Full Version: Biggest poll EVER!
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i think you need to invest all your energy and time into this grand poll
so we have some anti-strawberry margarita people here 
< --- see my custom member title? who's gonna join me?
QUOTE
Tijuana, New York. UNITED NATIONS REBUKED OVER 'ILLEGAL COUNTRY' SCANDAL
There were red faces at the United Nations yesterday when it was revealed that Mexico is in fact an illegal country. Mexico joined the UN in November 1945, but the Security Council now admits that it failed to check the country's documents, assuming that it was a legitimate nation, having been recognised as such in 1821. "We're all pretty shaken by this," claimed a spokesman. "The trouble is, you can't tell if a country is legal or not just by looking at them."
Claude Heller, Permanent Ambassador to the United Nations from Mexico, remains defiant, however, since his country's illegality has been discovered. "Mexico is just doing a job that no other country wants to fill - that is, being the southern neighbour to the United States." He notes all the ways that Mexico contributes to the United Nations, but critics argue that Mexico has failed to assimilate as a country. Said an unnamed source, "Our telephone hold music here used to be Lawrence Welk. Now it's 'La cucaracha'." Officials have denied that racism will play any part in their final decision on what happens to Mexico. "We hate France just as much, and they're much lighter-skinned, by and large."
There have been calls to deport Mexico as a country and allow her to re-enter the UN through the proper channels, while others are urging the UN to adopt a 'guest-country' program. Said a pro-Mexico supporter, "Things get pretty busy regarding international relations during the summer, but tend to drop off after Labor Day. I think Mexico should be allowed to supplement some of that important work during those months, then head home afterwards."
In other news, with the announcement that Pat Roberston is supporting Rudy Guiliani, a pro-choice candidate, and the National Right to Life Committee have put their weight behind Fred Thompson, who once lobbied for a pro-choice organisation, the Ku Klux Klan have announced that they are backing Barack Obama in his bid for the presidency.
There were red faces at the United Nations yesterday when it was revealed that Mexico is in fact an illegal country. Mexico joined the UN in November 1945, but the Security Council now admits that it failed to check the country's documents, assuming that it was a legitimate nation, having been recognised as such in 1821. "We're all pretty shaken by this," claimed a spokesman. "The trouble is, you can't tell if a country is legal or not just by looking at them."
Claude Heller, Permanent Ambassador to the United Nations from Mexico, remains defiant, however, since his country's illegality has been discovered. "Mexico is just doing a job that no other country wants to fill - that is, being the southern neighbour to the United States." He notes all the ways that Mexico contributes to the United Nations, but critics argue that Mexico has failed to assimilate as a country. Said an unnamed source, "Our telephone hold music here used to be Lawrence Welk. Now it's 'La cucaracha'." Officials have denied that racism will play any part in their final decision on what happens to Mexico. "We hate France just as much, and they're much lighter-skinned, by and large."
There have been calls to deport Mexico as a country and allow her to re-enter the UN through the proper channels, while others are urging the UN to adopt a 'guest-country' program. Said a pro-Mexico supporter, "Things get pretty busy regarding international relations during the summer, but tend to drop off after Labor Day. I think Mexico should be allowed to supplement some of that important work during those months, then head home afterwards."
In other news, with the announcement that Pat Roberston is supporting Rudy Guiliani, a pro-choice candidate, and the National Right to Life Committee have put their weight behind Fred Thompson, who once lobbied for a pro-choice organisation, the Ku Klux Klan have announced that they are backing Barack Obama in his bid for the presidency.
wow, i knew it..those crafty mexicans
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 15 2007, 08:48 AM) 
< --- see my custom member title? who's gonna join me?
How did you do that?
I'll join you as soon as I figure it out. QUOTE(LoriLawless @ Nov 15 2007, 08:27 AM)
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 15 2007, 08:48 AM)
< --- see my custom member title? who's gonna join me?
How did you do that?
I'll join you as soon as I figure it out.you have to be at least a platinum member before you can change your title... you become one at about 750 posts, I think....
QUOTE(MarilynP @ Nov 15 2007, 11:28 AM)
QUOTE(LoriLawless @ Nov 15 2007, 08:27 AM)
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 15 2007, 08:48 AM)
< --- see my custom member title? who's gonna join me?
How did you do that?
I'll join you as soon as I figure it out.you have to be at least a platinum member before you can change your title... you become one at about 750 posts, I think....
Damn, well I'm with ya in spirit then Nessa.
QUOTE(LoriLawless @ Nov 15 2007, 10:33 AM)
QUOTE(MarilynP @ Nov 15 2007, 11:28 AM)
QUOTE(LoriLawless @ Nov 15 2007, 08:27 AM)
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 15 2007, 08:48 AM)
< --- see my custom member title? who's gonna join me?
How did you do that?
I'll join you as soon as I figure it out.you have to be at least a platinum member before you can change your title... you become one at about 750 posts, I think....
Damn, well I'm with ya in spirit then Nessa.
how can you not like them?? they are so yummy!! but I can't have one for another 5 months or so 
the best one I have had so far down here is at the Olive Garden
the best one I have had so far down here is at the Olive Garden
It's been so long I don't even know if I like them. I used to drink blue frozen margarita, but that was over 10 years ago and it wasn't often, like only if I qwent to a mexican pub or something like twice a year. Was never anywhere close any of my favorite drinks. I'm more of a beer person. I love the taste of beer more than any other drink, more than coke, I like it so much that if it had 0 calories and no alcohol I'd drink like water I also love Baileys, I like wine and that's pretty much it. There was a time where I'd drink tequila and when I'd drink whiskey, but they just get me drunk so fast and back then it was fun, I could handle it when I was 18, but not anymore.
I also love Baileys, I like wine and that's pretty much it. There was a time where I'd drink tequila and when I'd drink whiskey, but they just get me drunk so fast and back then it was fun, I could handle it when I was 18, but not anymore.
i think we need a poll on this,
Mmmmm, Baileys!
sanita favorite also..baileys
weel it is the week-end almost..and i noticed today that someone brought donuts in to work..i am sure it was brother steven's care package for us
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 16 2007, 09:20 AM)
weel it is the week-end almost..and i noticed today that someone brought donuts in to work..i am sure it was brother steven's care package for us
The Troll's thread about people being laid off got to me. Decided to keep you on instead. Have a doughnut. Take a lot. Take two.
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Nov 16 2007, 09:27 AM)
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 16 2007, 09:20 AM)
weel it is the week-end almost..and i noticed today that someone brought donuts in to work..i am sure it was brother steven's care package for us
The Troll's thread about people being laid off got to me. Decided to keep you on instead. Have a doughnut. Take a lot. Take two.
thanks brother steven, appreicate the vote of condidence..hey, where is FEFE today??
Welcome to a new feature here at the Biggest Poll EVER! Ask a Sadhu!
Dear Sadhu,
Last night, my girlfriend & I were watching TV when I fell asleep. By the time I woke up, she was already in bed. She turned away from me when I tried to get intimate with her and left this morning without saying a word to me. The thing is, I've started having sexual dreams about her sister, and I sometimes talk in my sleep. I'm worried that I may have said something to upset her. I love my girlfriend and don't want to break up with her. I just can't help these dreams, though. What should I do?
Sadhu writes: You have an interesting face. I think your father must have been a farmer. I am over 90 years old. Would you like to see me lift weights with my penis?
Do you have a question for the great Sadhu? Please drop us a line at the usual address. The Sadhu regrets that he cannot enter into personal correspondence.
Dear Sadhu,
Last night, my girlfriend & I were watching TV when I fell asleep. By the time I woke up, she was already in bed. She turned away from me when I tried to get intimate with her and left this morning without saying a word to me. The thing is, I've started having sexual dreams about her sister, and I sometimes talk in my sleep. I'm worried that I may have said something to upset her. I love my girlfriend and don't want to break up with her. I just can't help these dreams, though. What should I do?
Sadhu writes: You have an interesting face. I think your father must have been a farmer. I am over 90 years old. Would you like to see me lift weights with my penis?
Do you have a question for the great Sadhu? Please drop us a line at the usual address. The Sadhu regrets that he cannot enter into personal correspondence.
Dear Sadhu,
Can you please tell when Steve is going to give us our free donuts?
Best regards,
JP
Can you please tell when Steve is going to give us our free donuts?
Best regards,
JP
i do.,...
Dear Sadhu,
i work for this guy..lets say..steve..anyway, he has an illegal celery operations and lettuce lettuce farm..gives out free donuts and works the illegals in the field ...anyway, my problem or concern is, my Ho.. FEFE, seems to be missing..and steven..i mean steve, told me he is now going into the potted meat business..i noticed one of the illegals missing a hand??? has he been watching that old film..Motel Hell to often??
Dear Sadhu,
i work for this guy..lets say..steve..anyway, he has an illegal celery operations and lettuce lettuce farm..gives out free donuts and works the illegals in the field ...anyway, my problem or concern is, my Ho.. FEFE, seems to be missing..and steven..i mean steve, told me he is now going into the potted meat business..i noticed one of the illegals missing a hand??? has he been watching that old film..Motel Hell to often??
QUOTE(♥JP♥ @ Nov 16 2007, 04:50 PM)
Dear Sadhu,
Can you please tell when Steve is going to give us our free donuts?
Best regards,
JP
Can you please tell when Steve is going to give us our free donuts?
Best regards,
JP
Sadhu writes: You are the same height as my brother. He is an animal trainer in a traveling circus. Despite my great age, I am still able to stand on my head for you. I do not mind.
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 16 2007, 04:50 PM)
i do.,...
Dear Sadhu,
i work for this guy..lets say..steve..anyway, he has an illegal celery operations and lettuce lettuce farm..gives out free donuts and works the illegals in the field ...anyway, my problem or concern is, my Ho.. FEFE, seems to be missing..and steven..i mean steve, told me he is now going into the potted meat business..i noticed one of the illegals missing a hand??? has he been watching that old film..Motel Hell to often??
Dear Sadhu,
i work for this guy..lets say..steve..anyway, he has an illegal celery operations and lettuce lettuce farm..gives out free donuts and works the illegals in the field ...anyway, my problem or concern is, my Ho.. FEFE, seems to be missing..and steven..i mean steve, told me he is now going into the potted meat business..i noticed one of the illegals missing a hand??? has he been watching that old film..Motel Hell to often??
Sadhu writes: I can see by your womanly hands that you have never made chai cups. It is a good business. I have not washed my hair in 54 years. It is strong enough now to pull a plough. I will show you.
Dear Sadhu
I had this weird dream last night that I woke up and my nose kept bleeding, so hubby said he'd call my work and tell people I was going to stay home because I was sick. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up and asked him if he called work he said that he called but the woman said nobody with my name works there. Then I decided to go to work and talk to someone about it. This co-worker of mine saw me and I was sneezing and she made a comment like I don't believe you were sick. And then she said she received a nasty call from my husband, that he told her I know what your plans are, what you want Nessa to do and that he was rude to her. After that my hubby showed up and all of the sudden there was a german store that we were supposed to meet in front.
I have no idea why I'm writting this. Is there any chance I'm bored? Or do you think I'm worried I've been working too much since I've been dreaming about work?
I had this weird dream last night that I woke up and my nose kept bleeding, so hubby said he'd call my work and tell people I was going to stay home because I was sick. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up and asked him if he called work he said that he called but the woman said nobody with my name works there. Then I decided to go to work and talk to someone about it. This co-worker of mine saw me and I was sneezing and she made a comment like I don't believe you were sick. And then she said she received a nasty call from my husband, that he told her I know what your plans are, what you want Nessa to do and that he was rude to her. After that my hubby showed up and all of the sudden there was a german store that we were supposed to meet in front.
I have no idea why I'm writting this. Is there any chance I'm bored? Or do you think I'm worried I've been working too much since I've been dreaming about work?
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 19 2007, 08:58 AM)
Dear Sadhu
I had this weird dream last night that I woke up and my nose kept bleeding, so hubby said he'd call my work and tell people I was going to stay home because I was sick. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up and asked him if he called work he said that he called but the woman said nobody with my name works there. Then I decided to go to work and talk to someone about it. This co-worker of mine saw me and I was sneezing and she made a comment like I don't believe you were sick. And then she said she received a nasty call from my husband, that he told her I know what your plans are, what you want Nessa to do and that he was rude to her. After that my hubby showed up and all of the sudden there was a german store that we were supposed to meet in front.
I have no idea why I'm writting this. Is there any chance I'm bored? Or do you think I'm worried I've been working too much since I've been dreaming about work?
I had this weird dream last night that I woke up and my nose kept bleeding, so hubby said he'd call my work and tell people I was going to stay home because I was sick. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up and asked him if he called work he said that he called but the woman said nobody with my name works there. Then I decided to go to work and talk to someone about it. This co-worker of mine saw me and I was sneezing and she made a comment like I don't believe you were sick. And then she said she received a nasty call from my husband, that he told her I know what your plans are, what you want Nessa to do and that he was rude to her. After that my hubby showed up and all of the sudden there was a german store that we were supposed to meet in front.
I have no idea why I'm writting this. Is there any chance I'm bored? Or do you think I'm worried I've been working too much since I've been dreaming about work?
note to self - no more ice cream for wifey after 1800
I don't think I had ice cream last night, only Saturday night, wasn't it?
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 19 2007, 08:58 AM)
Dear Sadhu
I had this weird dream last night that I woke up and my nose kept bleeding, so hubby said he'd call my work and tell people I was going to stay home because I was sick. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up and asked him if he called work he said that he called but the woman said nobody with my name works there. Then I decided to go to work and talk to someone about it. This co-worker of mine saw me and I was sneezing and she made a comment like I don't believe you were sick. And then she said she received a nasty call from my husband, that he told her I know what your plans are, what you want Nessa to do and that he was rude to her. After that my hubby showed up and all of the sudden there was a german store that we were supposed to meet in front.
I have no idea why I'm writting this. Is there any chance I'm bored? Or do you think I'm worried I've been working too much since I've been dreaming about work?
I had this weird dream last night that I woke up and my nose kept bleeding, so hubby said he'd call my work and tell people I was going to stay home because I was sick. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up and asked him if he called work he said that he called but the woman said nobody with my name works there. Then I decided to go to work and talk to someone about it. This co-worker of mine saw me and I was sneezing and she made a comment like I don't believe you were sick. And then she said she received a nasty call from my husband, that he told her I know what your plans are, what you want Nessa to do and that he was rude to her. After that my hubby showed up and all of the sudden there was a german store that we were supposed to meet in front.
I have no idea why I'm writting this. Is there any chance I'm bored? Or do you think I'm worried I've been working too much since I've been dreaming about work?
Sadhu writes: You have skin like my sister Madhu who washes the clothes of the foreigners for a small remittance. She is shorter than me by 5 inches. I have fathered many children and my virility is still not in question. This should be evident to you.
dear sadhu,
do you think the patriots will go undefeated..?
and what's views on global warming?
do you think the patriots will go undefeated..?
and what's views on global warming?
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 19 2007, 10:32 AM)
dear sadhu,
do you think the patriots will go undefeated..?
and what's views on global warming?
do you think the patriots will go undefeated..?
and what's views on global warming?
Sadhu writes: My toenails are as strong as steel. I can put this leg behind my back with no effort. Even though the sun beats down on me relentlessly, I still do not wear a hat. The sweat is quite cooling to me.
dear sadhu,
which came first the chicken or the egg? and are you eating turkey for thanksgiving?
which came first the chicken or the egg? and are you eating turkey for thanksgiving?
Dear Sadhu,
Why does everyone want me pregnant? Where is my freaking donut?
Regards,
JP
P.S. I am not short...I'm average.
Why does everyone want me pregnant? Where is my freaking donut?
Regards,
JP
P.S. I am not short...I'm average.
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 19 2007, 01:08 PM)
dear sadhu,
which came first the chicken or the egg? and are you eating turkey for thanksgiving?
which came first the chicken or the egg? and are you eating turkey for thanksgiving?
Sadhu writes: You are a very hairless man. My cobra here is like a shaggy goat compared to you. I have all my own teeth and can crack walnuts with them, as I choose. I do not eat them as they make me loose.
QUOTE(♥JP♥ @ Nov 19 2007, 01:18 PM)
Dear Sadhu,
Why does everyone want me pregnant? Where is my freaking donut?
Regards,
JP
P.S. I am not short...I'm average.
Why does everyone want me pregnant? Where is my freaking donut?
Regards,
JP
P.S. I am not short...I'm average.
Sadhu writes: You sit like a tailor. Before becoming a Sadhu, I worked for the postal service. It is a noble profession. I have been given many gifts, but a mango is always the most appreciated. The smell is pleasing.
Dear Sadhu
I just want to say I love your wisdom. Do you think people that talk about their penis all the time have a small one?
I just want to say I love your wisdom. Do you think people that talk about their penis all the time have a small one?
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 19 2007, 01:32 PM)
Dear Sadhu
I just want to say I love your wisdom. Do you think people that talk about their penis all the time have a small one?
I just want to say I love your wisdom. Do you think people that talk about their penis all the time have a small one?
Sadhu writes: Yes.
Dear Sadhu,
Do you work for Steve? Did he give you any free donuts? Is he a good boss?
Regards,
JP
Do you work for Steve? Did he give you any free donuts? Is he a good boss?
Regards,
JP
QUOTE(♥JP♥ @ Nov 19 2007, 01:56 PM)
Dear Sadhu,
Do you work for Steve? Did he give you any free donuts? Is he a good boss?
Regards,
JP
Do you work for Steve? Did he give you any free donuts? Is he a good boss?
Regards,
JP
Sadhu writes: I have not eaten a pomegranate for over 50 years. And yet my morning stool was purple. I have kept it as proof. It is in this box. I have to keep the lid on to discourage the stray dogs from eating it.
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Nov 19 2007, 01:19 PM)
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 19 2007, 01:08 PM)
dear sadhu,
which came first the chicken or the egg? and are you eating turkey for thanksgiving?
which came first the chicken or the egg? and are you eating turkey for thanksgiving?
Sadhu writes: You are a very hairless man. My cobra here is like a shaggy goat compared to you. I have all my own teeth and can crack walnuts with them, as I choose. I do not eat them as they make me loose.
wtf? i have allot of hair ..
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Nov 19 2007, 02:00 PM)
QUOTE(♥JP♥ @ Nov 19 2007, 01:56 PM)
Dear Sadhu,
Do you work for Steve? Did he give you any free donuts? Is he a good boss?
Regards,
JP
Do you work for Steve? Did he give you any free donuts? Is he a good boss?
Regards,
JP
Sadhu writes: I have not eaten a pomegranate for over 50 years. And yet my morning stool was purple. I have kept it as proof. It is in this box. I have to keep the lid on to discourage the stray dogs from eating it.
Dear Sadhu,
why do donuts have holes in them?
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 19 2007, 02:20 PM)
Dear Sadhu,
why do donuts have holes in them?
why do donuts have holes in them?
Sadu writes: You are shiny like a new rupee. See how the sun sparkles upon your forehead. It is like a fire to warn approaching ships of the sharp rocks. I sleep standing up to avoid the street dust from irritating my genitals. I cannot abide it.
Dear Sadhu
why do birds sing?
why do birds sing?
QUOTE(Nessa @ Nov 19 2007, 02:55 PM)
Dear Sadhu
why do birds sing?
why do birds sing?
Sadhu writes: I drink from the Ganges every morning at dawn. It helps to cleanse my bowels. I once owned a cup that had a picture of a yellow smiling face upon it. But my first wife cast it upon the ground during a lively debate regarding sexual practices she deemed unusual. The strongest glue would not fix it.
Dear Sadhu,
do you think illegals should be issued work permits?
do you think illegals should be issued work permits?
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 19 2007, 03:32 PM)
Dear Sadhu,
do you think illegals should be issued work permits?
do you think illegals should be issued work permits?
Sadhu writes: You look like my nephew. His family does not leave him in the company of people for very long. He bites without warning. I have reached a great age and my bladder is that of a much younger man. My urine gushes from me as if from a fire hose.
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Nov 19 2007, 03:37 PM)
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 19 2007, 03:32 PM)
Dear Sadhu,
do you think illegals should be issued work permits?
do you think illegals should be issued work permits?
Sadhu writes: You look like my nephew. His family does not leave him in the company of people for very long. He bites without warning. I have reached a great age and my bladder is that of a much younger man. My urine gushes from me as if from a fire hose.
whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
dear sadhu,
how come you can piss like a race horse at your age?
QUOTE(almaty @ Nov 19 2007, 04:02 PM)
dear sadhu,
how come you can piss like a race horse at your age?
how come you can piss like a race horse at your age?
Sadhu writes: You have an unusual dress sense. It is distracting to me. I used to own a dancing bear when I was a much younger man. He would masturbate frequently. My first wife would leave the bedroom.
Dear Sadhu,
should I change my haircut style today or not?
should I change my haircut style today or not?
We have some very exciting news here at the Biggest Poll EVER! 20th Century Fox have bought the rights to this thread and a movie version is going into production next year! Fox are keeping their cards very close to their chest, but we can exsclusively reveal some of the actors and actresses who have expressed an interest in the first draft of the script...
- George Clooney as 'SteveLaura'
- Steve Buscemi as 'Dean Almaty'
- Julia Roberts as 'Sister Marilyn of the Double D Tanners'
- Danny Devito as 'Captain Ewok'
- William Shatner as himself
- Dustin Hoffman as 'The Moose'
- Catherine Zeta-Jones as 'FeFe'
- Tom Hanks as 'Sadhu'
- Richard Marin and Carlos Mencia as 'Workers'
- With original score by Randy Newman & Chris Cornell
Fox are touting for a director. As Dean & I are both huge 'Showgirls' fans, we're hoping for Paul Verhoeven, or maybe the Wayans brothers. We'll keep you posted!
Can I have Angelina Jolie playing me?
*** BREAKING NEWS ****
Angelina Jolie has confirmed that she in talks with Fox regarding the film 'Biggest Poll EVER!' Rumours suggest that she is interested in the role of 'Nessa'. Filming is expected to start early next year, simultaneously shooting in Rio, Cartegena & Milwaukee.
*** END ***
Angelina Jolie has confirmed that she in talks with Fox regarding the film 'Biggest Poll EVER!' Rumours suggest that she is interested in the role of 'Nessa'. Filming is expected to start early next year, simultaneously shooting in Rio, Cartegena & Milwaukee.
*** END ***
hot damn, i want a cameo so i can paw..i mean hug FEFE (catherine zeta-joens) but wtf? that weasel buscemi playing me..why not john goodman, a real actor.,..
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