thanks sister marilyn, as always a new supply of donuts..to feed the masses....

Internet diary. 10/9/07. Sister Marilyn of the Double D Tanners has saved us once again! A new supply of fresh doughnuts has arrived, having been carried all the way from California on the back of her Shetland Pony (formerly a moose). The Shetland Pony has embraced the alternative lifestyles popular in that state, and is sporting a very short haircut and tattoos. He has already become close friends with Dean's burro. They are looking to adopt a chihuahua together.

The poll has stalled once again. Much against my better nature, I have decided to issue an ultimatum.



Poll numbers must increase dramatically, or the zebra gets it.

wtf? that is no zebra...that is my pet burro, Bosco, with stripes painted on him...and where is the illegals..the hos..and the celery..and the brownies..looks like brother steven ahs flipped out.....and needing sedated again

I did warn you:

damn..i wonder where my pet burro, bosco is?

It's for a good cause, Dean.

bosco??????????????

Pull yourself together, man. There'll be other donkeys...

..damn your hide....bosco was one of a kind..just ask FEFE and janet

getting prepared to put the new fence up..to keep out the illegals..seeking donuts..also, doing it alone as my burro is missing..steven no where around..janet reno gone...times are hard..time to sing..some spiritual blues

All right, I confess. I haven't given out any doughnuts ... I hate doughnuts. I have this terrible un-un-uncontrollable fear whenever I see jelly. When I was a kid I used to hate the sight of doughnuts being eaten. My mother said I was a fool! She said the only cure for it was to become a baker. So I spent FIVE GHASTLY YEARS at the Bakers' Training Centre at Totnes! Can you imagine what it's like... making the SAME DOUGHNUT for five years? I didn't want to be a baker anyway. I wanted to be... a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The Fir! The Larch! The Redwood! The mighty Scots Pine! The plucky little Aspen! The great limping rude tree of Nigeria! The smell of fresh-cut timber! The crash of mighty trees! With my best gal by my side, we'd sing, SING...

brother steven has completely lost it..walking around in a lumberjack outfit..singing an old monty python diddy....and carrying an axe....talking about Ginger???? of gilligna's island??..throwing donuts around..and yelled at FEFE cause she her face always looks like a glazed donut in the morning

bump

Internet diary. October 19th 2007. Dean has been dropping hints all week that today is a 'special' day for him, so as a treat, I've loosened the ankle bracelet a bit and added a few links to the chain. He was so shamefully happy that he couldn't thank me to my face, just muttered under his breath.

The poll has stalled again. Obviously it can't be through lack of interest. I know that it has become a regular part of their morning ritual for many people: Coffee, Sh!t, then Biggest Poll EVER. But I seem not to be reaching everybody. So I have engaged the services of The Heritage Foundation to come up with some ideas. Here are some of the things I hastily scribbled on napkins when I met with them over lunch yesterday (for which I had to pick up the check. Man, those dudes can drink.):

• Add more Stars & Stripes to the poll
• Suggest that people who don't respond to polls are "un-American"
• Other polls are "the enemy".
• If you don't vote in this poll, then you want "the enemy" to win.
• Polls should be shrunk to the size where they can be drowned in the bathtub.
• Except this one.
• Add more kittens. And white families.
• Waiter, we need another bottle of Dom Perignon.
• Each.
• The kittens can be any colour.
• *Burp*

I'm very excited by this. I feel they may be onto something.

We're just like you!



Patriotic. Cute. White. Happy.

Vote! Because it's the right thing to do.

*cough* BUMP!

lol...that was good....and thanks for letting me finally have enough chain to go to the bathroom..the iris in my eyes were yellow and not from jaundice....also, i agree...vote on this poll or we will contact taillgunner joe mcarthy as only commies refuse to patronize this poll

brother steven, been hustling me for my lunch money..i thinking about breaking his thumbs

Internet diary. October 23rd 2007. Just a quick note as I'm on my way to the Police station to get a restraining order out on Dean. I wasn't aware he had such violent tendencies. With hindsight, maybe pissing in his morning Dos Equis wasn't one of my better ideas.

whoa, this Dos Equis tatse like piss...i am going to start drinking Sol or Negro Modelo..........

Internet diary. Wednesday 24th October 2007. Despite pandering to the patriots, there has yet to be a significant increase in poll numbers. However, it appears that the sex polls are doing very well. Therefore I have decided to indulge the masses and include gratuitous pornography.



"Yeah, baby. Slower... slower... hmm... a little slower still..."

lol....where is my snails at..i was going to dine with the french tonight??? also, what happen to my blow-up doll..it looks horrible abused...????

Bit sad today.. dunkin donuts please...

(Shhh... don't tell anyone, but I keep an emergency stash at the bottom of the filing cabinet, next to the Scotch. Help yerself. Just leave the Scotch.)

aw, nothing taste better than stolen Scotch .....and donuts........

Dean! You pisshead chopfcuk!

.....well i think that it was stolen by fefe ..yeah that's right....or maybe, janet.....

here have some of mine..

here this mellow you a bit...

need more help..this poll is the answer to world peace

I can't believe I read this whole thread.

wow, you are indeed right thinking and better person for it..it has changed many a lives...

If you clicked all the links and watched all the videos, you are qualified to call yourself Official Honorary Biggest Poll EVER Affiacianado Groupie Person. The name badges are on a table next to the toilets.

HEY, i never got one

FeFe managed to get me to give her your's. She can be very persuasive...

damn, looks like i am heading out to break off brother stevencar antenna ...and getting the pimp stick ready.....trouble is, last time i did that..FeFE worn me out with it....

hmmmm.... i guess, i have to bribe her with this devil's lettuce

Reach out your hand. Touch the screen. Close your eyes. Concentrate. Together we can do this. You are not alone. Take deep breaths. Circular breathing. Think positive thoughts. Smile. Hum if you feel the need. Now start to chant. Slowly, calmly. Keep thinking positive thoughts. And say after me:

"I believe in this poll. These numbers will increase. I believe in this poll. These numbers will increase..."

ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmh

bump...cause brother steven bringing a new supply of donuts today

I see your bump and raise you two nudges.

What kind are they?

sister, there are some 3 day old gnarly bear claws..some old tiger tails..and a few custard creams

i'm still waiting on my donut

me too

hey, the bear claws are 8 days old..and brother steven...suppose to bring a new supply but is missing in action..and where is FEFE at?

Welcome to a new feature here at the Biggest Poll EVER! We will periodically spotlight a country, bringing knowledge of far away, exotic places, and hopefully encouraging residents of that nation to contribute their vote to this poll. Today's destination: Step forward, CANADA!



Ah, Canada! My, you're a big country, aren't you? We think you're great. We love your capital, Montreal. Or Ottawa. Or Canada City. It's fab! And how cool are the Mounties?! How wonderful that you guard the Pope!!! We'd love to take a trip over to Venice & see that! (As well as the Leaning Tower of Pizza, of course! Yum!)

And who could forget those beautiful Canadian geese, the main ingredient of Canadian bacon. Too bad that your mooses are a protected species, being the primary mode of transport. I bet they're delicious too!

And here's a few curious facts about Canada: Did you know that, after the stock market crash of 1929, maple syrup was the main currency of Canada for two and a half years? Did you know that some American entertainers are actually Canadian? Like the famous comedians Dan Ackroyd, Michael J Fox and Celine Dion? And the famous singers Dan Ackroyd and Michael J Fox?

Oh, Canada! We love your log cabins, your hockey and that funny 'O' sound in 'about'. Thank you for being our neighbour, and for being rich and English speaking. Yea CANADA!

lol..