Just wondering....

No. There's no demand for my profession in the UK. It was never really an option.

We've talked about it. The reason he's moving here is becuase I have joint custody of my kids with my ex.

If for some reason his visa is denied, I'll start custody proceeding with my ex so that I we can arrange things in a way that would enable me to move there with him.

In my profession, I could make a lot more in the UK than I'm making here, so it is an option... just one that would require either uprooting my kids or... well, basically abandoning them.

My husband and i talked about us living in Europe for a while...

It's a possibility for the future, yes.

Even though I'm originally FROM there, I would hesitate to move back as

• I don't think I'd ever get used to paying bribes for everything
• crazy admission procedures for schools (for any children born of the marriage)

We discussed it while we were waiting. If need be, I would have moved there, but wouldn't have had much chance of reasonable employment. I have a pension that would have supported us.

If he was from uk, austrailia, europe or even new zealand maybe, but pakistan? I don't think so.

I would love to - but Australia is WAY far from Florida. My parents would KILL Me - It's too far, and we are a close family. But it's still an option for the future

On behalf on my husband. YES he would have moved to England. In fact we were looking into it last year before various events forced us back to the U.S. We'd both rather be in England, but it just isn't possible right now with him having regular surgeries and procedures. In the future we'd live there in a heartbeat. Especially if we have children, I dont want them educated in the American public school system.

Yes, but in the future/


I would have loved to go there, but I have joint custody with my ex, a house and I love my work here...
My profession is looked at a bit differently there. I am viewed as a luxury provider there-rather than as a health provider, as I am here.

It is however, something that we plan on in the future however, when my son is of age and off on his own. As far as work, I am adaptable and find something else to do, which I plan on anyway-as my hands won't stay steady and strong forever.

-Rose

I cannot believe that some people answered "No" that they wouldn't move there. (Flame ready suit on). I would do ANYTHING it took to make our relationship work. Ali would do ANYTHING it took to make it work. I think it's sad to ask someone to leave their country and come to you when you would never even consider the same. We are two people in love that will sacrafice whatever it takes to be together and start or family. I would totally move to Lebanon in a heartbeat and live there if Ali's visa was not going to work out.

If it made the most financial sense for us, then I would have in a minute. I'll do whatever I have to, so long as I'm with him.

Very well put... I actually FORGOT to respond myself LOL and was going to say the same thing... I would move to the moon if it meant us being together.. I said from the beginning I would gladly move to England especially because of his son but after plenty of discussion we thought coming here would be best. Mainly because I've been at my job for over 15 years and not that I couldn't find work in England it just would be easier for Crash to get work here (hopefully) since he's got background in a bunch of things... We did say that eventually we would love to retire to England.. I fell in love with the country along with my man and can't wait to go back...

Cari

We discussed the option of him moving here. But he shares custody of his kids and I could never ask him to leave his kids for me. If he did I would have to wonder about him honestly. Also financially it did not make sense for him to leave. I answered for him, yes, he would if that is what we had to do to be together. Thankfully I am able to go to him.

Jerry moving to Canada was definitely an option, and it still is an option, because he loves Nova Scotia and wants to live there in the future and gain dual citizenship. At this point in time, us being here in the US made the most sense. Although, if Jerry didn't have great medical insurance, I wouldn't have moved.

I did move there and remained happily for 10 years, and will probably go back.

I did and I lived there for 2 1/2 years. But all along we had the intention of moving back to the US once we got his visa, which is what we did. We wanted to do this because we have a better chance of offering better education and job opportunities to our future children in the US.

It's a definate possibility

i say that i would (i KNOW my parents would kill me), but i've never even visited india, and all i know about it is from bollywood movies (which i've heard are misleading). i know that nizzar will never move back there, so it's not really a question for me.

He had the ability to support me, and a job and a car and a place for us to live... I couldn't return the favour because I didn't have any of the above! So there wasn't really any need for discussion.
You don't have an option for 'we thought about it but it wasn't practical'

What if doing so meant abandoning your children, as someone said above? What if you needed medical attention you couldn't get there? What if, like me, you had spent years and gone tens of thousands of dollars in debt to build a profession and a professional reputation that would be absolutely worthless in the other country?

I plan to retire in 10 years. We are going to move to the Philippines and buy an appartment building. Stay in one unit and rent the others. I have a brother that is engaged to a Philipina. He is retiring from the Navy soon and will move there also.

I have a son too near to finishing high school. I would have gone, but would have had to wait.

I would love to live there. Convenient mass transit, basic needs within walking distance, smaller easier to care for homes. Not to mention the fact that you can't be bankrupted by illness. Nor become homeless unless you chose to be.

Not tryin to argue but I have one question for you ... What will you do if she gets denied ? And denied ? And denied ? If there was absolutely no way she can come here ? It was your choice to marry someone from overseas ... right ? Yes, I have a professional career here that is taking off pretty well. I will graduate from my university in December (I would never leave before graduation), however my husband is way more important then anything tangible. Give me the entire world on one hand and my husband on the other, and I would choose him ... no matter the circumstances, no strings attached. That's all I am trying to say. Haven't you ever heard of "for better or for worse" ?

He11 no. I told the USICS at my interview I would not move to
Pakistan!



I belive I responded with HE11 NO! the USICS asked me at my interview. would i move to
pakistan with my husbnad I said flat out " NO " that wont happen. she said
waht if I deneid this petition. I said " ok, but i would wait til you changed your minds"
I would not be moving there NOPE! sad as you see it but that is your opinion. I am an american
I am not moving to no pakistan. vist yes certainly. live there no way in he11!

oh walked out of my interview with an approval! - thank you very much!

Hubby and I have thought about it. At the moment, it is not an option because I would not be able to sponsor my foreign hubby to live in Indonesia permanently (consequently would not be able to work), on the other hand I speak English better than hubby speak Indonesian....hence the move to US.

But we are thinking about going to live in Indonesia in the future (money & regulation allows).

oh give me a break! you think because, people on here love their Spouse less because they refuse to live in their Spouses country? each and everyone has made their choices on their needs and spouses needs. the only one Croaking about it is YOU! I think the poster above having a profession and the posters having childeren or whatever is their reason for making the choice they decided. its nothing to belittle them over. maybe you wanna live in Lebannon thats your right. its not fair for you to think others are wrong for not wanting to be like YOU!

I can and did. We went through the whole USCIS visa process, got married, and then better opportunity presented itself back in the UK-so we moved.

I would live there in a minute....though the only work I could probably do there would be as an English teacher (though theoretically my work can be done anywhere in the world there is Internet access, my company probably would not allow it). But he really wants to come here. I should have picked the answer "Yes but my family would kill me." Especially because I have an 11-year-old and they would not want me to take him to Korea (though he is half Korean). If I went there there are issues, such as my son's education, that would be difficult. Also I have a disability and the facilities over there are not as advanced as here. I sure hope we at least do get to visit there often.

So really.. what if the visa had been denied? What would you have done since Pakistan is out of the question for you?

I do get that its "easier" to move to certain countries rather than others but is it about the country or your spouse?

no doubt..i liked almaty and if i could speak russian ..i would love to live there

Add Russia to that list! Not in a million years and I was born there. I was mostly displeased with how it is over there even when I was visiting! I like it here too much. Bribery corruption, low pay, authoritative regime, random searches and seizures, cold, etc.. Way too many reasons to stay in the US.

I agree...I've said it before in different topics that our relationship wasn't conditional, meaning "it'll only work out if he could move to the US". We knew when we were falling in love, it meant we had to decide if we were willing to do whatever it took to be together. I think every international couple has to tackle that and to me it's way too complicated if it depends only on the foreigner coming to the US. If Sujeet's visa had been denied,etc, I would have moved to India even though it'd be hard for me to live there. It's too stressful to be in a relationship where your being together depends only on if they can come to the US. I always wonder why people go into relationships like that when they know it could possibly mean they don't get to be together. There should not be those kinds of conditions on a relationship in my opinion. Or if someone can't bare to move to their love's country,they should find a 3rd country to live in together as a secondary plan.

About leaving children etc, I still don't understand someone committing to a relationship that is so conditional, that they cannot leave the US to be together. They should decide at the beginning of the relationship if they are willing to leave the US and are able to bring their children or not, or say this relationship cannot work if that person cannot come to the US.

It's about priorities and what is the most important thing in your life. If career is the most important, then it'd be complicated to get involved in an international relationship with the condition that you aren't moving. Also, if someone's surroundings are the top priority, again I don't understand getting involved in a international relationship when you might potentially have to move away. If someone's kids are top priority(which is excellent!), then they'd either have to see if they and their kids could potentially move, or else realize they might never be able to live with the person they fall in love with if they cannot move. My top priority was God, and then after meeting Sujeet he became 2nd priority, and I would have left the US, and my career(if I had one hehe) and my family(which I am extremely close to) to be with him. It'd be really hard but if I wanted to be with Sujeet, I'd have to do it. If I had kids I don't think I would have gotten involved in an international relationship unless we all could move if need be. Those are just my thoughts on it all. (when a loved one's visa just flat out gets denied and stays that way, is what I am referring to)

He and I got married while he was here on a J-1. It was my choice to marry my husband, not just "someone from overseas." And he always knew I would never move to the UK, and he wouldn't ask me to. It was always understood that we would live in the US, though we've discussed the possibility of moving to Europe (but not the UK).

I would never marry someone who expected me to abandon my career.

Definitely. We are both open to it. But only time will tell if and when.

I already did move to the UK to be closer to him. I've been here over 2 years. We made the conscious decision that we'd be much happier living in the US. We need sunshine, space and low prices!

Si, Check us out in 5 years (the plan anyway) I'll be sitting by the Med, drink in hand, with my baby by my side watching our children play in the sand....

I certainly would have moved. I don't know what kind of life we would have had in Mexico. I can't speak spanish so I couldn't work down there. We probably wouldn't have been able to live in the town he is from because he couldn't find a job there either. It would have been hard but I would have done anything to be with him. It would have all been worth it had that been what happened.

[/quote]

So really.. what if the visa had been denied? What would you have done since Pakistan is out of the question for you?

I do get that its "easier" to move to certain countries rather than others but is it about the country or your spouse?
[/quote]

I also think moving to ANOTHER country should be mentioned and an option. I and my wife have talked about this, and would most likely do so if there was ever the chance that her visa be denied and the job opportunities were not viable for me in HER country , in order to move there. There is always the option of moving to Canada, the UK, etc....or some other country.

My wife is from Turkey, Istanbul, and I have actually applied and searched for a position there while she serves her 2 years J-1 residency requirement. Unfortunately, the difficulty of moving and the slim job possibilities stopped us from making that choice. It was something we both agreed on, to wait out the 2 years and for her to immigrate here, because it was matter of what would be best for us in the long run.

But, having to be separated from her for over a year now (we do visit each other as often as we can), with one more year to go, ...........I have the unfortunate luxary of knowing what my life is like without her. It must be hard for people to quite understand this, until they are in such a position as us.

One way or another though, if it came down to it................we'd find a way, in some country, tough as it may be to start from scratch......to be together again.

It's hard enough to be separated from her for 2 years.........much less forever.

We'd find a way............................

James wanted to move here anyways and I think this is where we will be happiest, but if he hadn't wanted to leave Ireland I would have given life there a go. Even now, if he gets real homesick, although that doesn't appear to be happening yet!, I would be more then willing to try living over there.

And someday I plan to.

See I would give up graduation for my husband ... I would give up almost anything for my husband .. but I would not abandon my children for him. Some people are in the position where they can leave and that is ok, but one thing to remember, just because the courts here give shared custody does NOT mean that both parents are equal. My ex does a lot of fun things with my daughter and she enjoys the time she spends with him, but in many ways he is just a big child himself. If I leave her she would not learn the things she needs to in order to succeed as an adult. How could my husband respect me if I leave her. How could he feel comfortable that I would do what is best for a child we have together if I do that. It isn't about my love for my husband. It's about putting my childs needs before myself.

I'd move there now if I could, but my ex would blow a gasket if I took the kiddos.

it was not denied. so guess shonnie wont be moving to pakistan. nothign in HELL would make me move to pakistan against my wishes..

Had I wanted to live in my spouse's home country, I would've moved there first, then gotten married.

But instead, it was the other way around.

Nowadays, she lives over there and I live over here.

I agree with Meddy. But if it came down to the visa beig denied (which is very highly unlikely) I would do what I'd have to in order to be with him. I wouldn't leave my children, but I would hire a damn good lawyer and start working on custody arrangements so my kids could come with me.

I don't want to have to take them away from their father. They are very happy now as we have the custody arrangement: 3 days a week with him, 4 with me, then 4 days with him the next week and 3 with me. 6 months in England with me, and 6 months with him would wreak havoc on their enducation... and them spending the school year with me and holidays (including school holidays) with him would probably be how it would have to work, but it would mean we wouldn't have the 50-50 custody split we've got now. (plus my finace really doesn't like living in England)

I'll admit Shon: it's a lot easier for me to say "I'd move there" since he's in the UK and its standard of living is very similar to the US, the language is the same (mostly... still don't quite get rhyming slang), and since I was raised by an Anglophile and lived there myself when very small it feels like a comfortable place when I'm there.
I wouldn't want to move to Pakistan either. If it were the case of moving somewhere that was THAT different from what I was used to, I'd look into that 3rd country option; see if we could both emigrate to some other country together. Like Canada.

Only then I'd have to live with Canadians .

Wow Shon! Not quite what you've griped at me for months and months..but hey! forget about all THAT now that you're the one being asked! After browsing the site the last few days and seeing all the unnecessary attacks and our names being brought up by this person time and time again(on threads that have NOTHING to do with us!), I don't really care if anyone sees this as me 'calling her out' or whatever. I'm quite tired of this 'sir' and I don't intend to pussyfoot around him to be sure! Doesn't matter whether it's UK or Pakistan or anywhere else either..uprooting your life, upsetting those around you, your kids and yourself has nothing to do with the conditions where you are.I could quote the things you said (and if you insist upon me finding what you said *I should do that *you're unwilling to do yourself, I will, but don't feel like wasting my time searching for what I know is there anyway) Sounds to me like you wouldn't quite be willing to practice what you preach, Shonnie dearest. Hmmm.

Anyway, to answer the question, there are a lot of reasons I couldn't move to the UK, but the biggest one is that I highly doubt my ex would allow it either.....there is a possibility the ex could get overruled by the judge, however. As it stands, he doesn't see Corey, but he DOES have joint custody of him..so I don't know how that would work itself out. If it ever comes into play we'll find out I guess!

I did move there- and LOVED it. We only moved back due to severe child custody problems. I would live just about anywhere (with obvious exceptions) to be with my husband- it wouldn't even be an issue. I moved there to be with him, he moved here to be with me when it became obvioius we couldn't remain in the UK due to unresolvable child custody issues. That's what you do when you love someone.

Yes he would settle here in England if thats what it would take for us to be together...in fact he did choose to stay here for another 3 yrs when it came apparent that I couldn't return to US with him last year...but both of us would prefer to live in the US.