Hello everyone....

I think Doodle is on her way home today... I cant wait to hear about her trip

I am hoping to go to the Science Museum today.. But I dont know what my husbands mood will be once he gets out of bed

and the current status of me is... things are still the same.. there are some Good MOMENTS.. but that seems to be about it..

He has stopped about the work/ business crap for the moment... i think from the talk from that Loan guy...

His moods are volatile..

My house is constantly TRASHED...... I've never had SOOO much food wasted and thrown away.. I am constantly exhaused trying to correct his moods... I wake up yawning...

edit : And his family constantly reminds me that they are waiting for a baby

That really sucks...OUT LOUD!!! I had so hoped that things were getting better after he talked to the loan officer guy.

I guess leaving his grumpy butt at home while you go to the Museum is out of the question...

I would tell his family to keep on waiting till some of this other stuff gets straightened out.

Really sorry that you are having such a time of it.

hiya deemabrouk and allousa.

Good morning Charles

good morning all, and happy sunday!

I hope you can drag him to the museum Dee, he'll probably enjoy it once he's there!

and allousa, did you finish your yard work yesterday?

Heyy... Happy Sunday to Everyone! Dee ... I hope you have a great day today !!! Tam

Hey! Oh Dee that sucks! Maybe things will get better soon? When did he arrive again?

sounds like they already have one, im sure the adjustment is hard, sorry its so hard on everyone hopefully soon it will calm

Dee, I hope he starts feeling more "settled" soon. It is a very hard transition for them but not only that, it is a hard transition for us as well. Take everything 1 step at a time and hopefully things will work themselves out in due time. I hope you make it to the museum. It may really be a good time!

amal

Awww, Dee. That sucks. Do you have access to counselling, something simple through a local mosque or anything? Having a third part listen might help ease the transition a bit.

Dee, I only know about your situation based on what you write here, so I may be way off base, BUT here goes anyway. Have you read anything about the stages of cultural shock? Has your husband? His behaviors maybe simply be expressions of emotions that he himself can't really explain why he is acting like he is.

Here is a good place to start- http://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/shock.htm
How well does this fit your situation? Does it seem to explain everything? If so then jst do a quick google search on "understanding cultural shock"....

I think if this is the situation, reading something that explains what you feeling and how it is so normal does A LOT to help yu manage it.

ETA Just notice one tool for coping comes fromt eh Bible! Oh well, they still are on target with what it is an dhow to understand it and there are other sites that will confirm it from a nonchristian POV>

I'm sorry about what you two are going through. I wish I could be the one to tell you it will soon get easier, but quite frankly, I can't. All I can say is hang in there.

What up Charles!!!!!!!

Thanks for asking.

I got some done yesterday. I still need to spray some Round-up to kill the weeds.
Got some low limbs that need to be trimmed from the "Creepy Myrtles" , that's what I call them. Having your own house is great for the most part, but dayum, the work is never ending!!!!

My neighbor walked up while I was out working in the yard and asked if there was any word about my hubby coming home. I told him not yet, but hopefully soon. I told him hopefully really soon so he could cut the frigg'in grass!!!!!!

just standing by with the popcorn.

After my hubby first got here he was very eager to cut grass on his very own home...fast forward 2 yrs later it like: Honey the grass needs cutting and hes like what again didnt we just cut it 3 weeks ago


By the way HI EVERYONE

Well I started my morning taking my "monster" I mean teenage boxer dog Lucy to the dog park. Going to clean the house and read that last chapter of Harry Potter Its been anything but a relaxing book to read! MyBest Friend and I are going out to dinner where there is a great Arabic Band in the city, I have not had a night out in months. All and all besides NOT having my love here it is a nice sunday

Deemabrouk
I have to say I appreciate your honesty so much. What your going through is so much what I have been thinking about in my future. I have even started to think it might be good to start off with couples counseling from the get go. It feels like there are so many issues at work culture shock, family role, idenity crisis and security(work - finding your place), the after shocks of theis whole limbo of immigration and wanting something so much only to get it end up feeling overwhelmed and struggling. My heart goes out to you and transition times are always hard in about 3 months I bet you will be in a much better flow, if not sooner.
water girl

Hi Dee,

I'm just curious about one thing...how long did you know him before you married him? How many times did you actually see him physically? I'm sorry for all the problems you are having now when it should be such a happy time for both of you.

I hope you will find some kind of resolution and I wish both of you much happiness.

I KNOW.....I get this question asked EVERY DAY......it's SOOOOOOOOOOOO annoying!!!!

Me too...

Hi Dee!

I am sorry to hear about your experience - my heart goes out to you - believe me I can relate to the stress of the adjustments - it took my husband some time to get there. Right now he is pretty independent and out of my hair - finally!

Hang in there...

Dorothy

hi everyone! poor abdou still hasn't received his bag from jetblue and they haven't been the nicest about helping us out... he has NO CLOTHES, NO UNDERWEAR, etc! we've spent tons of our time shopping and attempting to replace his missing items but he is so frustrated because he can't get exactly what he wanted/ had already! there is definitely a culture shock aspect with him too. i'm doing my best to be really patient and understanding...it sure is hard!!!!!!! we went to the gym together the other day and he freaked out when he saw men showering naked in the locker room. LOL that was among many other things he's been surprised by. he's also been surprised by how many women in hijab he's seen around here. i think he was under the assumption there were no muslims in california. lol!
i think it will also take a long time for him to adjust to life here. hopefully he will end up loving it! so far, so good though! i'm exhausted from being the "host" and its only been a week! hehe

I agree with mybackpages about the cultural shock thing....alot of vj members can relate to your frustration, and it doesn't have anything to do with the time spent knowing each other before hand because nothing can fully prepare him for leaving his life as he knew it to start another one.

I will say in my case it was alot of ups and downs, he always perked up when he called his family but really just getting used to our life together is what made us stronger. We did the touring the city thing, going to get arabic books and movies, cooking his foods, etc..

Hopefully it gets better with time. Oh yeah and the baby question was THEE question of the day. It was getting to the point where I think his family thought it was because I was unhappy so I was holding off, when really I just
wanted to get closer to finishing school. He understood my reasons and he was tired of hearing it too.

ok...i gotta ask. doesn't everyone shower naked?

Of course everyone showers naked. lol
But he's probably used to showers having doors, instead of being open where one can see everyone and everything.

*eta - or perhaps they walk around naked in the locker room before/after showering. I've not been into a mens gym locker room so I couldn't say for sure.

hi everyone...hope all are having a good night...