't expecting such dramatic results," admitted Ms. Abigail Bespectacled, lead researcher at the Grants R Us College. "Altho frankly, some of the pollaphobes are pig ugly. I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot clipboard, and I'm not normally picky."
The study involved a variety of polls, ranging from political opinions to the more quirky. Asked what the point of the research was, Ms. Bespectacled answered that she has been personally satisfied with the results, especially by a pair of Danish twins on a surfing holiday. "We've also discovered, for instance, that, given the choice, most people would rather French kiss a puma than listen to Bluegrass music, and that 23% of people have never had sex with someone who owns a NASCAR T-shirt but are not completely ruling it out."
The research was funded by The Polish National Tourist Office who didn't read the application carefully enough.
Researchers were surprised to discover that poll-takers were one hundred and five times more likely to be rated hot than those who refused to answer. "We really weren't expecting such dramatic results," admitted Ms. Abigail Bespectacled, lead researcher at the Grants R Us College. "Altho frankly, some of the pollaphobes are pig ugly. I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot clipboard, and I'm not normally picky."
The study involved a variety of polls, ranging from political opinions to the more quirky. Asked what the point of the research was, Ms. Bespectacled answered that she has been personally satisfied with the results, especially by a pair of Danish twins on a surfing holiday. "We've also discovered, for instance, that, given the choice, most people would rather French kiss a puma than listen to Bluegrass music, and that 23% of people have never had sex with someone who owns a NASCAR T-shirt but are not completely ruling it out."
The research was funded by The Polish National Tourist Office who didn't read the application carefully enough.
Source
Research has discovered that taking polls makes you more physically attractive to the opposite sex
hot damn, i slicking back the hair as i type
hot damn, i slicking back the hair as i type
QUOTE(almaty @ Aug 17 2007, 02:35 PM) 
Research has discovered that taking polls makes you more physically attractive to the opposite sex
hot damn, i slicking back the hair as i type
hot damn, i slicking back the hair as i type
Makes you even smell better...could cut your showering times in half!
QUOTE(Mister Fancypants @ Aug 17 2007, 05:52 PM)
QUOTE(almaty @ Aug 17 2007, 02:35 PM)
Research has discovered that taking polls makes you more physically attractive to the opposite sex
hot damn, i slicking back the hair as i type
hot damn, i slicking back the hair as i type
Makes you even smell better...could cut your showering times in half!
you know it brother stevie, now where is that wildroot...and old spice...?
blah!
67 votes. Ah, '67 - the Summer of Love. Turn on, tune in, drop out. Get naked. Grow your hair. Ah, to hell with the hair, just get naked.
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Aug 20 2007, 08:54 AM)
67 votes. Ah, '67 - the Summer of Love. Turn on, tune in, drop out. Get naked. Grow your hair. Ah, to hell with the hair, just get naked.
you brother steve, are a right thinking type of guy
get naked and grow hair where?
Cousin It was actually naked under there. Can't believe that got passed the censors.
68.
Did the last person who voted know, perchance, that 68 is a happy number?
I like to think that they did.
Did the last person who voted know, perchance, that 68 is a happy number?
QUOTE
A happy number is defined by the following process. Starting with any positive integer, the following process can be applied: replace the number by the sum of the squares of its digits, and repeat the process until the number equals 1 (where it will stay), or it loops endlessly in a cycle which does not include 1. Those numbers for which this process ends in 1 are happy numbers and those that do not are unhappy numbers.
I like to think that they did.
i learning allot on this thread and poll
bump
where is my doughnut? 
Internet diary. 8/21/07. Poll has stalled at 68. Despite Dean's courageous attempts, interest in the poll is flagging. Some members demanding doughnuts. Have no money for 68 doughnuts and no logistics system for distributing. Repeated emails to Michael Brown for help have gone unanswered. Must remain optimistic.
2 glasses Chardonnay - v good. 0 cigs.
2 glasses Chardonnay - v good. 0 cigs.
you shouldn't advertise what you can't provide 
Internet diary. 8/21/07. Contd. Received scrawled note from Michael Brown. Does not mention shipment of doughnuts, as requested. But will post online in attempt to placate poll members, nonetheless. Wish me luck!
2 more glasses Chardonnay - v bloody good. 1 burrito. 0 farts (so far).
2 more glasses Chardonnay - v bloody good. 1 burrito. 0 farts (so far).
are you having chardonnay in the morning? It's not even 11am! 
I'm still on GMT. It's 10 to 5 in the afternoon in London.
Note to self: adjust watch to Central Time, now that you've been in the US for 2 years.
Note to self: adjust watch to Central Time, now that you've been in the US for 2 years.
hey brother, it is 5 o'clock somewhere....
but remember brother Steven, brownie is doing a hell of a job..Bush
i am sure the doughnuts are being shipped
but remember brother Steven, brownie is doing a hell of a job..Bush
i am sure the doughnuts are being shipped
ah, gotcha. Now where is my brownie?
QUOTE
CHARLOTESVILLE, CAROLINA: A woman has regained her sight and has noticed that her fingers have grown back after taking poll.
Shirley McMuffin, 39, lost her sight when she was 23. "I was watching a Richard Marx video on MTV," she recalls, "and I wanted it to stop. Unfortunately, I had lost the remote and I was too fat at that stage to get up and switch channels. So I gouged my eyes out with a spoon." The following year, all her fingers were severed in a bizarre accident involving a popcorn maker and a Slinky, although Mrs. McMuffin is hazy on the details.
The miracle occurred late last Saturday night. "I was logged on to VisaJourney [an immigration internet site] and took the Biggest poll EVER. The result was instaneous. My sight returned in a flash and all my fingers began to grow back, even the blue nail polish that I used to love." Doctors have examined her eyesight and her newly-grown digits and are baffled. "It's like she never lost her sight at all," said Dr. Snuffleofflegus. "Her fingers are in perfect working order. I've only just met this woman and I'm genuinely gullible in all aspects of my life, so I can honestly say I have no idea what's happened here."
When pressed on how she managed to log onto the internet while being blind and having no fingers, Mrs. McMuffin changed the subject to her recent weight loss and asked how much she was being paid for this article as Frank is coming home from his meat-packing job soon and she wanted to take him over to Shirley's Bar & Grill for a cold one.
Shirley McMuffin, 39, lost her sight when she was 23. "I was watching a Richard Marx video on MTV," she recalls, "and I wanted it to stop. Unfortunately, I had lost the remote and I was too fat at that stage to get up and switch channels. So I gouged my eyes out with a spoon." The following year, all her fingers were severed in a bizarre accident involving a popcorn maker and a Slinky, although Mrs. McMuffin is hazy on the details.
The miracle occurred late last Saturday night. "I was logged on to VisaJourney [an immigration internet site] and took the Biggest poll EVER. The result was instaneous. My sight returned in a flash and all my fingers began to grow back, even the blue nail polish that I used to love." Doctors have examined her eyesight and her newly-grown digits and are baffled. "It's like she never lost her sight at all," said Dr. Snuffleofflegus. "Her fingers are in perfect working order. I've only just met this woman and I'm genuinely gullible in all aspects of my life, so I can honestly say I have no idea what's happened here."
When pressed on how she managed to log onto the internet while being blind and having no fingers, Mrs. McMuffin changed the subject to her recent weight loss and asked how much she was being paid for this article as Frank is coming home from his meat-packing job soon and she wanted to take him over to Shirley's Bar & Grill for a cold one.
That's an amazing story. I bet she used her toes to log in VJ 
QUOTE(Nessa @ Aug 21 2007, 11:53 AM)
That's an amazing story. I bet she used her toes to log in VJ
yeap.,..she was called Incanada
69!
How could we let such a momentous occasion pass without celebration?
So, for those of you who like to find yourself in interesting places, click here to revel in the wonder that is the number 69. I thank you.
How could we let such a momentous occasion pass without celebration?
So, for those of you who like to find yourself in interesting places, click here to revel in the wonder that is the number 69. I thank you.
brownies? cookies? doughnuts? anything?
Internet diary. 8/22/07. Not a good start to the day. FEMA have finally responded to yesterday's request for brownies. Brownies have indeed been dispatched.
No one is picking up the phone at FEMA. The Brownies are hungry. Are asking for doughnuts. Is this, I wonder, the definition of irony? *sigh*
No one is picking up the phone at FEMA. The Brownies are hungry. Are asking for doughnuts. Is this, I wonder, the definition of irony? *sigh*
still waiting for my doughnuts *taps desk* 
well, Fema sent in some narly old bear claws..brother steven had to toss them...they were baked in China...he is still working on it...dean, admin asst..
Wednesday 22nd August 2007
Dear Michael Brown,
Thank you for your swift response to my plight. However, we seem to be on crossed purposes somehow. Having returned the bears' claws, I was not expecting a shipment of camel toes instead. (The woman is question is very difficult to manage. She is threatening to eat one of the Brownies. In response, they are practising their knots on her. Send relevant badges.)
Please advise.
SteveLaura
Dear Michael Brown,
Thank you for your swift response to my plight. However, we seem to be on crossed purposes somehow. Having returned the bears' claws, I was not expecting a shipment of camel toes instead. (The woman is question is very difficult to manage. She is threatening to eat one of the Brownies. In response, they are practising their knots on her. Send relevant badges.)
Please advise.
SteveLaura
biscuit?
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Aug 22 2007, 11:16 AM)
Wednesday 22nd August 2007
Dear Michael Brown,
Thank you for your swift response to my plight. However, we seem to be on crossed purposes somehow. Having returned the bears' claws, I was not expecting a shipment of camel toes instead. (The woman is question is very difficult to manage. She is threatening to eat one of the Brownies. In response, they are practising their knots on her. Send relevant badges.)
Please advise.
SteveLaura
Dear Michael Brown,
Thank you for your swift response to my plight. However, we seem to be on crossed purposes somehow. Having returned the bears' claws, I was not expecting a shipment of camel toes instead. (The woman is question is very difficult to manage. She is threatening to eat one of the Brownies. In response, they are practising their knots on her. Send relevant badges.)
Please advise.
SteveLaura
i spanked her and put her to bed...
QUOTE(Nessa @ Aug 22 2007, 11:20 AM)
biscuit?
sister nessa, we recieved a shipment of viet nam area..canned biscuits....brother steven is selling them to poor 3rd world countries..trying to get enough $$$ to buy some..4 day old krispy kremes...dean, admin asst..
note to self..ship biscuits to Luxenborg...
QUOTE(MarilynP @ Aug 22 2007, 01:31 PM)
alright sister marilyn
71.. ah, blessed & beloved 71. Who could possibly forget the wonderful people who will forever be associated with that centered heptagonal number, largest supersingular prime, the algebraic degree of Conway's constant and (who would doubt it?) the atomic number of lutetium - 71!
Celebrate, people. You rock.
Celebrate, people. You rock.
My, I can hardly keep up! May you have those virgins in the afterlife, kind & anonymous donor!
you are managing this very well brother steven....you are on a roll...dean, admin asst
pancakes?
Thursday 23rd August 2007
Dear Michael Brown,
Thank you once again for your swift response to my request for supplies. However, may I suggest that you reconsider FEMA's decision to outsource your call center to Mexico? The charming lady I spoke to was trying her best to be helpful, but I fear she may not fully have understood what I meant by 'pancakes', despite my descriptions.
One of the Brownies drew this impression of the shipment we received this morning. Thank you for the 72 crates of these critters that you have supplied. Please send face masks and some Febreze.
The large woman you sent earlier is attempting to gnaw through her restraints. She can smell the roadkill and she's licking her lips.
I remain your most humble servant.
SteveLaura
Dear Michael Brown,
Thank you once again for your swift response to my request for supplies. However, may I suggest that you reconsider FEMA's decision to outsource your call center to Mexico? The charming lady I spoke to was trying her best to be helpful, but I fear she may not fully have understood what I meant by 'pancakes', despite my descriptions.
One of the Brownies drew this impression of the shipment we received this morning. Thank you for the 72 crates of these critters that you have supplied. Please send face masks and some Febreze.
The large woman you sent earlier is attempting to gnaw through her restraints. She can smell the roadkill and she's licking her lips.
I remain your most humble servant.
SteveLaura
Ok, I am number 73, now where's my doughnut? 
dear diary, brother steven is beginning to lose it..i caught him munching on a beaver....and then a dead animal...he talks to himself and answers his questions in a different voice..found a photo of Janet Reno in his desk..it looked stained????? i am thinking of calling 911 and the boys in the white coats..
and why are there 12 brownie scouts in the basement ..stuffing envelopes asking for donations?
....dean admin asst...
and why are there 12 brownie scouts in the basement ..stuffing envelopes asking for donations?
....dean admin asst...
Captain's log. Stardate 75201. We have been transported to a parallel universe in the year 2007. Mr. Spock has determined that we are caught in a computer network, possibly known as The Internets. Analysis has shown that a new world order is in place here, where beings are ranked according to mysterious Blue Squares and Red Hearts. One of these beings, named Stevel Aura, has picked up our distress signal and is attempting to transport us back to our time. He has configured a computer program, based on a polling system, that will create a tear in the space-time continuum when it reaches 100. All we can do is wait. In the meantime, Spock is running a datasearch on this woman:
We feel that she is somehow connected to our plight.
We feel that she is somehow connected to our plight.
QUOTE(MarilynP @ Aug 22 2007, 01:31 PM)
OH.MY.GAWD!
I'd like twelve please....starting with the chocolate ones with sprinkles....
dear diary...things have gotten worse..brother steven..is now dressed like captain kirk and keeps yelling at me.."dammit scotty, we need more power"..has a photo of janet reno on his desk...and calls the brownies scouts..klingons..i think it might be due to his intake of slim jims, pork skins and a case of stag beer..
note to self..buy him some health food..and german beer
ps..i am concerned ..there are now 25 pit bulls on the property and he keeps getting calls from bick, i think is the name ???
note to self..buy him some health food..and german beer
ps..i am concerned ..there are now 25 pit bulls on the property and he keeps getting calls from bick, i think is the name ???
"Your analysis, Mr. Spock."
"Data suggests we are still locked inside The Internets, Captain. I have been able to determine that we require a further 25 votes before we have any chance of release."
"Scotty?"
"Aye, Cap'n?"
"Engine status, if you please."
"Cap'n, we've tried every combination of manouevres I can imagine - an' sum I canna. The engines are at full stretch. I gotta pull back or we'll be losing full power."
"How long before complete engine failure?"
"Two hours, Cap'n. Maximum."
"Dammit, Scotty, we need more power!"
"Aye, Cap'n, I'll see what I can do."
"Uhuru, open a frequency."
"Yes, Captain"
"This is Captain T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. If... you can hear us... we need... doughnuts."
"Data suggests we are still locked inside The Internets, Captain. I have been able to determine that we require a further 25 votes before we have any chance of release."
"Scotty?"
"Aye, Cap'n?"
"Engine status, if you please."
"Cap'n, we've tried every combination of manouevres I can imagine - an' sum I canna. The engines are at full stretch. I gotta pull back or we'll be losing full power."
"How long before complete engine failure?"
"Two hours, Cap'n. Maximum."
"Dammit, Scotty, we need more power!"
"Aye, Cap'n, I'll see what I can do."
"Uhuru, open a frequency."
"Yes, Captain"
"This is Captain T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. If... you can hear us... we need... doughnuts."
"send more doughnuts"
bump
I am the first one to vote for "how much wood would a woodchuck..." !!!!
Caro
Caro
Internet diary. 8/24/07. Mixed day so far. Poll numbers are rising, but despite a care package from Sister Marilyn of the Blessed North - eh, we still do not have enough sustenance for the masses. Vick is calling every hour now. He's heard about the Brownies and wants to get a fight arranged. Says he knows someone who has a basement and a $1,000 on Troop 9. Kirk is also bugging me constantly. He has been affected by the shift in time and space and is delirious. Half the time he sends messages about the delithium crystals. The other half he's trying to get me a better deal on a hotel room in Deluth. Dean is on edge. Heard him talking on the phone about 'white goats' and 'stray jackets' or something. I'm worried about him. Keeps trying to feed me tofu.
Gotta run. The large woman has bitten one of the pitbulls. Gotta get it to a vet for a rabies shot.
Gotta run. The large woman has bitten one of the pitbulls. Gotta get it to a vet for a rabies shot.
mmmm mmmmmmmmm doughnuts 
took long enough for the delivery didnt it? or did Mr Spock eat the first batch 
I know scotty didnt eat them coz he prefers a haggis supper (haggis & fries to you lot) from the local chippy when enterprise docks at their nearest scottish takeaway!! hehehe
took long enough for the delivery didnt it?
or did Mr Spock eat the first batch I know scotty didnt eat them coz he prefers a haggis supper (haggis & fries to you lot) from the local chippy when enterprise docks at their nearest scottish takeaway!! hehehe
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