It's another painfully slow day at work!


Big plans for everyone???

Today is my thursday! I had to sub for someone on Sunday so I am one day ahead.. then I still get Sat and Sunday off so it's a 3-day weekend Today we're buying Mensef things! We're having my Rabbi and his wife and 2 youngest children over for dinner in our non-dining-tabled house. Dh wants to do Mensef, and I already made stirfry wraps, so it's going to be completely eclectic.I thought if I do the wraps as an appetizer, then it won't look as odd. I also candied some rose petals last night and am going to put them on top of some chocolate cupcakes I am going to make for desert. I figured cupcakes are good because they are small servings and mostly because this way I can eat some tonight and not mess up a cake display.

what is mensef?


I have a wicked sore throat and today I work till 7 so I'm just sucking it up and putting one foot in front of the other. I think I caught something from the guy in front of me on the flight from Milan. Oh well such is life.

Hope everyone has a good one!

Hump day and I have the day off

Happy hump day everyone!

http://www.sptsb.com/CityNoor13.jpg

It's like that above, only we're doing chicken instead of lamb. It's rice and meat, with a yogurt sauce. the yogurt doesn't taste like yogurt we think of though, it's like a buttery/salty kind of flavor with a slight tang. Basically, for those who hate yogurt (me), it's totally edible. It's traditional Jordanian-area food. We laughed on our excavation about the whole prodigal son (parable in the Bible) coming home to mensef.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww

my son freaked out when I left him at school... I heard him crying and screaming while I had to walk away... then I got into my work... Late.. and my boss said if I am having so many family issues maybe I should take a week off.... but I cant cause i have to support 4 people.. plus.. staying at home for a week.. would be pure H*LL

the doctor is up my A$$ today....

I wish I could run away
i feel like throwing up

Have you considered looking for a new job, Dee? It doesn't sound like a comfortable working environment.

Dee, I'm afraid I am going to come off as being blunt, but honey when personal issues start to impact your life outside of your personal life, the time has come for some serious changes. I think we all know this at some level and it is easier said than done. I wish you the best. It sounds like you are drowning and can't get out.

Yo Happy Wednesday! Laura, time to pull out your 'hump day' pic....you know the one (teal truck )

Off to do paperwork at my desk for a few hours then measure a house or two. It's my day off so I can wander around at my leisure.

Note to self: never try to switch the dining room with the living room again. It was a good idea at the time,,but silly

Have a great day mena peeps.

Jackie

dee hopes your day gets better

Hey all. Glad it's hump day, will be happier when it's Friday. The heat is killing me. Out in it for four hours. The money is good though, don't want to pass that up. How's everyone doing here. Just checking in. Sure you guys missed me...that was a joke, don't take it seriously.

Have a great Humpty Dumpty Day!

I dont know if this is my hump day i only work 4 days a week Mon Wed Fri Sat. So i gess i dont have a hump day. But i do work from noon till 10 pm. Its a long day. Wishing everyone a GREAT DAY!

woohoo, lunch time on the east coast....my day is half over but I always find myself running on Cairo time! My fiance took a couple days off to "do paperwork" so I guess he got packet 3 (I am engaged to the most stubborn man in the world, I keep asking him about packet 3 but he would tell me he doesn't have it even if he does because he likes to TEASE....well, he doesn't know how bad *I* can tease so...)

I have no idea what I want to eat for lunch...maybe something from panera bread or subway or something

Dee, hope your day gets a lot better!

Maybe take a week off and go to family counseling? It can't hurt right? Does the iman do that?

Honestly, doodle, from what I know about Dee's husband, I don't think he's the type who would accept any type of counseling. Many MENA ppl associate counseling/psychology with "craziness" or mental instability. Him going to a counselor would be the same as him admitting he's nuts and has a problem. In his mind he probably doesn't think there is a problem. Not with him anyways. My ex was like that.

Unfortunately I think you are right. Maybe some just don't adapt at all when they get here.

I meant to edit...when I said it was the same as admitting he's nuts I didn't mean he IS nuts. I hope it wasn't taken that way.

I read it the way you meant it

In Dee's situation, she can seek some counseling without him. I think they coul dboth benefot, but like Moody says, some men won't do it. Dee , you need to find some tools for coping with this that help you ... Maybe the Imam woul dbe a good choice since he will most likely be familiar with issues of immigration? Going alone might be a good idea, it won't resovle the issues that are making dee "crazy" but might give her some new strategies for handling them.

I think Dee is pretty smart. If she thinks it's time to throw in the towel, she's probably thought of all the other choices ahead of that. The worst thing I ever did was NOT listen to my gut at a time like Dee is describing.

I also think there is a lot of excusing these guys' behavior going around here. They are adults. They need to buck up or sut up and get out.

He came on K3. He can go home for a month and reassess his willingness to be an adult in this marriage.

Do you really think an imam is going to be impartial so that Dee gets fair counseling? In my experience, an imam who is impartial enough to see the woman's side and agree with her is extraordinarily rare.

I mentioned the imam because I know her husband is very religious but I agree 100% with peezey here. (omg did i just say that?????)


Certain things can be excused due to culture, etc. but bottom line these men are adults and should act accordingly.

Yep Some things are inexcusable no matter what.

I wasn't being snarky, I'm seriously asking. Imams don't get real counseling training, most are immigrants, most are not going to see the woman's stress in all this. I'm just trying to talk in realities here, there is clearly an emergency situation in Dee's household and she needs support and ideas she can actually follow through on that will help her clear her head and make some decisions either way.

Dee, is there a single mother's support group you know of? I think this is extra hard for single mothers. You already have people relying on you, then this grown man comes here and demands attention and energy you just don't have. Plus, you expected he'd be HELPING you, not draining you.

Although we are not married, i have to say also Peezy good post , from what i was picking up on some of this, there is/was to much pampering some (not necessarily this case) these are grown men, and it does seem to be happening alot lately.

I don't know everyone's SO status...

But I'm wondering if the some of the people that excuse the behavior don't have their SO here yet. Don't care what region/religion/race....NEVER let someone walk all over you!

It's great to work towards a happy medium, but don't give up yourself.

Looking for single mom support groups are a great idea. Being one right now myself, since Hicham is stuck in Morocco, the support system I have to help me with our little boy is life-saving! Most big cities have some sort of group and they have access to SOOOOO many resources.

Excellent post Sometimes people just need a swift kick in the arse.

I thought this same thing after I hit the post button. My experience is that many imams come with certain ideas of women, of marriage that is not necessaily goingto help her situation. I think it depends on the imam, what country he comes from, which school of jurisprudence he favors, so many other things. I've only met one in my life I would trust to confide in.

Just thought I would let you all know that we are SSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL waiting for Rome to "log in" Hicham's file! AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

They haven't updated their case list yet either so we don't know if they have it logged in yet.

That is just plain unacceptible. I hate that we cannot hold these people accountable for their actions/inactions!!!!!


on a side note I ate waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much for lunch

you know, Dee, I forgot he came here on a K3 with multiple entries. My hubby and I stuck through some tough times because on a K1 while we were waiting for EAD and stuff he COULDNT leave without abandoning the whole process. Its true that your husband can come and go, maybe it IS a good idea to tell him to go if its so bad for him here and he can think it through again back home.....

Let's all just take a tript o Rome and see what we can do! Rome? come on...how can this be a bad idea?

Seeing as Casa sent his file on June 14th and they STILL don't have it....GRRRRRR... really makes me mad.

Deema - I think, too, that it might be a good idea for him to go back home for a "visit" if it's so bad here. I just hope things work out for you. I cannot imagine having the stress of all that and the stress of just being a mom too!

Hang in there!



Not like we couldn't get some seriously good eats there too!!!!

I'll start booking the flight!!

I'm in!

Anch'io!!!!!!

Wish i had the $ to go with ya.

(((Scratching chin))) Soooo... "they" don't recognize depression or mental illness or when someone needs support. Now I get it. I've been telling my Husband for the past 6-7 months I need to see a professional because I feel blue because of being apart and this visa stuff is complicated and stressful. He tells me "NO" right away and I don't understand because he's a Doctor and he should know.

Oh boy am I ever going to have to correct him of this if he wants to practice medicine here. Hmmm mmmm mm.

God bless you.

you guys are cracking me up today

We're going to Italy? Count me in!

I am SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO slow.....

I kept reading your post, Doodle, wondering why in the world you were saying "God Bless"...

Now, I get it!!!!

I'm not blonde either!!!!!!

Hump day is over rated.

I had the BEST breakfast in Milan on the way back home!!! A cappucino (authentic) and a chocolate croissant. YUM!!!!! The cannolis looked weird though so I didn't get any for the ride home even though I was looking forward to bringing some home. They had lemon stuff on them and looked wet almost.

YUMMMMMMMYY...tiramisu and lasagne...... oh and brick oven baked pizza and calzone oh let me stop now

Trader Joe's has awesome tiramasu!!!

yes but there is something added to the taste when you actually eat tiramisu in Italy!! Now stop trying to take away my excuses doodle!!

Oh yum! I go to the Farmer's Market on Sat. and get a Chocolate Croissant when I can.

glad to read that you went through tough times and stuck it out We hear a lot of the negative stuff on VJ.. I am shocked that after such a long process..even the thought of your so leaving after a short period of time is acceptable..people are willing to easily let their love go..marriage is hard..even more so when your SO comes from a different country..their is a solution..but finding it may not be quick and easy.

Is it Thursday yet? My husbands '100 Days In America' celebration starts tomorrow

If the behavior of your SO is affecting your children then it's time to take some action. No way would I allow my husband to make my children uncomfortable in their home. Children come first.