Hi,

I just got home and hour ago. Usama had his interview a few hours after he dropped me off at the airport so I haven't heard from him about it until just now. Here's what happened and I'm so pissed off it's not even funny.

1) LAST Sunday we both went together to the embassy and waited for ONE HOUR before they gave us a number. We were number one. After one MORE hour we asked what was happeneing and they said they forgot about us so they said wait here. We waited another hour (we're up to 3 hours now) and a woman called his name. She looked not too pleased with him and asked him for his papers. He gave them to her and then she said that she needed to look over his file. We sat back down and then after a few minutes she called us back up again. She told him to pay the DHL fee and then to sit down. We did and then after a few more minutes she called us up again and said the consular never showed up to work today and we'd have to come back another time to have the interview. She made it for the 29th at 8am.

I'll talk about the trip at another time since i'm fuming right now.

He went to the Embassy and was called after a little while. I don't have exact miniscule details that I want because the poor thing hasn't slept and has been crying since I left him so I got what I needed for info and then told him to go to bed.

He got a black guy who I guess hated Usama from the start. He asked him if he wanted to have the interview in English or in Arabic so he said English thinking it would look better. Then the guy apparently talked wicked fast and looked like he was annoyed at Usama for even being there for some reason.

He asked how we met.

He asked when we got married.

He asked WHEN WE FIRST HAD SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF IS THAT ALL ABOUT THAT IS NONE OF THIS LITTLE PUKE'S BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Usama told him that I was there for the date the interview was SUPPOSED to happen but the guy could have given two shits. He gave him the paper telling him that he needed admin review and that he needs to bring in two more pictures. (he had already brought 4 extras and gave it to him but they wanted two more)

Then he said they'll be in touch in 1 to 2 months.

Never took his passport.

That was it. I'm pissed. I want to complain to someone but I don't wanna fk it up you know??????

plus i'm jet lagged and my ankles look like elephant woman and this post posted too soon so I had to edit all this in.

i hate my life right now.

Its ok, just get them the two pics and im sure it will all be fine. It sounds like your in AR/AP welcome to the club. It really makes little difference or not if he had a chip on his sholder you did not get denied. Don't think to much about it you did all you could do and it seems things are on the right track even if it was less than reassuring , at best I think you just get someone indifferent. I hope you can rest, I know these next few days will be so hard.
Your in my prayers.
water girl

I am very sorry this happened. It will all work out in the end Just stay strong which I know is easy for me to say. You are in my thoughts and prayers

How do I know he was not denied? Everyone else had their passports kept. I mean he paid the DHL fee and they don't keep the passport???? Makes no sense.

And it's NOT ok. That was downright rude and inappropriate to ask about our sexlife. What's next if this is acceptable behavior? What position we prefer? Should we just bump uglies on the freakin' counter for proof?????? You have no idea how I'm trippin' over that question. My husband alhumdulilah kept his cool and stated that we waited till after we were married but ONLY 'cause I coached him that he should suck whatever they give him up but had I not done that and were that anyone else he would have ###### slapped the mofo.

OH MY GOD!!!.................my husband had the same guy........he has a reputation for being EXTREMELY slow and I've tried asking a few others on here about who they had as their consular officer and it seems that a lot of people who had him have been on AP (translate as the file has been sitting on a desk somewhere collecting dust) FOREVER....

my husband was asked the very same questions.....except for the last one which I think is COMPLETELY rude of him to ask.......why the he$$ do they need to know THAT???

and it sucks that they made you waste a day from your vacation the first time you went to the embassy.

I hope the rest of your stay was pleasant.....try to get some rest....you're probably exhausted.

I agree that was out there and not appopriate at all. I have heard of othes I think it was Nouna they did not keep the passport and he did you give u the standard A/AP reply.
obviously the interviwer was not kind. but maybe he was just trying to stress your husband and to see his reactions under stress. They all have different styles I gather. You can't read to much into the passport thing though. It seems they do it both ways, yet another way they are inconsistent. Im sorry they treated you so badly , it's not right.

Whoa back up...so the consular that interviews you is the one in charge of your case from start to finish????? I just assumed they willy nilly picked who interviews and then the papers with comments from interview went to another dept to finish up.

If that is the case I'm wondering if I can request that the case be assigned to a different consular due to sexual harassment. Any thoughts? I'm serious about this. This was just abuse. He was trying to get a rise out of him and I'm sorry but my sex life is OFF LIMITS to the US Gov't.

maybe we need to take a poll to see who had the same consular guy and how long they've been in waiting.....





and don't feel bad about the passport thing.....they didn't keep my husband's passport and a few others on here also were not asked for their passports......

and so the waiting continues.............

Hi Doodle and welcome back! We missed you. I hope you get some rest and I completely know how you feel about the elephant ankles I got those after a long road trip to Monterrey, Mexico and I looked deformed!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I am sorry to hear that the interview was so screwy and that you guys have been upset. I also had the fear that the officer would ask about our sex life because my hubby would freak out! I don't know why they would ask stupid questions like that! Especially in a country where they should know it's disrespectful to talk about your wife in that way.............Come to think about it, it's disrespectful in any country! They are a bunch of jerks.

And about paying the DHL fees and them not keeping the passport, we did the same thing. Because we paid the fees before the actual interview. After our denial, they gave us back the passport, but I think they keep the receipt from DHL. Just to be sure, though. Make sure that when your hubby takes or sends his passport to the embassy that he makes a copy of the DHL receipt to go along with it. I don't think that you were denied, but a follow-up email might help you get a clear answer.

Talk about rude behavior! The consular doesn't show up for work and you guys get treated like crap! I had a similar experience in that during our interview, the consular stepped away from the window and took personal phone calls/text messages for about 20 minutes and walked around laughing with co-workers! So unprofessional!!!! And, I handwrote a letter to the consular general and had it hand delivered to their office ( what good it will do, I have no idea) and told them that our interview was not conducted properly and that the officer was rude. (btw, his officer wasn't the black guy, it was a chubby white guy)

Even if you do complain to their office, it will probably go into the huge pile of "we could give a sh!t" correspondence.

I hope you can find some comfort here in venting with your fellow VJers. And, I hope you get some rest and relaxation soon. You sound very stressed

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

NIKI

-hugs- you're in my thoughts, doodle!!!! If you're not already in contact with your local congressman. I would bring this to their attention instead of the consulate and they might be able to step in and help. No one deserves this kind of harassment and you guys already put up with enough b.s.

welcome back doodle

Welcome back Doodle!

Sorry to hear about this awful experience. I hope that this is just a standard AP and that you will have your husband at your side soon.

Take care,
Dorothy

Doodle, it doesn't sound like you were denied....I've seen people going through Cairo post both scenarios they keep the passport and they give it back, so don't read too much into that. You are in for the hard part now..the wait through Cairo. I think the suggestion to write a well thought out professional sounding email asking about te interview is a great idea. Be sure to include the facts of your case while you were there and why you would like clarification.

Take care of yourself now above all else.

Hi Doodle,

Sorry to hear what happened? THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I'VE HEARD OF AN OFFICER ASKING THE PERSONAL QUESTION though, it happened to my sis and a few others she knows. I know you are upset, but I would let it go until after he has visa in hand. No telling what this guy will do if he gets wind that you're making complaints. By the way your hubby didn't get denied, just have him take a couple more pics and you'll be fine. Sometimes they keep the passports, sometimes they have the immigrant sent it in right before they are ready to issue the visa so no worries there.

I hope you are feeling better and get some rest.

LL

I agree with this. Postpone your anger until this guy doesn't have your life in his hands.

And from what I've read in the Sub Saharan Africa forum, the sex question is fair game. Seems awfully invasive to me as well, but if they're allowed to ask that question in Nigeria, then I guess they can ask it in Egypt too.

I know it may not seem like a victory, but I do think congrats are in order for a successful albeit stressful interview!

God, Doodlebug, I feel soo bad for you. Sounds like you were in Casa!!! You are in my prayers!!! Debbie

Hey glad you are back safely and so so sorry about your interview experience. That is not right that they are asking these kind of questions, but from what I have seen they can do pretty much whatever the f--k they want and get away with it. Sam had to pay the DHL fee and they did not keep his passport either so that is not out of the ordinary, but then again I don't think any thing is with Cairo except inconsistent and slowww. Rest up and calm down and be glad that this part is over and get ready for the next part...........AP.

I hope that the rest of your trip was wonderful and you have good memories of that time together.

hahahaha...haven't caught my egypt in the summer thread yet, eh? lol

Wow that would have had me fuming too.

I agree with the others... doesn't sound like u were denied, its just a shame you got
the consular with the power trip and doesn't understand there are boundaries in his position.

Hope he gets his visa soon!

I have asked him to scan the paper that was given to him and after I finish reading through it I'll be able to write to the consulate. Until then I'm just going by what he's telling me and he's kind of confused. He seems to think he needs to do the administrative review himself. lol. I just want to make sure nothing is in there that is telling him that.

Welcome back Doodle..ur thread about summers in Egypt was a riot..my SO told me it was so hot I would not move if I went there.,..hahaa and so hot that even a cold shower would feel hot... you overcome it though girl and got to see ur man as well!! and had some laughs....or not so much...

Hope that ur A/P is quick and painless and ur SO is here w/u soon!!!! -Melinda

well the CO didnt keep adams passport ... he had a younger black guy and was polite with him... so did anyone have a guy like that for the CO??? i cant imagine being asked about our sex life... that is wayyyyy off limits ... could get u fired in the work place so how could they ask that and why would they ask that ??? dang!

Maybe the Egyptian Consulate has seen your posts about sex on this board and decided that since you were so open about it, that it was fair game.

Glad you made it back Doodle! From the sounds of it you have had quite the experience. Glad you survived it! Was very funny for us or not for you! Sorry that it was the time from you know where! Hang in there! Some day you will look back on this together and laugh!

Oh doodle Im sorry that happend to you. I cant believe the nerve of that guy to ask such questions. I mean is that even right, can he be reported? Things like that just piss me off so much. How man people be so sicK??? I hope that you can get the extra two pictures that they requsted so that you can get your case moving and done with AP quickly.

I've heard about this black guy... I think he is notorious for his attitude

I agree that this sort of question should not be asked, but I have heard of it happening in other countries too. Usually countries with strong cultural norms. I think once it happened to someone interviewing in India, a place where sex outside of marriage is still strongly frowned on. So they may ask to find out if the relationship was based on sex or love. But I rarely hear about that question being asked so it might just be a rare occurrence.

There is a difference between joking on an annonymous board about things and having the United States Government demanding to know intimacies about your sexual practices. Glad to see you still have a stick up your azz though Sarah.

Still none of their damn business. Besides, how would they know if you were lying or not?

Exactly my thoughts. I honestly think this guy was just a big jerk and was trying to do anything to get my husband to "crack" under pressure. Luckily this is one of the things we had gone over before hand. I had told him that one guy on here (i forget his name but he recently came here from Cairo and was an opthamologist) blew up at a guy interviewing him in Cairo and as a result his case got delayed a whole year so I told him to suck up any anger and just be calm and answer the questions no matter how much it may anger him. He did just that and hopefully it was the right thing to do. The guy, btw, asked this question in a different manner at first and Usama just ignored it and then he got completely blunt in the question and made it like he HAD to answer no matter what. I guess we won't know if it was ok to answer or not until he gets or does not get the visa.

Again..the anger is due to the fact that the US Gov't is demanding to know something that I think has crossed the line as far as things my gov't needs to know. It's one thing to joke about things willingly but to be forced to answer this stuff in my opinion is over the top. I have decided to let it go until he gets the visa and then I'll file a formal complaint. Hopefully that will help someone in the future.

Welcome back, Doodle !

I know the question about your sex life was really insulting, but I have heard of COs asking such things at interviews at other consulates. Maybe it's a test to see if the beneficiary gets flustered or upset -- many of the questions in the interviews seem deliberately designed to probe "hot button" topics. A "liar" or "fraud" will often get angry or upset when questioned intensely about details, so this line of questioning can light the fire under them. Or maybe the question is related to the cultural norms of the country, as Stina mentioned.

Anyway, I guess this type of inquiry is not against their rules, as it keeps happening. If I were you, I wouldn't bother writing a complaint letter to anyone -- at best, it will be ignored... and at worst, they might scrutinize your case even more stringently.

The important thing is -- it doesn't look like you were denied insha'allah. So I would advise just gritting your teeth (of course you are always allowed to vent here !) and don't stress yourself any more about the AR. Hope it's over soon so you can start with the next round of tests to your sanity -- acclimating your husband to a new life... and of course AOS !



-MK

Hey Doodle! Yeah, those questions suck! They're even more fun at the airport in front of hundreds of other people!

I wonder, based on my really limited knowledge of interview techniques, whether they ask the questions about sex just to see what sort of reaction they get out of the person, and also because once you're rattled it's harder to stick to a script. That is, if your husband has been planning on lying (not saying that he is) or fraudulent and they threw him with a question about sex, it might make his story harder to stick to. Maybe on the assumption that a guy using a woman for a green card wouldn't care about a sex question, but a guy being interrogated about someone he loves and their sex life would react angrily.

Write them a nice calm letter once all this is over inquiring.

OMG I was questioned coming into Boston even! The guy said, where did you originate from and I said Egypt. He asked the nature of my visit and I said to see my husband. He said what is he doing there and I said he lives there. He said what does he do for work and I said he is a salesman. He said what does he sell and I said beauty products to various salons in Cairo.

Then he let me go. It wasn't long but I kept thinking, what does he care what he sells and how would he even know if I was lying through my teeth???

When I flew home with my husband in '03, a CIS officer pulled us aside...keep in mind we were LEAVING the country... and wanted to know where we were going, where we were staying and what we were going to be doing. He wanted to know how much money we had on us. We only had $200 because we were going to stay with his parents the whole time. They guy gave us a hard time because he said that there was no way $200 was going to last us for two weeks and accused us of lying. I was like WTF!!!! He eventually let us go and board the plane. I couldn't believe it!

I'm always grilled.. Rome was the worse.. I'll never fly though there AGAIN!!!!!

I was never asked anything out of the ordinary and I've been through Detroit, Chicago, London, Frankfurt and Alexandria. They've only asked the standard...where are you going and where have you come from? If that. Last POE (Chicago) I wasn't asked a single thing. Stamped my passport and sent me through.

Well he just called me bawling his eyes out.



On top of missing me he is convinced that he was denied because in the waiting room they had a video showing that when people get that paper they are denied. I tried calming him down and stressed that he has to scan it but he said the person who owns the place where he can scan it is away so he's going to show me tonight through the webcam. That sucks 'cause I'll barely be able to see it.

Does anyone have a sample form showing the part checked off stating that they're just in AR/AP so I can show him that to make him feel better? It tried telling him that the guy he had was famous for being a d!ck and he did laugh a bit over that but he is convinced the guy denied him and has been crying ever since and hasn't been able to sleep. I feel so helpless.

mohamed never got a paper...... are you sure its not a 221g whatever ????

I have no idea what it is since I haven't seen it yet. He never got a paper????

The paper is probably because they asked him for 2 more pictures. This form was given to us after our I-130 interview cause we had to send in proof of our relationship. They also gave us this form when we were told we needed a cosponsor. They checked 2 boxes on our paper. One to get a cosponsor, and one to send in the passport with the information. Just ask him which box is checked on the paper. There is a box for administrative processing and one for photos. Good luck.

He said the photo box was checked and the administrative processing box was checked.

I can't take it anymore so I just emailed the embassy and asked them to clarify our situation for him. If they hadn't showed that video in the waiting room stating that when you get this paper you are denied he wouldn't be freaking out but oh well. At least now I'll hopefully get some answer from the horse's mouth that will clear things up for the both of us.

They show a video in the waiting room? Geeez, this embassy sure goes out of its way to try to make people give up! I think it's just a scare tactic. I would have initially freaked out too but the bright side is we have already seen them put everyone else through hell to get a visa (ok so its not a bright side but you get my point) so they are just doing the same to you.

I wouldnt really worry about it, from what I have read this embassy is really behind on their cases or just plain stupid and can't keep up with their workload. I think they asked for more pics so they could stall for more time.

Sounds like things went well even though the man asked some very personal questions. Hope your AP is a short one!!

Jen

Hey Doodle.
I'm sorry to hear you had such a wild experience. I know it's frustrating. Unfortunately they can ask THOSE questions to as one way of finding out if you are really married. I agree that they shouldn't, but it's on the list of questions sometimes asked at interviews. Just wait until AOS! We got asked similar questions at our AOS interview, so I do understand your anger and embarassment. It's not for the world to know. So while I share in your anger, you didn't get denied. Like you've heard a million times on here already, sounds like standard AP and the worst part is behind you. Hope yours is speedy.

My Moh didn't get a paper either.

I just asked him about the video that Usama said he saw there. Moh said he wasn't shown any type of video and there wasn't even a TV anywhere in the waiting area. This must be something new. Has anyone else's SO seen a video or anything?

there was NO tv when I was there either... this must be a new thing

Well I was in that waiting room and it was a large screen tv and it showed someone getting an interview and a happy person walking away with a visa and a sad person walking away with a paper.

The confusing thing is that the people in the waiting room were there for the lottery visa, work visa and visitor's visa. There were TONS of people waiting and every so often someone official would come and say "who is here for the visa" and we went up once and they said, "no no no, not immigration.....VISA"


So maybe the sad person with the paper is only for the lottery visas and non of that video had to do with immigration.

I dunno. So screwed up I tell ya they don't know their azz from their elbow over there. Half the employees were just sitting outside in the outside waiting area smoking cigarettes and drinking tea all day. ( or at least the whole 4 or 5 hours we were there)

Doodle, I'm just wondering of the Consulate Officer's part was played by a demon or something?????