I'm panicking ... I need someone to tell me where to find the A# .. not the departure # on I94???

The A# should be on your NOA's and looks like this: A 094-001-457 (not my A#, just made one up)

is this for the DS 156?? , if so i took the example form from here and just put tourist visiter visa , left the A number out and send it out like that ,, I send the checklist Ds 156 ds 156K ds 230 this week they resived it the 25th , send them an e mail asking the confirm of delivery and the documents to be in correct order , theyr reply was they dont look at new mail for another 2-3 weeks if its on the new mail pile I have to check back in 2-3 weeks , ( i know they got it I mailed it express signature required , it got signd by ) anyhow now I just hope I did fill out the forms right

OH YEAH AND CONGRATULATIONS ON THE LONG WAITE FOR THE INTERVIEW , HOPE I CAN FOLLOW SOON IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS

Another spot to look as well:

My A# is written on my I-94 as well - on the back side, above my fiance's name (written in by hand).

It's also on the NOA2, the approval notice for the petition.