Full Version: Biggest poll EVER!
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i lheard you were giving away Hos here?
hmmm. i wonder where brother steven is..i last saw him heading of to a trekkie convention./..
can I get a bear claw?
QUOTE(Jason-Sasha @ Sep 2 2007, 11:51 PM) 
can I get a bear claw?
bro jason, those bear claws are a little gnarly
GREETINGS FROM THE TREKKIE CONVENTION, Spocksville, Arkansas:
Will beam back soon.
Will beam back soon.
damn, brother steven, took my favorite ho-ho the trekkie convention....and i just got her a cream horn
Date: Wednesday 5th September 2007
From: Shaft & Bankitt, Law Firm
To: SteveLaura
RE: Uploading of photographic images to public website
Our client, Mr. Karloff Boris Rove, has requested that you remove photographic images illegally uploaded onto the family immigration website VizJourney (sic). He attests that he is not, nor has he ever been, a fan of the television series 'Star Trek', not has any of the uniforms thereof, and cannot utlize his digits to perform the Vulcan greeting without the aid of Scotch tape (or similar). He further attests that the image illegally uploaded has been doctored ('Photoshopped' or similar), adding the 'Star Trek' apparel (henceforth known as 'Trekkie gear' or 'geekwear'). Our client is willing to attest to such in court, as he has the photo of himself in the Princess Leia gold bikini outfit from which this image of him was originally obtained.
I trust that we can consider this matter attended to.
Yours, etc.
From: Shaft & Bankitt, Law Firm
To: SteveLaura
RE: Uploading of photographic images to public website
Our client, Mr. Karloff Boris Rove, has requested that you remove photographic images illegally uploaded onto the family immigration website VizJourney (sic). He attests that he is not, nor has he ever been, a fan of the television series 'Star Trek', not has any of the uniforms thereof, and cannot utlize his digits to perform the Vulcan greeting without the aid of Scotch tape (or similar). He further attests that the image illegally uploaded has been doctored ('Photoshopped' or similar), adding the 'Star Trek' apparel (henceforth known as 'Trekkie gear' or 'geekwear'). Our client is willing to attest to such in court, as he has the photo of himself in the Princess Leia gold bikini outfit from which this image of him was originally obtained.
I trust that we can consider this matter attended to.
Yours, etc.
hmmm.. i see karl rove showed up looking for a hand-out of free doughnuts..looks great in that princess leia outfit
Internet diary. 9/7/07. Despite my sojourn at the Trekkie Convention, Spocksville, Arkansas, with the two volunteers, I have become disillusioned with the poll. Captain Kirk is experiencing some strange physical responses to the displacement of time and space. He has put on weight and his hair has fallen out. Has taken to wearing an obvious Tribble on his head.
Sister Marilyn of the Double D Tanners has not sent a care package for many days. Saw her moose on an episode of 'Extreme Makeover'. Has become a Shetland Pony.
Dean has not spoken to me since I've returned. Seems jealous about the break I took with the volunteers. Wanders around muttering about 'Bush's Brain in the basement' and 'Furry Danish Pastry Earmuffs'. He has a dark side, that man. Mark my words.
Sister Marilyn of the Double D Tanners has not sent a care package for many days. Saw her moose on an episode of 'Extreme Makeover'. Has become a Shetland Pony.
Dean has not spoken to me since I've returned. Seems jealous about the break I took with the volunteers. Wanders around muttering about 'Bush's Brain in the basement' and 'Furry Danish Pastry Earmuffs'. He has a dark side, that man. Mark my words.
wow, i am glad my "friends' are back..although, it looks like Fefe..has been vulcanized..damn, Spock ...
brother steven, looks strange and has been hoarding donuts and talking about hillary clinton and his cigar??? i did not know, he smoked...also, told me, he was hiring some illegals to harvest the crop..what crop?
brother steven, looks strange and has been hoarding donuts and talking about hillary clinton and his cigar??? i did not know, he smoked...also, told me, he was hiring some illegals to harvest the crop..what crop?
a bump for steven
99 Red balloons, Trekkies, doughnuts.... 
QUOTE(Jason-Sasha @ Sep 10 2007, 01:17 PM)
99 Red balloons, Trekkies, doughnuts....
It's the poll that keeps on giving.
here is my contribution.. 
this thread is an inspiration to all
QUOTE
Tokyo, Alabama: A new report from a leading space expert fails to rule out the possibility that the moon is made from green cheese.
Michael J. Nerdsnerd, professor of Quantum Physics at the Ronald McDonald University, Alabama, has been pondering the material substance of Earth's only natural satellite for the last seven years. "There is far from a consensus on the moon's composition," he states. "Scientists are divided on the subject, albeit not very evenly." Citing arguments that the moon "looks green sometimes" and "dairy products are cyclical - sort of," Nerdsnerd proposes that "it's possible that the rocks that have been collected and studied may actually be very old Camembert."
The professor apparently reached an epiphany after adding his vote to a poll on a popular immigration website. "It opened my eyes," he said. "I'm only now beginning to see the correlation between illegal immigrants and my ingrowing toenails." He also submitted, unasked that he was "considering voting for that Fred Thompson next year. Or maybe Miss Teen South Carolina."
The report was funded by Kraft. Professor Nerdsnerd is currently working with the Seuss Foundation & Monsanto on developing green eggs and ham that people do like.
Michael J. Nerdsnerd, professor of Quantum Physics at the Ronald McDonald University, Alabama, has been pondering the material substance of Earth's only natural satellite for the last seven years. "There is far from a consensus on the moon's composition," he states. "Scientists are divided on the subject, albeit not very evenly." Citing arguments that the moon "looks green sometimes" and "dairy products are cyclical - sort of," Nerdsnerd proposes that "it's possible that the rocks that have been collected and studied may actually be very old Camembert."
The professor apparently reached an epiphany after adding his vote to a poll on a popular immigration website. "It opened my eyes," he said. "I'm only now beginning to see the correlation between illegal immigrants and my ingrowing toenails." He also submitted, unasked that he was "considering voting for that Fred Thompson next year. Or maybe Miss Teen South Carolina."
The report was funded by Kraft. Professor Nerdsnerd is currently working with the Seuss Foundation & Monsanto on developing green eggs and ham that people do like.
banana nut muffins mmmmmmm
wow... ..i am impressed with that report brother steven
Internet diary. 9/12/07. Another mixed day. Poll has broken the century! Kirk & crew have escaped through the tear in the space-time continuum. However, he has left a couple of his Tribbles behind. I hope they won't be too much bother.
On the downside, I have received a call from LA councilwoman Jan Perry re: the free doughnuts. "The people don't want them, but when they don't have any other options, they may gravitate to what's there," she told me. I explained to her that people do want them - in quantities that I can't handle - but she is adamant that the poll is detrimental to the members' health. She has requested that I change the sign to "FREE celery!" Dean has been out looking to see if he can recruit more volunteers to help cultivate some of these stringy, green delights. Has returned with Juan and Miguel. I think they may be Greek.
As for the other crop that Master Mack Valentine and the Jazzman have been growing in the basement, Dean has taken personal control of the operation. I think gardening agrees with him. He has been much less stressed out since taking on this special project.
On the downside, I have received a call from LA councilwoman Jan Perry re: the free doughnuts. "The people don't want them, but when they don't have any other options, they may gravitate to what's there," she told me. I explained to her that people do want them - in quantities that I can't handle - but she is adamant that the poll is detrimental to the members' health. She has requested that I change the sign to "FREE celery!" Dean has been out looking to see if he can recruit more volunteers to help cultivate some of these stringy, green delights. Has returned with Juan and Miguel. I think they may be Greek.
As for the other crop that Master Mack Valentine and the Jazzman have been growing in the basement, Dean has taken personal control of the operation. I think gardening agrees with him. He has been much less stressed out since taking on this special project.
Mmmmmm, celery! Yum!
Can't get enough of that scrummy green stuff!
Dean has been out looking to see if he can recruit more volunteers to help cultivate some of these stringy, green delights. Has returned with Juan and Miguel. I think they may be Greek.
As for the other crop that Master Mack Valentine and the Jazzman have been growing in the basement, Dean has taken personal control of the operation. I think gardening agrees with him. He has been much less stressed out since taking on this special project.
note...global warming is doing wonders for my 'sweet lucy" plants...the illegals are quite handy with agriculture..who would have thought it?
hos out on the street .."pimping ain't easy FeFe" ....$$$ rolling in...
planting special herbs into organic donuts.....and then selling...cheetos...oreos cookies..and old moon pies on the side..along with mountain dew...need more illegals to help with inventory and volume...
As for the other crop that Master Mack Valentine and the Jazzman have been growing in the basement, Dean has taken personal control of the operation. I think gardening agrees with him. He has been much less stressed out since taking on this special project.
note...global warming is doing wonders for my 'sweet lucy" plants...the illegals are quite handy with agriculture..who would have thought it?
hos out on the street .."pimping ain't easy FeFe" ....$$$ rolling in...
planting special herbs into organic donuts.....and then selling...cheetos...oreos cookies..and old moon pies on the side..along with mountain dew...need more illegals to help with inventory and volume...
Did someone mention FREE celery?! Oh boy, my lucky day!!! 
not steve and laura..try these herb donuts.....celery will be an after thought..you be craving a chocodile
biscuit?
i hope sister nessa, you don't want pork gravy on top of your biscuit..
biscuit with cream cheese yummy
better for you....
I'm talking about actual food, you perv!
QUOTE(Nessa @ Sep 14 2007, 02:16 PM)
I'm talking about actual food, you perv!
sister nessa.....i was only saying cream cheese is better for you than pork gravy.....
QUOTE(almaty @ Sep 14 2007, 08:00 PM)
QUOTE(Nessa @ Sep 14 2007, 02:16 PM)
I'm talking about actual food, you perv!
sister nessa.....i was only saying cream cheese is better for you than pork gravy.....
24 days to Donuts!!
I wish I was having a donut now...
Caro
I wish I was having a donut now...
Caro
QUOTE(JVKn @ Sep 17 2007, 08:05 AM)
24 days to Donuts!!
I wish I was having a donut now...
Caro
I wish I was having a donut now...
Caro
knock yourself out sister caro....
"Welcome to our Fall pledge drive for VJ's biggest poll ever. We'll be taking your calls and pledges for your support of the historic event happening in VisaJourney right now. Our first caller is Dean and he's calling from Illinois. Hello Dean!"
"Hello? You must help me! I'm being held prisoner in a basement. I'm forced to sleep between a large woman with a camel toe and Karl Rove in a gold bikini..."
"Er, would you like to pledge your support for the biggest poll ever, caller?"
"You don't understand. The Brownies keep singing 'Kumbaya' and I've got Tribbles in unmentionable places..."
"Um, thank you for your call. We now go to Jan from Reno. Hi Jan, you're on the air."
"Hello? It's me again. You must do something. I have two naked men wrestling in front of me..."
"Please get off the air, caller, you're blocking our lines. Just to remind you, we're looking for pledges to the biggest poll ever."
"If it wasn't for them ho's, I would've been out of here months ago..."
"We'll be back after these messages."
"Hello? You must help me! I'm being held prisoner in a basement. I'm forced to sleep between a large woman with a camel toe and Karl Rove in a gold bikini..."
"Er, would you like to pledge your support for the biggest poll ever, caller?"
"You don't understand. The Brownies keep singing 'Kumbaya' and I've got Tribbles in unmentionable places..."
"Um, thank you for your call. We now go to Jan from Reno. Hi Jan, you're on the air."
"Hello? It's me again. You must do something. I have two naked men wrestling in front of me..."
"Please get off the air, caller, you're blocking our lines. Just to remind you, we're looking for pledges to the biggest poll ever."
"If it wasn't for them ho's, I would've been out of here months ago..."
"We'll be back after these messages."
brownies anyone?
log:..... damn, i stuck here in a basement with a nokia cellphone, that had a battery that exploded, and Newt Gringrich is shirtless..and janet reno is pantless (hey, it was dark and i was drunk)..anyway, ..hang on..hey man, put that back in your pants...................................
Dean, you know you're not allowed on the computer until Janet has been satisfied. Now, are you going to comply, or do I have to get out Mr. Flibble?
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Sep 18 2007, 01:27 PM)
Dean, you know you're not allowed on the computer until Janet has been satisfied. Now, are you going to comply, or do I have to get out Mr. Flibble?
not the dreaded mr flibble?????? janet, come here...time for some deep breathing exercises... 
i am going to ahte myself later today..note to self..order more vodka
Dear Abby,
I recently agreed to help out a friend in need who was having business problems. Since agreeing to help, I feel I have been taken advantage of. My business partner forces me to sleep in his basement and perform sexual favours on Janet Reno. I have not had a day off in several weeks, and I am not allowed out unless I am accompanied by my 'bodyguards', Mack Master Valentine and The Jazzman. I am fed weeks-old bear claws - recalled from China - and have become a babysitter for a troop of Brownies. I have to sidestep two naked men wrestling in order to go to the bathroom. My question is this: which of my CDs should I be playing in order to get the former Attorney General in the mood - Barry White's Greatest Hits or 'Vintage' by Michael Bolton?
Dean, Illinois
I recently agreed to help out a friend in need who was having business problems. Since agreeing to help, I feel I have been taken advantage of. My business partner forces me to sleep in his basement and perform sexual favours on Janet Reno. I have not had a day off in several weeks, and I am not allowed out unless I am accompanied by my 'bodyguards', Mack Master Valentine and The Jazzman. I am fed weeks-old bear claws - recalled from China - and have become a babysitter for a troop of Brownies. I have to sidestep two naked men wrestling in order to go to the bathroom. My question is this: which of my CDs should I be playing in order to get the former Attorney General in the mood - Barry White's Greatest Hits or 'Vintage' by Michael Bolton?
Dean, Illinois
Ok, now I'm pi$$ed. I wanted a d@mn doughnut. Screw you guys, I'm going home.
We do have a special on celery today..?
QUOTE(SteveLaura @ Sep 19 2007, 09:00 AM)
Dear Abby,
I recently agreed to help out a friend in need who was having business problems. Since agreeing to help, I feel I have been taken advantage of. My business partner forces me to sleep in his basement and perform sexual favours on Janet Reno. I have not had a day off in several weeks, and I am not allowed out unless I am accompanied by my 'bodyguards', Mack Master Valentine and The Jazzman. I am fed weeks-old bear claws - recalled from China - and have become a babysitter for a troop of Brownies. I have to sidestep two naked men wrestling in order to go to the bathroom. My question is this: which of my CDs should I be playing in order to get the former Attorney General in the mood - Barry White's Greatest Hits or 'Vintage' by Michael Bolton?
Dean, Illinois
I recently agreed to help out a friend in need who was having business problems. Since agreeing to help, I feel I have been taken advantage of. My business partner forces me to sleep in his basement and perform sexual favours on Janet Reno. I have not had a day off in several weeks, and I am not allowed out unless I am accompanied by my 'bodyguards', Mack Master Valentine and The Jazzman. I am fed weeks-old bear claws - recalled from China - and have become a babysitter for a troop of Brownies. I have to sidestep two naked men wrestling in order to go to the bathroom. My question is this: which of my CDs should I be playing in order to get the former Attorney General in the mood - Barry White's Greatest Hits or 'Vintage' by Michael Bolton?
Dean, Illinois
i pissed myself reading that...
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